My Injustice

I've started working through Kelly Minter's study, What Love Is: The Letters of 1, 2, 3 John (Living Room) So far, I really like what I'm studying. But today, a commonly quoted verse brought me to tears as the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and opened my Kingdom eyes.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9, NASB)

You don't have to be a Christian very long before you hear this verse. In fact, if you had someone walk you through any step-by-step proselytizing format (like those used by Campus Crusade, Youth For Christ, YWAM, etc.) you probably recognize it as one of the scriptures used to illustrate that in order to receive salvation, one thing you need to do is "confess your sins".

You'll also notice that I put the letters NASB after the reference. That's because I use the New American Standard Bible. If you've known this verse, you probably stumbled over the word "righteous", just like I did. That's because most of us memorized, or have heard quoted a gazillion times, the word "just" there, as used in the NIV (New International Version).

This morning, when I saw the "righteous", but my brain slid in the word "just", something transforming happened for me. Holy Spirit nudged, "Now if just and righteous are interchangeable...do it again." What did He mean? Look at the last word of the verse and this is what I read:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all un-just-ness.

Now...you and I both know that "unjustness" isn't a word...but injustice is.

Injustice.

The kind of thing that keeps people enslaved to give me coffee or sugar.
The kind that allows me to spend $2 for an iced tea when a single mom in Asia only has that amount to feed her five children for an entire day.
The kind of thing that keeps one race feeling "less than" my race.
The kind that turns Christians ugly and mean when other people don't live up to their code of conduct.
The kind of evil that opens up gunfire in a church.
The kind that drives millions from their homes while we look on from afar.
The kind that allows people to live on top of a garbage dump.

I can actually go on. But I won't. You get the point, I hope.

We are surrounded by injustice. And often I am extremely self-righteous about it. [Notice the "self" part of that.]

When I back up in I John 1:9, I'm reminded that only God is righteous. Only God is just.

Ever since I was a small child, I've had this profound sense of "fairness". As a middle child, I have always wanted everything to be fair and equal. It isn't. And when it's not, I get downright angry. But there's one more big word in this verse. It's a word God's Spirit has been growing in me for a few years now. It's a word that I've shared the meaning of with anyone who will listen.

Faithful.

What does faithful mean? This isn't a technical definition, but as I studied this word a few years ago, I became aware that it essentially can be explained as this: God's faithfulness is God's really-real-reality.

You see, it doesn't matter what I say is real. It doesn't matter what our culture, government, family, school, neighbor, boss, friend, co-worker, coach or the rest of the world says is real. Everything goes back to God's reality.

His.

Not mine.

And His really-real-reality is that He is just...He is righteous...and when I admit honestly that every inclination in my heart is evil (Genesis 8:21)...only then can He begin to cleanse me of the injustice that lurks in my heart.

My heart.

No one else's.

I don't confess my sins so that someone else will be cured of their alcoholism, or convicted of their adultery. I don't admit my shortcomings so that the world will sanctify my point of view.

No.

I throw myself on the mercy seat of Jesus' blood, because a just and real God wants to purge me of my injustice. He's ready to cast out my judgmental ways, my critical spirit, my arrogant pride and anything else in this mortal, flawed shell that feels somehow I deserve better treatment than a leper in Calcutta, a slave in Indonesia or a pedophile in Wyoming (yes...I went there. I am no better than even him!)

So, I hope you'll forgive me if I haven't "taken a stand" or "voiced my outrage" or "shared my concern"...I'm too busy pleading with my Maker to clean me up and create in me a pure heart.

Like His.

What a Ride!

Yesterday, I celebrated 19 years married to the same man. Because I run in mostly Christian circles, this doesn't always seem like a great feat to me. I know though that realistically, both inside and outside the Body of Christ, this far exceeds the "norm".

I would also like to quickly point out that I humbly take none of the credit. Were it not for God's mercy and grace, we wouldn't have gotten this far. And I told Dale last night, "If Jesus doesn't come back, maybe we'll be given 19 more."

