A Sodden Mush

In Eugene Peterson's chapter entitled "The Last Word on Witness" in the book Reversed Thunder, I read the following:
"If ordinary, daily Christian conversation is not to congeal into a sodden mush of platitude and cliche', it needs to be in touch with the rich, vibrant reality of the supernatural, the invisible vitalities of God who, Psalm 18 tells us, "rode on a cherub."

I don't want a "sodden mush"...do you? Aren't you tired of all the banalities? Doesn't your soul long to talk about more than the latest book, movie or celebrity gossip? Don't you thirst to talk about things that matter?

I do...and odds are, so do you.

If you really analyze most of our media...whether texting, Facebook, Twitter, print, internet or television...isn't most of it a "sodden mush". Believe me, I am just as guilty as anyone else! And so much of this carries over into the majority of our conversations...even among Christians. My conversation so easily degenerates into things that don't matter...who said what, who did what, what I did, what I said or where any one of us went. Don't believe me? Just take a few minutes to run through your Facebook homepage and ask God for His perspective about what really matters. See what I mean?

So why, if we call ourselves Jesus followers, do we not talk of the things that matter...which of course, are the things of God? My experience has been that a lot of us just don't want to hear it. I've even been told I used Holy Spirit or God too much in my conversation. Hmmmm? Interesting isn't it.

But thankfully, the Holy Spirit (sorry...gotta give credit where it is due!) has brought a few ladies into my life that do love to discuss the things of God. These ladies love Him first and foremost and it is not only evident in their speech...but also in their lives!

Sure, we talk about healthy eating, our kids, our home school curriculum, our churches, our needs, our fears and our doubts...but lurking (for lack of a better word) always in the background or mentioned right out in the open is the reference and deference to the God who gave us all, loves us most, knows us best and longs to draw us closer. What an amazing gift I have a few times a month to sit down and chat with these ladies! And there are a few that don't have the time to sit down with me regularly...that's okay too. I seek out the opportunity to chat with them at home school co-op or other places, even if it's only for a few minutes.

I realized yesterday just how quickly my own conversation degenerates away from the things of God yesterday. I was tired, it had been a rough morning in the nursery at co-op and someone was annoying me. I said something judgmental to someone sitting next to me and Holy Spirit brought me up short. I spoke up to the person I'd made the comment to and said something like, "It really is none of my business is it? It really has nothing to do with me?" Thankfully, she was honest and said, "You're right, it's not." Right there in that moment, God wasn't even mentioned and she affirmed to my heart the things of God that matter.

And overall, Peterson's point is that witness is simple "truth telling". But it's a Truth that unfortunately the world doesn't want to hear. "The witness may be a hero to Christians, but in the world the witness is solitary, suspect, ignored, and occasionally abused." Peterson's observations sometimes extend to inside the church as well.

I make no claims of being a bold witness and my mostly good-natured intentions have sometimes been misconstrued as being pretentious instead. There have been many miscommunications on my part and misunderstandings on the behalf of others. There have also been times when I thought no one but God could possibly understand my heart. I've survived the storms that have come and as only He can do He has helped me even thrive. So on this day...in this season of my life, I'm ever so thankful for the five ladies with whom He has intersected my path. Our conversations may sometimes be sporadic as we play hit or miss with our schedules, but when we do have opportunity to share, the conversations are 'rich, vibrant, real' and full of the "invisible vitalities of God".

Amen!

Combing Out

Yesterday, I had a friend facing what could have been a very traumatic ordeal. I woke up with her on my mind and as I sat alone with the Holy Spirit, I kept praying for His peace to overtake her. What I read in Jesus Calling made me teary, because I knew He'd written it for my friend.

Problem is, she doesn't have a copy of the book. So I thought I'd post the quote on Facebook. Trouble with that was I knew she wouldn't have time to check FB before her day began. Holy Spirit said..."Text her". So I did.

It took three texts and that was only half of the message. It's such an amazing message for all of us that I feel compelled to share it here today:

"I speak to you from the depths of your being. Hear Me saying soothing words of Peace, assuring you of My Love. Do not listen to voices of accusation, for they are not from Me. I speak to you in lovetones, lifting you up. My Spirit convicts cleanly, without crushing words of shame. Let the Spirit take charge of your mind, combing out tangles of deception. Be transformed by the truth that I live within you.
The Light of My Presence is shining upon you, in benedictions of Peace. Let My Light shine in you; don't dim it with worries or fears. Holiness is letting Me live through you. Since I dwell in you, you are fully equipped to be holy. Pause before responding to people or situations, giving My Spirit space to act through you. Hasty words and actions leave no room for Me; this is atheistic living. I want to inhabit all your moments--gracing your thoughts, words, and behavior."
Romans 8:1-2
Colossians 1:27
I Corinthians 6:19

Combing out. What a great visual reminder to me of just how easily I get caught up in the seemingly tiny deceptions that satan sets out to trap me. "Voices of accusation", "shame", "deceptions", "hasty words and actions", "no room for (Him)" and "atheistic living" can describe any number of arrows hurled at me or from me throughout a typical day.

