There Comes a Time...

...when if your prayers are being answered, your child becomes not just your child, but also your sister or brother in Christ. God's been growing this idea in me for a long time, first in my own experience as a daughter...and now, on the flip-side...as a parent.

It's been creeping up on me and I've stood back amazed many times over the last few years as my daughter has grown in wisdom, compassion, discernment, giving and love...and sometimes far outstripping me in the quantity of each. But this past week as bits and pieces of her mission trip to Toronto came out in our conversations and finally with the culmination of her recommending to me...several times...that I needed to read Captivating, God blessed me with the awesome awareness that in some respects, a "line" has been crossed. 

This trip to Canada was one I had to (not so politely) nudge her into doing. When she called me at the border crossing back into the U.S. and said, "yeah...but I wish you didn't have to push me out of the nest..." I  pretty much knew that the Holy Spirit was telling me, "And next time, you won't have to!"

It's been marvelous and beautiful and yes, sometimes painful to behold this process of guiding, teaching, molding and then letting go. But to be able to sit down now with a sister that loves Jesus and still loves me (despite knowing almost every flaw I have) and talk about the things of God...which is all that really matters anyway...I wouldn't trade one tear, one near panic attack, one headache, one smile or one minute of it for anything!

And as I sat beside my son in church today and observed that he didn't just grab the juice and bread and instantly consume them, but rather held them and prayed for a few moments...in that instant I asked God to show me His hand molding the other three as well. They are all on the journey of a lifetime, and while I know none of us are perfect (as they often remind me and each other!) I know that God will not stop the work He has begun until it is completed. (see Philippiians 1:6)

Amen!

Dying a Little Death

A passage I read today in Philippians 3 reminded me of something I heard a speaker say several years ago: "Every day we die a little death." [I considered titling this post "I'm Dying" but I didn't want to be sensationalistic just to get readers to click on my blog.]

Verses 8-11 really hit me though. The devotional on the life of Paul wasn't headed down the same line of thought that I was. That's one thing I love about reading scripture and asking the Holy Spirit to lead. I could follow the author's train of thought and still find some meaning in it...but His lesson for me was specific to what I needed to hear.

In verses 8 and 9, Paul is reminding the Philippians that his heritage, his education, his training and experience are all "rubbish" (verse 8) compared with what he gains in his relationship with Christ. And what he really wants to know is "the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death." (verse 10).

Really? Have I ever asked God to let me know and even fellowship with Him in His sufferings?

I was reminded of a conversation I had right after tax season ended this year. I told my friend, Kari, that I looked forward to the time when I'm not working because then I'm more dependent upon God and am drawn closer to Him and even see Him do more in my life...that would be only by this same power displayed at the resurrection. Looking back, I know this is when the attack on my fears, doubts and worries began. My enemy used my insecurities to distract me from dependence upon the Holy Spirit.

But when a few weeks ago He refocused my heart and my mind on Him and even "put to death" my fears, doubts and worries that's when I began to see His power at work again. I'm certain the Holy Spirit was always working, but because I didn't die to my fears, etc., I couldn't see Him.

Do you remember that there were Roman soldiers at the tomb when the stone rolled away? Yet, we are never told that their lives were transformed. I have to ask myself, what were they not willing to die to in order to witness the true power of the resurrection? Was it pride? Fear of being fired, or even killed for losing a dead corpse and leaving their post? Was it belief in the republic over the person? (Yep, that one is appropriate to ask ourselves in this election season!) Whatever the reason, the power of the resurrection was right before their eyes...and yet, they missed it.

Processing through this, I had to ask...what do I need to allow Him to put to death so that I can witness the power of His resurrection? If this sounds foreign to you, maybe you haven't yet learned that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is the same Holy Spirit power that lives inside you as a Jesus follower.

Following logical thought then (which is just how my brain works):  at least in our culture here in the U.S., why do we not experience His power more often? Why aren't miracles happening frequently? Why aren't the numbers of Jesus followers being added daily as they were in the church described in Acts? Why aren't amazing things being done in the name of Jesus all over this country that only confound and astound and draw to Jesus those who don't already know Him?

If Paul's logical train of thought is true...maybe we have some dying to do.

Amen!

Nativity

I love nativity scenes! We have several. I sort of collect them. We have porcelain, plastic, Little Tykes, one that Avon used to make, a nativity Advent calendar (actually two!), a handmade fabric set sewn by my Mom, one I inherited from my grandma and even a hinged stable that when you open it, you see all of the people inside. At after-Christmas sales, nativities are the first thing I'm looking for.

A long time ago, I read a story by a woman that also collected nativity scenes and her family kept a different one out all year just to remember Christmas every day. I thought that was a good idea, so ever since, I've done the same thing.

