Pride and Stubborness

Jane Austen is one of my all-time favorite authors. And although my situation looked nothing at all like her heroine, Elizabeth Bennet's, this phrase in my title was a play on words that kept humming through my head recently. I don't have a lot of time today to explain, but I think I should at least attempt to try.

Mission Year hosts "Come and See" weekends twice each year in their various service cities. Abbey has long wanted me to come, but I didn't possibly see how I could. (You know where this is going, right?) Well...God being the good Giver of absolutely every perfect gift, as I (and Abbey) began praying for His wisdom and provision, several things "fell" into place that I recognized as being from Him...and some it took a little longer to put together.

First, I kept back some of my Christmas gift money. That is big, right there. Then, I picked up some contract work worth a couple hundred dollars, the very day after Abbey told me she'd be praying for God's provision. I also had two dear friends ready to head out on an 18 hour (one way!) road trip, and to be honest, the hours and hours of girl/Jesus time sounded amazing! One of these friends even has a sweet friend in Houston where we could stay.

Then...like the unforeseen curve in the road, a friend offered me frequent flyer miles to get a free airplane ticket. Suddenly, my well-planned trip had to be reassessed: I couldn't stay with my friend's friend without her. I'm a little afraid of flying. I had it all planned out in my head, Maybe I could take the ticket and pay for a hotel. I'd still have to rent a car in Houston, so would I really be saving that much?

And then He did it.

Yep...this is what I heard: "You are just being stubborn! You ask me to provide and..." I know in that moment if I could actually see the Holy Spirit He would have had His shoulders shrugged, His hands open wide and a look of "Well...what did you expect?" on His face.

My pride and stubbornness was uncomfortable with a free ticket and a free place to stay with a stranger. But these are both Christian hospitality in their finest. There are no strangers in God's family, right?

So tomorrow, bright and early, I'll be taking that flight to Houston and tomorrow night, Abbey will be staying with me in a lovely home with a brother and sister I have yet to meet. I could not have put this all together any better than if I'd actually written the manuscript. It all makes me wonder what other perfect gifts have I missed out on in the past because of my Pride and Stubbornness.

Is there anything that you are missing out on receiving because you've already got it all "figured out"? 

Giving Out of God's Abundance

A few months ago our pastor spoke about giving and ever since I've been asking myself this question: "How do I give out of my poverty?" Whether the poverty of my finances, my emotions or my spirit...when I feel like I have nothing left to give, how does God still want me to give? I have ruminated on this question extensively.

Over the last year, I've also been introduced to writers and speakers Brandon and Jen Hatmaker. This husband and wife duo had their world Interrupted when they attended a worship gathering where Shane Claiborne of The Simple Way asked everyone in attendance to donate their shoes to the homeless. As Brandon turned around to, for the first time, witness a Barefoot Church, he and Jen knew their lives would never be the same.

Exactly one year ago this past week, our family had the amazing blessing of visiting The Simple Way and although we may not have gotten to see as much about how they work, live and serve among their inner city neighbors as I would have liked, this lady saw enough to know these are people completely sold out and surrendered to living the way Jesus called us all to live.

Fast forward to today when I stood in worship of a Savior that may take a year or more to put a whole lot of situations and circumstances in place to teach me one powerful lesson...but He did. And I had the tears rolling down my cheeks to prove it.

Why?

Because last summer, trying to be more financially responsible and recognizing that Mary Poppins was perfectly correct when she quipped, "Enough is as good as a feast!", I purchased only one shirt, one skirt and one pair of sandals for that vacation to Philadelphia and The Simple Way. I think the whole ensemble cost me less than $30. In other words, it's not like it was fancy. But...I only purchase one pair of sandals/flip-flops per year usually and I was still wearing one old, dirty everyday pair and was on my second season with a pair I really liked but was showing it's age. These new, simple sandals with a silver strap were my "nice, church" pair (God does have an amazing sense of humor!). But, I loved those sandals. (love, in the American usage of how we love things)

Since I've been trudging along through Jen Hatmaker's book 7 this year and trying to avoid the trap of excess in my life, I decided this summer, I would make do with the three pairs of sandals from last year...the now 4 year old dirty, yard, everyday pair, the now 3 year old pair that I love, but the strap is hanging on by a thread and the now 2 year old pair with the silver strap that I wear for "nice". And I was content.

[You gotta know where this is going, don't you?]

This morning as we headed out to church, I was wearing the 3 year olds and as I have gotten in the habit of doing the last few times I've worn them, I grabbed the silver 2 year olds "just in case" my toddlers decided to break apart. I don't treasure the thought of being in my local Kroger in bare feet. The local Kroger probably wouldn't like that either, so I've been going out prepared.

Our current sermon series is focusing on the lessons we can learn about God through Creation. Today, Pastor Marksberry spoke about God as Provider. He ended the sermon with asking us...to give away the shoes we are wearing and leave barefoot so our shoes could go to a local organization that will distribute them globally. This was done very politely and without any pressure, yet unapologetically...as it should be.

As we took communion and I took a quick survey of my family's footwear, my first thought was, "But none of us are wearing shoes that anyone would want. They're all worn out, on their last leg and mine are about to break."

[By now...I'm sure you must realize what happened]

Hot on the heels of this first thought was the Holy Spirit's reminder, "But you have an extra pair in your van."

I wish I could say I instantly said, "Okay...sure". But I have to be honest and admit that I struggled for a minute or two. You see, this was my nice pair He was asking me to give away...not the dirty, yard pair or the pair hanging on by a thread. And what began resonating throughout my head, my heart and my soul was this: You knew. You knew they were going to ask this. You knew I would have that pair in my van. You knew I would sit here struggling.

Then everything I've read about the Hatmakers experience, everything I've read and know about Shane Claiborne and The Simple Way, everything I've been asking Him to purge me of in the excess of my culture came to a silent breaking point for me. I don't know what everyone around me was thinking. I don't even know if anyone else donated any shoes. I may have been sitting there quietly, prayerfully, even reverently during that communion...but Baby, I promise you my soul was on the edge of its seat ready to jump up and fly.

Why?

Because last year, I wore those sandals on the very sidewalks and streets where Shane Claiborne and The Simple Way live out the call of Jesus for justice, mercy and love for the marginalized of our society. Of course, Holy Spirit would ask me to give away the pair of shoes I own that have a little Philadelphia dirt on them.

Please do not read into anything I wrote here that I need a new pair of sandals or that I have somehow "arrived" because God has broken through and taught me "how to give out of my poverty". I can promise you that I will be absolutely fine and God, as usual, will continue to provide for my needs. Walking back into that church to drop off that silly little pair of sandals I knew with every fiber of my being that the greatest gift my Abba gave me on this Father's Day is that I no longer have to ask the wrong question.

Instead of asking how I can give out of my poverty, He is pleading with me to ask the right one:

How do I give out of my Abba's abundance?

Amen.

Giving Tuesday: A Heart For Korah

One of my favorite groups just added 12 more families that need sponsorship! A Heart for Korah has been dear to my own heart for several months now. I first mentioned them back in April of this year and their work has grown as has their heart for the people of Korah.

