It's funny how Holy Spirit isn't letting us stay stagnant for long. I've really been noticing lately that I haven't been craving time with Him as much. I'm getting so preoccupied with all the little "jobs" I have that my days fly by & I haven't been in His Word or spent much time talking to Him. It's almost like the weekends are my only chance to refuel & get together with Him.
I AM thankful that He's talking to me, calling me, drawing me to get close to Him and challenging me to seek Him more. I KNOW this is the time to do it...not to stray further before I come running back.
So since I feel distant, I have to ask myself why? It's not just a time issue. I'm consistently getting up earlier than at any other time in my adult life. Now that I'm eating differently, I'm much more energetic & can't blame fatigue. Is there an issue that I need to deal with or have I just gotten comfortable with expecting God to provide so I'm not as dependent upon Him for every need??
OR is something else brewing?? I have a couple of guesses and neither one of them will bring me worldly peace and comfort. In fact, if it's what I think He's challenging me about, we will once again become even MORE unlike most of the people we know. If He's drawing me to speak up regarding community, relationships & love and what He wants from us in these areas as Christians, I'm afraid of the consequences...truly. I've seen two dear pastors torn apart by people because of their teachings on grace. Add to that living COMPLETELY dependent upon God's provision and the community life that Jesus calls us to, and I'm not anticipating anyone really wanting to hear me. So yes, I'm afraid of what He's drawing us to and I think I'm basically avoiding Him so I don't have to hear it.
For now, I pray and I wait (or percolate, to stay with the brewing theme!) and watch for Him to show His usual signs and wonders! When He gives me the go ahead, I pray that I am faithful to speak what He wants me to say!
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