Sunday, May 29, 2011

"The Way We Get By"

I love to watch documentaries. Often I prefer to watch a documentary instead of a movie. On Netflix last night, I watched this one, The Way We Get By.


The film follows three senior citizens who are part of a larger group of people in Bangor, Maine that greet troop planes. Ever since the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq began, they have personally welcomed home every U.S. soldier whose plane has landed in Bangor. As of the end of filming, this totaled over 750,000 soldiers!

Apparently, Bangor is one of the major entry and exit airports for our troops. And the airport has even given this group of people a room to show military memorabilia, post all the casualties from the current conflicts, give the troops snacks and have cell phones available free of charge for the soldiers to call anyone in the U.S. once they land.

More than one time I choked up at the thought of what these young boys and girls have done. And many of the senior citizens that volunteer for this served in WWII or the Korean conflict. One of the men, Bill, (almost 90) showed that his farm was in complete disarray. He was walking on trash in his home and near bankruptcy, yet every day sometimes 3 to 4 times a day...even if the plane arrives at 3:30 in the morning...he is there ready to be the first friendly face these troops see when they step foot on U.S. soil.

This documentary reminded me of a book I once read about a town in North Dakota that was situated along a railroad station and the people in several counties around it took turn fixing food, pouring coffee and greeting every troop that came through there. Again, it was a major stopping point no matter whether the train was head west to the Pacific or east toward Europe.

These people didn't say they served these soldiers because of God or any higher calling than just the fact that they wanted the men and women serving our country to know that they are appreciated. And these are not just blind patriots...two of the three people followed in the film voiced concern or disagreement with why we are involved in these conflicts anyway. But, they knew that no matter their personal beliefs, these soldiers are putting their lives on the line for us and they deserve to be welcomed home.

As I watched this film, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if we Christians would mobilize in such a concentrated effort to make a difference in one area at a time. We can't all go to the same place...but if we banded together in small groups and dedicated our lives...no matter the time, no matter the cost...to focus our energy on one specific mission...what would the world look like? hmmm?

Saturday, May 28, 2011

A Gentle Reminder for Me

It's taken me two days to work through a one day lesson in Living Beyond Yourself. And it's been God's gentle reminder to me, right when I need it. His little love notes of assurance continue to strengthen my faith exactly at the right time.

"We live in a culture motivated by one major goal-- a little more. We work too hard and make too little. We have more than enough to live complicated lives, but less than enough to be contented." Isn't it interesting (or maybe just plain amazing!) that Beth Moore puts into words about 7 years ago precisely what I've been learning over the last 2 1/2 years? Coincidence? I think not!

God is calling each of us to this place of surrendering everything...absolutely everything. And what I'm sensing over and over again is this undercurrent in our American churches that there just has to be more than what we've allowed ourselves to believe. Books being written by Francis Chan, David Platt, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Rich Stearns and others; entire churches going through books like Crazy Love, Radical and studies in James and Philippians that are making them call into question exactly where their priorities (and thus, money) should be placed; as well as, the discontent that I hear, see and read in so many lives that just know there has to be more to this life, makes me ask, "God what are You doing? This is not random...I know! You are creating a groundswell of Your people that desire above all else to be sold out and surrendered to You and You alone. What amazing things do You have planned?"

I know I'm going to offend some people here, but capitalism is NOT the teaching of Jesus. I watched a documentary a few months ago from a very liberal filmmaker in which he interviewed a few priests about this question..."Is capitalism Christian?" Without hesitation the priest, the bishop and the archbishop each said "No!" 'And in fact, it's often the exact opposite,' they added.

Have we allowed ourselves to confuse capitalism with democracy? Capitalism is a grasping for more...the opposite of what Jesus lived and taught. While democracy is freedom. Obviously, democracy is much more in tune with what Jesus offered us...possibly that's why so many nations fight and die for it!? And maybe God's creating a discontentment with chasing after "things" in His people so that we'll shake it off and get angry enough with the evil and injustice in the world to stand up and say "Enough! No matter the cost, no matter the pain, no matter the shame, I will serve the LORD!"

These past two days, Beth Moore's study guided me to Ecclesiastes, a book written by King Solomon and it's not a pretty picture of a rich man's reflections. As Dale said last night, Christian financial gurus like to quote all of the cute little phrases from Proverbs about how amassing wealth is wise and only the foolish live for the day...but these "gurus" don't often quote the reflective Solomon that in his old age said things like,

(Okay, I just have to insert the irony here that my iPod just randomly started playing, "Money, Money, Money", the Abba song from Mama Mia. Ha! Father, You have a great sense of humor!!!)

"Meaningless! Meaningless!
Says the Teacher (Solomon)
Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless!" (Ecc. 1:2)

"I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." (Ecc. 1:14)

"Then I hated all my labor in which I had toiled under the sun, because I must leave it to the man who will come after me. And who knows whether he will be wise or a fool?" (Ecc. 2:18-19a)

"The sleep of a laboring man is sweet,
Whether he eats little or much;
But the abundance of the rich will not permit him to sleep.

There is severe evil which I have seen under the sun;
Riches kept for their owner to his hurt.
But those riches perish through misfortune;
When he begets a son, there is nothing in his hand.
As he came from his mother's womb, naked shall he return,
To go as he came;
And he shall take nothing from his labor
Which he may carry away in his hand." (Ecc. 5:12-15)

As I read the beginning of this chapter 5 passage to Dale last night, he said, 'I can verify that (about sweet sleep). Since I've left Fifth Third, I've probably only had five to ten nights that I had trouble sleeping. When I was at Fifth Third, I lost a lot of sleep.'

How can a couple that doesn't know where the rent money will come from have sweet sleep? Only when we believe God at His Word!

But even back in Proverbs, King Solomon said this,

"Better is a little with the fear of the LORD,
Thank great treasure with trouble.
Better is a dinner of vegetables where love is,
Than a fatted calf with hatred." (Prov. 15:16-17)

You better believe I just put verse 17 on our dining area white board...one MORE proof to my kids that vegetarianism or veganism is the way to go! Hah!

But seriously, if you just look at this without strict application to dietary guidelines, I WAS for years feeding my children with the "fat of the calf" yet instilling in them bitterness and hatred and even a compulsion to have more. When we began to have little or in this verse, "vegetables" I can truly say there is MUCH more love in our home! I'm not focused on taking care of "stuff" as much as I used to be...which frees up more energy just to be a wife, mother and child of God.

A dear friend said to me last summer when we were trying to get rid of the garage space we were renting "Just the mental energy it takes to keep track of all that stuff is exhausting!" And she was right. How many times have a yelled at my kids over the years for not taking care of their "stuff"? When really, isn't taking care of our souls, hearts and minds for God MUCH more important??

At the end of this lesson, I read an amazing passage in I Timothy 6:6-10: "6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced temselves through with many sorrows."

Now, I have heard verse 10 discussed many times. And Christians are always quick to point out that it's the "love of money" not the money itself that is the root of all kinds of evil. I guess I'd first point out that I don't think I've EVER heard this verse taught in the context of the preceding four verses, but, I also take issue with this theory. While grammatically, it's a true statement, I've never known anyone that struggled with the "love" of money, unless they had too much of it to spare. And believe me, this is directed back at myself too!!

