Heaven

I think ever since I started reading Reversed Thunder by Eugene Peterson a few months ago, I've been thinking more than usual about Heaven. This was reinforced by the Beth Moore Esther Bible study as she kept referring back to God's kingdom versus the kingdom of this world and that we are all children of the King.

Yes, you were always meant to be a prince or princess.

None of this was new information to me. I've always known there are unseen forces vying for my attention, there is a kingdom of Heaven, and I take seriously Jesus' promise that He went away to prepare a place for those who love Him and are staking their eternal destiny on Him. (see John 14:2) But for some reason, thoughts of Heaven...the end of the world as we know it...and my overwhelming desire to see my Savior face-to-face...have been percolating in my mind more often as of late.

Then this Sunday at church was the final week of a month-long series regarding "The End" and Heaven was the topic. I had completely forgotten this was the sermon topic until we got there. My anticipation of what Pastor Marksberry would say almost could not be contained! My Nazarene upbringing wanted to jump up and shout "Amen!" so many times that I lost count. Instead, I had to content myself with quiet Amens and occasional glances at my 8-year old where I mimicked a loud, shouting "YES!!!"

While I sat there I recalled God's perfect timing, yet again, of an amazing conversation we had with my family the Sunday just one week prior. As family members shared visionary dreams, books they've read and the desire for the return of our Messiah,  I felt the passionate longing to see my Lord so consuming that I think I even said some stupid things just because I was so giddy I really didn't know what to say. Looking back, "Amen!" would have been enough. I'll try to remember that next time!

Some of the books that had been mentioned on the 29th at my parents' home where again mentioned by Pastor Marksberry exactly one week later. I think I need to find and read them! I can't wait.

As Pastor Marksberry referred again to "The End", Andrew Peterson's After the Last Tear Falls came to mind. Actually it was just one phrase.

 "And at the end, the end is oceans and oceans of love and love again."

I can't wait for an ending like that! Can you?

I thought of seeing our deceased grandparents and even our two little babies that were miscarried a few years ago. Yes, I was teary too many times to count.

But the thought I latched onto the most, was one that I am certain did not originate from me. The Voice that I know so well and love so much pierced through my revelry, tears and joy and whispered sweetly: "There is so little time...We have got to get busy!"

So that's where I am today...three days after this wonderful celebration on Sunday when we not only discussed eternal things,but many people were baptised to celebrate their new birth in Jesus...and having had a great conversation with a dear friend yesterday about learning to set our minds on eternal things, and look at life through God's perspective, not ours...and being reminded on Monday in Jesus Calling,  that "while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." (II Cor. 4:18)...I am left here to ask:

"Okay Abba, where do we get started? Or rather, where do we continue going from here?"

I can not think of anything I would rather be doing with my last breath or in the moment the clouds part than sharing God's Love with a lost and dying world that so desperately needs Him. When I filter my "to-do list" through that...it changes a whole lot of things.

What about you?

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Together

I've been chewing on this word a lot over the last few days and I thought I'd share what it's come to mean to me. I'm nearing the very end of my study of Esther and I'll be a little sad to see it go. I always feel melancholy about ending a Beth Moore study. I learn so much and experience a great deal of growth in a pretty short period of time, and I just long for that feeling to continue...every day.

Although the study is nearing the end, Moore's Spirit-inspired take on Scripture continues to speak right up to the last word. And the most significant word this week for me was "together".

I found this little treasure tucked away in a chapter I've read so many times, that when she referenced it in the reading and asked the reader to look it up, I immediately had it narrowed down to one or two very frequently quoted verses. It's in Romans 8, which for most Christians that have been studying the Bible for more than a few years, instantly conjures up many different verses that they can "hang their faith on", so to speak. Romans 8:28 is by far, one of the most touted, most shared, most quoted, most...abused even...scriptures there is. Yikes! Did I really just say abused? Afraid so.