On this Giving Tuesday, wouldn't the best gift you could give be the one that literally brings life and hope to people who may have none? Read through the bios of the families and you will be amazed at how they have survived so much. For only $50 a month, you can help provide food, rent and possibly even an education to families that the world would like to just have us put away and forget. But they are not forgotten by a God who commands us all to give out of our abundance to those who have none.

Really? Trampling people underfoot on Black Friday and buying junk that won't make it to spring or saving the lives of a family? Is there even a doubt which reaps the greater reward?

Christian Missionary Fellowship

In my continued desire to Publicize What God is Doing, today's highlighted ministry is Christian Missionary Fellowship International. I am not familiar with this organization, but a quick perusal of their website indicates that they are active all over the world, sponsoring children, planting churches, advocating for the urban poor and providing basic necessities combined with teaching God's Love for each and every human being they encounter.

Brian Houser, one of CMFI's missionaries to Burkina Faso, was one of the speakers at our Missions' Day "round table" a few weeks ago. (Click here for link to video access to view the service) Brian talked of God's provision and encouragement even as his wife, Tabitha, battled meningitis while in Africa. But they are just one family out of what appears from the website, to be dozens all over the world serving through CMFI.

I counted 14 countries where CMFI is active, but the first one I clicked on is the place that is growing in my heart, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. CMFI is involved in serving the urban poor, including the disproportionate number of lepers that live in this capital city of Ethiopia. One thing I noticed quickly from the website is the large number of missionaries that appeared to be twenty- to thirty-somethings...yet again, confirming that the Millennials are a generation that will fight for a cause...no matter the cost. Praise God...His Spirit is alive and active and His children are obeying His call!

Once again, I will repeat...do your own research and if this is a place you feel the Holy Spirit leading you to give or to serve...don't question the feeling...or the wisdom...or even the practicality of it...just do it, and you will be blessed!

Dishonor

This is a tough one...but I'll try. The tough thing about this topic is not writing about it...it's keeping my temper in check. Curious? Read on. Not in the mood to look in the mirror? Stop reading here and come back when you're ready. And yes, I'm looking in the mirror too.

There is a passage in James 2 where I become teary almost every time I say it.

"But you have dishonored the poor man." (James 2:6a)

Actually, there is a lot leading up to and following after this one small sentence and in order to understand why my temper needs checked and I'm teary when I say or read it...I'm going to have to explain a little...or a lot. Please bear with me.

This one line follows hot on the heels of James 1:19-21 where we have been strongly cautioned to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger." (verse 19) James also reminds us that our anger doesn't accomplish "God's righteousness". (verse 20) Dictionary.com defines righteousness as "the quality or state of being just or rightful." So our anger...no matter how "righteous" we may think it may be...does not bring about God's justice, morality or uprightness (also as defined on dictionary.com). 

I believe this warning to check our anger...also called "setting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness"  and to instead "in humility, receive the word implanted" (verse 21) is one that greatly needs to be heeded by the American church culture. This is not the first time I've shared my frustration over what was plastered all over Facebook during the political election season. Too many times to count I was ashamed at the anger, divisiveness and nastiness that was spoken (in our culture...that means typed) by people calling themselves Christians. 

The huge sigh of relief I felt after the election was short-lived, as now, almost two months later comments are still being made! Ugh!...is the only word that will sometimes express my feelings. Unfortunately, I've had to unsubscribe from more than a few people just so I won't harbor anger and bitterness toward them. I would never "unfriend"...but I don't have to have their poison spewed all over my news feed! Enough said!

Or maybe not.

Because James goes on. In chapter 1 he not only tells us to "receive the word" but that we need to prove ourselves to be doers of it. Also, that I should never forget "the kind of person [I] was" (James 1:24) But one more warning that should smack us all out of our bitter jibes and deriding comments is this: "If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless." (James 1:26, emphasis mine) Maybe it's time we start "bridling" our keyboards too! 

Do you want to have "pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father"? Then James not only cautions us to bridle our outbursts...but to also "visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." (James 1:27) How many people do you know that were pontificating on the evilness of one side or another (and still are), but have actually sat down with a single mom (a.k.a. the widows of our society) or latch-key or fatherless kids (a.k.a. the orphans of our society) and tried to understand why they feel a sense of entitlement or despair? Yeah...I don't know very many who've done this either.

And right before James makes me teary and sad about how we "dishonor the poor man". He warns us yet again to not get too high and mighty about our faith. (see James 2:1-3) In fact, this segment of Scripture in the NASB is entitled "The Sin of Partiality". James wants us not to give favor to the rich and look down upon the poor because "Listen, my beloved brethren, did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?" (James 2:5)

The question I keep wanting to ask when someone is concerned about "entitlement", "hand outs", "redistribution of wealth" and "lazy people that just want society to take care of them", is this: "Do you actually know any poor people?" 

I'm not talking about someone that gets posted on broadcast news, YouTube or elsewhere talking about how great it is to get all of this free help. I'm also not referring to someone that just can't afford to eat at a sit down restaurant. Nor am I alluding to someone that doesn't have the latest iPhone, iPad or accompanying fluff to go with it. No...I'm talking about have you actually sat down and had more than a 5 minute conversation with someone that has to scrape together money for gasoline so they can get to work...which is a job that pays less than $10 an hour (equal to only about $20,000 per year) and probably has to work a second job, has their kids in daycare or before and after school programs, might be in school part-time or full-time, has no husband paying child support, no medical insurance if they or their child gets sick and can't stay home if they are sick because they'll either miss much needed income or worse, lose their job. 

How many grandmas have you conversed with that are living on medicare and social security, raising their grandchildren and trying to help those kids sustain a standard of living that will keep them from being made fun of and bullied at school?

When was the last time you sat down,  held the hand of and prayed with someone who just needed a few forks, a couple of bowls, some decent clothes for a new job and maybe a pillow and blanket so the floor would be more comfortable?

It's been awhile for me too. But when I have, I have walked away not only humbled, but astounded at the ones that say, "No, it's alright...I don't need free food...I get food stamps. Leave it for someone that doesn't have help." They haven't asked for a new set of dishes or towels or sheets that match. They've been thankful and grateful to just get enough to get by.

Are there people that feel entitled to food, clothing, shelter and other assistance? Absolutely! Try taking all of that away from your family for a few weeks and see if you begin to feel like you should be entitled to it too.

And, yeah, yeah...I know there are chronic abusers...I've met a few. I am by no means excusing their laziness or brazen expectations for it to just be handed to them. I'm just hinting at this idea that maybe instead of making blanket statements about the thousands of poor in America (or billions around the world)...might it be more beneficial to sit down with them and find out why they have these behaviors and attitudes?

But see...that's the hard part isn't it? Actually entering into someone's life...messy life...is exactly what we try to avoid. But there is no shirking the responsibility that it is exactly what God calls us to do and Jesus lived out!

James, doesn't let this go and I don't want to either...if we claim to be Jesus followers, in our culture that's called a Christian, then James says our works will put feet to our faith. If we don't have works that match our faith then we are no better than the demons who believe in God. Oh wait! At least "the demons also believe and shudder." (James 2:19, emphasis mine) I've heard a lot of Christians use this passage against people who say they "believe" in a god but live lives contradictory to the Bible's teachings. Interestingly enough, it was actually written to Christians that said they had faith and had no works to back it up. Yes, the ones who were dishonoring the poor!