I really don't know that many very wealthy people...but I know a whole lot of people that have way more than enough.

And what does Paul say in verse 8? "And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content." Even in our economically depressed circumstances, I can't honestly say that this is true for me. I notice he didn't include a home (or even shelter!) in this statement. Could that be because Paul knew God would provide a place with fellow believers for him to sleep or it just wasn't a priority? After all, if the "Son of Man has no place to lay His head" (Luke 9:58) as a follower of the Son of Man, why would Paul expect any differently?? Yes, this IS a scary thought for a mother with four children and truthfully, I'm still struggling with the thought that it IS possible to sink even lower than we already have.

In the meantime, as long as God allows, we will continue to endeavor to give out of the little bit of abundance that we have. For this week, it's buying some items for a Alabama Tornado Disaster Relief that our church is doing. Wow! Just when I think my situation is pitiable, I see others with even less than we have. We really are blessed, aren't we?

And Beth Moore concludes the day with these words of promise and hope: "He knows our needs. He knows our vulnerabilities. He knows what we can endure...yet remain faithful. All things are His to give and His to take, but never ours to pursue. Our is to gladly recieve and gladly return."

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34)
Amen!

Mentioned in this post:




Wednesday, May 25, 2011

This Will Be a Long Lesson

I began on Monday to learn about self-control as it is manifested in the fruit that the Holy Spirit wants to produce in a Jesus follower's life. This is the last fruit of the Spirit in Living Beyond Yourself, the Beth Moore Bible study that I've been working through.

And I now know what my next big lesson will be...food...or more accurately, my worship of it. If you know me, it's obvious that I struggle with food. And if you've known me very long, you've probably seen my weight go up and down several times over the years. But I've known ever since I went through The Weigh Down Diet 12 years ago, that this is a spiritual issue. I fervently believe that it is also a spiritual struggle for anyone that struggles with their weight.

You can talk to me all you want about genes, metabolism, carbs, fat grams, sugar, portion control, meat vs. vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, exercise, yoga, etc., etc., but I will always come back to 'It is a heart issue.' If I am overweight, it is because at some time in my life, I have worshipped food instead of worshipping God. To quote an old church cliche', I've had the wrong thing on the "throne of my heart".

Now true, I could be eating in moderation, exercising, etc., now but because I shot my metabolism in the past, I can't lose weight...but I still contend that in some way, at some time excessive weight is a result of not just a lack of discipline, lack of self-control or lack of desire. It's ulitmately, a lack of turning to God when I am stressed, worried, celebrating, excitied, or tired, but rather, turning to food instead.

And honestly, you may believe it's hereditary, only because you've never known any differently. But someone, somewhere in your family tree started shoving down their feelings and emotions with food. So while we're told it could be genetic, it's more likely that it's behavioraly-genetic (yes, I just coined a new phrase!). My kids are living proof of this. I took very intentional steps to NOT pass down my obsession with food. In some ways, even as diligent as I've attempted to be, they have still learned some of my behaviors. But, praise the Lord, the cycle of childhood obesity has been stopped in my children.

And I know I'm not alone in pursuing emotional comfort instead of God. Perhaps the number one spiritual issue that distracts we Americans from being able to accomplish miraculous things through the power of the Holy Spirit is our lack of self-control or put another way...our over indulgence. It could be overindulgence in food, sex, alcohol, TV, internet, or anything. I'm sure many cultures are suceptible to this, but maybe ours more than any other. Just look around you...we have an excess of everything...everywhere we look.

I watched a documentary recently called Food Matters. One gentleman contended that Americans almost don't have a choice but to be fat. Just in the last 20 years or so, every place you go now, food is available. It's everywhere...even at the gas station, the coffee shop, the bookstore, and the library. And how many fast food places do you pass on your way to any destination that you may be going? (Don't even get me started on how we're bombarded by sexual images and attacts on our God-given sexuality!)

But none of this justifies my over indulgence. And you may be feeling pretty smug right now thinking that you don't have a problem with food. But maybe for you it's exercise, buying stuff, gossip, cleaning your house, playing video games or watching TV. Honestly, I'm beginning to believe that anything I spend more time doing than I spend time talking with God or reading His Word is an idol and at some point He is going to start attempting to root it out. After all, isn't the first of the Ten Commandments, "You should have no other gods before Me."?

Sorry if I'm stepping on any toes...but trust me...mine are nearly crushed!

Also, I've learned through 30 years of dieting failures that this isn't about finding the right way to count calories, portion control, stepping up my exercise routine or becoming the "biggest loser". This is about submission to an Almighty God who created my body to begin with and CAN be trusted to tell me what to put into it and when. I actually learned the theory behind this over 15 years ago when my first child was born. When she was fed on demand as a newborn, it just clicked that 'If God created us this way, what happens to make us lose this natural hunger/satisfaction control?'

But knowing this is the way God created us and putting it into practice are vastly different skills. As I implied earlier, I even went through a weight loss program at our church 12 years ago that was based on this premise. The Weight Down Diet used Scripture to reveal to you how God designed our bodies to only eat when we're hungry and then only eat until we're satisfied. Anything else is idolatry. But again, head knowledge is not heart knowledge.

As James wrote, (my paraphrase) 'We shouldn't just be hearers of the Word, but also doers of the Word.' (James 1:21-25) I finally feel like I'm allowing the Holy Spirit to permeate every known part of me. Every morning, I pray through my confessions and concerns to Him and ask Him to fill every single fiber of my being. I invite Him to work in and through me and to have total control. Doesn't it make since that He would begin to say..."Angela, there's not room in here for Me and food. You're going to have to choose. One choice will bring you Life. One will bring you death. You choose, but I want you to choose Me."

The Life He will give doesn't mean I'm going to live to be 100. I still live in a fallen world where we're exposed to toxins and stressors that can cause cancer at any time. And my continued Vegan lifestyle is not so I can reach the age of 120. I just feel better when I don't eat meat or dairy. But ultimately, I know that's not the issue. I can still be overweight eating bread, fruits, veggies and nuts. Or even if I'm not overweight, if I'm obsessed with writing down what I eat, tracking points, fat grams or calories...I'm not trusting the One who wants to have control of everything.

So while this won't be a fun part of the journey, I know it's a necessity. And the joy that will result will be worth all of the tears and pain. If I'm to live a crucified life, how can I not be willing to give Him everything? Even my love of food!

Amazed Again

I need to catch up giving praise to my Father in heaven.

Last week was Noah's 13th birthday and I specifically prayed to have enough money to buy him a small present and buy the ingredients to fix whatever he might want for his birthday dinner. I'm being challenged by the Holy Spirit to be more specific in my requests. So instead of just praying for God's general provision, when a need arises, I'm learning to pray specifically for it to be met.

And while these things weren't a need for me, in the eyes of my now teenage son, it would have been. His is the first birthday in our family where we didn't have enough money to take the birthday person out to eat. Going out to eat has always been our family's "thing". Now, it's one of the luxuries we shouldn't afford.

But praise God, my bonus check came early from Jackson Hewitt...one week early to be exact. And we were even able to let Noah choose between a dinner out or seeing the new "Pirates of the Carribean" movie at a matinee. He chose the movie and we had fun.