Here's the verse as I read it a few days ago in my New American Standard Bible:

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

An amazing scripture, from an amazing God!

One of the first things we often fail to point out is this is a promise to Christians...Jesus-followers...those that claim the blood of the Messiah as their only way to having a relationship with God the Father...the Creator of us all. I cringe when people quote this to anyone and everyone. If someone is not in relationship with the Father, He can work things out for their good...but He doesn't promise it.

The next thing is the definition of "good". In America we tend to think in terms of wealth and prosperity...try telling that to a single mom in Africa or Asia. We personally lost everything financially a few years ago. By American standards, there is no "good" in our lives, but I can share countless "goods" that have come from that situation alone..."good" as God's Holy Spirit has defined it for me.

But, sadly I've heard this scripture shared most often to try to give an explanation to someone for the reason why they're experiencing great suffering, overwhelming tragedy or deep and severe pain and I know that becomes one of the many stumbling blocks why hurting people can't ultimately trust God. They think: "How can you say He is a good God if He thinks letting _________________(insert tragedy) happen to me is for my good."

Believe me...I've been there!

I'm sorry if I offend here...that is truly not my purpose...but how can we ever, honestly look at someone and say, 'Yes, divorce is good for you and your kids.'? In what universe is losing a baby or having one diagnosed with a chromosomal defect, or losing a parent to Alzheimer's, or losing your innocence as a child to abuse...a good thing??? Really? If you dare say that to the one in the middle of the swirling hurricane-force gale, you better duck quickly because if it were me...I might start throwing punches. [Just being honest!]

Then there's that word I've been chewing on...that word that Holy Spirit just hasn't let go out of my head...together. You see, I think what He's been trying to show me is that I will absolutely, without a doubt, drive myself C-R-A-Z-Y trying to find the proverbial "silver-lining" behind every rain cloud. I am not just analytical...I am hyper-analytical. I think very deeply and have even been told this is a bad thing. But God made me this way, right? And I have experienced some things in my life that in the moment and isolated by themselves had absolutely no good in them.

But...

taken together with, let's say...my personality...or my character...or my husband's wisdom...or my kids' laughter...or my sense of humor...or my experiences as a child...or my church background...or that sermon I heard 10 years ago...or a relationship that crossed my path for a moment, or a lifetime...or that other thing that happened a few years back...

and He...the ineffable One...the One who is so amazing we can't even come up with a word that can contain all that He is...

He takes a jagged edge from this piece and sets it next to the curve of that piece and lines it up with the plumb line of that piece and shaves off the extra from that piece and buffs the raggedness of that piece and fills in the empty spots with that piece and is constantly polishing all of the pieces so that...together...it is good.

I know a lot of hurting people right now and I, in turn, hurt for them when I hear comments from well-meaning people that are trying to put a positive spin on their pain. You know, maybe one of the best things we can say is, with honesty..."You know what ______________(insert tragedy) SUCKS! And I'm hurting for you. And I'm praying for you. And I do not want to make light of your pain, but don't drive yourself nuts trying to find something good in this. All you can really do, is pick up the pieces and carry them to the One that can put them all together and make something good from them. He's guaranteed you that if you're one who loves Him...He will do it! Hold Him to the promise! It's okay to tell Him He has to come through. He delights in His children staking their lives on one of His claims!"

You know what? His Son did too!

Hebrews 12:1-3

Just Had to Share This Quote Today!

We're visiting with family and their internet explorer is not compatible with blogger, BUT I just had to share this quote I came across in Beth Moore's "Esther" today.

"When, because of your faith, your life too becomes perceptibly different; when your reactions are quite opposite to what the situation seems to call for and your activities can no longer be explained in terms of your personality; that is when your neighborhood will sit up and take notice. In the eyes of the world, it is not our relationship with Jesus Christ that counts; it is our resemblance to Him!" --from "The Queen and I"

It's also been interesting in my experience that when "the neighborhood sits up and takes notice" is sometimes when Christians start asking if you're on the right path. Just something to chew on!

