I just started this book this morning, and I was already in tears...blessed, thankful tears that is! Don't let the title throw you, Reversed Thunder: The Revelation of John & the Praying Imagination promises to really impact me if the rest of the book is anything like Eugene Peterson's first five pages. That's right...it only took 5 pages to have me weeping, raising my hands to God and drinking in the blessing of what Peterson is saying.
So what was he saying? In a nutshell, he's acquainting me with John, the disciple...the one known as the beloved friend of Jesus. Peterson describes John as theologian, poet and pastor. Because he embodied all three, he had a unique way of bring the words of God, as revealed while he was "in the Spirit" (Revelation 1), vividly alive.
Peterson break down each of these three characteristics of John and he begins with the theologian. Here's why I was blessed:
"St. John is a theologian whose entire mind is saturated with thoughts of God, his whole being staggered by a vision of God. The world-making, salvation-shaping word of God is heard and pondered and expressed. He is God-intoxicated, God-possessed, God-articulate. He insists that God is more than a blur of longing, and other than a monosyllabic curse (or blessing), capable of logos (word), that is, of intelligent discourse. John is full of exclamations in relation to God, quite overwhelmed with the experience of God, but through it all there is logos: God revealed is God known."
Ahhh! Sweet peace! Someone put into words in 1988 some of the same thoughts and feelings I have experienced over the last few years.
I want to be "God-intoxicated, God-possessed and God-articulate!" I want my entire mind to be saturated "with thoughts of God". If I'm asking Him every morning to take captive my every thought and to train my mind to be consumed with Him, then naturally what is going to pour forth from my mouth will be "God-articulate". Right? The opposite of this is, of course, when my words are anything but godly (as was the case with my children this morning) then I'm not God-intoxicated or God-possessed.
And reading this today affirmed many thoughts I've had over the last several months. I've even participated in this conversation a few times with people that are close to me. Here's the gist of what I've been thinking:
"If we're in a group of fellow believers for more than a few moments of time, why does the conversation never naturally turn back to what God is doing in us and through us?"
This question makes perfect sense to me...but I've actually been challenged a few times by others regarding these thoughts. I've also listened to discussions from those that are frustrated with relationships where the other party only talks about God. Sometimes I've also sat with fellow believers and run out of discussion topics.
Yet, when I'm in the presence of someone that has the desire to be "God-intoxicated, etc." there is no end to the discussion. You wind up standing outside the library in the freezing cold because you can't bring yourself to walk away from such a great conversation. You don't want to hang up the phone even after an hour and a half because you want to linger in the Presence of the One that is leading your conversation. You long for the e-mails from your friend that you know are going to encourage, uplift and challenge you all at the same time. Conversely, I've also sat with those that say they share my faith in God and the conversation never turns to Him. Sure, it can be nice to spend time together...but I don't long to be with them. There's just "something" missing.
When I've expressed these thoughts in the recent past, the response hasn't always been what I would expect. I've even come away from those conversations feeling like maybe somehow I'm wrong or there's something wrong with me because I want to constantly be discussing the things of God. And then today, I read this:
"The theologian offers his mind in the service of saying "God" in such a way that God is not reduced or packaged or banalized, but known and contemplated and adored, with the consequence that our lives are not cramped into what we can explain but exalted by what we worship. The difficulties in such thinking and saying are formidable. The theologian is never able to deliver a finished product. "Systematic theology" is an oxymoron. There are always loose ends. But even the crumbs from discourse around such a table are more satisfying than full-course offerings on lesser subjects." (emphasis mine)
There it is...the explanation for why I've felt this way. Even the "crumbs" that fall from the table of discussing God are more satisfying than a smorgasbord of other topics.
Please don't think me harsh. I don't even want to be ego-centric and talk about what I am doing for God. I simply long to sit in the presence of those that freely share what God is doing in and through them and will listen to me share the same. I am blessed to have a few women in my life where this is the case. Regular conversations with Lori, Susan, Jennifer and soon to include Kari are blessings that God has given me and I wouldn't trade for anything. Dale and I can talk about a lot of things: parenting, movies, music, books or work...but the things that satisfyany topic can have an underlying spiritual theme...evil or good...and thankfully, she's longing more and more for the good.
I'm delighted to be in this place and even more thrilled that God's workings and thoughts are overflowing out of me...but there's always room for more. If you long to share your story and what God is teaching you, let me know. I'll gladly pull up to that table anytime!
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