Through or From?

I took a one week detour from discussing some of what I've been learning in Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself, because I so very much wanted to write what I was learning about giving as God is applying it to my life. And honestly, Moore's week on the fruit of the Spirit that manifests as kindness and goodness wasn't speaking to me the way the other weeks have. I don't know why, other than I felt compelled to write last week's blogs and may have been a bit distracted. But this week, the Holy Spirit is back in full force teaching me through His Word and the words He gave Beth Moore to share in this study.

This week's topic is Faithfulness. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23) I KNOW God has been faithful to me and to our family...and not just in our present circumstances. For as long as I can think back in our married life, His hand has consistently been apparent even if the results of His leading seemed to take a long time to complete. And He has often been kind enough to prepare our hearts ahead of time when there is "somthing coming", as I like to call it.

But this week as I went through the daily lessons, sometimes feeling led to do 2 or 3 days of lessons each day, I was overcome with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and goodness at the remembrances of an Abba (Daddy) that has been more faithful than I could ever express. And as I'm beginning to believe will be the norm, Holy Spirit's timing about what He's teaching me was perfect! I went to church Sunday morning not knowing the topic of the day and guess what? Now, you KNOW it had to be faithfulness! Isn't He good?!

I appreciate how Moore always starts with the premise that we are NEVER capable of attaining any of the fruit of the Spirit unless God is the One growing it in us. I'm ashamed to say that as a teenager, steeped in a legalistic church environment and not having parents that I could bounce my spiritual questions off of, I posted an index card with these attributes of the Spirit and thought, "Okay, if I just work on love first, get that one under my belt, then I can work on having more joy...once I've got that one down, I'll move on to peace."

You probably know how well that worked...it didn't! Over the years I've been blessed to have Bible teachers, preachers, authors cross paths with me and a faithful Holy Spirit that has awakened me to the fact that I can't possibly "accomplish" putting the fruit into practice. Moore is driving this lesson home every day in this study.

She writes, "we will never believe God until we allow ourselves to discover that He is believable!" And, "the degree of our faithfulness is the direct result of our regard for God's faithfulness." "The faithfulness of God is His believability!" She spends a lot of time in the study having you reexamine HOW God has been faithful in His Word, His prophecies and in our own lives.

And when she asked me to seriously consider if I believe God because of "who He is" or because of "what He does", I had to stop and chew on that for awhile. In a meeting just this Saturday, I said to a group of Christians, 'So what if we fail in the world's eyes...it will still have been for our good and God's glory so we can't fail. We just have to be obedient.' I felt like yesterday Holy Spirit was asking me to examine my heart and see if I truly believe this.

Moore points out that if we have faith based on what God does, we are always going to be subject to life's ups and downs. After all, "the only thing we can count on is change." Right?

But my God is bigger than changing circumstances. Isn't He? And I found great comfort in a prayer she shared that she prays when in a confusing or painful situation. "God, I can't understand why You're doing this. But I know that, unlike me, Your actions cannot be inconsistent with Your heart, and I know Your heart is loving, good, and faithful. Somehow, some way, somewhere all these things are for good. If I could just know You better through this, that is all the good I need."

Yesterday, I was experiencing a lot of doubt about some choices we've made. Yet when we made those choices, we were certain that it was God's will for our family. I found myself aware that it was depressing me...causing fear and I thought Holy Spirit was calling me to reevaluate our situation and that some tough choices might need to be made.

But as I prayed over and over again, "Lord, I will believe You because of who You are, not because of what You do," the Holy Spirit reminded me that He is not the author of fear and doubt. He never uses confusion to speak to us. And as if a lightbulb went off in my head, I was able to say, "This isn't from You. Help me see You." The fear had been almost palpable but in that instant it fell away and the peace that only God can give was restored! Praise His Name!

Then today, I listened to Beth Moore's video session on Faithfulness and I'm not sure I can even express how much it meant to me to relive the faithfulness God has demonstrated in my life. Moore begins with a few scriptures in a portion of Hebrews that is known as the faithful Hall of Fame. The author of Hebrews recounts person after person in the Old Testament that believed God, acted on that faith and through whom God accomplished remarkable, amazing feats. And tucked away in three little verses is the following, "And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. (Hebrews 11:32-34)

Do you see what I emphasized? These men...two cowards, a bragging philanderer that squandored his supernatural strength on a woman, an adulterer and murderer and a prophet whose sons took bribes, perverted justice and didn't follow in their father's footsteps were able 'through faith to subdue kingdoms.' What?

And Moore points to the word through. Why? Because often God chooses to deliver us through our circumstances and not from them. Sure God could carry us over, around or under our current situation. But if He is the Abba that will always work out everything for my good and His glory, then maybe the best way to deliver me is through the crisis, pain, unexpected situation or devastation that has happened.

In Exodus 13:17-18, God knew He had to let the Israelites go around the Philistines because they would give up if they had to battle them. They weren't ready yet. So Moore makes the statement, "A greater call to faith...is a faith that is called to press through. It's going to take a whole lot more faith to go through." And look back at that list of "faithful" men. God obviously wants to use the weak to make them strong. "For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe." (I Corinthians 1:21) It's pretty common for God to use the wrong person, the weak person, the person that has nothing for themselves to "subdue kingdoms". Then, He is the only One to receive the glory...then, He is the only One that could possibly have done the work.

And what kingdoms are slayed? Ephesians 2:2 tells that satan is the ruler of the kingdom of the air and Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

When my world is crashing down around me can I remember that there is a whole "other" part to this struggle? Lord, let me never forget that this is more than just my piddly troubles. There is a big picture and You are in complete control of it. And I once heard that if we can just remember that as Christians, nothing comes to us that hasn't come through God...allowed by Him, then there is freedom in knowing that it is for our good. I am not saying that He tempts us or causes someone to sin against us. We live in a fallen world where sin abounds. But there is no situation that because of His faithfulness to us cannot be used for our good and His glory.

I think that has to become one of my new catch phrases. "For my good and for His glory" needs to be right up there with "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30)

How does God bring me through? How do I open myself up to His work so He can be glorified? It sounds so simple but packs so much in one little word...pray. If you've ever known me, you know I have struggled with prayer. I'm sure this is an entirely different post...but for now I'll summarize by saying that as I have pursued a relationship with my Abba by talking to Him throughout my day, HE brings my thoughts back to Him over and over throughout the day, HE asks me to fast and pray, HE beckons to me when my brain wakes up in the morning and HE initiates the conversation.

And as I listen to Him drawing me near and I respond with an open heart and desire to know Him more, He just keeps pulling me in nearer, closer...seeking Him more. It's cyclical. So if you don't know God in this way...just start talking to Him...nothing formal...just talking. You may feel awkward...you may be in a situation right now where you're even resentful of what He's doing...that's okay, He's a big God, He can take it...tell Him exactly how you feel.

Who knows what He has planned for you? It may even be that "through faith (you)conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies" (Hebrews 11:33-34)

Are there dark kingdoms you'd like to conquer? Do you know someone or a people that needs justice? Are there some lions in your life whose mouths you'd like shut? Any flames you'd like quenched? Then He's ready to turn your weakness into strength and make you powerful in battle.

Pick up your shield...it's called faith! (Ephesians 6:16) And you can absolutely count on Him to be faithful! So far He's batting a 1000 regarding His prophecies in the Bible...I think He can be counted on to have your back!



End Note: I wish I could attach the soundtrack that's been playing through my Ipod Shuffle as I was writing this. Keep in mind, Shuffles play songs in "random" order and about 8 of the last 10 songs have been about God's faithfulness. I think He wants me to count on Him! What do you think?