A Lesson for Us All

Even on the days that I don't take the time for the daily liturgy of Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals, I like to read the references to our Church ancestors. It is deeply comforting to me to know that this Journey is so much bigger than me. Because I have been spending some time on my new Beth Moore study and have also been highly distracted, I had to do some catching up today.

Here is what I read from the September 12th entry: "Tatian the Assyrian, a second-century theologian, wrote, "Die to the world by renouncing the madness of its stir and bustle. God created nothing evil. It is we who brought forth wickedness. Those who brought it about can also do away with it again.""

Second-century "stir and bustle" is something I can only dream of. Regardless of comparing the differences of an age long gone by, there is nothing new under the sun and humankind has always been guilty of the ease with which we are distracted.

How can I see where God is working and join with Him if I don't stop and look up long enough to acknowledge Him? Liturgy and Bible study are just two of the many ways I can centre my day around Him instead of me. I am being challenged to go much deeper with Him and have been running away from the challenge.

In the wise words of Rafiki, the baboon from Disney's The Lion King, "It is time."

I extend the challenge to you as well.

A Heavy Heart

I e-mailed a friend yesterday and expressed my heaviness of heart. Yes, I still believe God wants us to be Weightless and daily I'm still attempting to turn all of my concerns and confessions to Him because I know He has the perfect answer and the perfect guidance for me and everyone...so why not give it to Him, right?

But for about 24 hours now, as I've been reflecting over the concerns for which others ask me to pray, I have to admit, it does feel a little overwhelming. I know God can take care of all things in a way that is for our good and His glory when we call Him Father and Lord...but my finite brain can't see how...and that's where I get stuck...that's when I need faith to take over.

And praise His name, here's where He gently led me to again this morning...Habakkuk 2:3.

This has become one of my favorite verses. When Holy Spirit first intersected my life with this verse, I even blogged about it. (See "Wait For It...Oh Snap!") Apparently the same day that I wrote that post, I wrote in the margin of my Bible, "Do not doubt His vision to me. It will happen at His appointed time. "Wait for it"" Expectantly hope. B. Moore- "Biblical hope is not focused on what might happen but what must happen." (LBY)

My heart was heavy this morning. Some of the many items I had on my heart to pray for included a family that is feeling major financial strain due to medical bills; a mom who may not have heating oil the next time she turns on her furnace; an expectant mom that is going without electricity this weekend (although Praise God! she did discover one outlet working and is making the most of it!), a mom that is feeling pressure from her ex over the kids and where they'll spend the holidays; our own financial strains (although I've learned to be content and hopeful in this area...just having to be very picky about where to spend is a constant issue); and add to all of this the number of single moms that are being brought to our attention (we know more than 20 now, directly and indirectly) on a more regular basis that experience constant financial stress and yes, my heart was experiencing it's fair share of sorrow this morning.

I never want to compare my stress or life to that of what my Savior, Jesus went through...but at times like this, I think I am being given just a meager glimpse at how He must have felt...knowing that God would take care of Him and at the same time grieving for so many that are still lost or under huge pressures and grief sometimes not even of their own doing. This morning as I was considering all of these, I was asking Holy Spirit to lead me to His thoughts about their concerns...not my thoughts.

That's when He reminded me of Habakkuk 2:3. I have most of it memorized, so I began saying it in my head:
"For the vision is yet for the appointed time;
It hastens (pants) toward the goal and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay." (emphasis mine)

As I thanked God for reminding me of this Scripture and how He has repeatedly used it to strengthen my faith and courage over the last few months, I felt specifically led to read it in the context of the whole chapter. This verse has meant so much to me regarding Boundless Ministries and the vision I believe He has given and is giving to me that it was enough. As far as I was concerned...this verse is complete.

I am thankful for a God who's word is alive, active and still moving in the hearts of men (and women!). Yes, His Word is complete. But because it is also alive...He uses it in various applications at different times in our lives. Today...He wanted me to read the whole chapter. I now encourage you to do so as well...Habakkuk 2

Now, I grew up in a church and I'm 43 years old. I probably have, but I don't ever remember, hearing a sermon that was built around Habakkuk. (Mental note: this is probably the next book for a personal inductive study). If you clicked on the link and did read the chapter...what do you see, hear or even feel? What are the emotions that come up? I know this was written to the nation of Israel...but we are told that "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9) Does the nation that Habakkuk is describing sound familiar?

