Hittin' the Road for the Big 1-3!

Tomorrow, our third child becomes a teen. (If you're counting, that makes three teens in one home!) Rebekah is a highly intelligent, witty, practical, logical person and creative writer. Yep...She's my kid. Although her voracious reading more accurately reflects her father. I can't wait to see how God grows her over the next few years. In the meantime, I have to continually remind myself "She's only______.(insert age)" And I've had to do this since she was 10.

That's the age when she started looking, acting and logically processing like a child almost two times her age. That is not an exaggeration. She, more than any of our other children, is fiercely independent, seemingly comfortable in her own skin and refuses to adapt her choices or tastes to the people around her. She is not a people pleaser. I take no credit for that one. It is God-given because neither Dale nor myself could make the same claim.

But she also loves to have fun. She will play any game, with any one, at any time. I'll warn you though, don't play Scrabble with her unless you want to lose. Yes, she's the kid who looks up words on dictionary.com for fun. She's also been writing a book for over a year now and when I read it, I'm amazed at the level of maturity her writing possesses.

The road trip we're taking is in honor of her big day tomorrow. When our oldest reached this milestone almost five years ago, we had more money available to us, so she and I did something she loved. We flew to Disney World and spent a few days of just she and I bonding together. It was an idea I felt was given me by the Holy Spirit and it became for me a pivotal time of healing and growth in my relationship with her up to that point.

Well...when you have four kids...you know they will all want things to be "fair". Problem was, when Noah's day came around two years ago we were at our financially lowest point. Bless his heart though...he didn't want Disney....he wanted Skillet. Kings Island's Spirit Song festival to be exact. Skillet was one headline group, so he and Dale (with the help of some tax money) were able to spend two days bonding over roller coasters and Christian music. They still love both and I am blessed to sit back and watch as two men, who sometimes don't know what to say to each other can always find common ground around Skillet and groups like them.

Which now leads us to Bekah. When you're the third child, it's rare that you get to do something that the others haven't. I'm not sure that over 30 hours alone in a rental car with your mom ranks high on her list, but when you're the one that gets most overlooked, that's the part I will enjoy the most. We're going to Sea World one day and Cocoa Beach another (both Barthauer family firsts) and she and I are meeting our dear friends Della and Jennifer Miller at Downtown Disney too. She chose the Millers over a day at Magic Kingdom! That's how much loyal relationship means to Bekah.

We've been saving my money from babysitting all summer and now that it's here, we're both uber-excited. But while we're having fun and drinking Starbucks for the long drive and having breakfast with Lilo and Stitch, without any prior agenda as to what we'll discuss, I know God will use this as a foundational time for us to build upon for the sometimes turbulent teen years ahead.

When I made this journey with Abbey, I realized that many mothers in this world would be preparing their 13 year old daughters for marriage. I look at these right-of-passage trips as very similar. I may not be grooming them for a man, but they are now heading toward adulthood and I delight in the blessing of preparing them for their Groom who will always love them with a greater love than I could ever imagine.

I Am Sad. I Am Sad. I Am Sad.

If you say it three times, people know you mean it, right? So why the sadness?

Am I really the only person that when a few months ago the U.S. came out in support of one side and Russia came out in favor of the opposition and both started supplying their respective sides in this Syrian mess...thought, "Oh, crap...this is the next place we're going in!"??? Did no one else see the proverbial handwriting on the wall?

We are supposed to be pulling out of other places where we've been far too long, so we have to find another, right? And what better place than a powder keg that's ready to explode? Iran has already warned the world that this entire region has a shaky peace at best and that we all need to stay out before it implodes. I would like to point out that they have made that warning to all...not just the U.S.

And yet, here we are once again throwing our weight around...telling the world we're ready to strike...and we're not listening to the U.N.saying, "Let the inspectors at least finish their job." Meanwhile, Russia is sending two warships to the Mediterranean Sea. Anyone else out there concerned by this?

While I am grieved at over 100,000 Syrians killed in the last two years and about 2 million forced from their homes into refugee camps and the chemical weapons being used...what will us dropping bombs accomplish? Don't we risk killing more innocent people...like the over 1 million Iraqis that have died at the hands of the U.S.? I know, I know...you can choose to naively believe that your government will only target military arsenals for dropping bombs. Anyone old enough to remember Bill Clinton and the Sudanese aspirin factory bombing? Are we just supposed to say, "Oops...my bad...sorry for blowing up the your source of pain relief when our intel told us you where making chemical weapons."

Have we truly not learned from Iraq and Afghanistan that the police can come in and dictate how you're supposed to live, but if the family in the domestic dispute don't want a better, more peaceful life...no amount of force will change the overall outcome? And just exactly who are we to tell them what "a better life" entails? The arrogance to presume that everyone is miserable if they don't exactly mirror the white man's world is repugnant at best.

I used to reserve my comments like these for private conversations from fear of being placed on some government watch list as subversive. I also used to tell myself I was being a paranoid conspiracy theorist. [Can anyone say Edward Snowden?] So yes, I am taking a risk by publicly asking us to take a step back and think about what we're doing.

