Who Da Thunk It??

Today my husband and I mark 20 years together as a married pair. I remember it was an excessively windy day, but I never dreamed how the winds of change would blow through our lives. About 10 years in, I very seriously asked myself, "If we'd known then, what we would experience along the way...would we have even taken the leap?"

The thing is, I can't imagine anyone else that I know that would have put up with my quirks, my ill-timed silly humor, my temper and all the baggage I unloaded into our home the day we joined up for this Journey. He has patiently waited while God has grown me and I wish I could say my patience has always run as deeply as his.

We've had hurdle after hurdle thrown at us and although I know it pales in comparison to what many have had to endure, it would have been enough to undo many others. In fact, as I've watched some marriages unravel over the years, I have also wondered exactly what has kept us together?

I know we are both too stubborn to ever concede defeat and although it's been tough at times and it's never been "perfect", I think my refusal to "lose" at anything has made me dig in my heels and fight the good fight on more than one occasion. Speaking of fighting...if you're under the deception that a "good couple" never fights...let me be the first to advocate for a good fair fight.

I said "fair".

I have discovered that sometimes to get to the heart of the matter, you just have to scoop through all of the yuck to get that nugget of truth that your marriage really needs to survive. For some reason, fighting (a.k.a. an intense discussion) has been a good tool for us to cut through the yuck much faster. Having a hyper-analytical brain may help, but I will also always presume that God's Holy Spirit will give discernment to anyone who asks. In the midst of the battle, having that discernment reminds you the fight is never about the ____________________. (insert any pet peeve you have with your spouse) No, there is always a deeper issue at hand.

Did I say battle? 

Absolutely!

Because if you think for one minute that you can call yourself a follower of Jesus and that you can be married free of attack and blissfully peaceful all the day long...then, you have already invited the Enemy into your camp.

You see, satan would love nothing more than to tear your family apart and cause a devastating wake to follow you for generations to come. He will do everything he can to rip you apart...and you can even be apart and still under the same roof. And maybe that's one more reason that after 20 years I'm still just as determined to make this thing work:  I don't ever want to hand a victory to my Enemy. I guess it's a good thing God made me as competitive as I am...because I know my number one Adversary is just waiting for us to throw in the towel.

Now, I hope after all of this, you don't read into my life any sense of failure, despondency, doubt or grievance against my spouse. No...I just want to be honest that this Journey has been much harder than I could ever have dreamed. Some of that has been our fault, some has been hurled at us by forces outside ourselves and some of it was the fingerprints on our souls of generations that preceded us who never took the time or the energy to break out of the yuck that had been handed down to them.

I said this morning on Facebook, "What a ride. Good think I picked a guy that loves roller coasters," and that probably sums up this Journey better than anything else. But here's why I'm a little more reflective on this anniversary I think than in years previously: 

With everything that God has been teaching me about Living the Vision...which translates into Kingdom living, now...not later...I have to ask myself a few questions.

• If in God's timing we found each other, and through His mercy and grace He has challenged us to break the cycles of prior generations, and He gave us the dogged determination to not throw in the towel...to what purpose for His glory and Kingdom renewal could He accomplish with a couple that would throw off the fetters of this world and run with reckless abandon toward the Vision He has for them.
• And what would He accomplish in them, and through them, if they really believed that the Vision is now?

So whether we have 2, 20 or even more years left together until He calls us Home, I can't think of a better Partner on this Journey to stubbornly, determinedly, and sometimes foolishly run toward the best our Father has to give us. We may not be perfect...but we are perfectly fitted for the work our Abba has for us!

Amen!