Friday, May 22, 2015

More Than You Could Ask or Imagine




Sometimes...words are just so inadequate.

I have struggled to wrap my brain around what God has done in the last two months. I have expressed it to friends, discussed it with family and tried to compile feeble praise to an Abba who loves to give sweet surprises to His children. I have witnessed the exuberance of friends who have been on this Journey with us and delighted as their uncontained excitement for us has spilled over onto the walls and floors of our new home. And yet, words have often failed me.

How do you describe a God who patiently walked me through the steps of what I thought we needed to work toward sustainability (at least  a 1 acre farm) toward the reality of where He wanted us (a 0.1 acre urban farm)?

How do you find words for a God who prompted an annoying homeowner to walk down an alleyway at precisely the right moment we exited viewing his home, which "coincidentally" steered us to the next home that I didn't even think we needed to view (and where we now live)?

How do you honor a God that I know (after meeting them) inspired the previous owners to pray for the exact family to come along that would appreciate the home they had lovingly tended for 35 years?

How do you explain a God who gave you every minute detail in a home that you've ever wanted, but were afraid to believe you could have?

How do you thank a God who knew you needed a lawn mower, yard tools, a trimmer, a new queen-sized bed, a shower curtain, space for indoor hydroponics, even stakes to hold up your tomato plants...and had the previous owners leave it all in excellent, clean condition???

How do you give voice to the amazement of a God who kept whispering, "Don't worry that the size of the yard is too small. You never know what may happen. There may be an abandoned lot or other space free up someday?"...only to discover on Monday that there is a community garden less than 1/2 a block from our home, and by Thursday, find someone working in it, which prompts my sweet friend to laugh and say, "Let's go talk to her", and the woman graciously contacts the person in charge who seriously offers you one to one and a half of the plots, hesitantly asks if you're okay with using only organic gardening practices AND ALMOST APOLOGETICALLY ASKS IF YOU'D BE WILLING TO SET OUT ANY ABUNDANCE FOR THE NEIGHBORS TO TAKE FREELY????????

There is, as yet, one single heart's desire that I have to find unfulfilled! My husband and children are pleased with the location, we are excited to become familiar with the bus system, and there is low-income housing down the street that others may fear, but expectantly calls me to serve and Love in the Name of my precious Savior and Abba.

I have attempted and failed to express to those around me all that has happened these last eight weeks. I have apologized for appearing docile while their excitement cannot be contained. It has truly been more emotion than I can absorb. It almost feels like I'm beginning to simply "take it in stride".

I never want to take for granted the precious care my Father provides, but yesterday as we walked back from the community garden, I think my sweet friend summed it up best, 'How could the One who shaped and molded your small heart in His hands not know exactly what you needed and wanted?' 

I guess it was just a matter of time, refining in us, and prompting beautiful people to give up their well-loved home before it could all be played out to His glory and honor.

God, please create the words in my heart and soul that express my joy and delight in You. And when words are not enough, may my life be a reflection of Your grace, a witness of Your love and a steady stream of mercy flowing out into everyone around me. You. Are. Amazing. I am blessed to be Your's! Amen!