But the bigger risk is in the Christian circles I rub elbows with. To proclaim the peacemaking of the Kingdom of God over the patriotism of the U.S. is tantamount to heresy in some hearts and minds. Here again, I've already been deemed a dreaded "Liberal" by the conservatives and a narrow-minded "Conservative" by liberals. So really...do I have anything to lose?

Well, actually I do have a lot to lose. You see, I have a son...a 15 year old son to be exact. And a few years ago as God was walking me through my biggest fears and teaching me to lay them at His feet, I had to reconcile myself that in my lifetime it is a very real possibility that compulsory service in the armed services will begin again. The day I first saw that momma collapse on her front porch in Saving Private Ryan, I knew that could one day be me. Even though my baby boy was only two months old when the movie was released, for the first time...I understood the sting of what mommas like her all over the world have felt when their little boys fight far from home in a war not of their own making.

And we're still losing sons and daughters in far off places that don't really want us there to "help" them. Is Syria yet one more? I really think some of us need to stop and look at the map and remind ourselves where it's located. Do you see the close proximity to Turkey, Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, Israel and the small leap over to Egypt. Yeah...Egypt...there's no instability there. Um, Turkey has seen better days too. Many of these countries are overwhelmed caring for the Syrian refugees. Are we prepared to support them and prop them up as their already tenuous resources are tapped by the inevitable influx of more?

So here's what it all comes down to: You have every right to disagree with me and believe that we should run swiftly to save the Syrian people. I am asking you to at least take a moment to stop and think about the consequences. That is something I didn't do with Afghanistan or Iraq and I deeply wish I had.

But for Christians, I am asking you to go one step further. Not only should we stop and think about the consequences, we are called to ask what Jesus (yes, God Incarnate) would say about warring nations. Surprisingly, we don't have to look very far. When Jesus began teaching, one of His first lessons was taught in what we have dubbed, The Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew 5:9 He simply stated, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God." 

You see, that's the other loss I don't want to experience...my "sonship" with God. If I am truly a child of the King, I cannot get around the fact that my Daddy (aka Abba) has told me that to be called His I must live as a peacemaker. God's Kingdom doesn't look like any on earth, yet Jesus told us the Kingdom was here AND not yet. My first allegiance is to Him and no matter how it may offend or perturb others, I am first and foremost to speak as a Daughter of the King.

So go ahead, call me Liberal or call me Conservative and I'll be honest to admit that not pleasing people is greatly disturbing to me. Worrying about what others think of me consumes too much of my time and energy. But I also recognize that God is striving to bring me to a place where no matter the outcome I must "Repent!" or turn away from, the thinking and teaching of this age and embrace the 'Kingdom that is at hand.' (see Matthew 3:2)

If you are a Jesus follower, I am imploring you when all of this brew-ha-ha is spinning and broiling and whirring about and you have to make a choice in the cloud of confusion on exactly which side of the fence you hope to land when the dust settles around our feet, ask yourself where Jesus said we should stand. Personally, I'm being drawn to the Peacemaker's Camp...there seems to be a lot of extra room there. Wanna join me?

A Good Steward

Steward is one of those words that people in the church throw around a lot but few outside the church even hear. Yet it's a concept that can be lived out no matter what part of the Journey you're on. Because we are all on a Journey whether we recognize it or not. I tell my kids often that the only difference between us and all other mammals is that we have the God-given ability to stop and think. When our lives are not just a series of knee-jerk, survivalist reactions, we can live the life God intended when He first thought of us.

The crux of being a good steward (as my finite brain sees it) is twofold:

• Acknowledge that everything belongs to God and I am just the "manager" of what He's given me. 
• Stop and think if I am using His resources in the most effectively responsible way that I can.

Simple, right?

In theory...Yes. In practice, not so much. 

We in the western world don't have a culture set up for "stop and think." In fact, our consumeristic, capitalistic economy is literally banking on the hope that we will be impulsive. Someone like me with ADD is very familiar with the sting of buyer's remorse. So I have had to give myself permission...and grace...to take this in baby steps. 

Buying locally grown food is great and supporting farmer's markets is awesome. I'll be honest...I don't remember to do it very often. I have no great reasoning behind this. I do remember to go berry picking sometimes. And I even made it to a farm for peaches. But we go through produce so fast around here that trekking out only to the farm is not realistic or even financially viable for us right now. I've chosen a third option...growing our own as much as possible. With this choice it was easier to find an economical, environmentally friendly seed company. And, an AMAZING young start up that donates an aquaponics system to a school when I buy one. 

I don't know that I can always buy Tom's Shoes, but when they donate a pair to a developing country with every pair they sell...I would be remiss if I didn't at least check into it when I need shoes. 

If I need a new purse, you better believe I'm going to try to find one from Stop Traffick Fashion. (They sell jewelry and t-shirts too.) Our co-op can no longer collect BoxTops for education, but I am still cutting them out because it just feels wrong to throw away ten cents that a school could use. I'll pass them on to someone that can use them. 