But what is it that fascinates me so about these little scenes? I mean, they're cute but it's not like any of ours are worth money. Several of the kid-friendly ones have even been slobbered on numerous times over the years. And although this word has come to mean almost exclusively "the birth of Christ"...it's actually meaning is simply, birth.

No, I don't think it's the monetary value or the cuteness or even any emotional or historical sentiment...rather I think it's something...more. After all, I've never been known to be a sentimental person. I think, for me, it's the reminder that no matter how cute we dress up the stable with shiny halos on the holy family or beams of light shining down (like the photo above)...the simple fact is that the Creator of the universe entered into the human existence the same way we all do...a bloody, wet, crying mess. But He went even further.

He was born to a woman whose fidelity and morals would undoubtedly always be questioned. If you don't believe this, there are...2000 years later, still people who question whether she truly was a virgin or not. He also timed it perfectly so that there could never be naysayers who said, "Well, His life was easy because He was born into...(insert your own words here)". No, I can't think of a more humble birth than arriving on a floor strewn with hay and animal feces.

If you're someone who likes to paint a pretty picture of Jesus, I apologize, because I've probably offended you. But I'd also like to challenge you to think along these lines for a little while. What if He'd been born any other way? Would the deeply impoverished, the orphan, the single mom, the hated and despised ever have believed the Savior could love and understand their plight? Probably not.

Just in case you think I'm making too much out of this...because we want to protect our delicate sensibilities...don't listen to my words...listen to God's:

"(Jesus), although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death even death on a cross." (Phil. 2:6-8)
"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich." (2 Cor. 8:9)

So the next time you see a Nativity scene, enjoy the beauty, delight in the wonder, tell your kids the story of Jesus...but also take a moment to imagine the dirt...imagine the smell...imagine the cold...imagine the loneliness...and take another moment to thank your Abba who loves you so much that He was willing to humble Himself...for you!

I Have a Confession...

I am a grumbler!

Now, to those of you that know me...this is no great revelation. But I am so thankful and grateful to a God who knows our flaws, reveals them to us and patiently waits for us to be confronted with His awesome Truth so we can get about the business of ridding our lives of these flaws that do not reflect Him.

Such was my morning today. Although I've known for years, if not decades, that this is one of my greatest flaws, I have often felt helpless to change this very deep-rooted issue. I mean it's so deep that it goes back three generations before me that I know of...possibly more. I've always known that being critical is one of my biggest hangups and that it can very easily manifest itself as depression, negativity, pessimism,  dissension, strife, gossip and anger. And while God has patiently and lovingly worked on each of these areas in my life, I became distinctly aware this morning just how pervasive my grumbling is. I even confessed to God that to cut this out of my life will be like losing a close relative. I know warped, right?

I kept thinking all of the nitpicking & fighting that my kids do has got to stop...and it does...but yesterday and today, I came face to face with how I am the root of this whole issue. My grumbling, my ranting, my negativity paints a picture for my family that they mold themselves into. And while I may be completely justified in most of my criticism, it makes everyone else in our family look through lenses of doubt, criticism and negativity...and that is not how God wants us to live.

So this was the revelation for today and why I believe Holy Spirit has brought me to the final crossroads on this issue. From this point forward, I cannot deny the Truth, I cannot pretend I do not know. No...today, I have to choose to walk in the Light of His Truth or stand in direct disobedience to Him (yes, sin!). And as I fervently prayed this morning, "Lord, I want to be a doer of the Word...not just a hearer. Give me a teachable spirit because I don't want to continue living this way."

In Jesus Calling, I read: "You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent. Though you have faltered at times, you have not let go of My hand. I am pleased with your desire to stay close to Me. There is one thing, however, that displeases Me: your tendency to complain. You may talk to Me as much as you like about the difficulty of the path we are following. I understand better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you. You can ventilate safely to Me, because talking with Me tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective.

Complaining to others is another matter altogether. It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage. Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out. As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart." (I've underlined the portions that hit me square between the eyes.)

Yes...I do want to have His thoughts in my mind and His song in my heart! And I want my kids to quit grumbling...so it has to start with me, right? Right!

Just so neither I, nor anyone else can say that the passage above is merely a woman's rambling thoughts, I love that the author puts Scripture references on each page. Today's were exactly the ones with which I needed to be confronted. Jeremiah 31:25 "For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." and Philippians 2:14-15 "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."

In my Bible, the Jeremiah passage has a cross reference to Jeremiah 31:12-14 which says God's bounty will make me radiant, my soul will have abundance and I can be satisfied with God's goodness. So each day, as I'm looking at what we have (or don't have), I need to talk to God about my concerns, frustrations, etc. and He "tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective." (Jesus Calling) From God's perspective, I have enough for today. Amen!

The Philippians passage had a cross reference to 1 Corinthians 10:10 which is referring to the Israelites and how their grumbling caused the destroyer to destroy them. Yikes! There have been days recently when I feel like our family is being destroyed by the grumbling and complaining. And where have they learned it? Who has set the standard? Yep...it's me!

