The Difference a Year Can Make

About this time last year, our family had been to Florida, enjoyed a cheap but great vacation to the Disney/Orlando area and Abbey and I were knee-deep in Abbey's Vegan Eats, raising support and awareness for her upcoming Mission Year. I don't even know at this point if she'd received her assignment in Houston, Texas. I only knew in a little over a month, our girl was flying out on that big bird, making her way into the wonderful adventure God had for her.

This side of a year's Journey and next Friday, we will welcome home a very different Sojourner of faith. I wish I could convey to you all the blessed ways in which Abbey has changed. 

She has learned compassion and patience by serving children who live in deep poverty in one of Houston's toughest neighborhoods. She's had the joy of becoming family with people she had never even met last July. 

Because of them and the neighbors that have welcomed them into their lives, she's had a taste of authentic, intentional community and she longs for more...more of God showing up and showing off His Kingdom Love in and through the lives of people committed to serving Him.

As evidenced by Abbey's Vegan Eats, food was already her passion...now it is her rallying cry for the injustice of food deserts and limited, unhealthy choices for those already confined by conventional thought, unfair practices and no means to pull themselves up out of the mire of cheap, traditional American convenience food, that is killing them. She longs to teach others how to live fulfilled, healthy lives, caring for the only temple God gave them...their bodies.

She has still found time to embrace the beautiful and to be creative, but her team and City Directors have helped unleash the inner Artist that has struggled to accept her gifts. Creativity through art, musical theatre, baking and more are necessary survival skills now that she has opened up the toolbox of talent that God had already equipped her with.

Who will come off of that big bird we put her on last year? I'm not exactly sure and I don't know precisely where she's headed next...but I am absolutely certain that with the Holy Spirit as her Guide, it will continue to be the adventure of a lifetime.

We love you Abbey and we long to see your face! (I Thess. 2:17)

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If you'd like to see more photos of Abbey's Mission Year experience, follow her on Instagram.

Kingdom Dining

One of Abbey's photos from our community dinner

I had originally title this post "Dinner With Friends" and intended to share it several days ago, but as He sometimes does, the Holy Spirit prompted me to delay so He could solidity the lesson even more.

As I've previously mentioned, every Saturday in a Mission Year, the team hangs out in their neighborhood and builds community with their neighbors. They also invite their neighbors and friends to have dinner with them. The menu during my visit was Lindi's delicious Tomato Basil Soup and Brent made some tasty oven-grilled cheese sandwiches. I pitched in a big salad purchased at the local NuWaters Co-op which is making healthy, local grown options available in a neighborhood where fresh produce is hard to come by.

Seated around the table were 15 people, most of whom only met within the previous day or two and even the Eight at the core of the group have only been together since early September...but it felt like home.

There were soon-to-be college kids, mastered-degreed young adults, empty-nester moms, friends from former church connections, a neighbor and me. Some are married, some divorced, and some remarried or single. We're not only all from different backgrounds and have varying skin tones, but the geographical backdrops didn't go unnoticed by me. Upstate New York, Kansas, Indiana, Iowa, Oklahoma, Texas and my own Kentucky home were all represented around the three tables squished together to seat all 15 of us.

And as I tried to remember to see through Kingdom eyes, I heard that Whisper say, "I'm giving you just a glimpse of the Banquet I'm preparing for all of you." I don't know if I've ever experienced the Lord's Table before that night, and I did fleetingly think of asking them if we could have communion together. I wish I'd spoken up, because I know I felt the perfection of the moment when Jesus Himself was sitting there with us.

What was the reason for delaying this post? Well, apparently the Holy Spirit prompted the same observation in my daughter. She wrote about it in her February newsletter. 

Oh...but God is so good that He gave me even one more example.

