Magic Formula

I have a friend thats wants to read my copy of Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream by David Platt. I just got it back from another friend & in between loans, I'm trying to go through it again quickly. And, yes, once again, I'm being challenged. Dale & I even had a great conversation this morning about how I've lost my focus since about November.
While I'm not surprised that I've lost my focus...after all, I think I DO have some ADD tendencies...I guess I'm caught off-guard by how clearly Holy Spirit is showing me why this has happened. It's because of where my focus went. It went toward me and my problems, my stress, my issues, my worries, my fears, my schedule, me...me...me...

And in the meantime, I wasn't serving others, giving to others or just loving on others the way I should have. Ultimately, even though this wasn't my conscious choice, I was waiting on someone to love me. I was sitting back waiting for someone to call, someone to help or someone to just listen. But everyone was so busy, that the waiting became a long drawn-out process (through the holidays too...which are always challenging!) of waiting for someone to just be my friend. I kept saying that I knew my struggle was with community. But honestly, what I kept thinking was 'no one wants to be in community with me.' When what I should have been doing was initiating community with others.

Then Christmas really exacerbated our whole financial situation. Worry over the kids getting gifts, while trying to cover our bills, while Dale wasn't getting the OT we had hoped, left me scared, stressed and drained! Did I give out of our abundance, no matter how meager that abundance may have seemed? Honestly, No!

Wake up Angela! He has created you for so much more than this...fear, doubt, anxiety and stress should have no part of my energy or time.

In my conversation with Dale this morning, I was finally able to put into words some of what I've been thinking. Now, please hear and understand that I have never ascribed to a prosperity gospel. That means I would never tell you that if you would just read your Bible, pray every day, pay your 10% tithe and go to church every week God will provide all of your needs (and maybe even some of your wants) for you. God never promised us a roof over our heads and in fact, while He was here on Earth, He did not have a home to call His own.

But even though I'll tell you there is "No magic formula", because there is, no magic formula, there was something during those spring, summer and fall months when we were looking for opportunites to give to, serve with and just love on others that the blessings were just pouring into our lives. I mean literally, I'd walk to the mail box every day wondering what surprise He had for us today. And when those blessings came in, my first thoughts after tears of gratitude would flow was, "And what do You want me to do with this blessing, Abba? Who can we share some of this with? Who needs it more than we do?"

So while I don't think there's a magic formula for receiving blessings, I do now believe there is a magic formula for living a blessed life. And interestingly enough, it involves reading my Bible...to get to know my Abba better & let Him challenge me in the process. It also involves praying to Him for everything...especially when I don't know where the next rent check is going to come from...instead of worrying about & attempting to fix it myself. It does involve paying our tithe whether to the church or to a friend that can't pay her bills that month. And it does mean that I go to church (and/or cell group) and celebrate all that God has done for us and worship Him because of who He is.

The end result of the magic formula isn't that I have all my bills paid and maybe get some extra money too. The end result is that I have joy that cannot be robbed by stress, doubt, fear or worry.

Honestly, the highlights of my last 2 months weren't watching my kids open up a few presents on Christmas morning. Neither was it eating a huge Thanksgiving or Christmas feast...nor all the food at any of the number of parties we went to between Christmas & New Year's. [Actually, food, parties & dinners aren't the burden/fun they used to be now that I'm a vegan.] What I most enjoyed were the conversations with people. On NYE it wasn't the food, it was playing a game (AND winning I might add! Thanks Stephanie for doing an excellent macarena!) with friends, or having our family's traditional Christmas Eve movie night & hearing my kids chuckle to A Christmas Story for the first time (and ALL the lines they've quoted since then!). But the best part of my Christmas was truly the night our homeschool co-op went to a nursing home and sang Christmas carols.

Am I saying I should feel proud for doing my good deed for the season? "May it not be so!" (I've started reading Romans too!) I found pure joy watching a room full of residents with dementia holding baby dolls and loving them as if they were real. And when "santa" gave them a stuffed animal, some of them turned right around and went to give it to another resident. As Kari said, 'They're so sweet with each other.'

What an example for me. When someone gives us a gift whether it is tangible or it's God's gift to me of the sheer blessing of living another day, my prayer is I remember that I should instantly turn around and say, "To whom should I give this blessing?" That is the magic formula for living a blessed life...that is the Radical life...that is the kind of life that will 'take back my faith from the American dream.'

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