Saturday, July 21, 2012

A Groping Faith



I abhor media sensationalism and so I often emotionally distance myself from the tragic headlines of the day. Still God's compassion and love move me deeply when I hear of horrific events like what happened in Aurora, Colorado. No, it's not on my mind constantly, but I've thought about it enough to not be in a hurry to scrounge up the money to go see this movie that our whole family has anticipated seeing for the last three months. We're also friends with a family, who are friends with someone who was injured in the attack. We don't know this family, but we know they've been affected. And of course there are an unlimited number of posts, news articles and blogs that you can read regarding the tragedy. I'm sharing two: one a Facebook friend posted, So You Still Think God is a Merciful God and one written by my high school buddy and now Artistic Director for the Nashville Film Festival, Brian Owens, I'm Going to a Movie This Weekend. I share Brian's because for me too, movies have always been a refuge...a place to get away and refuel...and also great fun. One of my favorite things to do is see a movie by myself. I quote movies often and I've passed on this love of movies to my kids...I don't want them to be scared to go see a movie.

So why am I even bringing this up? Because God's timing is always perfect. 

How? Three days ago, I read a devotional in Jesus Calling that I've been mulling over and have known for three days that I wanted to share...not the devotional...but the Scriptures referenced in it and how God put it all together for me. But there was that "delay"...for lack of a better word...that pulling back...a hesitancy to dive into it and write for "some" reason. Now I know why. 

I don't have anything new to say. And really what I want to say isn't even my words...and I've struggled for three days to even find a way to put into human words what sometimes can't be described...faith. Not just faith...a groping faith.

Sarah Young writes, "I  (Jesus) am far more Real than the world you can see, hear, and touch." The Scripture references for the day brought this together as a wonderful reminder to my soul of how this could possibly be true. I find great comfort given the struggle to cling to faith I've been having. If you've read the headlines lately or even my previous post Pleading for the Widow, you'll understand that I'm not the only one struggling.

So what is faith?

"Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses." (Hebrews 11:1, Amplified Bible)

If you're a Jesus follower and the next time, you know you're supposed to do something, follow that particular path, or leap into a certain adventure...yet, you cannot explain with your rational, tangible senses why...that's faith. Read the definition again...it is confirmation...of their reality...real fact. Why do we then make faith seem like some existential practice in ethereal voodoo? Okay, that may not make sense. But I am guilty...and if you've been walking along the Jesus journey for very long...you probably are also...of making faith, well, hard. We run around like chickens with their heads cut off looking for signs and wonders and checklists or "hanging out our fleece" (see Judges 6), but all of these rely on our senses of sight, sound, touch, etc. Instead, God calls us to a confirmation that relies upon His Holy Spirit, giving us the conviction of His reality.

So if we're dependent upon His Spirit as our source of faith...where we draw our perception of reality from...where do we find Him in the midst of trial, tribulation and great tragedy?

"...they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us..." (Acts 17:27, NASB)

There it is...a groping faith. When the bottom falls out, when you've reached the end of your reserves, when there isn't even a chance to look up for help because the cavern is so dank and dark and seemingly impenetrable...grope for Him and find Him and He will give you the confirmation of things we do not see. That is where you'll find your faith to carry on, that is where you'll gain the proper perspective of what is real and what is just "smoke and mirrors", that is where you'll discover that He is not far from each one of us!

In private conversations over the years, I've told many people to "hold Him to His word", "grab hold of Him and ask Him to reveal Himself to you", "stay in the dance, don't let go...cling to Him". I know now that sometimes you have to grope around in the dark to find Him first. This is the one time that it's okay to grope Someone!

I feel like I'd be remiss if I leave it there. This post might not apply to you right now, but if you're still breathing...some day it will. As my pastor said a few weeks ago, "Things will get worse before they get better...but they will get better."

Amen!


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