Serving dinner at ESNKY in January

Our church partners with Emergency Shelter of Northern Kentucky to provide life-saving overnight housing for 12 men when temperatures drop below 15 degrees and their shelter is overflowing with people seeking aid. They are supposed to house 40, but Monday night when temperatures were below zero, we housed 12, Mother of God church (also a temporary overflow site) had 12 and ESNKY housed 90 souls. [We fed the 12 men at our place and about 70 at ESNKY.] One of our volunteers stepped on a man's hand trying to walk through the hallway because bodies lined both sides of the already narrow space. Whoever says, "I don't see the homeless, so the problem must not be that bad," needs to take a trip down to Scott Street on a single-digit night and observe the line down the block, just to get in the door.

Part of our Homeless Hosting set-up in January

My friend heads up our church's team of over 100 volunteers that share responsibility for hosting, feeding, driving and providing hospitality to these 12 men. So far this winter, we've done this five different weeks for either three or four nights each session. I love being part of the Church that truly is serving "the least of these" and who honestly believes we are called to "be the hands and feet of Jesus". Since this morning may be the last opportunity we have to love on our new friends at our place, my friend Kari sent out some final observations Holy Spirit has been laying on her heart. One that struck a chord with me is that she felt dining with our homeless friends gave her "a glimpse into what fellowship around God's table will be like in heaven someday."

Many races, varying socio-economic statuses, many different backgrounds, many different life choices...but all brought together by the bond of Christ's Love and an abundant feast He sets before us. That is a meal worthy of our attention.

All of this has made me crave more opportunities for Kingdom dining. The invitation is always there...but will we accept our seat He's reserved just for us?

Amen!

I Am a Prodigal

When I was in Houston two weeks ago, I had a wonderful opportunity to attend church at St. John's Downtown. Pastor Steven taught from Luke 15:11-32. Most Christians know this as the story Jesus told (aka parable) called The Prodigal Son.

"I am the Prodigal Son every time I look for unconditional love where it cannot be found." That quote from Pastor Steven is something I have repeatedly returned to since I wrote it down. He asked the congregation if as sons and daughters of the King, we ever "cash in" our royalty for debauchery.

Good thoughts to ponder.

I liked what I saw and heard at St. John's. Their emphasis on loving people where they are has led them into extensive homeless ministry, AIDS activism, baptismal commitments where vows to fight injustice in ourselves and others are expected and depression/bi-polar support groups that would be taboo in some churches are promoted from the pulpit. All of this while encouraging youth to pursue academics, not athletics, as the way to escape from poverty, by providing college campus tours throughout the South.

But as I have contemplated Pastor Steven's words, perfectly timed today I read in The Joy of the Gospel, "At times we (the Church) have to be like the father of the prodigal son, who always keeps his door open so that when the son returns, he can readily pass through it...Frequently, we act as arbiters of grace rather than its facilitators. But the Church is not a tollhouse, it is the house of the Father, where there is a place for everyone, with all their problems."

As I struggled last Sunday with being judgmental and critical of many incongruities that I see in American Christians, I was ever so grateful that my Father was waiting with the door wide open. Why would I as His Prodigal Child ever close it for anyone else?

The Hobbit Cafe'- Houston, Texas

On my trip to Houston to visit Abbey, the one place she'd mentioned that I really wanted to try was Hobbit Cafe'. It was just as fun and delicious as I'd hope it would be. 

Started in 1972, these are people dedicated to the Tolkien stories, not the presently popular movie versions. Their food, while mostly named for characters and places with which I'm familiar in the stories, still had us pulling out Abbey's iPhone to Google Valinor and a few other terms with which were weren't familiar in Hobbit-lore. That's how fun this place is.

Indoors, you're surrounded by a hefty collection of memorabilia and outside, you sit in the beer garden underneath the Party Tree. It was a beautiful day, so we sat outside. For a Kentuckian in February, just sitting outside for lunch made the entire experience delightful.

I had a delicious salmon burger (with no fun Hobbit name for it) and Abbey had a tasty portobello burger sans bun topped with jalapenos and alfalfa sprouts.  Our server was kind, prompt, attentive and helpful with suggestions. 

If I'm ever lucky enough to visit Houston again, I would definitely head back there for lunch or dinner. They have Sunday brunch items too. If you're in the area, check them out.