Is it maybe time for us to start doing some shuddering too?

My loving Abba, I am ashamed at the people we have become! Myself included! We are more concerned about our own comfort...our own toys...our own gluttonous "needs"...that we are more than willing to dishonor the poor with our words of accusation or judgment and our condemnation than we are to cry out for mercy, justice and love on their behalf. How patient and merciful You have been with us! May we never, ever stop looking in the mirror and remembering "what kind of person" we were! (James 1:24) Or maybe the person we would still be if not for your unconditional, undeserved Love! When we are tempted to wade into the filth and wickedness of this age and accuse people who do not know You of not living up to standards that we somehow, miraculously expect them to just understand and live by...may we shut our mouths...close up our keyboards and instead open up Your Word and our hearts to hearing how much YOU love them and want us to as well. May our anger and fear at what appears to be "unfair", "unjust" and "unequal" not drive us to social media and rants about political positions...but instead, may we be driven to our knees to intercede on behalf of the billions who are dying without the knowledge of an Abba who loves them without any limits. And when we've been on our knees long enough to have our hearts broken for the poor, the widow, the sick, the imprisoned, the orphan, the destitute and the outcast and yes...the clueless...in the same way that Your heart has been broken...may we rise up to become the people that you created us to be...a people that is known by our Love for one another. Lord, through your servant James, You have told us that 'blessing Your name and cursing men who have been made in Your likeness' should never come from the same mouth (James 3:9-10). Lord, may it not be so! Instead give us mouths full of praise for You and edification, mercy, hope and love for others. For we know there is no where else in this world they will find these but in You.

Amen!

After this...you may unfriend me. That's okay, if you feel the need to differ with my convictions. Eventually, the only posts that may come up on my Facebook news feed will be photos of grandkids, puppy dogs and cutesy little sayings about rainbows and butterflies. Actually...I'm okay with that too.

The Game of Life

Thursday was a day of thanksgiving, and by later that evening I was especially thankful for one of those few remaining evenings when our whole family gathered around the table to play a game. Another thankful moment was that it was suggested by my 17 year old. But we settled on "The Game of Life" and it wasn't only entertaining, it was educational too.

Yes, there was lots of laughter about "inside" family jokes and some new ones were made [i.e. Noah setting his plate of pumpkin pie on the game board and proudly declaring it as "The Life of Pi(e)"] but most of all I became thankfully aware that God was using the experience as a teachable moment for me. Although, I have to admit that my family probably wasn't quite as thankful that I was sharing some of these revelations with them.

Here are some of the lessons I learned:

• Everything in our culture conditions us to follow the "norm". I don't know who established this "norm" (probably someone named Norm!), but whomever he was...it even pervades the very games we play.
• Like...you don't even get a choice about your mode of transportation. You just have to travel in a car. They've even become updated over the years so that now, in this "Game of Life" you travel in a minivan. Nevermind, that they are gas guzzlers...not eco-friendly...and are completely foreign modes of transportation to about eight-tenths of the world's 6-7 billion population. No, there is no option for a bicycle, moped or the more traditional "hoofing it".
• You are given the option to go to college or immediately start your career. But wait...all of the "good" (high paying) jobs are only available to the college-bound crew. Yes, you do have to borrow $40,000 to go (which is remarkably low nowadays!) but there is no trade school option or recognition that plumbers, electricians, carpenters and the like are the fastest growing skills set of millionaires in the working field today and with over 50% of the current workforce retiring within the next 20 years or less...will soon be in very high demand. This is in stark contrast to the every-increasing number of college graduates that are unable to find employment in their fields of undergraduate study. Hmmm? Don't think Hasbro has considered this.
• Then there's the option of marriage. Yep...you don't get to choose. In "The Game of Life" singleness is not an option. Now, I'm willing to acknowledge as a former tax preparer that there are financial benefits to being married. But in my idea of a non-psychological-brainwashing version of the game, you would at least have the option of whether to marry or not. Yes, there would be different tax rates to pay given your marital status...but at least you'd have the option.
• There's also no divorce space on the board where you only get to keep the kids for half of your turns and you have to pay half of your salary in child support or alimony. I realize this isn't a "fun" version of the game...but it is reality for more than half of the families that are marketed for playing this game. Noah's "person" kept accidentally falling out of his car as he traveled through his "Life". I kept joking that his spouse must have kicked him out and needed to separate for awhile.
• You also don't get to choose whether to have kids or not. It's just a random spin of the wheel and if you land on a "kid space" you get them...no questions asked. So obviously, someone...somewhere...felt like having children was just a lucky "spin of the (proverbially) wheel". I really think we need to stop looking at marriage and children as the only healthy lifestyle. I mean, I'm married...and I have kids...and I love all five in my family very much and would even give my life for them...but God teaches us that single people and childless people have great value to our society and His mission too. From day one I have said to our kids, "If you get married" and "If you have children"...I never...ever...wanted them to feel compelled just because it's the thing that's expected. Yet, our culture conditions us to think these lifestyle choices are odd.
• So because children are just a lucky "spin of the wheel"...some people that you wouldn't expect to have or want a lot of kids (like one of my children!) has six or eight every time they play. Let's just say that the one who has the least patience for children (just like me) will be having the most kids if this is any sort of "omen". I too have the most kids out of my siblings...go figure?
• And some people have to pay $5000 for a new nursery and then have to take the extended "family" option because, "I am not going to pay that much for a nursery and then not have any kids!" I know...humorous...but I sort of thought of the extended family option as this daughter's "infertility" detour. Yes, she ended up with a child...but it slowed her down a little.
• In this American version of "The Game of Life", there is no option about buying a house either. Yes...everyone has to purchase a home. There is no rental option, nor opportunity to live in a communal setting and share expenses.
• As if being stripped of your option to become a property owner isn't enough...about two-thirds of the way through "The Game of Life", you have to upgrade from your starter home to your home. Yes...the cards literally are called "Starter House" and "House". Now, in all fairness, you do receive an increase in the sale of your starter home over the price paid (which is not accurate to the current market in the U.S.), but you're never given an option to downsize or keep the "Starter".
• Also, sometimes it seems like there's no rhyme or reason why some people get the good job, the fancy house and retire with lots of money...while others don't make much money, live in a mobile home and don't have much option for a pay increase. Funny...as the doctor, in the mansion, with no kids...I quickly became the target of all lawsuits...but if Dale...the $20,000 a year salesman that lived in the mobile home...had to pay out any money, we all said, "Ahhh...poor Dad."
• And that's another thing...lawsuits...really? Our litigiously (that is a word, right?) happy culture had to add multiple options for lawsuits to its "Game of Life"? My kids were just itching to land on a lawsuit space. All I could do was shake my head in amazement at how far we humans have strayed. There was no reason given...just a chance to sue. As the recipient of this madness, I decided being the doctor it must have been for malpractice. The tide of lawsuits changed to Leah when we discovered this crafty little nine year old was conveniently hiding all of her big money under her little bills. Yes...she is that smart.
• Lastly, there's always "this guy" who seems to have all the luck. In our "Game of Life", it was Noah. He won the "singing idol contest" right after I did. He won another game show right after Abbey did and then he discovered buried treasure right after Dale. Again, no strategy...it's just the luck of "the spin"

Probably my biggest revelation came at the end, when you sell your house, count your cash and see exactly who wins this "Game of Life". Apparently, it's the player who retires with the most money. But another American-programming/comment-on-our-culture was that evidently..."The Game of Life" ends at retirement.