I wrote this on my Facebook wall yesterday: "Happy Anniversary Dale Barthauer! Thankful that you joined me on this roller coaster ride 19 years ago." And I meant it!

I wasn't just trying to be cute or come up with something original. Actually, it's not original at all.

I once heard a speaker say that he thought that every valuable life lesson could be taught from the movie "City Slickers". For me, that movie is "Parenthood", starring Steve Martin. And though it's been more than a decade since I last saw it, one of the most profound lessons I've ever learned comes from the grandmother of the family, played by Helen Shaw.

[I hope this clip plays. If the link doesn't work, definitely go to Youtube to watch it.]

Here's what I knew within the first two years of this leg of the Journey together...we were in for the ride of a lifetime! Looking back at this juncture...I wouldn't trade one hill or one valley!

Every once in awhile, I feel compelled to make a "master list" of all that we've been through: loss, death of loved ones, financial distress, job changes or losses, family tragedy, church family difficulties and on and on and on. I don't do this to somehow dwell on the negative. Once I write the list in my then-current journal, I put it away and don't look at it again. I feel comforted by God's Spirit that He leads me to do this because some day, when I've shed this mortal shell, my prayer is that my spouse, my kids or my grandkids or even perfect strangers will stumble upon it and be encouraged to read the factual documentation that God is good and He will always be on the roller coaster with you.

When Dale and I each posted our "Happy Anniversary" to each other we received several dozen "likes" and comments congratulating us. But one friend I think understood my perspective...because she added, "Keep your hands and feet in the car at all times." I would be lying if I didn't admit that I've wished numerous times that I could have just a little merry-go-round fun, (see YouTube clip above) if only for a little while.

But the Holy Spirit has led and pled with me, especially in the last three years, that I need to know and remain confident that when I say these crazy things like, "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." (see Joshua 24:15) and 'No matter what, I'm going to cling to Him,' or 'Though the world may pass away, I will serve the Lord,' (see I John 2:17)...I've already bought my ticket and found my front row seat for the loops and spins, heights and depths...I might as well let go and throw up my hands too.

And sometimes...just a very few sometimes...He'll allow me enough inertia, enough speed and just the right amount of wind that I'm even lifted off my seat and allowed the privilege to feel like I'm flying.

The Law of Liberty

In James' style of recurring themes and words, there is a phrase (or some variant of it) that keeps coming up..."the law of liberty" (see James 1:25). Elsewhere, it's also called "the perfect law" (also James 1:25), "the royal law" (see James 2:8). If you actually clicked on James 2:8, then you'll find out exactly what this "law" that is royal, perfect and full of liberty is..."You shall love your neighbor as yourself". In fact, James goes on to say that if you are fulfilling this law, "you are doing well."

I long to do well...don't you? In my heart of hearts I want to please my Abba and become more like Him. Isn't that essentially what following the Law of the Old Testament was all about? To become a godly people set apart from the rest of the world. Later when Jesus walked this earth, He was asked, 'What is the most important commandment of the law?' (see Matthew 22:35-40) Jesus said the whole law and even what the prophets had taught could be summed up by two commandments: 1. Love God with everything that is within you and 2. Love your neighbor just like you love yourself. What I just caught in this passage in Matthew is a phrase I've heard every time I've read it. Jesus says the second commandment is like the first.

Having recently seen Les Miserables, I'm quickly reminded of the line, "To love another person is to see the face of God." I think there is profound truth in this. In fact, am I being too simplistic to say that this may be the only Truth there is? If God is Love (see I John 4:7) and Jesus out of His deep, deep love died for us (see John 3:16) and He taught that any drink shared, food or clothing given, sick or imprisoned person visited was exactly like doing it to Him (see Matthew 25:35-40)...how could we expect anything less than to see the face of God?

I notice two more things about James' attention to this "law":

1. It is foundational to everything else in this book that bears his name. This is sort of why I'm defining it here. Upcoming posts regarding James may not make much sense unless we have a basic understanding that James filters everything through the command to "Love your neighbor as yourself". 
2. He doesn't mention what Jesus said was the first and greatest commandment.