Looking Out For Each Other

One of the perks of serving with Mission Year is their emphasis on building community with your neighbors. I've been delighted to hear Abbey's stories of getting to know Miss Dottie and Miss Debbie and others. During last weekend's visit, I enjoyed participating in neighborhood day, which happens every Saturday.

What if each of us took out one day a week from our busy lives, spent it in our neighborhood, walking around, meeting neighbors, only shopping close to home, and investing in our own communities? [That wouldn't work in most of our suburban isolation. How many of us even have a grocery store that we can walk or ride the bus to?] Just think about the implications of investing one whole day each week of time, energy and resources back into your neighborhood.

For me, it was a day of swelling pride and a heart growing bigger with love when I met two of the ladies that are "looking out for" my kid. They both sang the praises to the moms that were visiting for how wonderful our children are and how grateful they are to have them nearby.

What a blessing!

These sweet ladies took a risk letting their young neighbors into their lives. Miss Dottie exclaimed, "I've never let anybody else around here in my house!" These wonderful grandmas have driven the kids to church when it's raining, given them canned food they won't need for themselves, and even let them use their wash machines a few times. As wonderful as these have been, the most profound gift for all has been companionship and another friend to love.

Pride and Stubborness

Jane Austen is one of my all-time favorite authors. And although my situation looked nothing at all like her heroine, Elizabeth Bennet's, this phrase in my title was a play on words that kept humming through my head recently. I don't have a lot of time today to explain, but I think I should at least attempt to try.

Mission Year hosts "Come and See" weekends twice each year in their various service cities. Abbey has long wanted me to come, but I didn't possibly see how I could. (You know where this is going, right?) Well...God being the good Giver of absolutely every perfect gift, as I (and Abbey) began praying for His wisdom and provision, several things "fell" into place that I recognized as being from Him...and some it took a little longer to put together.

First, I kept back some of my Christmas gift money. That is big, right there. Then, I picked up some contract work worth a couple hundred dollars, the very day after Abbey told me she'd be praying for God's provision. I also had two dear friends ready to head out on an 18 hour (one way!) road trip, and to be honest, the hours and hours of girl/Jesus time sounded amazing! One of these friends even has a sweet friend in Houston where we could stay.

Then...like the unforeseen curve in the road, a friend offered me frequent flyer miles to get a free airplane ticket. Suddenly, my well-planned trip had to be reassessed: I couldn't stay with my friend's friend without her. I'm a little afraid of flying. I had it all planned out in my head, Maybe I could take the ticket and pay for a hotel. I'd still have to rent a car in Houston, so would I really be saving that much?

And then He did it.

Yep...this is what I heard: "You are just being stubborn! You ask me to provide and..." I know in that moment if I could actually see the Holy Spirit He would have had His shoulders shrugged, His hands open wide and a look of "Well...what did you expect?" on His face.

My pride and stubbornness was uncomfortable with a free ticket and a free place to stay with a stranger. But these are both Christian hospitality in their finest. There are no strangers in God's family, right?

So tomorrow, bright and early, I'll be taking that flight to Houston and tomorrow night, Abbey will be staying with me in a lovely home with a brother and sister I have yet to meet. I could not have put this all together any better than if I'd actually written the manuscript. It all makes me wonder what other perfect gifts have I missed out on in the past because of my Pride and Stubbornness.

Is there anything that you are missing out on receiving because you've already got it all "figured out"? 

You CAN Go Home Again...

but you'll be changed.

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I anticipated this. I knew it may happen. It does not make me sad. It makes life real.

I joyfully picked up our oldest Friday afternoon from Indianapolis International Airport, hugged and kissed her sweet little ginger head, had lunch with my parents, sister-in-law and niece and nephews, and started the long drive home.

It's not lengthy...but it was quiet.

My introvert who has had her comfortable, suburban world jolted by the reality of a broken and often hopeless one, needed time to decompress. My usual tactic of pummelling my children with questions until they open up was not appropriate, I had perceived as much.