We were made for more than that, weren't we? Absolutely!

But God never promised it would be easy, did He? And I love this idea of letting Him comb out the deceptions. I have three daughters...I've done my fair share of detangling hair. I even have one that has a very sensitive head, although they've all done their fair share of jumping, yelling "OUCH!", crying, pleading with me to "STOP!!!!" and a few times just getting up and running out of the room to avoid the inevitable untangling that needed to be done.

Metaphorically (& sometimes literally!), don't we do the same thing to God when He attempts to untangle the deceptions that are comfortable to us? Honestly? I have. I'm guessing that we've all yelled "Enough!", "STOP!!!!" and even run away when He's tried to gently and tenderly comb out the tangled knot of deception.

Deception is where we're comfortable right? Think about it. If you've had the opportunity to come face-to-face with the dysfunction in your family, the arrogance and pride you've hidden behind, the cloud of doom, shame, blame or guilt surrounding you and actually had the courage to deal with it...you know what I mean. It's tough work!

But if you've ever had the pleasure of combing through your child's tangles...no matter the tears, the screams, the pain, the stress, the length of time...when that shimmering, smooth, soft, beautiful hair cascades freely down over their shoulders...you realize it was worth it all.

As one who had to face her family's and her own dysfunction, as one who has dealt with my own guilt, shame, pain, arrogance, pride, judgment, deceit, pretension, etc., etc. etc. I can wholeheartedly and honestly disclose to you a secret that your enemy does not ever want you to know...every tear, every pain, every minute of sitting still while He combed out the tangles was worth it all!  The free flowing beauty and awareness of His love, mercy and compassion far out pays anything I had to endure.

One more thought...He can't comb out and detangle a moving target. If you're on the run, He will chase you...but He can't do the work until you sit still. Maybe take a lesson from my 11 year old, Rebekah...the sensitive-headed child. You see, she learned a few years ago that if she read a book while I combed out her hair, the distraction lessened the pain.

If you have some tangles of deception that need combed out, my best advice would be quit running, pull up a chair and grab His Book. Start reading and let Him distract you from the pain with His Love.

Listening

Again, I'm behind in blogging some things that I'd hoped to share. I've realized that this season of my life, no matter whether it's short (I hope!) or not, is one where I'm not only having difficulty hearing God because of too many distractions...but the lessons I am learning are deeply personal, yet seemly insignificant on the surface. Today's that I share is an example of such.

I once read that to 'learn forgiveness, one should learn to listen.' I liked that when I first came across it a few years ago and I've made a concerted effort to be a better listener ever since. When I'm with someone that listens better than I do, it appears that I still talk too much, but overall...God has made me more outward-focused. One area this is evident? I've become a better listener. Note...I said better...not perfect.

And when I finally began learning to shut-up, I became aware of a lot of things I'd never noticed before. For instance, there are many people that don't know how to listen. I've become more aware of just how often I'm interrupted by those that just want you to hear them and really don't care to listen to what you're saying. I've also always been able to read body language, intonation, pregnant pauses and a whole host of other things pretty well. But when I quit feeling the need to dominate conversation, this "subtext" began to scream even louder so I could truly hear what was being said. The Holy Spirit's discernment has also grown in me, so sometimes there are things that I just "know" even without necessarily being told by the person.

I've also realized that when I'm listening to others speak, I often add something that attaches me to their conversation...an experience, something I've learned, or a funny story about my kids. Truly, their conversation could have absolutely nothing to do with me...and I'll try to make it applicable to my life. Twisted, I know...but I've noticed that most people I know do the exact same thing.

So why is this?