I by no means think James is circumventing the teaching of Jesus and somehow elevating loving our neighbors above loving God. No, I choose to believe that the man who was challenging the Jewish Christian recipients of his letter wanted them to set aside themselves for the sake of others. After all, this same man whose half-brother had been nailed to a cross because of His perfect love for humanity would probably be the first to know that loving your neighbor as yourself is absolutely impossible if you don't "Love the LORD your God with all your heart, and will all your soul, and with all your mind." (Matthew 25:37)

I'm not a New Years' resolution-type person, but I do have some goals I believe God's Spirit has laid upon my heart to work on...and it all starts here...in James...being reminded that the intertwining of my faith with my works is inseparable in the eyes of God. I absolutely cannot confess a faith in God without hands that are willing to serve, feet that are willing to go and expressions of love I am willing to speak and a willingness to die to myself so that my neighbor (a.k.a. my fellow man) can know they are loved as much as I love myself.

Amen!

"All We Need is..."

Love!

Right?

It's exactly what I've needed the last week or so...and it's exactly what my Abba has been pouring out on me! It may sound very melodramatic, but the feeling has been like water being poured out onto a dry and weary land. The odd thing is, I didn't even realize how parched I was.

For several weeks I've been thinking that I should pick up Repenting of Religion by Gregory Boyd and read it again. It's been at least five years since I read it. I remembered it being good at the time and speaking directly to many issues in our life...but I couldn't quite get my head around why I should pick it up again now.

Finally I did...and my soul has been drinking it in...gulping is probably the more appropriate word. From the first day, I wanted to blog about it but have been hesitant because I really don't think I can do justice to the book without copying large portions of it here and I really do want to honor copyright law. So bear with me as a share (possibly over the next several days) the lessons I'm learning or being reminded of...because they are too amazing to not share them!

I guess I could sum up the whole book with the Beatles song title that I quoted in the title of this blog...but honestly, that's a bit simplistic. God's Love is simple, but in our culture we have to be very specific to understand what this Love is not: It's not phileo (brotherly love), eros (sexual love/passion) or storge (affection for a thing). Rather it is agape, an unconditional, never-changing, all-consuming love that is only perfectly fulfilled by God in the life of Jesus the Messiah.

I John 4:8, 16 tell us that God is Love! That's where we begin...and what an awesome place to start! Boyd quotes Peter Kreeft: "Love is God's essence. Nowhere else does Scripture express God's essence in this way. Scripture says God is just and merciful, but it does not say that God is justice or mercy itself. It does say that God is love, not just a lover. Love is God's very essence. Everything else is a manifestation of this essence to us, a relationship between this essence and us. This is the absolute, everything else is relative to it." (Knowing the Truth About God's Love: The One Thing We Can't Live Without)

God's very essence...I like that. Better yet, I've experienced that...and it's great to be reminded of it! In fact, as I've read through these 50 or so pages, I've been reminded a lot of a former pastor we were blessed to have. Weekly he spoke of God's Love and how we are all "loved, accepted and forgiven" and to be honest, there were some people that didn't like to hear that so often. That makes them sound harsh or somehow bad...and that's not what I mean at all. I think they just got tripped up by arguments like Paul's in Romans 6:1 "Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound?" And that couldn't be further from what was being taught in our church. Paul's reply is actually pretty strong, "By no means!" The Cottonpatch Gospel paraphrases with a very southern, "Hell no!" (Sorry if that offends...but for me, it perfectly fits!)

Boyd says, "Whenever the grace of God is preached uncompromisingly, we should expect people who have a fleshly mind to have this misunderstanding (Rom 8:6-7; I Cor 2:14). But it is a misunderstanding!" But I tell you what...every week when I left those services, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was loved...with an unsurpassable, unconditional, unfathomable Love like I would never experience apart from a relationship with my Abba. This was at a time in my life when I absolutely needed to know this...unequivocally...and I was blessed to have a pastor telling me (and hundreds of others) this message almost weekly. Not by coincidence, we came into possession of Boyd's book because he gave it to Dale.