At some point in the journey I must have asked the right question and the conversation flowed more easily. It has increasingly done so over the last two days...yet, there's one significant change that I have noticed: 

She's no longer set off by the small things that used to light her fuse.

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While I knew maturity would arrive swiftly for an 18 year old (now 19 year old) who's sacrificing comfort and the "norm" for a woman of her tender age, I wasn't prepared for the "untroubledness" of her maturity.

I was fully prepared to avoid her triggers. We all have them. In families we learn to step around them to keep the peace. When I've asked about laundry, food choices, and plans for each day, I think I'm no longer perceived as a nag...but she understands that my genuine concern for her is manifested in the little things.

What I've been asking myself for the last 48+ hours though are questions of myself that I think each Christian should delve into and accompanied by the Holy Spirit, grapple with and mold into our being and modus operandi for daily life:

What can cause us to abandon our priorities?

What can help us not to sweat the "small stuff"?

What must happen for me to put into perspective the minutiae of life?

What changes inside a perfectionist to bring them more calm, peace and joy?

The answer is simple...yet profound...

Love!

It may have been long-distance, but I have seen this beauty fall in love with a city, a neighborhood, a school and the children inside of it. She has talked with prostitutes, shared meals with feeble grandmothers in her new home, made pies and candy for her neighbors, taught children to sing and draw and enjoyed a birthday "cake" made from playground mulch accompanied by a preschool-pitched chorus of "Happy Birthday Miss Abbey".

She has also learned the humility of poverty and dependence upon others. She has found pleasure in the simple things like a free, reconditioned bike, local taco stands and new friends that quickly become family.

She has found new outrage inside of herself. While others her age are frustrated with the latest iPhone update or that their favorite cafe' no longer carries their preferred mocha, she has discovered fury over racism, injustice, deep poverty, and the desperation that drives people to merely survive instead of thrive.

She has found her Voice...and it is a melody of grace.

How To Let Go?

As a 40-something mother of four, I am thankful to a God who once planted into my soul that one of my greatest blessings would be to release our children into His service. I didn't know the how, the when, the where, or the why...I only knew from very nearly the start of the parenting journey that releasing them to His care and provision would always be one of my greatest acts of obedience.

When you're knee-deep in diapers, the throes of homeschooling woes, with the seasons flying by you in a blurry flurry of birthdays, holidays and milestones, sometimes it takes great effort to remember that these little gifts will one day have a mind of their own...and greater still...a path of their own. And then one day you wake up and it's time to start thinking about things like college vs. technical school vs. (dare we say it?) setting aside conventional thought and going straight into the plans God has for your child.

I'm not a parent that was blind-sided by my child's passion to serve Him and live out her giftedness. But if I had been, I guess I'd have to trust His leading and call upon her life. I'm not a parent that fears inner-city ministry. I'm thankful for documentaries, books and compassionate leaders that have opened my eyes to the gifts that people living in deep poverty have to offer to willing learners.

I'm by no means a perfect parent. Although I set aside my fear for her safety long ago, as the days quickly drew nearer for her to fly, the doubts assailed me. But I know I serve a God who laid down His greatest Gift for me, so how could I offer any less for those that need to know His Love and selfishly ask her to stay home?

From the first day that I saw Mission Year mentioned on The Simple Way's website, until the day she boarded that plane to Atlanta, it has been an absolutely beautiful journey to behold. Watching Abbey struggle with fear and overcome her doubts, the sometimes palpable stress of the unknown and using her specific gifts and passions to raise funds...only her Abba could be more proud than her parents have been. Her journey has already inspired many...including her own Mama.

I have repeatedly been awed and inspired by this Millennial Generation that is drawn by the Holy Spirit to abandon what my generation was told would give them comfort and ease. I love the Millennials, their passion, their devotion, their heart for service.

It's funny, when you think about "letting go"...I guess the peace is found in knowing that she was never mine to begin with.