And a direct reference to being a child of God is Ephesians 5:1, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children..." To imitate God and demonstrate myself as His child means to give up the grumbling right? Of course! What is the result? “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; ¹⁵ nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ¹⁶ Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

There it is. I've even experienced recently the pure shock at being confronted with another critical person at my tax prep classes. I came away from that experience realizing just how much God has changed me already. But now it's time to go even deeper...so that the ones who know me best and see me the most recognize the difference of the Holy Spirit in my life...particularly in the area of grumbling and complaining.

Now our church is all about making yourself accountable to someone when there's an area in your life where you want to grow and change. So today, I sat down with the four people who know me best and know my worst. These four have put up with a lot from me over the course of their young lives...and yet, they love me still. So who better to hold me accountable than my kids.

I realize I've set myself up to be corrected by my children...and I've asked them to do it in a kind, loving way...but even if they harshly reprimand me when I grumble, I pray that as I'm humbled by the reminder, I will remain thankful to a God who knows my every flaw and yet doesn't grumble against me. I pray that as Holy Spirit changes me,  my children will sense the change and the prevailing attitude of criticism to each other is healed. But most of all, I just pray that I become such a good imitator of God that no one doubts I am His child.

I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart...

If you grew up in a typical evangelical American church like I did, you just read that title and couldn't help yourself from thinking..."Where?"

Yes, it was a catchy tune I sang growing up, but wow! Today...I really do have it deep down in my heart.

I finished (or finished again) Beth Moore's week of studying "Joy" in the Living Beyond Yourself series. Did you know that one of the major catalysts for joy in the Bible is fellow believers? So God really did know what He was doing when He showed us we should live in community with each other, didn't He?

Moore takes each day to go through 5 different catalysts for joy. There are many more, but these are the dominate themes of joy she found throughout Scripture.

1. The joy of our salvation- If pondering on just exactly what Jesus did to accomplish our forever forgiveness and potential for dwelling in Him and with Him forever doesn't bring you joy...nothing else will. (My words, not Beth Moore's!)
2. The joy of discovery- Ever found a treasure in a hidden place? The closer I want to get to God, the more unexplainable He becomes. He is a constant discovery of emotional, mental and spiritual wealth...a real hidden treasure!
3. The joy of restoration- Ever gone through an overwhelming trial or situation when the only thing that got you through was complete dependence upon God? You just knew that you were being sifted or refined and when you started coming out on the other side (because He alone brought you through!) you discovered overwhelming joy instead? Then you know what I'm talking about.
4. The joy of abiding- This is the one I blogged about yesterday (see I Think I'm Being Taught a New Lesson)
5. The joy of fellowship- Let's get into a little...shall we?

Here's some verses for reference:  Romans 15:30-32 Romans 16:19 2 Corinthians 7:4 Philippians 1:25-26 and there are so many more I could share from 1 Thessalonians, 2 Timothy and even the little book of Philemon

But perhaps the one that best sums up what I'm thinking and feeling is this: Hebrews 10:24-25

The NASB says it this way: "and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near."

I know this doesn't mention joy directly, but it is a prescription that you must consider vital to follow if you want some joy in your life! I believe I've posted on here before how when we found out Dale was losing his job and I knew (as discerned from the comforting Holy Spirit) that this was going to be a rough and long road ahead, I made a conscience decision to not isolate our family from others. I was refusing to wallow! I had "circled the wagons" in times of crisis before and I felt like that made it more difficult and took longer to get through the grieving process. And there was grieving that needed to be done. It was a death in essence...a death of a particular way of life.

But what we found was that as people couldn't find an explanation, a rational reason for why we were going through what we were, we found ourselves isolated anyway. So despite our intentions, we found ourselves wallowing. Praise God! He didn't let us stay there forever!

He gave us an awesome couple as neighbors that continued to be an active part of our lives. God cultivated new friendships, "forged in the fire" so to speak...people experiencing their own difficult trials that could not just commiserate but could comfort and encourage us too. He was also redeeming and renewing old friendships. And if that weren't enough, He opened our eyes and our lives to relationships we would have never pursued before because they were "just too messy". But if someone can put up with my mess...I can surely put up with theirs, right?

At the same time God was changing the appearance of our lives as far as physical dwelling, finances, etc., He was transforming our relationships too. Deep joy is found in weathering life's storms together.

I am convinced and personal history bears testimony to the fact that satan can do some of his best work when I isolate myself. That's when consuming doubts, fears and worry assail me most effectively. But when I turn outside of myself, focus on others, enjoy being in their presence...even when the thought of inviting someone over and entertaining them is almost more than I can bear...I do find deep joy.

And amazingly enough, I have experienced what Paul is talking about in Romans 16:19a: "For the report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you..." The situation that comes to mind happened a few months ago.