I don't know about you...but I don't want to stop living at 60...65...or even 70 or beyond. As long as God allows there to be breath in my lungs...I still want to travel, meet people, share God's Love with anyone that will listen and serve the God who created me. I guess that's not work...but it's still "Life".

How do I apply all of these mini-lessons into something I can carry with me? First of all, that our world is just crazy with expectations of how we should live and if for any reason you stray outside of that pre-formed mold...there must be something wrong with you. I think I'll continue to dare to be different.

The other thing is just how deeply these ideas are rooted into our culture. I mean, for pete's sake...this is a game and it just screams of the "American Dream". Today, I heard a great sermon where the speaker said he's learning that the goal in life should be to "die empty". It reminded me of a quote I have read several times from the 18th century preacher John Wesley. "[When I die] if I leave behind me ten pounds...you and all mankind [may] bear witness against me, that I have lived and died a thief and a robber."

Jesus said repeatedly, the first shall be last...the greatest shall be the least. James (inspired by his half-brother Jesus) adds that we should honor the poor and remember that they are the ones that are rich in faith. So here's what I'm thinking: Let's create a "Biblical Game of Life"

In this version you have more choices and sometimes you'll even miss a turn or two while you wait for the wisdom from God about which choice to make. You'll also always have enough money to provide the necessities for yourself and your family, and when you give away the extra...you'll receive some little gold crowns. Actually, every space you land on and have opportunity to give, serve or love someone, you earn more crowns. Sometimes, if one of your fellow players doesn't have enough to cover their expenses...helping them out earns you a few crowns too.

Then, the game doesn't end at "Millionaire Acres" but rather at a tombstone where whomever dies with the smallest amount of cash wins an extra five crowns. The winner? Well, there isn't one. After all...this is the "Biblical Game of Life" and while it's great to have a lot of crowns...the total doesn't really matter because you're just going to throw them at the feet of Jesus anyway. But that's alright...because if you've read the Instruction Book...you already know He's going to win...and I'm okay with that! 

Deja vu

In July 2010, I was working through the book of James in the Bible because I felt compelled to do it. "Compelled" may not even be a strong enough word. God's Spirit was leading me to do it and I knew I just had to. I used the inductive study method I learned earlier that year in a Kay Arthur study of Jude I'd attended at a local church. Inductive study analyzes individual words, cross references to other scriptures and sometimes even leads you back to the original Hebrew (in the Old Testament) or Greek (in the New Testament) to better understand the meaning that is sometimes "lost" or maybe just muddled in translation.

As I went through James verse by verse, God's Spirit used those words to alter the course of my life forever.  So many times, I wept, laughed, pondered, reflected and simply poured over what He was doing in me and through me. This blog was started, in part, because I was learning so much that I just had to share what God was teaching me.

When I found out this past spring that our new church would be hosting the Beth Moore, James: Mercy Triumphs Bible study later in the year, I could not contain my excitement. Now, to be involved in it and going through it with my oldest daughter, I can report that I have not been disappointed.

Week after week I have completed the homework and been left teary at remembering how far God has brought me and how much further I have to go. Each Beth Moore session has had multiple lessons for me to take away and "chew on". Today, I was teary and almost wanted to cry out, "God help us!" when she talked briefly about James 2:15-16. James is not a book for the faint of heart. He is not for the nominal Christian. He is not for the one who cries, "Lord, Lord" and then walks right by the one in need. (See Matthew 25:31-46) And there are a lot of us that struggle with James...I mean deeply struggle.

One thing I've learned in this study is that even Martin Luther (the 16th century German theologian that was instrumental in starting the Reformation) wrestled extensively with James. His background in the hypocritical and taking-advantage-of-the-Purgatory-scared-poor Catholic church of his day, left him with great turmoil over James' discussion of faith versus works. (see James 2:14-26)

But in the paraphrased words of Beth Moore, 'You may not like James, but no New Testament author more closely echoes the words of Christ than his younger half-brother, James.'

Echoes the words of Christ? Then I definitely need to pay attention, right?

And that's what I've tried to do. I've tried to read these words as if for the first time...problem is...I am so grateful for the words of James...that even now as I type...I am teary at how much God's grace and His Spirit have changed me since I last studied this book. My life looks and feels completely different and yet, I know there is still so much more to do...not because I have to...but because my Abba loves me so much that I want to!


Postscript: Just how much God used this tiny book of the Bible in my life is evidenced in the titles of the blog posts that came out of that study two plus years ago: James is Kicking My Butt!; More Boot Camp With James; More James...Ouch!; Waitin' on the World to Change; Friend v. Enemy; Well, I Did It; and Community Life According to James If you take the time to read these, I just ask that you bear in mind I'm a work in progress and so are you. Praise God...He never gives up calling us to a deeper walk with Him. Amen!

A Pocket Full of Jewells

This week I had the delightful treat of caring for a 2+ month old for four days. Now, I'm not one inclined to just take on extra kids for more than the occasional sleepover or a few hours playtime. But someone in need asked if I'd consider it, she's a single mom, and the late-in-life-but-your-ovaries-are-still-beckoning-to-you part of me thought "Why not?" I am beyond thrilled that we did it and here's a few lessons (aka jewels) I learned (or remembered) about the world of babydom:

• Some little girls are just natural mommys. Our 9 year old Leah, not only arose from bed early every morning to see Jewell...she could not get enough of playing with, feeding or just watching her. Being the youngest, she's never been around such a tiny baby for any significant length of time. Let's just say that every whimper, every whine and absolutely every cry this baby made was felt deeply by our compassionate, merciful, caregiver, Leah. If she thinks someone's in pain...she is there ready to hold the bucket while you puke or the bandage while you bleed. This is the one that will either have a boatload of kids or will step into a role God has for her that will serve even more!
• Even some baby girls are natural mommys. It was my day to serve in childcare at Bible study yesterday, and in the toddler room there were about two or three toddlers that just couldn't help themselves...they had to see Jewell...a few of them even lingered, longingly looking at her. While I didn't let any of them touch, pull on or hold her...one little girl, while I was rocking the baby, just ran up with super swift feet...patted Jewell on the bottom gently...and just as quickly, ran away. She had her baby fix, I guess.
• Everyone deserves a chance to cuddle and coo with a baby every once in awhile. No matter what is going on in your life...about 20 minutes of holding a baby that hums and sings while they drink their bottle or smiles at the most random comments...just has a way of nourishing your spirit.
• Life slows down when you have a baby to care for. The great thing Holy Spirit reminded me early Monday morning is that life is just slower with a baby. I usually wake up with a head overflowing with expectations of the things I want to accomplish for the day. But right from the get go on Monday, God was faithful to remind me to relax, take it easy, let go of those expectations and just enjoy the slow pace. Sure, some chores didn't get done and some schoolwork was bypassed, but some of that happens around here anyway. No expectations means no stress and therefore, no resentment over piled up laundry or whatever. Shoot...I remember the days when my kids where babies that just getting out of my pajamas for the day was a huge event. Now, I stay in my pajamas any chance I get!
• God did not intend for old women to have babies. I spoke truthfully when I said watching Jewell was a delight and that I was thrilled to do it. But being 44 years old and caring for a small baby does have one down side...achy muscles. No, she doesn't weigh much and she was no problem...rather it's the car seat and other paraphernalia you have to take with you that causes the shoulder and neck strain. God bless moms of young kids! I don't know how I did it. I just know I did it with a younger body!
• Even when you think you have nothing to give...you do! A recurrent theme of struggle for me has been lack of finances often makes me sad over perceived lack of opportunity to give. Wrong! When Momma asked if I could help, Holy Spirit quickly affirmed to me that this was something I could give...do well...and actually had experience and confidence in doing. So take it from someone who's been there (and still occasionally goes back "there") don't ever believe the enemy's lie that you don't have anything to give to someone in need. Instead...ask God what He's already given you that you can share.