Please don't put me on some government watch list...I'm not subversive or unpatriotic by any means...but can we grow up, face our flaws and admit that we are a nation that 'does not stay at home (not houses but our own territory) and enlarges our appetites like Sheol' (Hebrew word for underworld or abode of the dead)? In verse 6 do we not make ourselves "rich with loans?" (both personal and as a nation) What is the warning in verse 7? Yikes! Actually, verses 7 through 13 downright scare me when I think that this could be us.

But in verse 14 comes the most amazing promise:
"For the earth will be filled
With the knowledge of the glory (His true character) of the LORD,
As the waters cover the sea."

No matter how far we stray as a people, from the creation that He designated us to be...the knowledge of who God really, truly is will still fill the earth just like the waters that cover the sea. That's a lot of cover! Praise Him!

Go on and read the rest of the chapter...it's not a pretty picture. The "cup" in verse 16 is the cup of God's wrath that "will come around to you". Verse 18...there are so many idols we as a people worship that we can't even begin to count them (even in the church...yeah, get your toes back...we're all getting stepped on here!) And He reminds us that those idols that have been fashioned by our own hands are hollow and void. But what isn't? That's right (verse 20)...'just hush...because the LORD is in His holy temple.' Smile loved one...because if you are a Jesus follower "Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" (I Corinthians 3:16, emphasis mine)

If that doesn't get your heart a-pumpin' go back and read it again!

When the whole earth is crumbling all around us...when everyone we know is being weighted down by the evil that is trying so desperately to overtake us...when everyone around us is struggling with one or more idols...when we live in a culture that is so twisted by its idols that they infiltrate our very churches...when someday God's cup of wrath will be poured out on the nations (if you don't believe this, read the back of the Book!)...just HUSH...because the Ineffable One...the One that we are so puny compared to, we can't even get what to call Him into a word...yes, that One...is still in His holy temple...you!!!

What am I supposed to do in the waiting? Where am I supposed to turn while so many are in pain and distress around me?

"I will stand on my guard post
And station myself on the rampart;
And I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me,
And how I may reply when I am reproved." (Habakkuk 2:1)

OH! Praise His Name! He is SO good to us...too good, in fact! All we have to do is stand on guard...wait for Him on the walls...keep vigilant watch...wait to see what He will speak to us...and He will teach us even how to reply when we are gently corrected.

What a deal! What a God! I know I am belaboring the point...but WOW...the whole entire world as we know it can be crumbling around us and He just asks that we stand on guard, to be alert and watch for Him...and listen to Him. When we do...we can be absolutely confident that God is in "the house"!

I don't think my heart is quite as heavy now!

Amen!

I Have a Confession...

I am a grumbler!

Now, to those of you that know me...this is no great revelation. But I am so thankful and grateful to a God who knows our flaws, reveals them to us and patiently waits for us to be confronted with His awesome Truth so we can get about the business of ridding our lives of these flaws that do not reflect Him.

Such was my morning today. Although I've known for years, if not decades, that this is one of my greatest flaws, I have often felt helpless to change this very deep-rooted issue. I mean it's so deep that it goes back three generations before me that I know of...possibly more. I've always known that being critical is one of my biggest hangups and that it can very easily manifest itself as depression, negativity, pessimism,  dissension, strife, gossip and anger. And while God has patiently and lovingly worked on each of these areas in my life, I became distinctly aware this morning just how pervasive my grumbling is. I even confessed to God that to cut this out of my life will be like losing a close relative. I know warped, right?

I kept thinking all of the nitpicking & fighting that my kids do has got to stop...and it does...but yesterday and today, I came face to face with how I am the root of this whole issue. My grumbling, my ranting, my negativity paints a picture for my family that they mold themselves into. And while I may be completely justified in most of my criticism, it makes everyone else in our family look through lenses of doubt, criticism and negativity...and that is not how God wants us to live.

So this was the revelation for today and why I believe Holy Spirit has brought me to the final crossroads on this issue. From this point forward, I cannot deny the Truth, I cannot pretend I do not know. No...today, I have to choose to walk in the Light of His Truth or stand in direct disobedience to Him (yes, sin!). And as I fervently prayed this morning, "Lord, I want to be a doer of the Word...not just a hearer. Give me a teachable spirit because I don't want to continue living this way."

In Jesus Calling, I read: "You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent. Though you have faltered at times, you have not let go of My hand. I am pleased with your desire to stay close to Me. There is one thing, however, that displeases Me: your tendency to complain. You may talk to Me as much as you like about the difficulty of the path we are following. I understand better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you. You can ventilate safely to Me, because talking with Me tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective.