But the easiest way to live this steward-thing out happened again today. I've done it often enough that I don't even have to think about it now. When checking out at Gordon Food Service, I say, "I need to mention Lifeline Ministries." And, BOOM...Lifeline receives a donation. It really is that simple. If you don't live in Northern Kentucky, ask around. I'm certain there is a soup kitchen or a women's shelter in your area that can benefit from a portion of your purchases. 

This way of living initially may require a little extra effort. But just like me at GFS, eventually it becomes habit. It really takes no more effort to load up our unneeded stuff and drive it to Lifeline, where it is given freely to people who need it by an entirely volunteer staff...than the effort to drive it to Goodwill where bargain hunters snatch up great finds and minimum wage employees are worked hard...while the fat-cat CEO rakes in over 20 MILLION dollars a year. Please tell me you can appreciate the difference.

I've rambled long and I still have a long way to go in living this out. (Remember, baby steps!) I encourage you though, just like making small, life-long changes in what you eat or how you exercise...take the challenge to change one aspect of your buying habits. Whether it's resolving to never again use plastic shopping bags or only buying local lettuce...stop and think about how you can make the Journey a little more meaningful while you still have the chance.

Have You Seen This Yet? KLOUT

Okay...this social networking thing is completely getting out of hand. I recently signed up to blog about books for free copies of the books. I know...I know...something right up my proverbial alley. The company though, reserves select copies of their books for members that have a "KLOUT" score of 30 or more. Even more select copies are available to someone with a score of 60+.

What is KLOUT, you say? It's a social networking site that analyzes your social networking use. When I link my Facebook, Twitter, Google+ (also LinkedIn, Instagram and Foursquare, none of which I have) KLOUT analyzes your data to give you a score. Now, I recently had a birthday, so I received a lot of posts from people and I think my scores a little inflated because of that, but I had a score of 53.

Here's the problem I see that could be developing quickly: Depression onset by a low score. 

Just as the number of Facebook friends, likes or Twitter followers can make or break your perception of yourself, I foresee that this could become the bane of the low-self-esteemer's existence. Beth Moore puts Facebook into perspective in her study of the book of James and I think she is spot on that ignoring friend requests, withholding likes, etc. can be used as a form of power, manipulation and control. For someone that's a pleaser at heart (like myself) this can have huge consequences on your emotions.

Is it really that big of a leap toward people doing whatever it takes to up their KLOUT score? Maybe...maybe not. I have a Facebook friend that just posted an article yesterday about how SnapChat was originally developed as a venue for sexting. Ugh! Lots of encouragement abounds, mostly from stay-at-home Christian moms, to have us slow down, set down the electronics and stop and "smell the roses".

No matter your feelings on social media, iPhones, iPads, Kindles, computers...and on and on and on...my point is, maybe this is all getting a little out of hand. I speak for myself and my family when I say that I think it has. Last night we were excited to get a free Redbox rental (coupon for my birthday) and we opted to watch Warm Bodies again. Less than half-way into the movie, I had one daughter and one son each on an iPod messaging friends or whatever. Now, I can't judge them too harshly, because there are many times my youngest wants me to sit with her to watch something and I whip out the Kindle to check status updates, tweets or just to play a game.

I guess my point is this, God knew we were going to progress to this point in history and He knew most of us wouldn't be able to be hermits and keep ourselves completely untainted by the outside world...but when my media is dictating my feelings, emotions, priorities and energy expenses...it's probably time for me to step back and reevaluate how much and when it should be allowed to speak into my life. Letting God keep the scorecard of my influence is probably the best option...oh wait, He doesn't keep score.

Precisely!

The Mortal Instruments City of Bones

Last night, I took Abbey to see the movie that was highest on her version of a Summer Movie Wishlist. I have read City of Bones and a few of the other books in the series. I enjoyed reading them and was intrigued to see how the movie played out.

From the beginning, Abbey has been following the casting, production and promotion of this film. She's a TMI fangirl and has read all of the books available to date, including a spin-off series. From the first whispers of a film adaptation, she was on pins and needles at just whom would play Clary and Jace. She was sorely disappointed with the casting, yet held out hope for it translate well onto the screen.

While these books are very similar in their appeal as the Twilight series, I just don't think there's the same hysterical fan base to provide support for the equivalent of movie hype as Twilight had. None of our local theatres even provided a midnight showing. But trek out we did, with Rebekah in tow.

To be polite to my daughter, I chose to reserve my comments until after the showing. Let's just say I silently rolled my eyes more than a few times. "Cheesy" might be the best word. Just as Twilight felt flat to me compared to the book, Lily Collins and Jamie Campbell Bower, had about as much emotional range as Kristen Stewart's, Bella. But Bella was supposed to be slightly dull and boring (at least in her own mind). Clary and Jace are not. In fact, Jace is written as impulsive, daring and willing to risk/sacrifice all in the name of his call to fight evil. Yeah...this portrayal...not so much. I don't know whether to blame the script, the director or the actor. Maybe it was all three.