During my morning prayer time, I was reflecting on all the growth I have seen in my neighbor, Cat's life since I first began to know her. I was thinking of one situation after another where God has grown her by leaps and bounds. The night before she'd even spoken of praying for someone that in the past she would not have considered doing. Holy Spirit just kept collecting these memories in my mind.  I wept as He spoke to my heart like the bragging Abba that He is and said, "Have you seen my daughter, Cat? Look at how she's grown." I had the blessed opportunity to tell her later that her Daddy had bragging on her that morning!



Do you need some joy, joy, joy, joy down in your heart? Then no matter the cost, no matter the inconvenience, no matter the embarrassment, discomfort, pain, or "mess" get out (of your home) and get into relationship with other Jesus followers. If you can't get out of your home then invite them in! And even if you think there's a relationship that's too far gone to be redeemed...I am living testimony that God can heal, will heal, shoot...delights in healing broken relationships and making them even better than they were before.

And when He does, what will you have? That's right...joy...down in your heart!

Here's Another One!

This was my thought as I was just completing my Bible study a few minutes ago...here's another one...another promise I can hang my faith on. The enemy can try, but will fail to convince me that this calling Jesus is placing upon my life and our family is completely from Him. I still do not want to run ahead of Him and try to take things into my own hands and do it my way...but there is no doubt this is were He has been leading us all along and He will be faithful to carry it on to completion. (Philippians 1:6 )

The study today was the second out of three days to discuss, ponder and delight in God's agape love. The basis for all three days is I Corinthians 13 . But the verses that just rocketed into my soul are found in Psalm 119:29-32. I'm going to present them a little differently here. I will write the verses in italics and then intersperse my thoughts and prayers that I have had as I read, contemplate and ponder them. Those are written in the standard text.

"Remove the false way from me,
And graciously grant me Your law." (verse 29)

Oh, God, I am so thankful that in Your mercy and Your timing You have opened our eyes to the false life of pursuing our own happiness and for our own gain. I also know that You have removed the fear of this calling being "the false way". Your call to love others with Your pure agape love is the most gracious law I could ever hope to fulfill.

"I have chosen the faithful way;
I have placed Your ordinances before me." (verse 30)

Thank You for giving me and us as a couple the strength to choose the faithful way. We can only do this because You have been faithful first to us. I delight in placing Your ordinances before me. You recently brought Isaiah 48:18 to me, "If only you had paid attention to My commandments! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea" Ever since receiving this verse and saying "Yes!" to Your call, You have faithfully given me Scripture after Scripture that I am placing on index cards and taping to our bathroom mirror. I believe there may come a day when the mirror is full. How symbolically beautiful that I will no longer be able to see myself, but only Your words written all over me!

"I cling to Your testimonies;
O LORD, do not put me to shame!" (verse 31)

Each day and through each struggle You are leading me to draw strength from these promises that are on our mirror and now becoming imprinted on my heart. Thank You that Your Holy Spirit has been faithful to bring them to mind when the evil one causes me to doubt. Last Thursday, Friday and Saturday I clung to Your testimonies that You have given me and You did NOT put me to shame! Praise Your Holy Name!

"I shall run the way of Your commandments,
For you will enlarge my heart." (verse 32)

Lord, over the last year as I have searched Your Holy Word and sought to crucify my will and replace it with Yours, You have broken my heart for the millions in this world that YOU love that die not knowing there is an amazing God that loves them. As they starve, seek shelter and protection, eek out a bare existence, see no purpose to their suffering and we in the west do nothing, I know You are grieved! Closer to home, as I have watched single moms who are courageous and sacrificial beyond most people I know, I sense Your delight, tenderness and joy at how they don't just survive, but thrive throughout the difficult circumstances they find themselves. You, O amazing One, have enlarged my heart to my husband, my children, single moms, their children and the lost and impoverished around the world so much more than I could have ever imagined. I rejoice when You do and I grieve when You do. Please continue to help me "run in the way of Your commandments"...there is not only peace waiting there for me...there is the agape love of Your magnificent heart to behold as well!

Amen!

Propitiation

Funny how one little word can open up a huge path to understanding God's work in our lives even more. I grew up going to church. I know I've heard this word...propitiation...used many times before. But last week, as I was rereading the book of Romans in the Bible, I came across these verses,

"But now apart from the Law the righteousness of God has been manifested, being witnessed by the Laws and the Prophets, even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus; whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in his blood through faith." (Romans 3:21-25a, NASB)

There's that word that I've heard so many times and yet, have a very vague understanding of what it means...propitiation. Given the context of the verses and the surrounding chapters, plus the sermons in which I've heard it mentioned, I had come to the conclusion that it means an atoning sacrifice. While I think that is true, the research about the word that I felt Holy Spirit led me to undertake revealed that just assuming it could be defined as an atoning sacrifice only scratched the surface of how deeply meaningful this word is.