Eugene Peterson helped pull all of the above together for me a few weeks ago when I read this: "We live in a noisy world. We are yelled at, promoted, called. We are surrounded with noise: telephone, radio, television, stereo. Messages are amplified deafeningly. The world is a mob in which everyone is talking at once and no one is willing or able to listen. But God listens. He not only speaks to us, He listens to us. His listening to us is an even greater marvel than His speaking to us. It is rare to find anyone who listens carefully and thoroughly. It is rare to find our stammering understood, our clumsy speech deciphered, our garbled syntax unravelled, sorted out and heard--every syllable attended to, every nuance comprehended. Our minds are taken seriously. Our feelings are taken seriously. When it happens we know that what we say and feel are immensely important. We acquire dignity. We never know how well we think or speak until we find someone who listens to us." (Reversed Thunder, emphasis mine)

Peterson's Biblical reference for knowing that God listens? When the prayers of the saints rise to heaven, Revelation 8:1 tells us there was silence in heaven "for about half an hour".

When we think no one else will listen, no one else will care...we are promised that all of heaven is silent when we offer our petition to God.

Another interesting thing I thought of while typing Peterson's paragraph above is that this book was written in 1988. When he wrote about the noise of telephone, radio, television, and stereo, he had no clue just how deafening the noise would be to a woman reading his book in the year 2012. I can't begin to count how many times I've walked by tables in a restaurant or coffee shop and seen people, often families, not even looking up at each other as they eat because they're all attached to their iPhones, or various other electronics. If it's this way in public, are their homes any different? I've seen in our own family how quickly my kids have become glued to their iPod touches that they received for "tax check Christmas".

Do we even stop and consider just how counter-cultural it is to turn off the devices and give someone our undivided attention? I don't mean put it on vibrate, check to see who's trying to reach you and just ignoring it. For all practical purposes, that's still an unnecessary interruption.

If all heaven is truly silent when someone has a concern, a petition, a praise...shouldn't we be as well? I heard a good sermon yesterday about how the church has a history of wounding those who are already hurting. Judgment is often the weapon of choice used against people who just want help, hope and healing. But even now, as I process through what I heard, I can't help thinking what if instead of drawing any conclusions about someone, we just chose to turn off all the noise in our lives...and listen?

Yes, maybe there would be some tough choices to be made, some action to take on the path to healing and wholeness...but what I kept hearing over and over again in the stories that where shared was again, the subtext. It was said repeatedly, 'I was judged and they wrote me off!' Different words by different people, but the story was the same. Sometimes, I don't even think it's the judgment that hurts. I think it's the fact that someone jumped to a conclusion about you without even taking a moment to listen.

The conclusion the speaker drew yesterday is the same one I leave you with today: Even when everyone in the church fails you...judges you...possibly even disowns you. Even if you feel you have no choice but to give up on the church...don't give up on Jesus.

No one else will ever listen as well as He does...but as His followers, that's the standard set before us. So if you call yourself a Jesus follower, next time someone has a need to share with you...turn off your phone, open up your heart and just listen. If heaven is silent for half an hour, surely we can be too!

Amen!

February Financial Statement

Tax season has had me chasing my tail, so I'm slightly behind in getting this posted. But...here is the February Financial Statement for Boundless Ministries.

Laughing at LaRosa's

I'm breaking our "mostly" Media-Free Mondays in order to share a great moment that happened this evening at dinner. We were dining at LaRosa's at the end of an afternoon of grocery shopping (ironic, I know!) and there was a moment...just a moment...when I almost snorted my mouthful of food up through my nose and I realized the other five members of my family were all laughing just as hard as I was and I felt the Spirit's nudge say, "This is it!"

Reflecting on our way home, I realized He was making me aware in the moment it happened, just how thankful I am that my kids are 8, 11, 13 and 16, and along with their dad and I, we can all still have dinner and enjoy being together. Oh, we're not perfect...we squabble our fair share...but on this night...at that moment...we were all having a really great belly-laugh! The additional blessing God's Spirit reminded me of was that I had asked Him this morning to show me His glory. Today, He just happened to express it in laughter that was so hard, I almost choked! Ha!

Yeah...we do some weird things, like home school, volunteer together as a family, eat different than a lot of folks and practice "mostly" Media-Free Mondays...but today, I decided it just may be worth it all!

Welcome! Добро пожаловать!

Еверыдай, вхен И лог онто тхис блог, тхере аре они ор море виевс фром сомеоне ин Россия. И вас ехцитед тхе дай тхат И сав овер 100 виевс фром тхис ланд тхат ис овер халф а ворлд авай. Ас оф тхис дате, тхере аре нов овер 500 пагевиевс фром Россия алоне.