The conclusion of the film was about as flat (again, that word kept ringing in my head last night) as you could get. They also pulled elements of subsequent books in the series into this storyline. It really felt as if they were leaving the possibility of a sequel out there...but only half-heartedly. It seemed as if they were hedging their bets. "We'll throw in a couple of teasers, but if the movie tanks...we've told the gist of the story too," seemed to be the modus operandi.

I hate to completely pan a film. There were a few good moments and Jonathan Rhys Myers is pretty good in anything he does. CCH Pounder is a delight wherever she turns up! But to be honest I've yet to be wow-ed by either Collins or Bower in any of their prior films. I do have to add that the score, special effects and set design were pretty good...but they overwhelmed the film and stood out too much compared to the general "flat" emotional portrayals. I do remember thinking that Bower hit his stride about two-thirds of the way into the film...during some of the fight scenes...so I give him the deserved props for that. He's just a little too GQ-runway-model looking for the character though.

Overall, I'd give it a B- or C+ rating. I was entertained, but not engaged. I didn't "lose myself" in it like a great movie will do. Last night, I joked with Rebekah that she only came for the popcorn. She and I share that addiction and I think there are times we look for an excuse to go to a movie simply for the popcorn. So I told her that I should probably change my rating system to a "small bag", "medium bag", "large bag" or "get the jumbo bucket" comparison instead. Just for fun, I'll throw it out there...while this wasn't a total clunker, I'd say it was only worth a "medium bag" of popcorn.

Back to the Roots Aquaponics System

I am going to gush for a few moments, so you've been warned.

This company and this product are amazing! By that, I mean that if you like to grow your own food...you need to get one of these. If you're a homeschooler that wants to do a unit study on

1. Food production
2. Biology of plants
3. Biology of fish
4. Life skills of taking care of pet
5. Biology of bacteria
6. How fish poo feeds plants, or
7. How plants clean the water for fish

you need one of these too!

Do you sense my excitement yet?

Here's what has happened:

Back in June, our family visited The Simple Way in Philadelphia. One of the things I was most excited to see was their new aquaponics greenhouse. They had just hosted a workshop two weeks before we arrived but Dan from TSW graciously took some time out one day to give us a tour. The idea that an inner-city community could produce food from fish poo and give kids that rarely see grass a chance to taste fresh-off-the-vine tomatoes was something that my dreams are made of. And even though I sound melodramatic...I am not exaggerating. I have shared my patio gardening and the updated photos with you. This summer has also had me asking lots of questions about where I should focus my time and energy. Things like "What really gets me jazzed up and fuels me?" have been answered by two equally important ideas for me: I love to grow things and I love to share new ideas with people.

Now you understand the excitement, don't you?

My new aquaponics tank is both of these rolled into one!

I kept thinking I'd have to wait until we had a house someday to start one after the huge undertaking I saw in Philadelphia, but then a Facebook friend posted from a company she knows an indoor aquaponics system that was attractive...but not cheap. I couldn't even begin to approach the almost $400 price tag. Commercial systems range in the thousands!

So I literally googled "cheap aquaponics systems" and I was directed to Back to the Roots. This young start up has been selling grow your own mushroom kits for awhile and just launched their aquaponics tank this summer. For $59.99 this tank has everything you need except the fish to get started...and they even send you a $0.99 coupon for a fish at your local PetCo. With shipping (from California to Kentucky), I paid less than $75 for the whole system.

Oh...but wait...there's more! 

If you post a picture of your system up and running on their Facebook page, they will donate a system free to a school of your choosing. Read that again. It's just like Tom's Shoes. Buy one...and you're donating one. I haven't done this yet, because I want to find an urban school that would like to do this and then make the connection with Back To the Roots.

But here's how easy it is. I set the whole thing up in 1.5 hours...while I was making dinner too. Without that distraction, it probably would have taken about 45 minutes or so. I was concerned about water levels, because I just didn't see how it would work. I was wrong. In two days I had wheat grass sprouting, two days later, lettuce began to show up.

My water was cloudy for two days, but I knew this was because I probably didn't rinse the shale rocks enough. I didn't want to throw out all of the water and start again, so I took one of my Swiss Chard seedlings from outside, gently rinsed all of the dirt off of the roots, stuck it down in the rocks and in just a day and a half, the water was clear. 

We've named our new farming friend Ron...Ron Weasley to be exact, since he is a ginger and we are one Harry Potter crazy family. But I'm quickly becoming crazy about something more...growing our own food this winter inside. I've even been scheming how to rearrange our dining room to take advantage of a huge, full-sun window. My next step will be to make my own larger aquaponics system.

But for now, I'm content with Ron and his little garden. Check out the company. They will be launching in Whole Foods, Nordstrom and PetCo stores for the holidays. If you can help them out now by purchasing a system of your own, I'm sure they'd appreciate it. They included everything I needed as far as information in the kit and when I did have questions, found them readily accessible in their website's FAQ section...but the owners go so far as to send you their e-mail and phone numbers too because they want to work out any kinks before they go into stores. So far, I haven't found any kinks that need working out! 