It Was a Beautiful Thing

Today, I had the indescribable blessing of witnessing a vision become a reality. This isn't an everyday occurrence, so I tried my darnedest to soak in every nuance of the experience. Sometimes visions are subtle in their culmination...this one has been a full-on, blazing-signposts-pointing-the-way sort of dream.

I've been choking back the tears for a few weeks now and I held it together as long as I could in the pre-6 a.m. hours of the morning, but they managed to pour forth, just as I suspected they would.

And with one last shot of the Four...

and a goofy, extra one (which is perfectly fitting for this crew), God's plan for living out Light and Truth as a family of 6, became God's Vision being fulfilled for one who is ready to live and Love in the Name of His Son, Jesus, as she disappeared in a blurry, flurry of security checks and early morning flyers.

As Rebekah adeptly asked immediately following our last "Goodbyes" of the morning...

"What now?"...

That is a question I've pondered all day as the tears have continued to pour forth off and on throughout the day. I think for now, the answer is...

We start asking God what His plan is for living out Light and Truth as a family of 5. Oh, we'll always be a family of 6...well, I guess there is the possibility it will grow larger someday...but as Abbey fulfills God's Mission Year, I can sense that she has already inspired the five of us to a deeper willingness to obediently abandon it all so that we can live and Love in the Name of Jesus.

She's Ready to Fly

Almost two years ago, Holy Spirit gave me a very clear vision of one day watching our daughter, Abbey, walking down an airplane terminal as she headed off to serve God. I didn't know where. I didn't know when. I just knew as certain as my soul belonged to Jesus, that it would happen. I even saw myself weeping...not out of fear or grief...but in awe,  praise, and wonder at a God who allows us humans the privilege of participating in His Kingdom work. 

When I had this vision, I barely knew of Shane Claiborne and had not read his life-changing book. I did not know that you could visit The Simple Way in Philadelphia, a place that Shane and his friends started right out of college. I did not know they had a Hospitality House where you could stay in the neighborhood where TSW seeks justice for the poor, serves the widow and the orphan, and loves "the least of these". 

When the Spirit gave me this vision, I did not know that while researching this trip to Philadelphia and The Simple Way, that they would recommend a group called Mission Year that seeks justice for the poor while living simply and in intentional community amidst some of the toughest neighborhoods in some of our biggest U.S. cities.

I had no clue when I first learned of Mission Year, that less than a month later, I would have breakfast with one of the men who created Mission Year, Bart Campolo. I also didn't know how that unexpectedly insightful conversation would refine not only my mission, but how our entire family approaches ministry and mission.

When the vision began, I could not possibly know that my "Abbey, you should check them (Mission Year) out", would fan the flames of an 18 year old's desire to serve Jesus, love people in His Name and serve in intentional community with other young adults who want to live out the Gospel with hands and feet on broken pavement in our deeply impoverished urban environments.

I could not have known then, the blessing of watching the Beauty of God at work...seeing Abbey struggle through her fears, her doubts, her concerns if she could live up to the commitment...and watching His grace and Love wash over her again and again.

I did not know then that when she pushed that "Submit" button and committed the next year and a half of her life to raising awareness,  fundraising, and fulfilling that mission year that she would be assigned to live in Houston, Texas beginning on September 5th.

I did not know nearly two years ago that the phrase "She's ready to fly" would play over and over in my mind...almost unconsciously at times...never making the connection.

And how could I know, that as we plotted and planned how we would rent a car and drive her to Atlanta for training, Mission Year would specifically ask that she fly to begin her journey when the day finally arrives.

When the reality of how God had orchestrated all of these events to call a young woman into His Kingdom work caught up with my awareness, I could not help but tear up at His compassion, His mercy, and His grace. I know He gave me that vision so that I could boldly accept His will for Abbey and release her into His care and His provision when the time was upon us.

I know we aren't always given such amazing clarity with every choice laid before us. I guess I'm not only thankful for when He does give it...I'm at a place where having experienced this, I know I can trust Him the next time He does. 

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If you'd like to follow Abbey's Mission Year to Houston, Texas, you can find her blog at

nonetensnaresme.wordpress.com