If you've read more than a few of my previous blogs, you'll know that I am not a Biblical scholar. I am not seminary trained. I am not a pastor, preacher or at this point even teacher of the Word. I consider myself a student...hungry for more of God, more of His supernatural Spirit in my life and full of a yearning to draw closer to Him so that He can transform my life into becoming the godly woman He intended for me to be since He first thought of me. So my disclaimer will always be that this is what Holy Spirit revealed to me about His Word. I can't always back up my thoughts with concrete evidence...but usually just with blind faith...blind faith that He's doing a good thing in me and will carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:6)

Okay, disclaimer aside...after reading chapter 3 in Romans, I wanted to investigate just exactly what this word, propitiation, means. First place I looked was in my Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. The Greek word used for propitiation is "hilasterion"

hilasterion- An expiatory (place or thing), i.e. (concrete) an atoning victim, or (specifically) the lid of the Ark (in the Temple):--mercy seat, propitiation.

What? The lid of the Ark? Mercy seat?

Wow! The wheels were turning now! Everything I could remember about the mercy seat started to come back to me. I knew from a study of Hebrews (that also included studying some of the sacrificial requirements of Leviticus) I did with some ladies at church about 15 years ago that this is where the blood of the sacrifices was sprinkled. Correlations and sacrificial requirements started to fit together like pictures of a puzzle in my brain. The word picture of this and all the meaning behind it was opening up to me like never before. So I dug deeper.

When I looked up the word, propitiation, this passage in Romans is the only place it is used in the Greek. BUT, when I looked up the word, mercy seat...hilasterion IS used a second time in the New Testament. It's found in Hebrews 9:1-5

"Now even the first covenant had regulations of divine worship and the earthly sanctuary. For there was a tabernacle prepared, the outer one, in which were the lampstand and the table and the sacred bread; this is called the holy place. Behind the second veil there was a tabernacle which is called the Holy of Holies, having a golden altar of incense and the ark of the covenant covered on all sides with gold, in which was a golden jar holding the manna, and Aaron's rod which budded, and the tables of the covenant; and above it were the cherubim of glory overshadowing the mercy seat, but of these things we cannot now speak in detail."

Right there in verse 5...the "mercy seat". I hope I'm not making too big of a leap here, but this was how Holy Spirit was teaching me and putting this all together...if Jesus is our "propitiation" (Romans 3:25) and that is also the word for "mercy seat" (Hebrews 9:5) what exactly was the mercy seat? And as the "lid of the Ark" (Strong's definition) what did it cover or contain?

When I researched "mercy seat" in the Old Testament or Hebrew definitions, I came up with nada...nothing. Actually, in Strong's Concordance, it said to see also Mercy and Seat. Well, there are no uses of seat in the Old Testament that refer to this mercy seat. They're all found under the word, mercy. And every reference in the Old Testament to the mercy seat is defined by the Hebrew word, kapporeth.

On it's surface, it seems like a rather insignificant word...

kapporeth- a lid (used only of the cover of the sacred Ark):--mercy seat.

But it's a derivative of the word, kaphar- to cover (specifically with bitumen): figuratively to expiate or condone, to placate or cancel:--appease, make (an) atonement, cleanse, disannul, forgive, be merciful, pacify, pardon, purge (away), put off, (make) reconcile (-iliation)

I never dreamed that such a little word, kapporeth or lid, could be full of so much meaning! Go along with me here...

Jesus is our "lid", our protective covering that placates, cancels, appeases, atones for, cleanses, disannuls, forgives, pacifies, pardons, purges away, puts off and makes reconciliation for MY sin...not His...mine! Wow! He is my covering...my protection!

"But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things to come, He entered through the greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this creation; and not through the blood of goats and calves, but through His own blood, he entered the holy place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption." (Hebrews 9:11-12)

But in the Old Testament there are a few more references. Some are for how the mercy seat was to be made...very detailed specifications to what materials should be used, measurements for the size and instructions for how it is to be constructed. Exodus 25 gives the instructions of how it was to be built and Exodus 37:1-9 describes in detail what this mercy seat looked like. If you've ever seen Raiders of the Lost Ark,

you've seen a duplication of how it appeared.

But this isn't all...there is so much more! In Leviticus 10, we're told "Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took their respective firepans, and after putting fire in them, placed incense on it and offered strange fire before the LORD, which He had not commanded them. And fire came out from the presence of the LORD and consumed them, and they died before the LORD." (verses 1-2)

Leviticus 10:1-15 describes in exhaustive detail how Aaron was to make atonement for the sins of his sons. Aaron's cleansing ritual, just exactly how the animal sacrifices would be selected, how one "scapegoat" would be sent out into the wilderness [Just remembered how our "scapegoat" spent 40 days and nights in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11) before He began his earthly ministry, but not sure that's a correlation that could be drawn at this point?] and how the animals would be slaughtered and the blood sprinkled on the mercy seat. All of this was done to atone for the prideful sin of Aaron's sons and the sins of the Israelites.