Lee Daniels' The Butler

Abbey and I saw a pretty good movie Friday night. I love anything historical, and while this wasn't the best I've ever seen, the history of the Civil Rights Movement through the perspective of one family was a piece of the American puzzle I've never witnessed quite like this before.

Cecil Gaines served as a White House butler to every president from Eisenhower to Reagan. Just stop and think about the history he observed while working there. Integration of public schools, the Freedom Riders, voting rights, the assassinations of JFK, MLK, Jr. and RFK, Vietnam, Watergate and on and on and on. The film skims over the Ford and Carter years, so I thought there might have originally been a book, but after some research it seems the screenplay was based on The Washington Post article entitled, "A Butler Well Served by This Election". Too bad, I would have like to read a more in depth account.

And for me, that was the major flaw of the film. There are many solid performances like those of Forest Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Lenny Kravitz, and David Oyelowo but I kept feeling like there was too much content to cover, so each era was briefly touched upon. It was just enough to make me want more. Some of the presidential performances left me curiously wondering how they picked them. For instance, my beloved Professor Snape and Colonel Brandon (Alan Rickman) playing Ronald Reagan? James Marsden as JFK? But in the long run, they all worked out well. Liev Schreiber as LBJ was the stand out for me and I couldn't help but smile at the one-time demonized liberal Jane Fonda impressively playing Nancy Reagan.

So overall, I came away with a mixed rating. I give it a B+...but if it would have been an hour longer...I think I could have easily given it an A-. Whether you see it now or wait for Redbox, if you live in the U.S....see it. This is your history and the attitudes and devastation of the '60s still affect us to this day. Taking a few hours to understand the path that others have trod just might open up some compassion and mercy from the far reaches of your heart. A little more understanding never hurt anybody.

The First of the Lasts

I promise to try to keep it together until the end...but here goes...

Today our oldest started her last "first day" of school, at least as an enrollee of The Barthauer Academy. And today, she became a teacher. She's currently teaching her younger siblings Art History and for her first day, she did a phenomenal job...even assigning homework. They were all creating and talking and laughing...and I didn't have to supervise. In fact, I was politely asked to leave the room so as not to disturb the teacher's "ju-ju". [Ha! My word...not hers!]

But seriously, this entire year will be a series of lasts and oddly enough...I'm okay with that. For a few years now I've known that God has been preparing me for this. Our summer has been filled with weeks of Abbey working and even leaving town to stay with family, friends and participate in missions. I'm not one prone to visions but about a year and a half ago, I had a specific image implanted in my mind of one very proud momma putting her child on a plane (okay it could be a bus) sending her off into the big, wide world to serve the God who loves her more than I ever could.

And here's the rub...I sort of can't win no matter how I feel about this. I share with friends that I'm ready, but then I'm excited when she returns home from a trip. This is seen by many as my inability to let go. But I happen to have a personality that is okay "living in the tension" (what a friend calls living in the "gray"). This tension happens to be knowing, accepting and readily acknowledging that she is not mine to keep...and yet enjoying the moments when she's home.

I've known since Day Four of her life that she was not ours and that a God who saw fit to give her life twice must have had a pretty outstanding purpose for her. So over the next year or less, forgive me if I get a little teary now and then. Please don't read into this that I'm not ready to let go. Instead, try to understand that there's a heart that is swelling so big the extra fluid needs be squeezed through my tear ducts before I bust with pride. And how does she feel about this transitioning year? Last night on Facebook she posted the following:

"Tomorrow starts day 1 of my senior year of high school. This summer has definitely helped confirm that the passions I have in life are all pieces of one big puzzle God is fitting together for me. I was able to fall in love with three different cities, travel to a different country and help work with children in a spiritually deprived province, further my love for art, and get to know some awesome people that I will never forget. Here is to hoping this last year of school will lead me to greater things."

Yesterday was my birthday. I have to admit, that was the best present I could have ever received!
Amen!

I Dare You to Do This and...

not be humbled.

The folks over at A Heart for Korah posted a very eye-opening link on their Facebook page. It's called Global Rich List. It will ask you your location and then all you do is type in your annual income and it instantly evaluates your percentage of wealthiest people position. It also gives you the data in real number of people.

For instance, I put in our last year gross income and believe it or not, even with living 1.5 times below the poverty level for a family of 6 in the U.S., we were still in the top 1.10% of wealthiest people in the world.

Yikes!

That makes me about the 73.6 millionth richest person out of a world population of around 7 billion. Can you say the word shame? Not shame at what we have been blessed with...but my stupid whining at how little I have!

So I crunched a few numbers...just because I'm a little weird like that. Dale's had a lot of extra work this year, so our income has gone up considerably...still below poverty level, mind you. Yet, by my estimation we will have finished the year in the 0.51% or the 33.9 millionth richest person.