A Marked Woman

Have you ever felt like a moving target? I know I have. There have been times in my life where I felt like I must have a big, fat bulls eye painted right between my eyes, because the enemy's arrows were flying fast and furiously.

You can imagine my consternation and then relief to find out this wasn't just my melodramatic imagination running away with me. I actually do have a target on my head! Better still...if you're a Jesus-follower...you do too!

I first started pondering this I think a year or so ago. I believe it was in the Living Beyond Yourself Beth Moore Bible study that I heard her mention this. She was actually conveying the idea that we are "sealed" by the Holy Spirit when we place our faith in Jesus and claim Him as our Lord. Her biblical reference escapes me now, but she was trying to convey peace in knowing that you can never be possessed by demonic forces if you are a Jesus-follower, because they just can't get in.

It had to be this study, because I know when I repeated it a few months later, something occurred to me: "If the evil forces around me know that I'm sealed against them...then there must be a way...a sign...a symbol...that is recognizable to them. If that's the case...I'm a marked woman!"

Suddenly...it was as if the clouds parted, the stars aligned and the world finally made sense. Now I understood why so much had happened to us...why it seemed we could never "just get a break"...and what I had unleashed when for the last almost two decades I've told God time and again (with ever increasing levels of commitment) "No matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice, I will go wherever You lead and do whatever You want me to do!"

You see, that kind of talk is just crazy talk if you want to lead a nice, peaceful, "normal" life. But honestly, ever since I was a kid...I've wanted anything but "normal". I have a lot of passion, emotion, desire and life pent up in me and I guess somewhere inside of me I've always known I was meant for more than "normal".
Back to the idea at hand: a marked woman. When I first realized this, it also gave me great peace in knowing that either God has big plans for me (and our family) or we must already be at least in the proximity of the right path, because satan doesn't mess with his own. I'm not excusing any foibles we've committed along the way and I am the first to tell you that I'm so far away from perfect that it's not even in my sight lines. But I think there is something to this idea of not only experiencing great growth in your trials and God choosing to refine you when tragedy strikes, I think sometimes satan's also working overtime trying to bring down the ones that want to serve God first and foremost with their lives.

Then today in Beth Moore's study of Esther...joy of joys as she wrote again about this idea that we "are marked--even dressed--in ways obvious to both heaven and hell but invisible to man." She uses a references to Revelation 13:16-17 and Revelation 14:9-10 to propose the idea that what I grew up hearing called "The Mark of the Beast" is satan's counterfeit version of the true mark of God. This theory completely aligns with what I've just learned in Peterson's Reversed Thunder. Peterson points out that the antichrist and the false prophet are counterfeit versions of Jesus and even the dread number 666 is a knock-off of a complete 777....7 being often used in Scripture as a whole, complete or divine number.

When I read this today, I even jotted in the margin a note about phylacteries. According to dictionary.com a phylactery is 'either of two small, black, leather cubes containing a piece of parchment inscribed with verses 4–9 of Deut. 6, 13–21 of Deut. 11, and 1–16 of Ex. 13: one is attached with straps to the left arm and the other to the forehead during weekday morning prayers by Orthodox and Conservative Jewish men.' And I remembered the verse Deuteronomy 6:8, "Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." The "them" is the commandments of God.

Were the phylacteries just a forerunner of a spiritual mark that we would one day inherit when the Holy Spirit arrived to reside in any man or woman that bound themselves to Jesus Messiah? Hmmm?? It's worth considering. And I definitely see how "The Mark of the Beast" is a paltry counterfeit to the divine stamp of God. Growing up fearing the dreaded "mark" and even having nightmares about it, it amazes me to look back now and wonder at what point I lost that fear. Hallelujah! "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1)

I know this was lengthy...but thanks for hanging with me to the end. It might not even mean that much to you right now. I just pray that the next time your world is crashing down all around you, you can can look up and be confident that you imagination is not running away with you...you are in fact, a moving target! And your enemy will hurl absolutely every arrow in his quiver at you. So quit wondering why it's happening! Instead, Ephesians 6:16 tells us when this happens, don't walk, don't dally...run to take up your "shield of faith".