But I still had one more question about the mercy seat.(see above) "And as the lid of the Ark (Strong's definition) what did it contain?" Refer back to Hebrews 9:4. Inside the Ark was a golden jar holding the manna, Aaron's rod which budded and the tables of the covenant. Am I making too big of a leap to say that ALL of these were embodied or "covered" by the sacrificial life of Jesus? He definitely lived out the perfection of the Ten Commandments or "tables of the covenant". He also told us that He is the "Bread of Life" (see http://writingabetterstory-ab.blogspot.com/2010/09/bread-of-life.html ) Wasn't the manna God's "bread of life" to the Israelites while they wandered in the wilderness for 40 years? So can I somehow find a correlation between Aaron's staff that budded?

I actually was not very familiar with this story of the Exodus. I had to look it up. And honestly, I was blown away by the significance of all that was coming together in my mind.

Aaron's rod buds in Numbers 17, but you have to back up to chapter 16 to understand the story. It seems that Korah, Dathan, Abiram and On together with 250 "leaders of the congregation...men of renown" "assembled together against Moses and Aaron, and said to them, 'You have gone far enough, for all the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is in their midst; so why do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the LORD?'" (Numbers 16:3)

We're told that when Moses heard this, "he fell on his face". Moses knew the sin of pride and arrogance would not go unpunished by the LORD. He had already told them "I will have no other gods before Me." And Moses walked so closely with God that in that moment (not after serious contemplation or a month of fasting), he knew what God would have him say to these arrogant men. It was a test of sorts.

Each of the men were to take censers (instruments used in offerings), "put fire in them, lay incense upon them in the presence of the LORD; and the man whom the LORD chooses shall be the one who is holy." Kohath was even a descendant of Levi...the tribe responsible for the care of the tabernacle. It wasn't like he was a lowly Benjamite looking to attain some glory. More accurately, he was probably a man with a "little" piece of the action...but he wanted to be the BIG Kahuna. Do you see how his heart was in this for himself and not for the glory of God?

Well, you can guess what happened, right? When Korah and the 250 assembled before the doorway of the tabernacle, they brought "all the congregation" to stand against Aaron and Moses as well. God told Moses and Aaron, "Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them instantly." (Numbers 16:19) But the two humble men fell on their faces before God and begged Him to not be angry with the whole congregation because of the sins of one man. So instead, God told everyone to get away from the dwellings of Korah, Dathan and Abiram. He opened up the ground around their dwellings, "and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up, and their households and all the men who belong to Korah with their possessions. So they and all that belonged to them went down alive to Sheol; and the earth closed over them, and they perished from the midst of the assembly." (Numbers 16:32-33) Fire also came from God and consumed the 250 men who were offering incense.

And can you believe it? The very next day it says, "all the congregation of the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron, saying, "You are the ones who have caused the death of the LORD's people." (Numbers 16:41)

Now, I don't know about you...but I pray that I would have learned from the earth swallowing up people and fire consuming even more to not question God's choice of which man would serve Him in the tabernacle. But I know there are things over which I continually "grumble" to the Lord. Am I any different when I bring the same worries and concerns to Him over and over again?

Read through any of my previous posts and you'll see a pattern of doubt and worry over His provision. But if I read Matthew 6:19-34, and claim to seek first God's kingdom and God's righteousness, I should be able to put a stake in the ground and count on the fact that God will add "all these things" (food and clothing) to me. (verse 33) He even says only the Gentiles (or heathens) eagerly seek "these things" (food and clothing) and that my "heavenly Father KNOWS that I need these things" (food and clothing). Am I any less faithful than the Israelites when I worry about "these things"? You can bet that when I am worrying about them, I obviously am not 'seeking first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness!'

But back to the story of Aaron's budding rod. (I know, this has been a long back story...but we're almost there!) When the Israelites grumbled this time, God again said, "Get away from among this congregation, that I may consume them instantly." Did Moses and Aaron agree? NO! Yet again, they fell on their faces. But this time, they didn't even have a chance to plead for the lives of the people.

"Moses said to Aaron, "Take your censer and put in it fire from the altar, and lay incense on it; then bring it quickly to the congregation and make atonement for them, for wrath has gone forth from the LORD, the plague has begun! Then Aaron took it as Moses had spoken, and ran into the midst of the assembly, for behold, the plague had begun among the people. So he put on the incense and made atonement for the people. He took his stand between the dead and the living, so that the plague was checked. But those who died by the plague were 14,700 besides those who died on account of Korah." (Numbers 16:46-49)

Did you see it? Did you get the little nugget of glory that has made this VERY lengthy blog all worthwhile? Did you drink in what Aaron did? Right there, in verse 48..."He took his stand between the dead and the living, so that the plague was checked."