Thanks Abba for coming through in Your perfect timing...as always.

And Noah's choice for his homemade birthday dinner? Buffalo Chicken Dip...yes, a dip. It seems my vegan choices are not appreciated when it comes to birthday dinners. ;-)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Praying for the World

If you've read David Platt's Radical, at the end of the book, he extends the Radical Challenge. One portion of the challenge is to pray for a different country every day for one year.


One resource to help you do this is written by Operation World. They have a book, CD-ROM, DVD or online tools that direct your prayers and give you information about the politics, religion and current status of every nation in the world.

Our family has just started doing this and it's quickly becoming a highlight of my mornings. We're using the website http://www.operationworld.org/ and we're also marking each country on blank maps (both a global one and regional ones) so that way we're studying world geography too...you gotta LOVE home schooling! So far we've learned about Afghanistan, Albania, Algeria and American Samoa.

But whether you home school or not, the website is worth a look. You'll quickly become aware that there's a whole big world out there full of people that have never heard of Jesus or the sacrifice He made for them.

And if you're really up for a challenge, read Radical, take the Radical Challenge and prepare to be forever changed!

Thanks for the Help Ladies!

Last Friday night, our homeschool co-op hosted a Single Moms Night Out Event. Six moms took advantage of the free childcare so they could have a much deserved night out. We had a total of 10 children and from the reports I've heard, Kari's bingo games were the hightlight of the evening. Thanks for bringing it Kari!

Also, thanks to all the other ladies that donated items or money, Karen, Andrea, Julie H., Stephanie and to Andrea & Kari for helping our family with the childcare that evening. I'm sure I've forgotten someone...please forgive me if I have.

All of the moms were very appreciative and agreed to give us their contact info for future events. So overall, I hope that we were able to encourage these moms who carry a heavier load than many of us can imagine.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Through or From?

I took a one week detour from discussing some of what I've been learning in Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself, because I so very much wanted to write what I was learning about giving as God is applying it to my life. And honestly, Moore's week on the fruit of the Spirit that manifests as kindness and goodness wasn't speaking to me the way the other weeks have. I don't know why, other than I felt compelled to write last week's blogs and may have been a bit distracted. But this week, the Holy Spirit is back in full force teaching me through His Word and the words He gave Beth Moore to share in this study.

This week's topic is Faithfulness. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23) I KNOW God has been faithful to me and to our family...and not just in our present circumstances. For as long as I can think back in our married life, His hand has consistently been apparent even if the results of His leading seemed to take a long time to complete. And He has often been kind enough to prepare our hearts ahead of time when there is "somthing coming", as I like to call it.

But this week as I went through the daily lessons, sometimes feeling led to do 2 or 3 days of lessons each day, I was overcome with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and goodness at the remembrances of an Abba (Daddy) that has been more faithful than I could ever express. And as I'm beginning to believe will be the norm, Holy Spirit's timing about what He's teaching me was perfect! I went to church Sunday morning not knowing the topic of the day and guess what? Now, you KNOW it had to be faithfulness! Isn't He good?!

I appreciate how Moore always starts with the premise that we are NEVER capable of attaining any of the fruit of the Spirit unless God is the One growing it in us. I'm ashamed to say that as a teenager, steeped in a legalistic church environment and not having parents that I could bounce my spiritual questions off of, I posted an index card with these attributes of the Spirit and thought, "Okay, if I just work on love first, get that one under my belt, then I can work on having more joy...once I've got that one down, I'll move on to peace."

You probably know how well that worked...it didn't! Over the years I've been blessed to have Bible teachers, preachers, authors cross paths with me and a faithful Holy Spirit that has awakened me to the fact that I can't possibly "accomplish" putting the fruit into practice. Moore is driving this lesson home every day in this study.

She writes, "we will never believe God until we allow ourselves to discover that He is believable!" And, "the degree of our faithfulness is the direct result of our regard for God's faithfulness." "The faithfulness of God is His believability!" She spends a lot of time in the study having you reexamine HOW God has been faithful in His Word, His prophecies and in our own lives.

And when she asked me to seriously consider if I believe God because of "who He is" or because of "what He does", I had to stop and chew on that for awhile. In a meeting just this Saturday, I said to a group of Christians, 'So what if we fail in the world's eyes...it will still have been for our good and God's glory so we can't fail. We just have to be obedient.' I felt like yesterday Holy Spirit was asking me to examine my heart and see if I truly believe this.

Moore points out that if we have faith based on what God does, we are always going to be subject to life's ups and downs. After all, "the only thing we can count on is change." Right?

But my God is bigger than changing circumstances. Isn't He? And I found great comfort in a prayer she shared that she prays when in a confusing or painful situation. "God, I can't understand why You're doing this. But I know that, unlike me, Your actions cannot be inconsistent with Your heart, and I know Your heart is loving, good, and faithful. Somehow, some way, somewhere all these things are for good. If I could just know You better through this, that is all the good I need."

Yesterday, I was experiencing a lot of doubt about some choices we've made. Yet when we made those choices, we were certain that it was God's will for our family. I found myself aware that it was depressing me...causing fear and I thought Holy Spirit was calling me to reevaluate our situation and that some tough choices might need to be made.

But as I prayed over and over again, "Lord, I will believe You because of who You are, not because of what You do," the Holy Spirit reminded me that He is not the author of fear and doubt. He never uses confusion to speak to us. And as if a lightbulb went off in my head, I was able to say, "This isn't from You. Help me see You." The fear had been almost palpable but in that instant it fell away and the peace that only God can give was restored! Praise His Name!

Then today, I listened to Beth Moore's video session on Faithfulness and I'm not sure I can even express how much it meant to me to relive the faithfulness God has demonstrated in my life. Moore begins with a few scriptures in a portion of Hebrews that is known as the faithful Hall of Fame. The author of Hebrews recounts person after person in the Old Testament that believed God, acted on that faith and through whom God accomplished remarkable, amazing feats. And tucked away in three little verses is the following, "And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. (Hebrews 11:32-34)

Do you see what I emphasized? These men...two cowards, a bragging philanderer that squandored his supernatural strength on a woman, an adulterer and murderer and a prophet whose sons took bribes, perverted justice and didn't follow in their father's footsteps were able 'through faith to subdue kingdoms.' What?

And Moore points to the word through. Why? Because often God chooses to deliver us through our circumstances and not from them. Sure God could carry us over, around or under our current situation. But if He is the Abba that will always work out everything for my good and His glory, then maybe the best way to deliver me is through the crisis, pain, unexpected situation or devastation that has happened.

In Exodus 13:17-18, God knew He had to let the Israelites go around the Philistines because they would give up if they had to battle them. They weren't ready yet. So Moore makes the statement, "A greater call to faith...is a faith that is called to press through. It's going to take a whole lot more faith to go through." And look back at that list of "faithful" men. God obviously wants to use the weak to make them strong. "For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe." (I Corinthians 1:21) It's pretty common for God to use the wrong person, the weak person, the person that has nothing for themselves to "subdue kingdoms". Then, He is the only One to receive the glory...then, He is the only One that could possibly have done the work.