Oh yeah...you know I went further. I put in our income the last year that Dale worked in banking. Twice what we earned last year, but still only about $14,000 above poverty level for a family of 6. Here's the stats: 0.15% or about the 10 millionth richest person in the world. Can it be possible that that woman of five years ago actually thought she barely had enough to get by? Yes...double shame.

And then this is the last one...I promise...I put in $100,000. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a lot of money to me. But I know people that live in that pay range and even above. In fact, it's not that uncommon in the area where we live in Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati area. Here are the final figures. If you make $100,000 you are in the top 0.08% of the wealthiest people in the world! That also makes you about the 5 millionth richest person.

So here's the question that now has to be asked: If we are living as Red Letter Christians, and really, truly say we believe the teachings of Jesus...when He says, "From everyone who has been given much, much is required." (see Luke 12:48 in its context here) exactly to whom do we think He was talking? And what are we...myself at the forefront...going to do about it?

By the way...I lied when I said $100,000 was the last one. I want you to go over to Global Rich List right now and plug in your numbers. Then ask God what He wants you to do too.

Trying to Put into Words, What is Too Difficult to Speak

Last week I drove to a place I've never been
To meet someone I'd never met
His wisdom I sought
And he was gracious to agree

This place, not far from my beloved
River and Reds and Broadway shows
Was like nothing I've never seen

Boarded windows and empty lots
Broken sidewalks and lonely people
Everywhere I looked brokenness
Brokenness

How can this be so close to hospitals
World class universities, Christian academia,
Art museums and historic homes?

My anticipation of meeting was thick
Delightful interruptions through plate-glass viewing
Were welcome

Human behavior fascinates me
People watching, my favorite hobby
There's a young couple across the room
Probably from the university, visiting "the hood"
Probably cool, probably not intimate
Yet?

We're told to reduce, reuse, recycle
So why is the man in the dirty clothes
Stopping in the road to pick up
Something he can use, an oddity?

That woman in the low-fitting tank top,
Well-endowed with womanhood,
She's either more confident than most women I know
Or can't afford the luxury of a bra

I smile either way

It looks like everyone is going somewhere
And nowhere
But I am here
Beginning to get nervous about
Where the Spirit will lead this conversation

My breakfast partner arrives and is known in this place
I like him already
He knows our server well,
Hugs her tight,
And brings loud sunshine in the room

Introductions and explanations
Why Dale couldn't make it
Maybe next time

He asks my story
My story?

How do you summarize a lifetime of ups and downs?
This is not a chance to air dirty laundry
But a place to share a Journey
And what has brought us here

"The American Dream didn't work for us."

"And we're happy about that."

"Our eyes have been painfully opened
To a world of no American Dreams."

He asks probing questions

How did you get here?
When did it start?
Help me understand your story?
Why urban ministry?
What about your kids?
Do you have community?
No? Why not?
That sucks!

Now hang on and bare with me
Cause here's what I see...

You are not young enough, arrogant enough,
Nor rich enough to serve the Underclass
You are already working amid the Blue-collar Poor.
Why would you go a step lower?

The Blue-collar Poor are the most under-served in America
I know one church
Doing it right
I'll introduce you

Your kids?
Your kids don't stand a chance in streets like these
You'll lose them
They'll feel isolated
Why would you leave the class you already serve?

Single moms, latch-key kids,
Working-class neighbors
Getting Nickel and Dimed (Yeah...read that book!)
They need people like you
Loving and serving

But you need to join with others in community

It will be a small church
An old church
Families that have attended for generations
No dynamic preaching
Just a place to love Blue-collar Survivors

You could befriend polka dancers for all I care
It doesn't have to be a church,
Just join community
Somewhere

You've been hurt
You've lost your net
Look for a place to cast out a new one

I listen intently
And agree with solid truth
I wish everyone had a chance
For penetrating insight
Candid camaraderie
And affirmation of their survival

Mental note-
Affirm others in their survival skills

As we talk and listen
My heart becomes aware of heaviness
I'm as broken as that sidewalk out there
Why?

He speaks truth
I agree with his words
So why am I breaking?

He uses words like underclass and different species.
And I'm sad we've created a sub-level to this life

Why do some never get out of the basement?

And I know he speaks truth,
And I know for our family, he's right
But still, I'm breaking

Why does one baby have a 14-year-old prostituted mother?
And I get an easy ticket in the white burbs?

Why do I have to be young, arrogant or rich
To make a difference in the basement?

He must know my thoughts...
Because it will crush your soul
It will pour you out
Wring you out
Spend you empty
And leave you bare

And I know he speaks truth
And I know for our family,
He's right

But while I'm breaking
Two words keep pushing up against my brain
The pounding rhythm of a throbbing soul

Two little words that nag
Until they won't be ignored

But God!

But God
Could keep me sane
As He keeps me on my knees

But God
Can heal the wings
Of one that never had a chance to fly

But God
Can surround my soul
Through crushing?
Yes, and pain

Doubt
Worry
Evil
Sin
Grief
Despair
Yes-all there!

BUT GOD!