Baby Jewell is pretty sweet and everyone in our family had some form of positive interaction with her this week. What a blessing to even hear my 14 year old boy laugh at her smiles and check on her to see if she's sleeping. It's good for my kids to step outside of themselves and focus on another for a few days.

And just in case you still haven't thought of anything you have to offer someone in need....once again, you'd be wrong. Momma and Jewell are still looking for a more permanent childcare situation and it's going to take God's provision to do it. So you can pray! Pray for God to lead, God to prepare and God to provide. I can claim confidently that He will do it because He's the God Who Will See To It (Jehovah Jireh). But also, I know this Momma's heart is to serve God and He will always provide what she needs exactly when she needs it. Most of all though, God cares for this precious Jewell and He has great plans for her. As her Abba, He'll be certain to get her to the place to fulfill that plan and He'll be with her every step of the way.

Amen!

Our Fifth Single Moms' Night Out

We had a small group last night...but still lots of fun with the kiddos we were blessed to play with for a few hours. B-I-N-G-O, as usual, was the highlight of the evening. It amuses me how much little prizes excite a child!

Thanks to all of the Firm Foundation Co-op people that helped out in some way: Kim Bular, Dawn Fay, Marie Bryant, Julie Mayer, Michelle Eppinghoff, Kari Mulderink, Michelle O'Dwyer, Amy Santen and anyone else I may have neglected. It is possible that I missed someone, because weekly I had people bringing donations to me faster than I could keep track of. You're a great group of loving, caring and sharing home schoolers. We are blessed to serve and live in community beside you!

Provision Even for the Little Things

I know I've blogged similar posts before, but I'm still in awe of a God that cares about even the little, seemingly insignificant things that matter to us. I shared on Thursday (see Idolatry of Self-Reliance) how I'd awakened pretty early with some concerns on my mind and heavy on my heart. Payday was Friday and I just couldn't humanly see how money was going to stretch to cover all the things we need it to this month.

Even as I was walking to the mailbox Friday afternoon, for some reason I was praying, "Lord, even just $25 would be great." I haven't exercised this sort of request to Him as I walked toward the mailbox for some time, because the random blessings we received in the past have become very random indeed...and that's okay. This is merely how God is choosing to work in our lives for this season. I've not complained because I know when His floodgates are open, sometimes there needs to be a little dry spell too.

I even shared with a friend a few weeks ago after my temporary tax season job was complete that in a weird sort of way, I look forward to these periods where we can't completely provide for ourselves...that's when my intimacy with Him is at its highest and I see Him working everywhere around me...even in the little things.

I honestly wasn't expecting anything in the mail on Friday, but as I did a quick glance through, I saw a card from a relative that loves to send cards. I knew when I saw the handwriting that it was a Mother's Day card addressed to me and I thought, "How sweet.  She always remembers." I opened it on my way to the van because the kids and I were heading out to run some errands. Out tumbled a $25 Kohl's gift card. Hmmm...amazing! One of my kids needs some new shoes...God knew it...and He provided. He's just that good.

Since it was payday, I'd already paid out or allocated the money to payout all of our expenses for the next few weeks and didn't much care for the number that was left over when all was said and done. Are any of us ever? I told myself, "It's okay. It will be tight, but I just want to have enough for Noah's birthday and to go out for Mother's Day." Unfortunately,  after we'd run our errands which included grocery shopping, I knew I'd cut into what was left more than I'd expected. Don't we always?

So as I put all the groceries away and thanked God for His provision for them yet again (and the amazingly cheap produce co-op where we get to shop!)...I said to Him, 'You know...it's okay if we don't go out for Mother's Day. I just want to be able to go out for Noah's birthday.' I was thinking this as I walked toward the dining table where I'd thrown the rest of the mail. As I opened the only other envelope we received that day, to my astonishment and surprise, there was the $50 rebate gift card from my contact lens purchase I'd submitted in March...in an unmarked envelope with our address only.

Now, I am fully aware that eating in a restaurant for Mother's Day is way down on the pecking order of world dilemmas. But to be able to tell my kids, "Look what God provided," is HUGE. And you may begin to believe that I somehow contrive these little stories just to make God sound good...but I could never make Him sound as good as He really is. Believe it or not, we went to our family's favorite Chinese restaurant and my heart sank as they told us that lunch prices were not in effect today because of Mother's Day. I thought, "Shew...good thing I told the kids on the way here we were only getting water!" I even made a remark to all of them that it would be about $20 more than I'd budgeted (which was the $50 gift card), but it would be okay.

Without even calculating the cost and simply being able to share one less meal because the dinner portions are bigger and the wonderfully kind owner continued to give me a 15% discount because she did this for me while I worked in the same strip mall this winter and...yes, beyond everything rational and logical within me...that total, with even a 20% tip was...you guessed it...$50.00!

Is that cool or what?!

So let me ask you this: Do you trust Him with even your little things? Please do...you will be amazed, astonished and absolutely awestruck at what He wants to do in you!

Forwards

If you're old enough to remember when e-mailing others was new and exciting and pre-Facebook, do you remember when you use to receive dozens of forwards from friends and family every day? You'd open your account to find your mailbox filled (because we even had limited space!) with spam or junk mail. Maybe some of you still do, but I don't. I get the ocassional forward and it's usually from only a few people.

Honestly, most of them I don't read unless the subject line grabs my attention. And do you remember how most of these have a "chain letter"-type line somewhere near the bottom that either says prayer for someone, forward it on and others will pray for you or "don't break the chain of good luck" or some other gimmik like that? Yeah...that's why the skeptic in me never forwarded any of these. If my "luck" is solely dependent upon my e-mailing skills...then I'm in very bad shape indeed!

But today (you knew this was coming, right?) I received one that made me stop and think. It's more parable than truth, but it just happened to hit me right where I've been thinking for a long time. Bear with me if you've heard it before, but here it is:

A Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,

'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table..

In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew

which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.

They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, 'I don't understand.

'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill...

You see, they have learned to feed each other.

The greedy think only of themselves.'

Now, ignoring all of the 'forward this on' lingo at the end. This had something very profound to say to me. There was even this tag line:

I will always share my spoon with you.