And what kingdoms are slayed? Ephesians 2:2 tells that satan is the ruler of the kingdom of the air and Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

When my world is crashing down around me can I remember that there is a whole "other" part to this struggle? Lord, let me never forget that this is more than just my piddly troubles. There is a big picture and You are in complete control of it. And I once heard that if we can just remember that as Christians, nothing comes to us that hasn't come through God...allowed by Him, then there is freedom in knowing that it is for our good. I am not saying that He tempts us or causes someone to sin against us. We live in a fallen world where sin abounds. But there is no situation that because of His faithfulness to us cannot be used for our good and His glory.

I think that has to become one of my new catch phrases. "For my good and for His glory" needs to be right up there with "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30)

How does God bring me through? How do I open myself up to His work so He can be glorified? It sounds so simple but packs so much in one little word...pray. If you've ever known me, you know I have struggled with prayer. I'm sure this is an entirely different post...but for now I'll summarize by saying that as I have pursued a relationship with my Abba by talking to Him throughout my day, HE brings my thoughts back to Him over and over throughout the day, HE asks me to fast and pray, HE beckons to me when my brain wakes up in the morning and HE initiates the conversation.

And as I listen to Him drawing me near and I respond with an open heart and desire to know Him more, He just keeps pulling me in nearer, closer...seeking Him more. It's cyclical. So if you don't know God in this way...just start talking to Him...nothing formal...just talking. You may feel awkward...you may be in a situation right now where you're even resentful of what He's doing...that's okay, He's a big God, He can take it...tell Him exactly how you feel.

Who knows what He has planned for you? It may even be that "through faith (you)conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies" (Hebrews 11:33-34)

Are there dark kingdoms you'd like to conquer? Do you know someone or a people that needs justice? Are there some lions in your life whose mouths you'd like shut? Any flames you'd like quenched? Then He's ready to turn your weakness into strength and make you powerful in battle.

Pick up your shield...it's called faith! (Ephesians 6:16) And you can absolutely count on Him to be faithful! So far He's batting a 1000 regarding His prophecies in the Bible...I think He can be counted on to have your back!



End Note: I wish I could attach the soundtrack that's been playing through my Ipod Shuffle as I was writing this. Keep in mind, Shuffles play songs in "random" order and about 8 of the last 10 songs have been about God's faithfulness. I think He wants me to count on Him! What do you think?

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Tithing, the Finale!

I know, you’re ready for this to be over, right?

So where am I in my personal struggle with the issue of tithing? Finally finding freedom, I think! If you’ve made it through all of these posts, then bless you…you’re a trooper. Whether anyone reads these or not doesn’t matter. It’s been very cathartic to me to go over again our journey to where God has brought us now.

What I’ve realized along the way is that the percentage you give just doesn’t matter…it should all be His anyway. And if one person giving 1% is just as sacrificial as someone that gives 90%, then 1% will be a blessed offering. You see, I go back to Francis Chan’s quote from Forgotten God, "I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit. I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn't be doing this by my own power. I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for Him to come through. That if He doesn't come through, I am screwed." (emphasis mine)

For our family, right now, just about any amount we give away means the Holy Spirit will have to come through. Is it irresponsible for us to give when it will require someone else to give to us? Some could argue yes, it is. I've heard too many times that we have to 'first be responsible, then give sacrificially'. But I can’t argue with a God that has given us literally thousands of dollars in the last year to provide for our needs (and a few wants too) and has allowed us, because of these gifts, to give away thousands as well.

Does this mean we live the rest of our lives dependent on the gifts of others? I don’t know…but probably not. As long as we’re seeking God’s will moment by moment and asking Him to strongly impress upon us by the power of His Spirit every gift we should give, every purchase we should make and every direction we should go, who am I to question if this is where He wants us for now? Maybe this is our ministry. And I have to be honest, if it is…I’m thrilled. Completely and utterly dependent upon Him is a great place to be. Is it easy? No. Is it safe? No. Is it comfortable? No.

But maybe that's exactly where God wants us!? David Platt writes in Radical, "We think, If it's dangerous, God must not be in it. If it's risky, if it's unsafe, if it's costly, it must not be God's will. But what if these factors are actually the criteria by which we determine something is God's will? What if we began to look at the design of God as the most dangerous option before us? What if the center of God's will is in reality the most unsafe place for us to be?" (emphasis mine)

If you’ve not learned this already, the Bible tells us that God holds a special place in His heart for the poor, the widow, and the orphan. We are commanded over and over again in His Word to care for those that cannot care for themselves. Jesus even said that one day God will say, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:40) And we didn't even know it!

Go back and read my posts from last summer about the book of James. You can NOT read James and not be challenged to do whatever it takes to serve this amazing God that has given us so much. After all “faith, if it has no works, is dead.” (James 2:17) I want to be alive…don’t you?! Sara Groves sings, “The glory of God is man fully alive. Look what I’ve been missin’”

So what does our giving now look like in a practical sense?

**First of all, I’m going to quit calling it tithe. That word just has too much baggage for me personally. And then that big ol’ 10% won't pop up in my head and keep me from seeing the bigger picture.

**The next thing is, I’m not going to feel locked into giving to one specific organization. My hope is that we will always prayerfully contemplate where God wants us to give and obediently follow the Holy Spirit’s leading.

**And last, as often as we can, we want to give in secret. This is biblical as well. There’s something very freeing in knowing that I’m not giving just so I can get a tax break. So yeah, that means we’ll even be giving cash to our local church instead of checks.

Bottom line, it is a heart issue…and it’s a huge heart issue in our American churches. David Platt writes in his new book, Radical Together,

that “Christians in North America give, on average, 2.5% of their income to their church. Out of that 2.5%, churches in North America will give 2% of their budgeted monies to needs overseas. In other words, for every one hundred dollars a North American Christian earns, he will give five cents through the church to a world with urgent spiritual and physical needs. This does not make sense.” I would add this is just sad!

In our house, everything is now on the table, we question everything and once again, I feel like God is just getting started. The deeper I go, the more I want to know Him and experience His supernatural power that brings supernatural results that only bring Him glory.

Are you ready? If you plodded through all of these ramblings of mine, then you must be asking similar questions. So dig into His Word, ask Him for yourself and wait for His answer. Get in the game, don’t sit on the sidelines…He’s looking for players…no, I mean He’s LOOKING for players. I can promise you it will be difficult, it will hurt to let things go, it will cost you something…but it will also be the most amazing, life-energizing, blessed experience of a journey you could ever have. Not to sound cliché but “it’s the ride of a lifetime!’

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Tithing, part 5

Today, I’ll ponder the unexpected answer I read to the question, “Should the jobless tithe on their unemployment benefits?” as posed in the March 2011 issue of Christianity Today. If you’re just now joining this epistle, please back up a few days to Tithing…an Introduction.



As I’ve stated previously, we’re no longer unemployed, but we make less than unemployment, so the question posed in the article, still intrigued me because there are many weeks when the thought of letting go of tithe money is very stressful. So I’m interpreting the question for us (and others) as, ‘Should the poor tithe?’ And the final commentator is Gary Moore, founder of Financial Seminary and author of Faithful Finances 101. Before I tell you what he wrote, I’ll add that I could reprint every word verbatim…but that is illegal…so I’ll try to limit myself to the best comments.