My soul is crying out
I have no money
But God's wealth never ends

I have no youth
But God tells me my marathon never ends
Run the race with Him
When my strength is ending
Fall into Him

I have no arrogance that I am always right
But God would lead and never be wrong
When I join Him in His work
I cannot fail

And I know He speaks Truth
And I know for our family He is spot on
But still my soul is breaking

I choose to drive the city streets
Past the pain
Past the cracks
Past decay
Past a casino that promises big dreams
And a Big River that carries the filth away

Past the million dollar condos
Past the Southern City at the Tip
Past the Basilica where God's beauty is on fire
Past the less urban
Urban town

Past the working-poor neighborhoods
Where one day I think we'll live
Out into commercialization of a beating suburban heart

And I replay
And I process
And I ruminate
And I try to swallow it back down

But my tears are at the edge
They bust through the well of my grief
Spilling down my shirt
Struggling to let go and pull myself together

My kids can't see this weepy puddle
How do I put words to the pain I feel?
Help me God!
I don't understand what is growing in me

It's rage
It's a holy fire
It's indignation at a world
Where the barnacles on the boat of Life
Dwelling under the surface
Are ignored until they've grown so big
We scrape them into a helpless heap.

They pile up
Or kill each other off
We blame them for growing down there
But if we'd just cleaned up
Every now and then
And given them a chance to grow in the Light
We wouldn't have this mess

I don't blame my breakfast guest
He's much wiser
Been walking those sidewalks
Longer than I ever could
He's honest
He's real
And he's kept his tattered faith
And his humor
Both good signs

And I know he spoke truth
And I know for our family
He is spot on

What I can't shake
What clings like dew on my soul
Is that if it were God's Will
And if it's where God wanted us
I'm still just naive enough
To believe

Through all the pain I've known
And the grace I've seen
If it was really the portion He had for me...

But God!

The Color of Water

Last week, the summer book group I'm in discussed The Color of Water. Unfortunately, I returned the book to the library before I wrote this review, so I can't give you any great quotes or anecdotal stories. But I'd read the book before, and the best recommendation I can give it, was that it is just as enjoyable the second time around.

James McBride is a black man raised in the '50s and '60s by his twice-widowed white Jewish mother. Most of his upbringing was in New York City, but his mother, father and beloved stepfather all hailed from the South. In his parents' generation in the South just to be seen together would have been illegal...if not suicidal.

James and his siblings search for where they belong...not quite in one world and definitely not in the other. Ruth, (his mother) preaches repeatedly to her children that education is the way out of poverty...and they learn the lesson well. Near the end of the book, McBride gives an accounting of all the accomplishments of his eleven brothers and sisters and himself. Ranging from professors to doctors and nurses to lawyers, each child more than fulfilled their mother's expectations.

What I kept thinking throughout the book was why does one family "pick themselves by their bootstraps" and not continue the cycle of poverty and millions of others are stuck there in perpetuity? The author himself gives one reason and I think his wisdom is wisdom that can come only from having walked the path himself. He points out that many of his African-American colleagues in journalism would sit around the newsroom talking about growing up poor in the "hood"...but he knew most of them had only been in such places behind the "doors of a locked Honda"...if ever. And he goes further to say that even he cannot claim a life as tough or as hollow as children of the '80s and '90s who no longer had any idea of what family, community or neighborhoods were like during his childhood. Their only resources are drugs, violence and never ending stress. This book was published in 1995 and in less than 20 years, the slide into urban decay and perpetuating an entitlement lifestyle have only worsened. 

Whom do we blame? Families, government, the Church, gangs, ourselves? You know what...I'm tired of all of the blame that is thrown around like yesterday's trash. What if we stopped looking for someone to blame and take a lesson from Ruth McBride, who instead started looking for a plan to provide a way out? Most of us will never know what it is like to be chased and threatened for daring to live out a love of a lifetime. Yet, she never looked to blame, rather she pitied ignorance and chose to challenge her children to live above it and instead choose Love, learning and life.

Seeds Now Heirloom/Organic Seed Company

About two weeks or so ago, I received my order of fall greens and herbs seeds that I ordered from an online company I stumbled across. SeedsNow.Com only sells heirloom organic seeds that have been saved through generations of farming. I purchased sample packs for just 99 cents each. Some of them have as many as 100 seeds per pack. Plus I received a free packet of spinach to boot!

I've already started some spinach and arugula. Those are the photos shown here. I'll keep you posted as I plant, but so far they look like a great source for non-GMO seeds. They also offer seed saving supplies but since I don't have the space, for now, I'll have to order from them instead. Some day I hope to save them for myself though and I'll turn to this company as a resource to learn how.

To top it all off, when I kept my order under $10.00 (which was 10 sample packs at $0.99 each) my shipping was less than $2.00

Here's what I'm planting this fall, how about you?