Aaron was the high priest that stood between the dead and the living. Can't we make the leap to the conclusion that in the same way Jesus is our High Priest that stands between the dead and the living so that the plague of death is checked?? Absolutely! Scripture tells us He is the High Priest in the order of Melchizadek (Hebrews 6:20-7:22). [To read more about Melchizadek, go to Genesis 14]

Is it any wonder then that to prove once and for all, when God asked one man from each tribe to write his name on a rod and allow Him to choose which man would serve as His holy high priest that He chose the rod of Aaron? God wanted no doubt...He didn't just make the rod bud...the next morning, it had "sprouted and put forth buds and produced blossoms, and it bore ripe almonds." (Numbers 17:8, emphasis mine)

I can almost hear Him say, "Any questions? I didn't think so."

And yes, let's put that in the Ark and cover it with My perfect gold mercy seat so if you ever wonder Who is the Bread of Life, Who perfectly embodies my testimony/commandments to you or Who was chosen as My perfect High Priest...the One who stands between your life and the plague of death (physical and spiritual)...you'll remember it's all contained in the life of the Perfect Covering that is as pure as refined gold...the only One that can "cover" it all with His blood sacrifice.

Jesus is the mercy seat...the propitiation. Amen!



**To get even more background on all of this...for I fear my words can never do justice to all that is contained within this lesson to my heart...read Genesis 14; Exodus 25, 26, 30, 31, 35, 37, 39, 40; Leviticus 16; Numbers 16, 17; Matthew 26, 27, 28; Romans 3, 4; Hebrews 9, 10**

Let Him Turn Mourning Into Joy!

Just finished listening to Beth Moore's session on Joy in her Living Beyond Yourself series and I really hate to sound redundant...but can I just say ONE more time that God's timing BLOWS ME AWAY? How appropriate to hear her speak of God's joy that only He can give us in the midst of situations that should, by all worldly appearances, cause us great stress, doubt, fear and even depression.

She quotes from the New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology that "In Philippians joy is thus a continuous, defiant 'nevertheless'". I knew God made me the stubborn, strong-willed, rebellious child for a reason! I love that my life can appear to have no earthly gain and actually can lose everything...yet...'nevertheless' Holy Spirit gives me His defiant joy! It appears there is a good channel for my childrens' defiance. We just need to focus it in the right direction.

I have to confess that in the midst of all this joy I was already experiencing yesterday, I sat overcome with tears. Words could not express what I was feeling. I literally wanted to weep and wail but Dale was in the room. I even contemplated running to the bathroom, shutting the door and just having a good 'ole weep-fest with my Abba. But I settled for a good cry in my chair while my husband looked on.

How could I sit and cry my eyes out when I've been feeling so much joy already?? It can only be explained in human words. Forgive me, they will in no way explain all the emotion I felt in the moment. The only explanation for the tears was amazingly enough...more JOY!

Dale and I were in the middle of a really great conversation about where God's leading us, knowing without a doubt that we are in our circumstances because He has placed us here, going over again some of the thoughts from my previous post and discussing some choices and options we have before us and at some point, my husband went to get the mail (insert sound FX "duh, duh, duh...") and yet again, there was another blessing from our Abba. Woohoo! I was shocked and blessed and said to Dale, that was really nice of the giver. Then he handed me an envelope addressed to me.

Hmm?? Didn't expect a letter from this person. My curiousity was piqued. I could tell it was a letter and was actually a little nervous what it would say. Sometimes I know I deserve a good telling-off and tried to prepare my heart just in case someone was upset with me.

But when I opened the letter, there sat another check and written on the pages were probably the most encouraging words anyone has ever spoken to my heart. You see, it was God reminding me that even when our world seems to be falling apart around us...other people are watching...and listening...and in this case reading...what Holy Spirit is doing in our lives. And when we shut up and let Him show up people will see that it is only He that can do such a mighty work. And I hope by now you know I'm not just talking about providing for us financially!

His work in our lives (I'm speaking about any Jesus follower, not just Dale and I) has an unlimited ripple effect when we trust Him and obey. Yes, His provision for us has enabled us to turn around and give portions of that to people that have needs even greater than ours, but the spiritual ripples are the ones that I told Dale yesterday, "Make me contemplate becoming a charismatic!" So how appropriate for me today to read,

"Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning...
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing." (Psalm 30:5b, 11a)

Then Beth Moore added, "If we never learn to wail in Him, we may never learn to dance in Him." WooHoo! Do you feel the joy?? "What kind of joy is this? That counts it a blessing to suffer?" asks Steven Curtis Chapman. I can excitedly answer, it's the kind of joy where Holy Spirit turns mourning into dancing! That is Crazy Love (to borrow Frances Chan's title!) that our Abba has for us! Sorry for all of the exclamation points...but do you get it?! He LOVES us with a passionate, ferocious AGAPE love, so much so, that what we consider worth mourning over, He turns into joy.