In short, his answer is “Probably Not”. I already liked him…but I really did try to read his comments objectively, critically and with the Holy Spirit’s discernment. But he seems to be writing from my heart AND knows the Biblical references to back up what he says.

He states that in Deuteronomy 14:22-29, ”the tithe was a celebration for the affluent and a gift to the less fortunate, including priests. The tithe was created in part to help those on the biblical equivalent of unemployment; requiring them to contribute to the offering when they should be receiving is an unhealthy inversion of the biblical mandate to give to the poor.”

He goes on to point out that the passage in Malachi 3:10 that is always quoted in tithing sermons and articles was not to “fund the temple’s institutional needs” but instead to make sure there was plenty of food available to the needy. The people paid temple taxes (maybe not a bad idea some pastors may say…might weed out anyone that’s just filling a pew!) but the “tithe was something more”.

Wouldn't most of us agree that the majority of the money contributed to American churches is used for buildings and programs? After all, multi-million dollar state-of-the-art facilities are not cheap! Moore goes on to say, “Most churches should therefore not expect the full biblical tithe, particularly if it’s to support a comfortable lifestyle for the church’s leaders.”

Someone who commented on a previous post of mine pointed out that the Israelites received the land, the animals, everything free and clear as God had promised. The tithe therefore was the inheritance of the Levites who did not inherit any land because they were the caretakers of the temple.

Moore does add that while giving should not be required for someone receiving unemployment, doing so is “undoubtedly a great act of faith”. He also states, “Requiring the poor and unemployed to tithe is an overly legalistic and harsh—and unbiblical—interpretation of Scripture.”

So where am I on this wide spectrum? Obviously, you can tell I’m more inclined to agree with Moore. I believe the poor should never be coerced into or made to feel guilty for not tithing. But God used this article, His Word and several years of struggling with the American concept of tithing to lead me to His heart. Tomorrow I’ll share what I believe He’s calling our family and our “tithe” to do for His Kingdom.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Tithing, part 4

(If you’ve just started reading my blog, please back up a few days to Tithing, an Introduction to fully understand today’s blog)

The second writer was Jim Sheppard, CEO of Generis, a consulting firm devoted to “expanding the generosity of churches and ministries.” His answer to the question, “Should the jobless tithe on unemployment benefits?” was “Yes, with generosity.”

Truthfully, I considered skipping his portion of the article. But I decided to begin and just prepare to be honked off. I was pleasantly surprised!

When Sheppard writes, “During these tough times, it is easy for church going, typically responsible Christians to fall off the radar as they deal with the shame of being unable to provide for themselves or their families.” I could again, empathize with this…I’ve been there!

I vividly remember within two days of Dale telling me he’d lost his job, knowing (only by the loving preparation of the Holy Spirit!) that this was our next big test. I knew this would not be an easy or quick fix and this experience would take us places we did not want to go. Looking back, I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit’s forewarning, yet there’s no way I could have envisioned all that He intended for us.

The second thing I remember determining within a few short days, was that we were not going to stay isolated. We were not going to wallow. We intentionally continued to invite people to our home and engage in relationship. Still, relationships, did change and at times, were even estranged.

God’s helped me process through this and the best explanation I can come up with is that our culture doesn’t prepare us for how to deal with the questions that arise when the ground gives way beneath a friend. When everything goes wrong, we look for a reason. We want to blame, justify, rationalize, etc…but sometimes, there’s just no obvious reason. And if we can't find a reason, it scares us that it could happen to us as well.

Our experience has taught me that I need to remember never to be the one to heap additional shame upon someone already at a loss for an explanation. God calls us to surround each other with love, acceptance and forgiveness. And sometimes, the relationships change for the better. One of my dearest friends now is someone who did love, accept and I’m certain continually forgives me for my shortcomings!

Sorry for the detour, back to Sheppard’s comments.

Even though I was prepared for a typical, legalistic response, I found that I agreed with his Biblical foundation for tithing. Ultimately, he says , “generosity is a condition of the heart.” Amen!

Some other helpful insights from him are that “a lifestyle of generosity should not stop when times are hard.” And tithing when “income is low reinforces gratitude and trust, as it reminds us that God can use even the smallest gift to accomplish His will.”

I’ve experienced this as we’ve given out of our blessings to others. What may seem meager in by our culture's standards is huge to someone else when it’s in God’s perfect timing. A $10-25 gift card doesn’t change the world, but when Holy Spirit prompts the giving, it may just be the tool He uses to remind the recipient that He is still there, looking out for her and that she can continue to place her hope and trust in Him.

What I appreciated most about both of these men that do believe you should continue giving even when income is low, is that neither one specifies a percentage to give. For years, I’ve believed that the 10% rule is probably my biggest hang up with tithing. I’ve even had conversations with Dale where I’ve gotten angry (not at him!) at this legalistic mentality. Isn’t clinging to the Old Testament standard of 10% denying what Jesus taught us? Everything we have is a gift from God so it should all be His. We should ask Him in every purchase if it is His will for us…including our tithe.

So often what I sense when the 10% rule is proclaimed is that we in America who are so wealthy by worldly standards then can rationally justify massive homes, big vacations, hundreds (if not thousands) on sports and lessons for our kids, closets busting at the seams with rarely worn clothes, and on and on. None of these things are bad and many are very good…but did we even ask God if they were okay to begin with? Or did we rationalize the purchase, subscription, work on the house, etc. because we knew we’d paid our 10% tithe so the other 90% is ours to do with as we please? I’ve just started reading David Platt’s new book, Radical Together, and he says when you begin to live radically for God, everything is on the table. In other words, every activity, expense, program (for us or a church), etc. should be prayed over and asked of God if it is His BEST for us. It may be good…but is it His BEST. And then actually wait to hear His answer.

Yes, I’m stepping on my own toes here! I am guilty of every one of the above and I still struggle with this. Just in the last week as we, in my estimation, didn’t have enough to get through to the next payday, I was stressing over money…yet, trying to go to Holy Spirit for wisdom and peace over and over. I was desperate to submit to Him about this worry over His provision. After all I’d paid our tithe, so didn’t he promise He’d provide?

Praise God! He spoke to my heart and said, “But I have provided for you. You have food in your pantry and fridge. You have a little gas in your car (no small feat these days), your husband is working and you live where you can walk to the grocery if you need anything. What you’re really stressed about is money to take your kids shopping or to a movie (even a cheap one!) or running around just to get out of the house for awhile. But these aren’t needs.” Amen!

Even though I felt at peace with His answer, He’s so amazing, that the next day He did give us a little extra money too…some through gifts and some through a silly class action settlement from our last auto insurance provider. He even surprised me with a Starbucks gift card from someone thanking me for my leadership in our co-op this year.

And while none of these amounts were huge by our culture’s standards, they were enough to keep us stocked in fresh fruits and veggies (very important to me!) until the next payday. I also had enough to buy us some pepper and tomato plants to grow on our patio. Plus, there was a little left over to take each of our kids on a walk to run errands, spend some alone time with them and buy them a treat. Believe me, that small Hawaiian Ice I bought my sugar-addicted son and the conversation we had while he ate it was huge! And as always 10% of these blessings are going back out to someone else…in this case, to buy food for the single moms’ night out we’re hosting this week.