Вхен И сав тхе капабилиты фор транслатион он тхе блог, И тхоугхт Иьд ехтенд а велцоме анд а тханк ые фор такинг тхе тиме то реад тхис блог. Вы май невер меет, тхе тхе Год вхо плацед ус ехацтлы вхере вы аре ис тхе Год оф ал мерки, тхе Год оф ал хопе, анд тхе Год оф ал Лове. Анд ин Хис совереигн тиминг вы вилл меет, он тхис еартх ор ин Хис Хеавенлы Кингдом. И лук форвард то тхе дай тхат И ам блессед то хеар йор сторы ас ые have со патиентлы листенед то мини.

Унтил тхат дай, И прай Лорд фор йор чилдрен ин Россия...май тхей нов тхе унсурпассабле жой, тхе унлимитед хопе анд тхе унстоппабле повер оф Йор Лове. Анд Лорд, иф тхей эвер шелд фел лед by Ые...И вельд финд греат блессинг ин хеаринг парт оф тхеир сторы сун.

Амен!

Kony 2012

About ten years ago I first heard of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) in Uganda. What struck me at the time was how would I, as a parent, feel if my son (then 3) would some day be taken from our home and forced to kill, maime, rape and destroy thousands of lives all for a warlord (Joseph Kony) who was doing it for no other reason than to retain his own power?

Over the years, I've heard bits and pieces of information about this evil man and his reign of terror but because I live in white, middle-class suburban United States could largely put it out of my mind. But every now and then, when my children were being selfish or thought their lives were awful because I wouldn't let them have the latest electronics item or spend countless hours playing on media or I'd asked them to do more than they deemed to be the "fair" amount of work, I have tried to put their "plight" in perspective by asking them to consider their troubles in light of millions of children around the world...including the child soldiers of the LRA.

Now, one of my children has brought to my attention a grass-roots campaign whose aim is for 2012 to be the year that Joseph Kony is arrested and brought to justice. Did you even know that he is number 1 on the International Criminal Court's most wanted list? He was the first person to be indicted by the International Criminal Court because his heinous crimes surpassed those of any other person...including Osama Bin Laden or Muammar Gaddafi. Because Kony's crimes are not seen as a security or economic threat to the U.S. though, nothing has been done to stop him...until now.

Take 30 minutes to watch this video please, then actually do something about it: write your congressmen, go on the website and contact the 20/12 leaders that this movement is targeting, get the word out on Twitter, Facebook, your blog, your church...everywhere. There is no reason this can't end...and soon. We no longer live in a world where we can say that what happens in Africa doesn't affect us.

Actually, stop and allow yourself to process that thought. I've said this many times on this blog and in many ways but there is one perspective I have not yet thrown out here for your consideration because I didn't want to sound too cynical. But whether it's famine relief or a warlord's 26-year reign of terror, what if within the next 3-5 years our nation would experience total economic collapse and the roles were reversed? What if someone akin to a Joseph Kony arose out of the ashes and began his evil power-hungry warmongering in your own backyard? Would we want the nations in Europe, Africa and Asia to see it as "our problem" and that it doesn't affect their "national security" or a possibility of "financial instability" to their homeland? Our country is not sitting on a pile of oil either...who would come to our aid merely out of the goodness of their hearts?

There's a lot of buzz going around on Facebook about Kirk Cameron's new movie too, called Monumental. Honestly, I don't know a lot about it other than it's something to do with how the U.S. has lost it's Christian roots and we need to get back to them. I agree. But I also recognize that the U.S. is a kingdom of this world and it is not my eternal home. Just stop and consider for a moment, what would be the most effective use of your Christian time and energy...rallying around a movie that tells Christians in the U.S. how we need to get back to our Christian heritage...or living out our Christian faith and values by contributing toward the relief of famine and war in Africa that will actually pass on that Christian heritage and values to the next generation that is closely examining us?

Hmmm??? Good question!

For more information, go to Kony2012.com

Feeding Time

Today's devotional in Jesus Calling, was good as it always is, but it wasn't anything that just "wow-ed" me...and then I read the Scripture verses.

"Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them." Hebrews 7:25

That one is great all by itself. But then in God's perfect timing, I read Psalm 37:3-4.

Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
 
These verses were an awesome reminder at how God has transformed my heart to desire the things that matter to Him. Of course He'll give me the desires of my heart because as I delight in Him, I draw closer to Him and the things that make Him joyful...make me joyful. Conversely, the things that break His heart...break mine. This has been a wonderful promise to me so many times over the last few years.
 
But I was at the computer when I looked up these two verses and rather than pull out my Bible and look them up, I searched Biblegateway.com as I sometimes do and this is where He "zapped" me. I say zapped because sometimes His Word just comes through like a nice little jab of lightning or a least a little electrical shock. This was one of those times.
 