As I exhaled at the challenge this presented to me, I really had to stop and give pause to consider...'Even as much as my heart has been changed by You, God...would I really, wholeheartedly, always share my spoon with others?'

I don't know that I can answer this with a definitive, 100% yes. There are times in our neediness as a family that when God's Spirit prompts me to give away food or money, even after two plus years of living this way...it is a battle. My enemy starts reciting to me the litany of reasons why it is insane to give that "thing" away. But praise God...He is right there doing battle with the evil one and in many of those situations, He has encouraged me to give away even more...or even the best that we have...and I find great joy in doing it. I mean, most Americans can give away a cheap $1.00 jar of peanut butter and not bat an eye, right? But when someone of very limited means gives away a $5.00 plus jar of organic peanut butter? Well, I can affirm without question...that only comes by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I can take no credit for any part of that gift.

The times when He's helped us give away some of our best have brought more joy than I could ever relate with mere words. And most of the time, it's only He and I that know what a struggle it was to give it away...and that just multiplies the joy tenfold or more! It's almost like having a really great secret with your best friend. No wait...it's exactly like having a really great secret with my Best Friend!

Don't let the lingo or the idea that the little story above was from a forwarded e-mail hang you up here. Scripture is covered in references to giving outside of ourselves, above and beyond what we ever think we could...taking care of each other and also the poor and needy in our midst. To live this way is to live like Jesus, and I can't think of anything better than that!

A Quandry

As I've been praying and seeking God's wisdom regarding finances, possible future employment and some ministry opportunities coming up for our kids, I found myself frustrated over and over again with trying to figure it all out. Yes...I still haven't managed to relinquish my ability to plan and strategize my way out of anything.

A friend and I were even laughing about our common planning capabilities on Tuesday morning. But then she mentioned a Jesus Calling entry she'd recently read. The conviction that planning for every possibility can be an idol is something I honestly don't like to hear. I have shared on this blog before though that God has been leading me for some time to give up this "gift" that comes so naturally.

While copying down some verses in my Beth Moore study of Esther yesterday, I was comforted to be reminded that I don't have to figure out the "how".  You see, I'd forgotten already what I'd learned in Esther: "It's tough being a woman who feels responsible for the "how"

Moore shared scriptures that I wrote on some index cards when faced with the insurmountable task of figuring out the "how". The one applicable for me today is this: "For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust." (Psalm 103:14) He knows my frame. He knows how I feel completely "in the zone" when I'm home being a wife and mom, when I'm able to give full attention to homeschooling, when I'm able to have time to serve in ministry. (see First Day After Taxes)

Not only this, but He knows my passion to serve Him and my desire to afford our children and our entire family the opportunities to minister in the name of Jesus in our city, our state and our world. Amazingly enough, He also knows that this costs money...and nobody knows our utter dependence on Him for provision better than He.

Where would the money come from when anyone in our family wants to participate in a missions trip, leadership conference or even just having the gas to serve someone locally? Good question, right? I know we can solicit support from friends and family...but honestly...as much as we hunger to serve...we may wear out our welcome quickly. Some may begin to dread mail or calls from us...and that's not what we want. We're not afraid to solicit on behalf of the kids or for occasional trips, but what God is calling us to is so much bigger and we've got to start raising funds somewhere.

So there's been this idea bouncing around in my noggin for about a week or so. I even shared it with my friend Tuesday morning and my sister-in-law yesterday. They both thought it was a good idea and not that I need their approval, but sometimes confirmation that you're on the right path is nice to have.

Back to the "how"...God knows "how" I'm wired and He's given me certain gifts that I love to share with others. I'm excited He's putting this all together. Here's what we're going to do (drum roll please!):

I'd like to officially introduce Blessings from Baking!

This new blog will showcase the cookies, pies, cakes, breads and candies that we are selling in order to raise money for ministry. 100% of the profits will go toward ministry. 10% of that amount will be shared with Boundless Ministries which goes directly to serving single moms and their families. The other 90% will go toward mission trips, leadership conferences and ministry opportunities for anyone in our family. All of this fits perfectly within our goal of "Writing a Better Story!" I just said to my friend Tuesday that any time we are serving the deeply impoverished, either through a work day, Single Moms' Night Out, at the Henry Hosea house, sending our kids on a missions trip here or abroad, sponsoring a child through World Vision, serving at LifeLine ministries or Master Provisions, etc...we are falling within the boundaries of our desire to serve single moms. If you're serving the poor...you're mostly serving single moms.

So check out the new blog. I'll obviously post regular updates to it on here as well. It's brand new, so it will take some time to build our "offerings". My prayer is that when you venture that way, you'll notice the background. (I can't believe blogger offered an African slum as a background photo!)Divinely placed there for just this use, I hope it's a reminder to those who'd like to order to what purpose their purchases will contribute. It's a reminder to me of the calling to where God is leading and if baking is how we're going to get there...then Hallelujah! and Amen!

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End note- This new adventure will in no way distract us from our service through Boundless Ministries.  We will still accept donations as God provides them, but those donations are specifically earmarked for single moms. Monies earned through Blessings from Baking will be utilized as described above.

No Longer a Slumdog

Recently, I found an ad next to my Facebook home page about a free book that Francis Chan recommended. If you've been reading this blog for a while or have explored some of my pages on the right-hand side, you know I like what Francis Chan has to say.
So I clicked on the link and discovered that the name of the book was entitled No Longer a Slumdog. You might have read a few months ago, that Slumdog Millionaire is one of my favorite movies...ever. Of course, I ordered the free book right away.

When it arrived, I was hooked from the first page. I not only learned the background of how Gospel for Asia's Bridge of Hope program began, but why. Providing free education to the deeply impoverished of Asia breaks the chains of ignorance, poverty and has side effects that we don't often consider. Care for the environment increases and troublesome statistics like fertility rates are reversed when people become more educated. This is also the only way out of poverty for those in the lowest castes of India.

The author, K.P. Yohannan, explains the caste system in a way that I understood for the very first time. I knew it was bad...I just didn't know how bad. I cannot imagine going through my entire life believing that I deserved to be treated worse than even some animals are...all because of the caste into which I was born. It's the whole "karma" thing...you get what you deserve.

But praise God...we don't get what we deserve! God's mercy and grace gives us far more than we could ever deserve by our own merit. You can now begin to understand why the "good news" of Jesus Love is transforming lives radically wherever Bridge of Hope centers are located.

This link will take you to Gospel for Asia's webpage to order a copy of the book for $5.00. But watch on Facebook for the free offer. Also, my copy came with a postcard to request another free copy if I just give away the first one. If you'd like to have my copy, I'll gladly request another.

Probably the best recommendation I can give for the book is not from me, but from my daughter, Abbey. After having recently watched Slumdog Millionaire, I encouraged her to read No Longer a Slumdog. It took her only a few days to complete it. What encouraged me even more was that when her co-op book group recently compiled a list of books they would recommend to the rest of the co-op for reading...No Longer a Slumdog was one of the three she recommended. High praise from a 16-year old.

Get a copy and allow God to open your eyes (and your heart!) to another part of the world that desperately needs hope.

