A few months ago our pastor spoke about giving and ever since I've been asking myself this question: "How do I give out of my poverty?" Whether the poverty of my finances, my emotions or my spirit...when I feel like I have nothing left to give, how does God still want me to give? I have ruminated on this question extensively.
Over the last year, I've also been introduced to writers and speakers Brandon and Jen Hatmaker. This husband and wife duo had their world Interrupted when they attended a worship gathering where Shane Claiborne of The Simple Way asked everyone in attendance to donate their shoes to the homeless. As Brandon turned around to, for the first time, witness a Barefoot Church, he and Jen knew their lives would never be the same.
Exactly one year ago this past week, our family had the amazing blessing of visiting The Simple Way and although we may not have gotten to see as much about how they work, live and serve among their inner city neighbors as I would have liked, this lady saw enough to know these are people completely sold out and surrendered to living the way Jesus called us all to live.
Fast forward to today when I stood in worship of a Savior that may take a year or more to put a whole lot of situations and circumstances in place to teach me one powerful lesson...but He did. And I had the tears rolling down my cheeks to prove it.
Why?
Because last summer, trying to be more financially responsible and recognizing that Mary Poppins was perfectly correct when she quipped, "Enough is as good as a feast!", I purchased only one shirt, one skirt and one pair of sandals for that vacation to Philadelphia and The Simple Way. I think the whole ensemble cost me less than $30. In other words, it's not like it was fancy. But...I only purchase one pair of sandals/flip-flops per year usually and I was still wearing one old, dirty everyday pair and was on my second season with a pair I really liked but was showing it's age. These new, simple sandals with a silver strap were my "nice, church" pair (God does have an amazing sense of humor!). But, I loved those sandals. (love, in the American usage of how we love things)
Since I've been trudging along through Jen Hatmaker's book 7 this year and trying to avoid the trap of excess in my life, I decided this summer, I would make do with the three pairs of sandals from last year...the now 4 year old dirty, yard, everyday pair, the now 3 year old pair that I love, but the strap is hanging on by a thread and the now 2 year old pair with the silver strap that I wear for "nice". And I was content.
[You gotta know where this is going, don't you?]
This morning as we headed out to church, I was wearing the 3 year olds and as I have gotten in the habit of doing the last few times I've worn them, I grabbed the silver 2 year olds "just in case" my toddlers decided to break apart. I don't treasure the thought of being in my local Kroger in bare feet. The local Kroger probably wouldn't like that either, so I've been going out prepared.
Our current sermon series is focusing on the lessons we can learn about God through Creation. Today, Pastor Marksberry spoke about God as Provider. He ended the sermon with asking us...to give away the shoes we are wearing and leave barefoot so our shoes could go to a local organization that will distribute them globally. This was done very politely and without any pressure, yet unapologetically...as it should be.
As we took communion and I took a quick survey of my family's footwear, my first thought was, "But none of us are wearing shoes that anyone would want. They're all worn out, on their last leg and mine are about to break."
[By now...I'm sure you must realize what happened]
Hot on the heels of this first thought was the Holy Spirit's reminder, "But you have an extra pair in your van."
I wish I could say I instantly said, "Okay...sure". But I have to be honest and admit that I struggled for a minute or two. You see, this was my nice pair He was asking me to give away...not the dirty, yard pair or the pair hanging on by a thread. And what began resonating throughout my head, my heart and my soul was this: You knew. You knew they were going to ask this. You knew I would have that pair in my van. You knew I would sit here struggling.
Then everything I've read about the Hatmakers experience, everything I've read and know about Shane Claiborne and The Simple Way, everything I've been asking Him to purge me of in the excess of my culture came to a silent breaking point for me. I don't know what everyone around me was thinking. I don't even know if anyone else donated any shoes. I may have been sitting there quietly, prayerfully, even reverently during that communion...but Baby, I promise you my soul was on the edge of its seat ready to jump up and fly.
Why?
Because last year, I wore those sandals on the very sidewalks and streets where Shane Claiborne and The Simple Way live out the call of Jesus for justice, mercy and love for the marginalized of our society. Of course, Holy Spirit would ask me to give away the pair of shoes I own that have a little Philadelphia dirt on them.
Please do not read into anything I wrote here that I need a new pair of sandals or that I have somehow "arrived" because God has broken through and taught me "how to give out of my poverty". I can promise you that I will be absolutely fine and God, as usual, will continue to provide for my needs. Walking back into that church to drop off that silly little pair of sandals I knew with every fiber of my being that the greatest gift my Abba gave me on this Father's Day is that I no longer have to ask the wrong question.