So Shepphard is right…”generosity is a condition of the heart.” God is transforming mine to care about what He cares about and He says repeatedly that He cares about the poor, the widow and the orphan. How can I not give generously to those close to His heart when He continues to shower us with amazing blessings?!

In the next segment, I’ll discuss the third perspective in the Christianity Today roundtable article which asks the question, “Should the jobless tithe on their unemployment benefits?” The last answer might surprise you!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Tithing, part 3

As I continue the train of thought from the previous post, if you’ve jumped straight into this one, back up a few days and start with Tithing…an Introduction.



When I recently came across this question, “Should the jobless tithe on their unemployment benefits?” in a Christianity Today article, I was curious what fellow believers would have to say. Although we did tithe while receiving unemployment benefits and my husband is no longer unemployed, I was still drawn to the article because when I’m not working, our income is below the amount of unemployment compensation he received. This is the life God has called us to…we have now accepted that and actually often rejoice in it. But I was anxious to read what these three men had to say about the poor tithing…which is another way of examining this question.

Douglas LeBlanc, editor at large for The Living Church magazine, author of Tithing: Test Me in This draws from his own experience when finances were scarce to answer, “Yes, if joyfully,” to the question at hand. My heart could empathize for my husband when LeBlanc spoke of the shame he felt of “not bringing more money into our household.” This is a pain I saw in my own husband.

And had I read LeBlanc’s words during my crisis of faith, I would have found great comfort in reading that he believes “there are some reasons for jobless people--or anyone, for that matter—not to tithe." (emphasis mine)

Some of the reasons that stood out to me most include: Don’t give out of joyless obligation to the law; Don’t give out of the assumption that God will owe you anything; Don’t give if you will resent God for asking sacrifices of you. Unfortunately, during my darkest months, I was guilty of all three!

But one more that he mentions I specifically even asked church leaders about…I never felt comfortable tithing knowing that I would default on a loan. Somehow, I always felt like God didn’t need my money, so He would understand and even prefer that I pay my creditors first. After all, isn’t that the better testimony?

LeBlanc’s overall message though, is one I can embrace. We shouldn’t be living lives with double mortgages, confusing our desires with our needs or even think that tithing is only for those who are financially secure. He ends by saying something that God had already brought to a better awareness for me, “God has a deeper purpose for all the blessings in your life than making ends meet.” Amen!

Now that’s a message I can get excited about! Have you heard the old Stephen Curtis Chapman song that says,
“There’s more to this life,
Than livin’ and dyin’
More than just tryin’ to make it through the day.”

Again, as I said before…He has so much more for us than what we’ve dared allow ourselves to believe. And if Him growing a more generous spirit in me is how He can best display all the blessings and joy that He wants to give…then, grow me Lord,…however You desire. If your heart is yearning for more, as is mine, tell Him right now…’no matter the cost, Lord, I will follow!’

To be continued…

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tithing, part 1

Before I begin, I feel a few disclaimers are in order:

1. This is not a judgment on any one community of believers, but rather a pervasive “feeling” I’ve picked up on for as long as I can remember in sermons I've heard, books and articles I've read and especially in Christian financial "advice". I have loved the congregations with whom we have had the blessing to worship and I would not be where I am in my journey today were it not for the amazing pastors and teachers I have been fortunate to know.

2. I acknowledge that this is my issue and possibly mine alone. But I have noticed that when I get an idea that contradicts everything I've been taught about the subject, mull it over for a considerable time and Holy Spirit grows it as He helps me analyze every angle of the issue at hand, there is something He is trying to teach me. When I eventually speak up about it, I have always found that there is someone else (sometimes several someones) that say, ‘You are speaking my heart. I've felt the same way but just didn’t know how to express it.’

3. Before you proceed through this epistle, you should know that I do NOT have all the answers. You will only find your answers in the One that knows what is best for you. You should also know that I am a rebel at heart. My Mom would probably more politely say that I was the “strong-willed child”. Looking back…I am so thankful that I questioned everything. I KNOW this is why I have survived so much in my life…and not just survived, but by the power of God, I have thrived in His Hands. My prayer as you read this and search God’s Word for yourself is that you also would question everything…with the Holy Spirit as your perfect Teacher, Leader and Guide.


Enough…on to the topic at hand!

If you’ve known me at all in the last seven years and have been a part of any regular “churchy” discussions with me, you probably know that I have struggled with the concept of tithing. I now see that I’ve really just struggled with how the concept of tithing has been taught in American churches.

If you’ve listened to what I’ve said at all, you’ll know that my biggest point of contention has always been that I’ll hear someone say basically the following: ‘We’re going to talk (or I've written) about giving God your time, your talent and your treasure today.’ But then they proceed to speak about the treasure (or tithing) part for the next 45 minutes.

Why?

Why have I wrestled with this so much? Why does it still eat at me after so many years? Why can’t I just tithe and give up this pursuit of knowing why?

Is it possible that we’ve just plain ol’ gotten it wrong? Or is the enemy using this as a stumbling block for me?


My history of tithing is one of almost complete faithfulness to the practice. I was raised that this is just what you do. Tithing was such an adamant practice for my parents, that I would now call it legalism. The incongruities I saw in their walk while still preaching the importance of tithing was unsettling to me as I matured in my faith. I don't know what was in their hearts, I just speak of the perception of what I saw.

I entered our marriage determined to continue my well-established practice of tithing. But about six or seven years into it, I became rebellious to the party line I’d been taught and wanted to pursue God the way He had called me, not with the legalism I’d experienced in my church, my family and my own heart. During this time, we were rarely making good financial decisions, had our fair share of debt and like most Americans lived paycheck to paycheck.

Then one Sunday, our pastor said something in his sermon that I knew was meant just for me, “You don’t tithe not because you can’t. You don’t tithe because you don’t trust God to provide for your needs.” I went home that day, talked with Dale and decided come ‘hell or high water’, I would tithe to prove God’s promise in Malachi 3:10 true.

This was about eight or nine years ago and I can still see my pastor saying this. And guess what? We didn’t miss the tithe money. Honestly, it was probably just some fewer eating out trips or less money for a vacation…the point is, it didn’t hurt us to give it. It was definitely do-able.

We still had debt, we still weren’t making consistently good financial decisions and like most Americans, lived paycheck to paycheck. Tithing had not magically taken care of what was, looking back, a heart issue.

Ever since that time though, I’ve still struggled with why our treasure is usually discussed more and the time and the talent issues just get a perfunctory nod. Could it be that in American, white, mostly affluent churches, it’s easier for us to write a check than to give away our time and talent? As people cram more and more things in their crowded schedules, is it possible that we who have plenty of money actually covet our time more?? Hmm??

For now, I’ll leave you to ponder this: When you look at the time, talent and treasure (money) you’ve been given by God, which is the most difficult to sacrifice to the point that it hurts? At the thought of losing which one do you see yourself cowering in a corner, scratching and fighting for the last scrap of it that you have? Which one would leave you awake at night...loss of money, loss of your talent or loss of all your time? Then ask yourself, were any of these really yours to begin with?

Tithing...an Introduction

When I sat down to write this, I knew I had a lot to say…I guess I wasn’t prepared for quite how much. So this will be my first blog post done in a “series” of postings.