Mentioned in this post:

Just Had to Share This Quote Today!

We're visiting with family and their internet explorer is not compatible with blogger, BUT I just had to share this quote I came across in Beth Moore's "Esther" today.

"When, because of your faith, your life too becomes perceptibly different; when your reactions are quite opposite to what the situation seems to call for and your activities can no longer be explained in terms of your personality; that is when your neighborhood will sit up and take notice. In the eyes of the world, it is not our relationship with Jesus Christ that counts; it is our resemblance to Him!" --from "The Queen and I"

It's also been interesting in my experience that when "the neighborhood sits up and takes notice" is sometimes when Christians start asking if you're on the right path. Just something to chew on!

Kony 2012

About ten years ago I first heard of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) in Uganda. What struck me at the time was how would I, as a parent, feel if my son (then 3) would some day be taken from our home and forced to kill, maime, rape and destroy thousands of lives all for a warlord (Joseph Kony) who was doing it for no other reason than to retain his own power?

Over the years, I've heard bits and pieces of information about this evil man and his reign of terror but because I live in white, middle-class suburban United States could largely put it out of my mind. But every now and then, when my children were being selfish or thought their lives were awful because I wouldn't let them have the latest electronics item or spend countless hours playing on media or I'd asked them to do more than they deemed to be the "fair" amount of work, I have tried to put their "plight" in perspective by asking them to consider their troubles in light of millions of children around the world...including the child soldiers of the LRA.

Now, one of my children has brought to my attention a grass-roots campaign whose aim is for 2012 to be the year that Joseph Kony is arrested and brought to justice. Did you even know that he is number 1 on the International Criminal Court's most wanted list? He was the first person to be indicted by the International Criminal Court because his heinous crimes surpassed those of any other person...including Osama Bin Laden or Muammar Gaddafi. Because Kony's crimes are not seen as a security or economic threat to the U.S. though, nothing has been done to stop him...until now.

Take 30 minutes to watch this video please, then actually do something about it: write your congressmen, go on the website and contact the 20/12 leaders that this movement is targeting, get the word out on Twitter, Facebook, your blog, your church...everywhere. There is no reason this can't end...and soon. We no longer live in a world where we can say that what happens in Africa doesn't affect us.

Actually, stop and allow yourself to process that thought. I've said this many times on this blog and in many ways but there is one perspective I have not yet thrown out here for your consideration because I didn't want to sound too cynical. But whether it's famine relief or a warlord's 26-year reign of terror, what if within the next 3-5 years our nation would experience total economic collapse and the roles were reversed? What if someone akin to a Joseph Kony arose out of the ashes and began his evil power-hungry warmongering in your own backyard? Would we want the nations in Europe, Africa and Asia to see it as "our problem" and that it doesn't affect their "national security" or a possibility of "financial instability" to their homeland? Our country is not sitting on a pile of oil either...who would come to our aid merely out of the goodness of their hearts?

There's a lot of buzz going around on Facebook about Kirk Cameron's new movie too, called Monumental. Honestly, I don't know a lot about it other than it's something to do with how the U.S. has lost it's Christian roots and we need to get back to them. I agree. But I also recognize that the U.S. is a kingdom of this world and it is not my eternal home. Just stop and consider for a moment, what would be the most effective use of your Christian time and energy...rallying around a movie that tells Christians in the U.S. how we need to get back to our Christian heritage...or living out our Christian faith and values by contributing toward the relief of famine and war in Africa that will actually pass on that Christian heritage and values to the next generation that is closely examining us?

Hmmm??? Good question!

For more information, go to Kony2012.com

Of Buttons and Heels

Most Mondays and Tuesdays I work during the day while my husband is home with the kids. He does a great job of doing school with them and keeping up the chores around the house...even better than I do when I'm home...and I'm not just stroking his ego...it's true.

But I've become awakened to something lately that I think I realized a long time ago I do and yet, just in the past few days I've begun to ask God to help me sort through why I do it. It's like I walk in the door and my eyes automatically zero in on all the imperfections I see. Mind you, if I'm home all day, I freely step over sketchpads and crayons, sit next to piles of toys on the couch, leave my own piles of papers or books on countertops or tables and never even bat an eye. But for some reason, and this is what I'm asking God to help me sort through...when I've been gone all day, similar piles and papers disturb me greatly. Remember, I said Dale's doing a great job of keeping up...I'm talking about the stuff that's left down is the sort of stuff I ignore on a normal day.

So I've begun to ask God if it's just because I don't like being gone from home during the school day and not knowing what my kids have been doing. Or, in other words, am I jealous that they've spent the day without me, might be a simpler way of putting it? Hmmm? I don't know. I'm still exploring the possibilities.

Regardless of the why, having become aware of my propensity to do this and that it feels almost uncontrollable and there have been times (many times unfortunately!) where it even feels like a sort of tirade as I go through our home...yesterday...I was determined to come in the door, be positive and helpful and above all...kind...no matter what.

Well, that lasted for a few minutes at least.

I'd changed my clothes, saw what a good job everyone had done of picking up their rooms and knew I had some more things to put away in mine that I'd started to clean up last week. At some point I walked into the family room to find my 8 year old on her hands and knees with her coat spread out on the floor underneath her, a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting a button off of her winter coat! Now, I ask you what would you do?

Yeah, if your answer is that you lovingly, kindly, gently and wisely would ask her what she was doing...you're not me. I'm ashamed to say, I yelled...not screamed...but definitely made-her-jump sort of yelled!

Because of my reaction, she wouldn't tell me why she'd cut off the button...which just infuriated me more! I tried to breathe deeply and remain calm but I'm sure my voice was raised even though I told myself I was "just being firm" so that she understood the seriousness of the situation.

Would you like to know her reasoning? What could possibly fill a child with the whim of an idea to cut the button off of her winter coat? There couldn't be a good reason, could there? Well, here goes...

As she choked back sobs and the crocodile tears poured from her eyes, she told me that First Church (where we attend our home school co-op) is collecting buttons for Haiti and that someone (not sure whom...Haitians? or people going on a mission trip to Haiti?) is going to make bracelets with all of the buttons that they collect.

You guessed it...I am the heel in this story!

After we'd both calmed down, the tears were drying and the sobs were almost over...we were better able to discuss why we don't just start cutting on our clothes and why it's important to communicate to Mommy or Daddy what she's thinking and what she dreams of giving to others. And, in turn, I was able to direct her to a box of buttons from which I gave her free reign to choose as many as she wanted to put in the bucket at co-op. She was thrilled!

My second-guessing fear this morning was that I've forever imprinted on her soul a hesitancy toward giving away anything and everything that God leads her to give. I truly don't think this fear was an attack of my Enemy. I believe it was a mental note from God saying that I need to think twice before I jump to conclusions. My attitudes and reactions greatly influence her and how she will perceive giving and loving some day. And after all, she's never been a destructive child or prone to make messes just for the sake of making them. "So next time, Angela, take a breath...don't jump ahead of Me and calmly...lovingly...ask her not only what she's doing...but why."