Instead of asking how I can give out of my poverty, He is pleading with me to ask the right one:
How do I give out of my Abba's abundance?
Amen.
Over the last year, I've also been introduced to writers and speakers Brandon and Jen Hatmaker. This husband and wife duo had their world Interrupted when they attended a worship gathering where Shane Claiborne of The Simple Way asked everyone in attendance to donate their shoes to the homeless. As Brandon turned around to, for the first time, witness a Barefoot Church, he and Jen knew their lives would never be the same.
Exactly one year ago this past week, our family had the amazing blessing of visiting The Simple Way and although we may not have gotten to see as much about how they work, live and serve among their inner city neighbors as I would have liked, this lady saw enough to know these are people completely sold out and surrendered to living the way Jesus called us all to live.
Fast forward to today when I stood in worship of a Savior that may take a year or more to put a whole lot of situations and circumstances in place to teach me one powerful lesson...but He did. And I had the tears rolling down my cheeks to prove it.
Why?
Because last summer, trying to be more financially responsible and recognizing that Mary Poppins was perfectly correct when she quipped, "Enough is as good as a feast!", I purchased only one shirt, one skirt and one pair of sandals for that vacation to Philadelphia and The Simple Way. I think the whole ensemble cost me less than $30. In other words, it's not like it was fancy. But...I only purchase one pair of sandals/flip-flops per year usually and I was still wearing one old, dirty everyday pair and was on my second season with a pair I really liked but was showing it's age. These new, simple sandals with a silver strap were my "nice, church" pair (God does have an amazing sense of humor!). But, I loved those sandals. (love, in the American usage of how we love things)
Since I've been trudging along through Jen Hatmaker's book 7 this year and trying to avoid the trap of excess in my life, I decided this summer, I would make do with the three pairs of sandals from last year...the now 4 year old dirty, yard, everyday pair, the now 3 year old pair that I love, but the strap is hanging on by a thread and the now 2 year old pair with the silver strap that I wear for "nice". And I was content.
[You gotta know where this is going, don't you?]
This morning as we headed out to church, I was wearing the 3 year olds and as I have gotten in the habit of doing the last few times I've worn them, I grabbed the silver 2 year olds "just in case" my toddlers decided to break apart. I don't treasure the thought of being in my local Kroger in bare feet. The local Kroger probably wouldn't like that either, so I've been going out prepared.
Our current sermon series is focusing on the lessons we can learn about God through Creation. Today, Pastor Marksberry spoke about God as Provider. He ended the sermon with asking us...to give away the shoes we are wearing and leave barefoot so our shoes could go to a local organization that will distribute them globally. This was done very politely and without any pressure, yet unapologetically...as it should be.
As we took communion and I took a quick survey of my family's footwear, my first thought was, "But none of us are wearing shoes that anyone would want. They're all worn out, on their last leg and mine are about to break."
[By now...I'm sure you must realize what happened]
Hot on the heels of this first thought was the Holy Spirit's reminder, "But you have an extra pair in your van."
I wish I could say I instantly said, "Okay...sure". But I have to be honest and admit that I struggled for a minute or two. You see, this was my nice pair He was asking me to give away...not the dirty, yard pair or the pair hanging on by a thread. And what began resonating throughout my head, my heart and my soul was this: You knew. You knew they were going to ask this. You knew I would have that pair in my van. You knew I would sit here struggling.
Then everything I've read about the Hatmakers experience, everything I've read and know about Shane Claiborne and The Simple Way, everything I've been asking Him to purge me of in the excess of my culture came to a silent breaking point for me. I don't know what everyone around me was thinking. I don't even know if anyone else donated any shoes. I may have been sitting there quietly, prayerfully, even reverently during that communion...but Baby, I promise you my soul was on the edge of its seat ready to jump up and fly.
Why?
Because last year, I wore those sandals on the very sidewalks and streets where Shane Claiborne and The Simple Way live out the call of Jesus for justice, mercy and love for the marginalized of our society. Of course, Holy Spirit would ask me to give away the pair of shoes I own that have a little Philadelphia dirt on them.
Please do not read into anything I wrote here that I need a new pair of sandals or that I have somehow "arrived" because God has broken through and taught me "how to give out of my poverty". I can promise you that I will be absolutely fine and God, as usual, will continue to provide for my needs. Walking back into that church to drop off that silly little pair of sandals I knew with every fiber of my being that the greatest gift my Abba gave me on this Father's Day is that I no longer have to ask the wrong question.
Instead of asking how I can give out of my poverty, He is pleading with me to ask the right one:
How do I give out of my Abba's abundance?
Amen.
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