All these years later, I'm at a different place emotionally, spiritually and even physically. Yet, God's love remains the same. But, there are parts of this book that I feel like I'm reading for the first time and I am soaking it up...I guess I'm at a place where I absolutely need to know the Love of God again...and I think I know why He's brought me back to this book at this time.

The message that has really impacted me, I don't even remember reading before. It's so deeply meaningful that I think I must have just missed it completely the first time. I'll do my best to put it into words...mostly Boyd's words though.

When Jesus died on the cross, He ascribed unsurpassable worth to me, to you, to everyone. And because He participates in the Triune relationship with God and the Holy Spirit, they too, ascribed unsurpassable worth to us. Since I have believed (put my trust with) Jesus, I am in Christ. Paul says, we no longer live, but Christ lives in us (Galatians 2:20). Because of this...I too participate in the Love of the Father, through Jesus.

Then here's what's been sinking in and I've been delighting in: As we allow this Love to transform our hearts, our minds and our very lives...we become confident of who we are in Christ. I am loved by the very God of the universe...so it doesn't matter what someone else may think of me. I become assured of my standing before God and it completely revolutionizes who I am...and how I love.

The subtitle to this book is "Turning from Judgment to the Love of God" and as we embrace His Love...open up every part of our lives to His perfect Love...we can't help but want to live out this Love with others. Jesus told us the two greatest commandments were to love God with all of our self and to love others as we love ourselves. As Boyd puts it, He was banking everything on Love. Because of this, we shouldn't be asking ourselves if we've conquered a particular sin in our life, if we have the best facility or programs or even if we're growing our churches exponentially...miracles don't even matter. The one "measuring rod", so to speak, that we can even consider using is "Are we growing in our capacity to love all people?"

So when you look at my life, if you're judging me by any other standard, you are not judging according to God's commandments. Simply ask, "Is she growing in her capacity to love all people?"

I'm still formulating this all in my mind...still chewing on it...asking God to put this all together for me to understand with His discernment, not my own, but the conviction that Chan, Platt, Stearns and others share in their books regarding saving the lost and dying world is valid...for the most part, we in the American church are not reaching out to those all over the world who have not even heard the name of Jesus let alone been helped to understand the healing power of His Love.

Is it too great of leap to say that it may be because we haven't opened up our own lives to the power of His Love? If I truly believe that God, through the life and death of Jesus Christ ascribed unsurpassable worth to my life and allows me to participate in His Love, why wouldn't I want to shout that out to the whole world?

There is a direct correlation to the increase in Love I have opened myself up to and how much more I'm noticing the need for Love in others. For months I've been saying it's God replacing my desires with His. Well at it's most basic, His desire is to Love all...so it should  be my desire too, right?

While I admire David Platt, Francis Chan and the many others that have been challenging me to get outside of my own egocentricity, I'm beginning to see that maybe we simply need to start with proclaiming God's Love. Once we grasp that...even while still in the process of grasping it...as we're filled to overflowing with this boundless Love of God...we won't be able to stop ourselves from proclaiming it to anyone who will listen.

Just in case I wasn't catching on to what He was trying to say, He brought me back to this passage in Psalm 119:29-32.

Remove the false way from me,
And graciously grant me Your law.
I have chosen the faithful way;
I have placed Your ordinances before me.
I cling to Your testimonies;
O LORD, do not put me to shame!
I shall run the way of Your commandments,
For You will enlarge my heart.

When the false love that this world offers is removed and I place His ordinances, before me and I choose His faithful (His really real reality) Way...running in His commandments to love Him with everything in me and to love everyone else as I love myself...what will He do? He will enlarge my heart.

That's why He brought me back to this book at this time. He wanted to remind me of His Love because there is a whole world out there that needs desperately to know it too! Amen!

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