After all every good dragonslayer knows "You always go for the shield!"

Royalty

You may have noticed that under my photo to the right the only description I've put to describe myself is "I'm a Daughter of the King!". I used to describe myself with a much longer and witty (or so I thought) paragraph of my interests, background and life-situation. But for some time now, I've been content to merely think of myself with these six simple words.

But are they simple?

If you really think through the implications, the profoundness of these six words, the depth...the breadth...and the power of these words is actually...limitless. One place to start is do I act like I'm a daughter of the King?

Most days...no...I don't. And as I've shared on here recently, I've been struggling a little with my relationship with the King. I don't blame Him. I know I'm not sitting alone with Him as much as I'd like. I know I've let stress, play and schedules get in the way of making Him my priority. When I do concentrate on spending alone and quiet time with Him...His peace prevails, He focuses my heart and I feel confidently empowered to face the day.

So why don't I live focused on being His daughter every day? Hmmm? That's a good question. I think there are too many answers to delve into here. But one of the primary ones is that the King has an Adversary who loves nothing more than to distract me with fear, doubt, worry, stress, daily mundaneness, satisfying my own pleasures, guilt and an overly saturated, steeped-armpit deep culture that provides endless opportunities to ignore the King.

Excuses aside, I'm thankful for the Beth Moore Esther study that a friend encouraged me to do. Esther was a queen and she was presented with a seemingly insurmountable task...save the entire Jewish race. This was no Schindler's List. There was no way to save anyone. They were all going to die. And did I mention that if she went to the king, her husband Xerxes, without first being invited...she could instantly be killed? If you've never read the book of Esther in the Bible, I encourage you to do so. It's brief and reading it is not only encouraging, but sounds like so many love stories or fairy tales that prevail in our culture.

And here's what spoke to my heart last week when I read it in the Bible study: I too am royalty, because I'm a daughter of the King. And I too have a purpose that God specifically has for me to do. The famous verse that includes "for such a time as this" applies to us all. We each have an amazing "for such a time as this" destiny to fulfill. The question is simply, will we obey and act on behalf of the King when He asks?

Truthfully, I might not...unless I remember that I'm a daughter of the King and it isn't I who live but Christ living in me and through me. (Galatians 2:20) But when I stand confidently as a daughter of the King, I can boldly and with the power of the Holy Spirit, accomplish any destiny He has placed before me. Honestly, it helps my attitude toward others as well. The comments, misinterpretations or stinging barbs of others somehow lose their "sting" when I know that I am fulfilling my purpose in God's royal family.

If you'd like to learn more, here are more Scriptures regarding God's kingdom and our place in it. Read them and let them wash over your soul...renewing and refreshing you for the journey ahead.

Matthew 11:11
Matthew 13:11
Luke 20-21
I Corinthians 4:20
I Peter 2:9
Revelation 1:6
Revelation 5:9-10

Come back to these Scriptures often. They'll strengthen you for the journey ahead and remind you that no task is mundane when you're a child of the King. Every act has the possibility of furthering the Kingdom and increasing the territory of the King...the question is will you hear His call and heed His will? That's what a child of the King would do. That's my prayer for myself and for you as well. So let's agree together in prayer to stop behaving like and allowing thoughts to rule us that are contradictory to a child of the King. Just think of the possibilities when we each rise up to fulfill our own destinies "for such a time as this!" Amen!

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Beauty

Within the last week, I began the Bible study of Esther by Beth Moore. As she repeatedly admits, this is a study like no other. First of all, it's about a woman and there are only two books of the Bible about women...this one and Ruth. Another difference is that it is the only book of the Bible where God's name is never mentioned. His providential, guiding hand is evidenced all over it...but He is never actually mentioned.