This is a hot topic for me and I’m guessing if you live in the U.S. and attend an average American church, it’s a hot topic for you too. Bear with me…this IS going to be long…but my prayer is that you don’t accept my thoughts, but rather, listen to what Holy Spirit wants to say to you.

I’m convinced I can’t let this go because He has so much more planned for us than what we’ve allowed ourselves to believe. Praise His Name!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

No Fire!

I've been thinking even more about fire...the Holy Spirit's fire to be exact...especially after I had a conversation with my oldest daughter last night about a concern she had that was weighing on her heart. Then this morning, just as He's been doing almost daily, the Holy Spirit's timing proved perfect again. My lesson in Living Beyond Yourself addressed the exact concern my daughter had brought to me last night. When I told her about this later, she said, "Okay, that's just freaky!" I replied, 'Yeah, but it's a good kind of freaky.'

So the concern I went to sleep with on my mind and woke up mulling over this morning and turned over to God in my prayer time, He addressed in my Bible study too! I LOVE living by the power of the Spirit!! He is proving over and over and over again that He is in control, I can trust Him and somehow...I will never know how...He puts all the pieces of this massively huge puzzle together at exactly the right time to bring about His good purpose in my life! Wow...Now that's fire!

But as Sara Groves song (see previous post) kept playing on and on in my head, I also remembered a funny story from when our oldest two kids were young. For about a 3-4 year period starting when Abbey was a baby, we frequented a Japanese hibachi-style restaurant in a neighboring town where we lived. This soon became a favorite and I don't even want to think of all the money we spent there during that time. When family was in town or we had a reason to celebrate, that was our favorite place to go. Even now as a vegan, I still fondly remember those meals...they were yummy!

As you might guess, we became friendly with some of the staff. It's sad to say...but they recognized us...more importantly, the recognized our two kids...both blessed with bold, red hair. But what they remembered about our kids is the funny part of the story.

If you've ever been to one of these restaurants, a signature thing to do as they prepare your food in front of you is to stack slices of onion rings in a pyramid, pour oil into it and light it on fire like a volcano. Or they may set the shrimp ablaze right in front of you as they are preparing your meal. Well...this terrified our oldest and as she grew, we either covered her eyes or as a toddler she learned to dive beneath the table when the fire was about to be lit.

The staff became so familiar with us that if we were the only ones at the table, these sweet Vietnamese men would look at us and say (insert Asian accent), "I know...I know...no fire!"

This story probably isn't as amusing to you as it is to me. But I hope the point of my remembrance is as poignant to you as it was today when Holy Spirit brought it back to mind. It's like He was saying, "Yes, Angela...you want fire...but to so many others I have to say...'I know...I know...no fire!'"

Honestly, there've been times I've said the same thing. There've been times when our burdens have been so heavy or I just came out of a time period of growth where He's been painfully stripping away a habit, vice or sin and I've thought, "Lord, please just give me some time of rest!" Or in other words, 'Please no fire right now!'

But about a year ago, my friend, Julie, recommended Forgotten God by Francis Chan and Holy Spirit used it to reignite the coals of my soul. Actually, they may have even been lit for the first time as I truly realized how much He wants to do through my life.

I was on the path as He had laid it before me, but then I lost my focus. I've blogged about this before. It was all for good things...but it wasn't the perfect thing for me...the thing through which His fire could burn.

Now that He's burning in me again and as I attempt to have what I call "laser-trained focus" on God and His specific path for me, I want MORE fire. I want Him to set the world on fire and use me as the match, the tinder, the fuel or the slow burning matter...whatever be His desire for me.

So while I had a little chuckle today, picturing that perfect little red-haired head diving under the table, quick as lightning and the chef saying, "I know...I know...no fire," I've realized just how much I do want His fire! I'm ready to burn!

Mentioned in this post:

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I Was Warming My Hands...

Often my words are not enough to express what I'm feeling. So today, I'm going to borrow Sara Groves' words instead.

Jeremiah

Jeremiah, tell me 'bout the fire
That burns up in your bones.
I wanna know, I wanna know more now.

The burning of ambition and desire
It never could come close to that fire.
To that fire.

I was looking to myself
And I forgot the power of God
I was standing with a sparkler in my hand.

I stood so pround and profound
You came and burned this whole place down
Now that's fire!

Jeremiah, tell me 'bout the fire
That burns up in your bones.
I wanna know, I wanna know more now.

The burning of ambition and desire
It never could come close to that fire.
To that fire.

I was caught up in this vice
And it's power to entice
I was dwelling on my hopelessness and doubt.

With the slightest invitation
You came with total damnation
Now that's fire.

Jeremiah, tell me 'bout the fire
That burns up in your bones.
I wanna know, I wanna know more now.

Jeremiah, tell me 'bout the fire
'Cause nothing could come close to that fire
To that fire.

I was warming my hands by this little light of mine
Now I know, I know it's time
To come in from the cold

Fight fire with fire
Fan the flame
Come stir up these coals in my soul
My soul
Till it burns out of control.

Jeremiah, tell me 'bout the fire
That burns up in your bones.
I wanna know, I wanna know more now.

Jeremiah, tell me 'bout the fire
'Cause nothing could come close to that fire
To that fire.



The three lines that speak to me the most, I've put in bold text. As Holy Spirit did yet another huge thing yesterday, and today I hear this song on my Ipod, I'm reminded of how when I'm not solely living through the power of the Spirit of Jesus...I'm just "standing with a sparkler in my hand".

Wow! Don't you want His Fire?!! Can't you feel that you were meant for so much more than just "warming my hands by this little light of mine"?

Yesterday, I was going through my morning routine of prayer and Bible study and as I finished the lesson, I had a STRONG urge to do another session. So I told the kids it would be yet another easy day of school because I needed to do some more Bible study. Oh Abba! You KNEW just what I needed.

The session was entitled "A Clean Slate". And by the end of it, Beth Moore asked me to seek God's leading on if there is anyone in my life to whom I am a stumbling block. Matthew 5:23-24, I'd always interpreted and had been preached to me that this passage was if someone had offended me, I need to go deal with it so I'm not harboring a grudge while I'm trying to worship God at the same time. But Moore explains the passage as I am the offender...maybe even unknowingly and I need to attempt to reconcile.

She has you pray for the Spirit's leading to discern to whom you are a stumbling block in their path of freedom through Jesus. As soon as I prayed this, someone came to mind. And it's a person that for a few years now I have invited to call, e-mail or write me so we can discuss what has happened. Honestly, I don't know how I've offended them...but it's obvious that I have.

So in obedience to the Spirit, I wrote out a letter asking their forgiveness for however I have offended them and encouraged them to talk to me about it so we can name it and root it out. Ultimately, I shudder to think that I am someone's stumbling block. But in this instance, I'm certain I am.

What will come of this? I have no clue. They could continue to ignore me, lash out at me or pretend like nothing's ever happened...but I'm not responsible for their reaction. [No matter what you think of Dr. Phil...I did get some wise advice from his show several years ago...'You are only responsible for speaking the truth. You are not responsible for how it is received.']

I just know I had to obey the Spirit's calling and I had to write the truth...in love. As Moore writes, "Obeying God is paramount." And as shared in the letter to this person...I know the relationship will be different. But as I've seen in my marriage and in my relationship with my parents, when God redeems it, the relationship can be better than you ever dreamed possible. In fact, if I'm a stumbling block to this person...the Holy Spirit longs for the relationship to be different. Right?