Complaining to others is another matter altogether. It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage. Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out. As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart." (I've underlined the portions that hit me square between the eyes.)

Yes...I do want to have His thoughts in my mind and His song in my heart! And I want my kids to quit grumbling...so it has to start with me, right? Right!

Just so neither I, nor anyone else can say that the passage above is merely a woman's rambling thoughts, I love that the author puts Scripture references on each page. Today's were exactly the ones with which I needed to be confronted. Jeremiah 31:25 "For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." and Philippians 2:14-15 "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."

In my Bible, the Jeremiah passage has a cross reference to Jeremiah 31:12-14 which says God's bounty will make me radiant, my soul will have abundance and I can be satisfied with God's goodness. So each day, as I'm looking at what we have (or don't have), I need to talk to God about my concerns, frustrations, etc. and He "tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective." (Jesus Calling) From God's perspective, I have enough for today. Amen!

The Philippians passage had a cross reference to 1 Corinthians 10:10 which is referring to the Israelites and how their grumbling caused the destroyer to destroy them. Yikes! There have been days recently when I feel like our family is being destroyed by the grumbling and complaining. And where have they learned it? Who has set the standard? Yep...it's me!

And a direct reference to being a child of God is Ephesians 5:1, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children..." To imitate God and demonstrate myself as His child means to give up the grumbling right? Of course! What is the result? “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; ¹⁵ nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ¹⁶ Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

There it is. I've even experienced recently the pure shock at being confronted with another critical person at my tax prep classes. I came away from that experience realizing just how much God has changed me already. But now it's time to go even deeper...so that the ones who know me best and see me the most recognize the difference of the Holy Spirit in my life...particularly in the area of grumbling and complaining.

Now our church is all about making yourself accountable to someone when there's an area in your life where you want to grow and change. So today, I sat down with the four people who know me best and know my worst. These four have put up with a lot from me over the course of their young lives...and yet, they love me still. So who better to hold me accountable than my kids.

I realize I've set myself up to be corrected by my children...and I've asked them to do it in a kind, loving way...but even if they harshly reprimand me when I grumble, I pray that as I'm humbled by the reminder, I will remain thankful to a God who knows my every flaw and yet doesn't grumble against me. I pray that as Holy Spirit changes me,  my children will sense the change and the prevailing attitude of criticism to each other is healed. But most of all, I just pray that I become such a good imitator of God that no one doubts I am His child.

A Gentle Reminder for Me

It's taken me two days to work through a one day lesson in Living Beyond Yourself. And it's been God's gentle reminder to me, right when I need it. His little love notes of assurance continue to strengthen my faith exactly at the right time.

"We live in a culture motivated by one major goal-- a little more. We work too hard and make too little. We have more than enough to live complicated lives, but less than enough to be contented." Isn't it interesting (or maybe just plain amazing!) that Beth Moore puts into words about 7 years ago precisely what I've been learning over the last 2 1/2 years? Coincidence? I think not!

God is calling each of us to this place of surrendering everything...absolutely everything. And what I'm sensing over and over again is this undercurrent in our American churches that there just has to be more than what we've allowed ourselves to believe. Books being written by Francis Chan, David Platt, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Rich Stearns and others; entire churches going through books like Crazy Love, Radical and studies in James and Philippians that are making them call into question exactly where their priorities (and thus, money) should be placed; as well as, the discontent that I hear, see and read in so many lives that just know there has to be more to this life, makes me ask, "God what are You doing? This is not random...I know! You are creating a groundswell of Your people that desire above all else to be sold out and surrendered to You and You alone. What amazing things do You have planned?"

I know I'm going to offend some people here, but capitalism is NOT the teaching of Jesus. I watched a documentary a few months ago from a very liberal filmmaker in which he interviewed a few priests about this question..."Is capitalism Christian?" Without hesitation the priest, the bishop and the archbishop each said "No!" 'And in fact, it's often the exact opposite,' they added.

Have we allowed ourselves to confuse capitalism with democracy? Capitalism is a grasping for more...the opposite of what Jesus lived and taught. While democracy is freedom. Obviously, democracy is much more in tune with what Jesus offered us...possibly that's why so many nations fight and die for it!? And maybe God's creating a discontentment with chasing after "things" in His people so that we'll shake it off and get angry enough with the evil and injustice in the world to stand up and say "Enough! No matter the cost, no matter the pain, no matter the shame, I will serve the LORD!"