• Endive, Full Heart Batavian
• Spinach, Bloomsdale
• Cilantro, Slow Bolt
• Collards, Georgia Southern
• Rosemary, Classic
• Basil, Herb Mix
• Kale, Premier
• Lettuce, Salad Bowl
• Parsley, Dk. Green Italian

Vegan Coffee Non-Dairy Creamer

If you're my Facebook friend, you probably saw me post a photo from someone (who knows how it came to my newsfeed!) that was a base recipe for making your own creamer at home. I know my recipe title is a little redundant, because Vegan should automatically signal that this is non-dairy. But without using the names International Delight and Coffee-Mate, I wanted to convey the idea of what I was trying to create. The post I'd shared on Facebook did include dairy, so I didn't see how it was similar to the store-bought flavored creamers. And since I don't have a degree in chemistry, combining partially hydrogenated bromated genetically modified oils, corn syrups and artificial flavors is not something I will achieve at home anytime soon...nor would I want to!

So here is my hopefully somewhat healthier version I made today. I'm not trying to steal anyone's Facebook thunder, but I couldn't copy and paste a link to the original here, so the additional flavors I've included below did originate with someone...somewhere in the great beyond of social media. I take no credit for the flavors, just the healthy modifications.

I decided to try the Cinnamon Strudel flavor, so I needed the following items: refrigerated coconut milk, canned full-fat coconut milk, evaporated cane juice crystals, vanilla, almond flavor and cinnamon.

I measured out 1 cup of refrigerated coconut milk. [I am not brand loyal and would prefer to buy So Delicious Organic brand, but it is no longer available at my local Kroger store except in the rather expensive shelf-stable version] Next, I added this coconut milk to a small pot on my stove and stirred in 1 tsp of  high-quality organic cinnamon (use a little more if you'd like more or if you have regular cinnamon) and 1/4 cup organic evaporated cane juice crystals. Whisk constantly on low to medium-low heat until all cinnamon and sugar are dissolved. 

Once this is ready, pour into the container in which you plan to store it. Add the entire can of full fat coconut milk to the container along with the 1 teaspoon organic almond flavor and 1 teaspoon organic vanilla flavor and stir. I used a wide mouthed Ball jar.

It was delicious. I used some in place of milk with one shot of espresso to make a latte'. I did steam it, but it didn't foam as well as coconut milk does by itself. I will admit that it was too sweet to finish. I think the same amount in a cup of coffee would have been just right. I have always been a "more flavor/creamer than coffee" person and yet, today it was a little too rich. You could also try less sugar; using Sucanot instead of evaporated cane juice; increasing the amount of refrigerated coconut milk to 2 cups for a thinner version; or even trying agave or honey instead. I think that will be my next batch. The reason for the sugar is to try to replace the sugar in sweetened condensed milk from the original recipe.

In the original, it was suggested that you should place all ingredients in a Ball jar and shake "like crazy". I think this would easily leak...a lot. I think if everything can be stirred, a Ball jar will work well. If you need to shake it all to blend, I would suggest something with a tighter lid. I have several notes below that include additional flavors.

This really is delicious and if I could find reasonably price refrigerated organic coconut milk, the whole thing would be organic. You could use almond or rice milk too if you don't like the taste of coconut milk, but the fat in the canned coconut milk is the only way I know to replicate the creaminess.

Enjoy!

***Notes***

• For benefits of medium chain fats found in coconut milk, as well as other benefits, click on this link. 
• Sometimes the fat in canned coconut milk solidifies in the top of the can. This is okay, just scrape it out and place in your container. Be sure it is all blended well in your mixture. If this is proving difficult, the canned milk should be used as the one to heat on the stove along with your cinnamon.
• In the recipes below, the only time you need to heat anything on the stove is if you are using ingredients that are solid or "gritty" in texture that you would want to dissolve completely like cinnamon, raw cacao or pumpkin and if using granulated sugar crystals. Otherwise, skip the heating process.

***Additional flavors (omit cinnamon, vanilla and almond from recipe above)***

French Vanilla Creamer: 2 teaspoons organic vanilla extract or vanilla coffee syrup (i.e. Torani)

Vanilla Bean Creamer: 2 teaspoons vanilla bean paste

Chocolate: 1 Tablespoon raw organic cacao powder

Chocolate Almond: 1 Tablespoon raw organic cacao powder and 1 teaspoon organic almond extract

Irish Creme: 1 Tablespoon raw organic cacao powder, 1 teaspoon instant coffee, 1-2 teaspoons organic vanilla extract and 1 teaspoon organic almond extract

Peppermint Patty: 1 Tablespoon raw organic cacao powder and 1 teaspoon peppermint extract

Pumpkin Spice: 3 Tablespoons canned pumpkin puree, 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice, up to 4 Tablespoons maple syrup (omit sugar from recipe above), and 1 teaspoon organic vanilla extract

There are multiple other options like Chocolate/Raspberry, Caramel, Chocolate/Caramel, Hazelnut, Almond Joy and Salted Caramel. Many of these I left off because I didn't know of a substitute for the ice cream topping the original called for. But if you wanted to make your own organic caramel syrup or use brown rice syrup instead, you could continue with a healthier version of these as well!