Believe me, I've done my share of weeping in the last two years...make that seven years (but that's another story!)...and He has always been faithful to turn that utter misery into joy as He blesses my life by blessing others through my trials. Does this make any sense? Am I just a big blow-horn that doesn't have a clue? I don't want to be a resounding gong or a clanging symbol! (see I Corinthians 13)

Or is it remotely possible that I have an Abba that loves me so much, He allows bad (in the world's eyes) things to come to me because then He can prove His love, His nurturing, His desire for fellowship, His power and His joy in me?

I contend that this is not only possible...it is fact!

And what an amazing Abba...He doesn't stop there! He also loves His other children so much that He allows me to go through these things so that He can say to them, "You see...I'm carrying Angela through this...I think I can handle your problems too!"

Sometimes Holy Spirit allows you to say things that come back to you later and you realize He was speaking a word of prophecy over your life. Recently two conversations have been brought back to memory that now mean even more to me. In one, a person lovingly said to me, "I wish you guys could just get a break." And in the moment Holy Spirit led me to say, "Living in a place where I am completely dependent upon Him for my every need?...I can't think of a better place to be." The second conversation, I don't remember the context, but I remember saying, "If my life serves no other purpose than to tell people how not to live, I'm okay with that."

To the second one, I'd add that it takes some thought to process all that this fully-loaded statement truly means, but in part, it's this...I've at times lived the life of wallowing, doubt and fear...please learn from my experience that this is never the type of life your Abba created you to live.

I don't know what you're going through...and honestly, you probably don't even realize the full extent of what you're going through. Don't ever allow the enemy to deceive you into believing that you are simply struggling with flesh and blood. Your trials are not just of this temporal world. There is a whole spiritual battle at stake and you have the choice to wallow, suffer and be all by your lonesome or you can wail with Him and let Him turn your mourning into dancing.

Cry out to Him sweet one! He's ready to teach you how to tango!

Mentioned in this post:

Giving with a Generous Heart

Good conversation last night at cell group about our wants, our needs, the things that would make life easier and filtering all of those through God's Mission.
When Wes spoke on Philippians 4:10-13, he gave some background on the Philippians & their giving.

Turns out the church at Philippi is one of the churches Paul was writing about in 2 Corinthians 8:1-5 that gave out of "the most severe trial" and their "extreme poverty". We also talked about how to make generosity more a part of our lives.

The funny thing is, for the 1st time in my life, I understand this. When I was giving out of an abundance, I would often do it grudgingly. But now that we don't have an abundance & we're dependent upon God's mercy...KNOWING that everything is a gift from Him DOES make it a lot easier to let stuff (& money) go.

Then, last night as I was reading through Crazy Love (Francis Chan), what does the chapter start talking about...you guessed it...giving. He even references the 2 Corinthians passage that Wes had discussed. But he also points to the miracle when Jesus fed the thousands.

"Jesus gave the loaves to His disciples and then the disciples passed them out to the crowd. Imagine if the disciples had simply held onto the food Jesus gave them, continually thanking Him for providing lunch for them. That would've been stupid when there was enough food to feed the thousands who were gathered and hungry.
But that is exactly what we do when we fail to give freely and joyfully. We are loaded down with too many good things, more than we could ever need, while others are desperate for a small loaf. The good things we cling to are more than money; we hoard our resources, our gifts, our time, our families, our friends. As we begin to practice regular giving, we see how ludicrous it is to hold on to the abundance God has given us and merely repeat the words thank you."

Hmmm...I'm sensing a theme...over and over again. EVERYTHING I'm being drawn to read in Scripture...the books I'm being drawn to read...confirm over and over again that the American church has gotten it ALL wrong. I SO need to get my hands on a copy of Radical by David Platt! It apparently talks about this "blind spot" in American Christianity that my indulgence, my comfort, my abundance at the expense of others is somehow okay. I've always had a "soft spot" for the poor, but could VERY easily turn my eyes & heart away when I didn't see them.

Now Holy Spirit is bringing to mind REPEATEDLY, the desire to help the "widows and the orphans" and the poor...down my street, in my state (i.e. Appalachia), and around the globe. Holy Spirit just reminded me this morning that this passion is a newly awakened one, it takes time to formulate a plan. It seems like it's a sudden, drastic change...and it is. As I was thinking about it, He assured my heart that as I seek after His (heart)...I will naturally care about the things that He does!

I am SO ready! As long as He leads me, I'm ready to put feet to my thoughts and words...AND take our family along on the journey. I see it in my kids...they WANT more excitement...they HAVE passion, compassion, blind-trust and love. It's time we use these gifts to write a better story!