These past two days, Beth Moore's study guided me to Ecclesiastes, a book written by King Solomon and it's not a pretty picture of a rich man's reflections. As Dale said last night, Christian financial gurus like to quote all of the cute little phrases from Proverbs about how amassing wealth is wise and only the foolish live for the day...but these "gurus" don't often quote the reflective Solomon that in his old age said things like,

(Okay, I just have to insert the irony here that my iPod just randomly started playing, "Money, Money, Money", the Abba song from Mama Mia. Ha! Father, You have a great sense of humor!!!)

"Meaningless! Meaningless!
Says the Teacher (Solomon)
Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless!" (Ecc. 1:2)

"I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." (Ecc. 1:14)

"Then I hated all my labor in which I had toiled under the sun, because I must leave it to the man who will come after me. And who knows whether he will be wise or a fool?" (Ecc. 2:18-19a)

"The sleep of a laboring man is sweet,
Whether he eats little or much;
But the abundance of the rich will not permit him to sleep.

There is severe evil which I have seen under the sun;
Riches kept for their owner to his hurt.
But those riches perish through misfortune;
When he begets a son, there is nothing in his hand.
As he came from his mother's womb, naked shall he return,
To go as he came;
And he shall take nothing from his labor
Which he may carry away in his hand." (Ecc. 5:12-15)

As I read the beginning of this chapter 5 passage to Dale last night, he said, 'I can verify that (about sweet sleep). Since I've left Fifth Third, I've probably only had five to ten nights that I had trouble sleeping. When I was at Fifth Third, I lost a lot of sleep.'

How can a couple that doesn't know where the rent money will come from have sweet sleep? Only when we believe God at His Word!

But even back in Proverbs, King Solomon said this,

"Better is a little with the fear of the LORD,
Thank great treasure with trouble.
Better is a dinner of vegetables where love is,
Than a fatted calf with hatred." (Prov. 15:16-17)

You better believe I just put verse 17 on our dining area white board...one MORE proof to my kids that vegetarianism or veganism is the way to go! Hah!

But seriously, if you just look at this without strict application to dietary guidelines, I WAS for years feeding my children with the "fat of the calf" yet instilling in them bitterness and hatred and even a compulsion to have more. When we began to have little or in this verse, "vegetables" I can truly say there is MUCH more love in our home! I'm not focused on taking care of "stuff" as much as I used to be...which frees up more energy just to be a wife, mother and child of God.

A dear friend said to me last summer when we were trying to get rid of the garage space we were renting "Just the mental energy it takes to keep track of all that stuff is exhausting!" And she was right. How many times have a yelled at my kids over the years for not taking care of their "stuff"? When really, isn't taking care of our souls, hearts and minds for God MUCH more important??

At the end of this lesson, I read an amazing passage in I Timothy 6:6-10: "6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced temselves through with many sorrows."

Now, I have heard verse 10 discussed many times. And Christians are always quick to point out that it's the "love of money" not the money itself that is the root of all kinds of evil. I guess I'd first point out that I don't think I've EVER heard this verse taught in the context of the preceding four verses, but, I also take issue with this theory. While grammatically, it's a true statement, I've never known anyone that struggled with the "love" of money, unless they had too much of it to spare. And believe me, this is directed back at myself too!!

I really don't know that many very wealthy people...but I know a whole lot of people that have way more than enough.

And what does Paul say in verse 8? "And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content." Even in our economically depressed circumstances, I can't honestly say that this is true for me. I notice he didn't include a home (or even shelter!) in this statement. Could that be because Paul knew God would provide a place with fellow believers for him to sleep or it just wasn't a priority? After all, if the "Son of Man has no place to lay His head" (Luke 9:58) as a follower of the Son of Man, why would Paul expect any differently?? Yes, this IS a scary thought for a mother with four children and truthfully, I'm still struggling with the thought that it IS possible to sink even lower than we already have.

In the meantime, as long as God allows, we will continue to endeavor to give out of the little bit of abundance that we have. For this week, it's buying some items for a Alabama Tornado Disaster Relief that our church is doing. Wow! Just when I think my situation is pitiable, I see others with even less than we have. We really are blessed, aren't we?

And Beth Moore concludes the day with these words of promise and hope: "He knows our needs. He knows our vulnerabilities. He knows what we can endure...yet remain faithful. All things are His to give and His to take, but never ours to pursue. Our is to gladly recieve and gladly return."

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34)
Amen!

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