It's an innocuous enough word...it doesn't seem that intrusive...but sometimes it's just one word...and this was it...cultivate. He tells us to "Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness."
 
He taught me several months ago that His faithfulness means His really, real reality. This world that we live in is often just "smoke and mirrors" put in place by our enemy, satan, who wants to distract us in any way he possibly can from becoming all that God created us to be. But God's faithfulness is His really, real reality and at the root of that really, real reality is an incomprehensible Love that knows no bounds. This faithfulness...the really, real reality will never change! Amen!
 
Today, though, I caught an alternate definition on Biblegateway.com for that little word "cultivate" and it said this: feed securely or feed on His faithfulness.
 
I know, maybe not much of a lightning bolt for you...but for someone who yet again is getting frustrated with her weight, eating habits, finding solace and comfort in food instead of God...this was just the shock that I needed prodding with for today.
 
What's He trying to say to me? Why do I consistently and persistently struggle with this area in my life? I know it's because I look to other things (in my case food) to satisfy my cravings for love, comfort, acceptance, peace, de-stressing, really...you could insert almost any emotion here. But God...today...wanted to remind me to feed on His faithfulness.
 
This is the most difficult, longest battle I have fought in my life. And I've fought it most of my life. Every fiber of my being is interwoven with the past, present and future of a life that has struggled with food. For those that want to reply that it's just a matter of self-discipline, determination, willpower, good food choices...etc...I say, "Good for you! But none of these have ever kept my weight off."
 
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt only standing full and complete and loved in His Presence will keep me satisfied for the long haul. After all...only He will completely fulfill the void of love, acceptance, comfort and every other emotion that I seek to fill with food.
 
Is this going to be easy? Absolutely not!
Is knowing that I should feed on God's faithfulness going to help me avoid every temptation from this point forward? Probably not!
Is feeding on God's faithfulness over time going to develop an intimacy with Him that will satisfy me in ways that food never can or will? Definitely yes!
 
I think that's a great place to start!
Amen!

Bi-monthly (mostly!) Prayer Requests and Updates

You'll find the latest on our Prayer Request Page. Things have been a little slow lately, due in large part to my feeling out of touch with many of the moms we know because I have been working between 20-35 hours a week. But tax season will soon be over and has already slowed down, so an additional request is that we'll be able to fall back into what's "normal" for us very soon.

As always, thank you for partnering with us in this ministry through prayer and petition on behalf of those often overlooked in our culture...the single moms who courageously face each day serving and sacrificing for their families. If you'd ever like to join this ministry as a Prayer Partner and receive bi-monthly updates and prayer requests through e-mail, please send an e-mail to me at a.barthauer@gmail.com with "Prayer Partner" in the subject line. I fervently believe that the most productive work any of us can do on behalf of single moms and their families is to pray for them confidently and boldly in the name of Jesus. Please consider joining us in this amazing act of service.

Visiting the Bard

Abbey, a few friends and I visited the Bard Wednesday morning...or at least we visited his resident company in Cincinnati. Needless to say, seeing one of my favorite Jane Austen stories...which makes it one of my favorite stories ever...was a thrill and the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company did not disappoint!

The best part? I'm tempted to say the $10.00 educational matinee tickets that would normally cost $28-32 for an evening performance...but I'll set that aside to admit that it was a great adaptation and portrayal of my beloved story of Elinor and MaryAnn Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility. I imagine it could be intimidating for any actor filling the shoes of prior successful portrayals such as Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet, but the local company was superb. Also, there is not a bad seat in the house. The upstage area is elevated by a gradual slope just as it was in Shakespeare's day and the house is small so viewing from any seat is excellent.

If I had any complaints, it would be regarding the costuming. For an era when all clothes would have been tailor-made (especially those belonging to the "gentle" class), several of the dresses and coats looked far too big for many of the actors and actresses. That being said, I did enjoy the opulence and diverse array of costumes and how they did show the disparity in income even among the upper class. Last year's Pride and Prejudice did not do as well at this as I would have liked to see.

Abbey and I have recently begun volunteering at the Aronoff Center so we're having great opportunities to see amazing Broadway shows and excellently performed ballets on the "big stage". I admit, I think I prefer the intimacy of the smaller theatre. Most of these actors were also in Pride and Prejudice last year and the performances were consistently excellent.

So if you're in the mood for something a little different than a showy spectacular...try the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company for the classics. I don't think you'll be disappointed.