All of this happened and gave me great peace in knowing that daily, Holy Spirit is moving and working and doing HUGE things in my life and our family. That's why I no longer want to be content with "Warming my hands by this little light of mine." Holy Spirit is stirring the coals in my soul, I'm coming in from the cold and He is fanning His flame. Get ready for a bonfire! That's what He wants for us! His power, His glory, His love, His mercy!

Now that's fire!

Mentioned in this post:

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Been Doing Some Praising This Morning!

It's been a great morning and I haven't even left my home. Can't beat that can you? The kids and I didn't make it to church this morning and I had a good quiet time with Holy Spirit while I was working on the Living Beyond Yourself study. While I was spending time in prayer and getting ready to face the day something happened that He wanted me to share with the kids. (More about that in a minute.)

Back up a few days to Thursday...I had lunch with a lady I've known for a little over a year, but within the last few months have really had a desire to get to know better. I've seen her servant's heart in our home school co-op and know she has a passion for serving God and helping those in need...plus...she always seems so happy. Since tax season is finally over, we had a chance to get together and I came away blessed and all the better for taking the time.

Conversation was easy as we shared what God has done (and is doing) for us. The Spirit in me was resonating with the Spirit in her and He was given all the praise. I told her about Frances Chan's book, Forgotten God, and gave her a brief synopsis. I summed it up with his question in the book (I'm paraphrasing), 'If you grew up on a deserted island with only the Bible to learn about who the Holy Spirit is and then you saw how we Christians in America live, what would you think?' My new friend went on to say she's heard of places in Africa where the people don't know you're not supposed to pray for miracles and healings...so they are experiencing miracles and healings!

Imagine that! If I were just a lot more naive, my issues could get out of the way and my God could perform miracles and healings. If I just took His Word, read it and fervently believed it, I could partake in His glorious wonders!

Well...why not?

Last week didn't I hear my pastor say that we should be living out the Resurrection story? And wasn't the question in our small group time that challenged me the most "What difference does the resurrection make for you?" Although I changed the wording to 'What difference does the resurrection make IN you?' And didn't I share with the small group in person and through e-mail that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is the same power of the Holy Spirit that was given to the disciples and is the same power of the Holy Spirit that He yearns for us to tap into today???


Back to this morning, for about 4 days I've had a sharp back pain that has gotten progressively worse. I've worried that it could be my gall bladder. I know I've had issues with my gall bladder in the past even though it's never been diagnosed. (If you eat the Standard American Diet-SAD for very long, you probably have gall bladder problems too). But as I've internally cleansed and eaten better, I thought I was on the mend. As the days have gone by and it's gotten worse...finally causing me to lose some sleep the last couple of nights...I was dreading what might happen if I didn't get it checked out. And as I was praying through my confessions and concerns this morning, Ann's words came back to me..."they don't know you're not supposed to pray for miracles and healings...so they are experiencing miracles and healings."

As prompted by the Holy Spirit, I prayed for my back pain to go away. I didn't pray "IF it's Your will," like I've been taught in American churches to do. Of course it's His will that I be healthy! That's the way He created us to live. I'm not dumping crap into my body and asking Him to remove the consequences, so I prayed that because I know He is healing my body through detoxification and healthy foods already, I knew this was one more thing He could do. I prayed with confidence and boldness that could only have come from Him...and guess what?! You'd be really shocked if I said He didn't do it wouldn't you? After that build-up...of course He did!

I've had similar experiences a couple of times before and I've learned that I can't ask for these things unless the boldness and faith comes from Him to begin with. And when that boldness/confidence comes from Him...He WILL do it!

So I was already on Cloud 118 (not just #9 at least!) and Holy Spirit challenged me to share this experience with the kids. "What?" "They'll think I'm weird. I can just see Abbey and Noah (our teenagers) rolling their eyes and thinking that I've finally gone off the deep end." But guess what?? He took care of that concern too!!!

Normally, if on occasion we don't go to church, it's like a day off...free time to do what you want. But I told them we were going to sit at the breakfast table and have a conversation. And by Divine appointment...we had an amazing one.

I've said on here all along that my journey is not mine alone...our circumstances are exactly as they are so that our whole family can "write a better story". But Holy Spirit challenged me this morning that I'm not sharing with them often enough about what He is doing in us. I guess I thought I was protecting them from the truth of how tight money is sometimes or something. By the end of our conversation, I told them, "If you grow up to adulthood, leave this home and do NOT know all that God has done for us, then I have failed you and it would be sin on my part."

During our conversation, we talked about James 4:3, where it's written, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures". We discussed again, the passage in Acts 3 where Peter and John are asked to give alms to a poor man and Peter says, "I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene--walk!" (v. 6) I wrote dollar amounts on our white board and showed them the amount we need to meet our bills for a year and what income we earned in 2010. I told them how I'd stopped keeping track, but a conservative estimate would be that God has provided $15,000-18,000 for us PLUS two vehicles over the last year that were above and beyond this income. I told them about how the power of Jesus' resurrection can be alive and living in us and as followers of Jesus we receive His Spirit in us. And yes, I told them about the healing of my back this morning.

And you know what?? Every time I looked at my teenagers, their eyes were glued to me...no heads were down, no smart-alek questions, no laughs or scoffs. In all honesty, the 7 year old was a little distracted...but that's okay. She's got a few more years with us to hear how God is moving and working.

Yes, as a family, we briefly lamented that we may never be able to go back for a big week-long vacation to Disney World. But we talked about how God knows the desires of our hearts and if He wants to provide us with a mini-vacation...He will. If He doesn't...then there's a lesson to learn in that as well. I also read through the words of the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" to them.

I promised them that I'm no longer protecting them...they have been amazingly resilient through everything that's happened...all the way back to seven years ago...but particularly within the last two and a half....and Holy Spirit wants me to tell them what He is doing so they can KNOW His power for themselves. Together, we wrote down a desire of our hearts. Yeah, it's a want...but if God thinks we need it, it will happen. And this desire is something that would greatly benefit our family togetherness so I am confident that it's within His prevailing will for us. If it's within His specific will...He'll make it happen.

This is a really long story to explain why I've "been doing some praising this morning." I've been in my bathroom walk-in closet more than a few times already today listening to some great praise music, jumping up and down, lifting my hands up to Him...don't think the teenagers are ready to see me doing that yet! One great song I listened to is a reworking of the hymn "Immortal Invisible God Only Wise"

Immortal, invisible, God only wise,
In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,
Most blessed, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,
Almighty, victorious, thy great name we praise.

Unresting, unhasting, and silent as light,
Nor wanting, nor wasting, thou rulest in might;
Thy justice like mountains high soaring above
Thy clouds which are fountains of goodness and love

The chorus with it is : "You are Holy, You are worthy. We exalt You and lift up Your Name. Mere words aren't enough to express Your great love."

A couple of Sara Groves songs had me weepy and praising too! So it's Sunday...and I didn't GO to church this morning...but God by the power of His Holy Spirit brought some church to our home today and my cup is running over with the expectation of what He wants our kids to see Him do.

Can't wait! I know it's gonna be good!