I've shared on this blog before Leah's propensity to give away even the things that are most special to her in order to aid someone in need. (see "Two Not So Simple Questions" and "Follow Up on the Purple Ba") And just last week, she emptied out all of her change from her piggy bank to give in a fundraiser at co-op for a family that has huge medical and financial needs that she's never even met! Her gifts, even at only 8 years old are compassion, mercy and service to those in need and I have so much to learn from her!

Why would an 8 year old cut off the button from their winter coat? Why...to help someone in Haiti who needs one!

The Year in Review

At first, it's a little difficult to assess 2011 for this blog, because I've already shared so much. And the countless other blessings that have come our way this past year are either too innumerable to list or too close to the heart to share. Unquestionably, a look back over the year in the life of this blog could leave no one in doubt that there is a loving Abba (Daddy!) who cares for His children deeply...even in the minutiae of life. No detail is too small for His notice. If it matters to one of His kids...it definitely matters to Him!

Nowhere in my life has this been more evident in 2011 than in the life of our family and the life of the ministry God "birthed" this year...Boundless Ministries. [Actually, it was born in our hearts in 2010...He just put a name to it in 2011.] So I've decided to write a year in review focused on this ministry to single moms which is becoming more and more a central part of everything we do...in thought, word and deed.

I'm not going to review the finances in detail for the most part, because you can read the monthly financial statements for yourself.  Just click on Financial under "Labels" section to the left and you can find the links to each of these statements. Otherwise, here's a brief summary of some of the highlights of God's ministry to single moms through Boundless Ministries this year:

• In partnership with Firm Foundation Home School Co-op, we hosted two Single Moms' Night Out events. The first one, we had 10 children participate, the second, there were 5. First Church of Christ in Burlington has been amazingly helpful in promoting the events and allowing us to use their facility.
• We've provided several hours of free childcare to moms. We didn't keep track, so a conservative estimate would be about 15-18 hours since July.
• We coordinated, promoted and participated in a 24 hour Famine event that raised just over $1000 for Kids Against Hunger of Cincinnati. This money was used in their Horn of Africa campaign and will feed more than 8 children for an entire year. Several families participated with us, including single moms and their children. It was an amazing life lesson in obedience and being quick to answer the leading of the Holy Spirit.
• In October, we launched a Bible study, but it quickly became apparent there was either no need or no interest in something like this. I chose to see this as a lesson in obeying the Holy Spirit even if by human perception it could be viewed as a failure. I've learned there are no failures when you're following God.
• Through the thoughtful donations of others, we were able to attend a Cincinnati Reds game along with a single mom and her three sons.
• Twice we were blessed to have the funding to make donations to two families that we've never met, through their connection with others.
• Over $1083.00 in mostly anonymous gifts (cash, gift cards and items) were given away to moms and their families.
• We've started volunteering one afternoon a month at the Henry Hosea House in Newport, KY.
• We volunteered about five times at a local nursing home along with our friends from Firm Foundation Home School Co-op.
• We coordinated a few "donation drives" for three different single moms that totaled over $250 in cash and gift card donations.

Honestly, my memory fails at this point...and that's okay. I don't keep a running list of everything because the point is...God knows it all and we do it for Him and for His true character (His glory) to be revealed to a lost and dying world. So it doesn't really matter if I have an exhaustive list or not.

My prayer is that this "annual report" isn't seen as a brag list. I'm also really not concerned with giving possible donors more confidence that their money will be used wisely...it is only the job of the Holy Spirit to lead people to give. No...my goal in putting this list "out there" is so others who are contemplating a leap of faith into serving our Lord will see that He is faithful!!! If He calls you to do something...anything...He will provide...financially, physically, emotionally and most importantly, spiritually.

I guess my "sub-purpose" is so that you can know that we are just regular folks! We don't have seminary degrees, we don't have intensive training from any denomination, we don't have a background in community service or really excel in anything that our culture would deem as necessary to run a successful non-profit. Shoot...we're not even concerned with being a successful non-profit. We are just two adults and four kids fumbling our way on this journey with hearts that really just want to obey what God calls us to do. I know people say this so much that it is cliche'...but "If we can do it, anyone can!"

Strike that! If God can do this through us...He can do it through ANYONE!



By His grace and by His leading, we are looking forward to an amazing 2012!

An Early Christmas Gift

If you've been reading this blog lately, you know I've mentioned how Christmas compounds your already tenuous financial situation. But God has been faithful to provide enough for us to get a couple of small gifts for the kids. On top of that the kids have been amazingly great with the idea of celebrating a new holiday family tradition...Tax Check Christmas! It's no festivus (if you're a Seinfeld fan) but I am considering leaving up the decorations, wrapping the gifts and having a relaxing Christmas in February.

But God just went and did something so like Him...He surprised us with another gift...this time an Xbox 360! Dale won it at work yesterday! How fun to come home and tell the kids that Christmas came early.

A Christmas Carol

Today, I started reading Dicken's A Christmas Carol to the kids. We watched the Disney version with Jim Carrey a few nights ago and although when I first saw it, I almost fell asleep in the theatre...I remember thinking that this was probably the version most like the book that I've ever seen. But watching it the other night, I think I was struck for the first time what an indictment the story is to those who are well off...yet ignore the impoverished all around them. There's a scene with several ghosts that really drives home this message.

Then this morning, I was looking for some "Christmasy" things to do for school. I found some websites for home schooling references regarding A Christmas Carol and there was a quote from the book that hit me right where we're living. Because of our family's emphasis on learning to serve others...especially the widow, the orphan and the deeply impoverished (all common themes of Dicken's works), I knew A Christmas Carol needed to be our "Christmas school" for this year.

Here's the quote that helped me make up my mind: "(Christmas-time is) the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys." (Fred, Scrooge's nephew)

Hmmm?? We're all fellow passengers to the grave and those "below" us are not another race of creatures bound on a different journey.

What if we lived every day like this? Not just at Christmas. I'm not even sure that we in America could even honestly say that our Christmas-time giving is the same as it used to be...could we? I noticed the Salvation Army bell ringers out earlier than usual. Is that because of greediness or because they know their giving is down and they needed to get a jump start with people thinking about giving their leftovers...their change? One friend posted on Facebook that one bell ringer she spoke to said people had even been making nasty comments because they were out there early.

The other thing that comes to mind is our shopping. Is what we're buying empowering people to become independent and sustainable...or is it enslaving and degrading them through severely inadequate wages and a loan/wage form of payment that keeps them enslaved to their job? In other words, is our Christmas spending creating "peace on Earth and goodwill toward men" or is it sustaining sweatshops and slavery?

Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not! But God is changing my heart and opening my eyes how I can be more responsible. Buying Fair Trade items is always an easy place to start. And this fall I was introduced to an organization called Stop Traffick Fashion. They sell items from companies that help free women from trafficking and bondage to slavery and/or prostitution. Buying from a group like this helps my gift have a dual purpose...something for the recipient and help to a woman half a world away. This is just one organization, there are many more out there and with a little bit of extra effort  and usually not that much more expense, you could make a difference in the lives of the deeply impoverished.

I concede that I'm not 100% aware of the destination of every penny I spend. And we still do our fair share of wasting...but it's a start. And if we would all just start supporting local businesses, avoiding retailers or labels or products that are known for degrading practices or sub-standard wages, maybe one day Tiny Tim's words would ring true..."God bless us...everyone!"

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