But I think after one week of homework and two sessions of listening to Beth Moore speak, the one theme I'm picking up on for myself is just how closely our culture resembles that of ancient Persia. And nowhere is this potentially more evident than in the area of our culture's obsession with beauty. If you live in the U.S., like I do...I do not even need to explain this to you...it's all around you. In fact, you can't escape it unless you live a media-free existence and close your eyes when you go through the check out lane at the grocery store. But I guess you'd also have to close your eyes when driving so as not to see advertising billboards. Since this isn't possible...and you're still living and breathing...you know of what I speak.
Now, I could take a long time to bash every perverted instance of this obsession with beauty in our culture and I would feel completely justified in doing so...but my goal in life isn't to broadsweepingly change our culture. No, my goal in life is for God to change me from the inside out...and truly...probably one of the biggest areas where this has been evidenced in my life is in the area of...you guessed it...beauty!

From about the 12th through 23rd years of my life...I was a clothes-horse. My teenage daughter doesn't believe it now, but if I had any money (and sometimes if I had a credit card, unfortunately!) I was spending it on clothes. I followed fashion magazines. I wanted trendy haircuts. I was always on the cutting edge of fashion in my high school and college. Keep in mind, I lived in the midwest so it was cutting edge for where I lived. I was also consumed with my weight and tried every available diet at the time. I have the destroyed metabolic system to prove it now!

But something happened along the way and at first, I stopped caring about all of that. Actually, somewhere during the course of having children, nursing babies and being sleep deprived, I just didn't have the energy to care. Yet, the inner demons of feeling like I never measured up where persistently nagging. I was always measuring myself to others I knew. I was constantly envious of those who were blessed to inherit "good genes". When I was in a room of people, I would often do a quick perusal to make sure I wasn't the fattest or ugliest one there. In some warped way, it made me feel better. Throughout this decade or so, thoughts would often slip out and become bad comments against myself. I had completely swallowed the American lie that you couldn't be happy unless you were a perfect size 6, with white teeth, silky radiant hair and rock-hard abs. Yet, I longed to not pass down to my girls this poor view of themselves.

Praise God, somewhere in the midst of all of this self-loathing, He continued to grow me into the woman He created me to be!

I have to thank my husband for one day also speaking up and telling me that it bothered him when I made bad comments about myself. That was probably one of the figurative "slaps in the face" that woke me up to just exactly what I was doing and how my girls (especially my oldest!) were beginning to perceive themselves.

The transformation that I've noticed in myself is nothing short of a miracle. These last two to three years, as I've clung to God throughout life's storms, He's not only comforted me...but He's shown me so much about how I perceive myself and the way He has gifted me. As I've become confident of myself in Christ, I truly see other women for the beauty they have. I no longer view them with my critical eye trying to make myself feel better...I see them with God's eyes and the beauty He bestowed on them.

The first time I realized this change had taken place in me was when a Facebook friend posted some pictures from a missions trip to a Native American reservation. There were photos of women from the reservation that had prepared a meal for the team. The women were smiling from ear to ear. And although their hair was less than perfect, their teeth were not even and their faces were very weather beaten and wrinkled...my very breath caught within me and I said out loud, "Oh! They are beautiful!" There was a dawning in me that I could now see beauty for what it truly is...Beauty of the Soul!

God has done this transformation within myself too. I'm content with no makeup. My clothes don't have to be perfect. My hair can be done or undone and it's not because I'm lazy or have no hope of being beautiful. For the first time in my life, I am content with who God says I am...not what some magazine, tv show, internet site or movie star compares me to.

So now, the work continues. My prayer is for my daughters to know this for themselves. If they want to wear makeup or fancy clothes...that's fine...but I want them to understand that is not what makes them acceptable in the eyes of the One that created them perfect the way that they are. No...He sees the beauty of the soul...and that's the only beauty that lasts!

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