He Continues to Amaze Me!

Even as we contemplated whom we should help with the recent blessing we've been given, even more blessings have arrived. I'm downright weepy at all Holy Spirit has been doing.
When I said I wanted to see Him moving, I didn't necessarily mean giving me monetary blessings...I just want to see Him working & join in the fun! I feel like Holy Spirit is reminding me that nothing is above His notice and that not only will He provide for our needs, but also some extras that come around occasionally.
That's it for now, I really don't know what to say. He amazes me daily!

Overwhelmed

It can't have been but just last night or the night before that I fell asleep praying that I would trust God to provide. I have been a "little" worried about paying the rent on time & not completely depleting all our funds. I knew we had enough, but it would be very close & there's a whole list of things that we've put on hold for a little while (contacts, etc.) AND we've been extra careful.

So I knew we were okay, but cutting it MUCH closer than I would like. I think my final thoughts on this concern were "Well, as long as we have shelter, food, & clothes on our back, does it really matter how much money we have in the bank?"

THEN the mail came today...I'm almost overwhelmed at the thought of how the Holy Spirit puts this all together. I cannot BEGIN to express the peace, joy, and utter amazement at my God. HE IS FAITHFUL! And I'm thankful for the ones who faithfully listen to Him.

Funny, I just remembered that the verses I read to the kids this morning was Phil. 4:2-7 "And in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God and the peace that trancends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." We talked about not being anxious & thanking God even in the midst of the storm. Now we get to follow up tonight on how faithful He is to provide and address our anxious concerns, sometimes even BEFORE we've thought to pray about them.

Feeling very blessed today!

Community Life According to James

In Chapter 5 of James, I've been struggling to find a theme. Then today as I re-read it, I realized it's written almost like an anxious father sending his child off into the world & he's scurrying to say everything he thinks that he has either forgotten or is so important it needs said again.

And the theme I think is community living. This letter is to the church (not a building, a community of Jesus-followers) and he has instruction for how their lives are to be lived out together:

v. 8 Be patient
v. 8 Strengthen your heart & endure (continued in vv. 10-11)
v. 9 Don't complain against each other
v. 12 Let your yes be yes, and your no...no
v. 13 The suffering must pray
v. 13 The cheerful must sing (maybe to help encourage the ones suffering??)
v. 14 The sick should call the elders to pray over & anoint him in the name of Jesus
v. 16 Confess your sins to each other & pray for healing
v. 19 If anyone strays from the truth, attempt to turn him from the error of his way

And that's it. There's no summary, no closing, no goodbyes...that's it. Makes me wonder if he had so much to say, he just had to quit or go on forever.

Obviously, this isn't an exhaustive list about community interaction, but it's a good place to start!

It's Funny How HE Puts It All Together

SMX (the temp agency for Amazon.com that Dale is working through) had contacted me late last week to offer a PT evening position starting 8/17. Of course, I said I was still interested...but the thought was a little overwhelming.

Dale & I would never have a complete day off together; Basically, between school, household work & this job, I wouldn't have time for anything else; I would not be able to go to cell group anymore (and Dale doesn't get to go on Sundays so we'd never be engaged in one of these together); I wouldn't have time for hosting people in our home, helping single moms, or pursue whatever Holy Spirit is planning for us that I KNOW is coming.

So Monday, I felt like I was being called to fast on Tuesday morning. This is a relatively new experience for me, and I don't do it unless I feel Spirit-led. This is NOT something I can do in my own strength...if I try, I fail as soon as I wake up in the morning. But the last time, Holy Spirit helped me make it to 11 a.m....yesterday, He helped me get to 1 p.m. (& I even went grocery shopping for 2 hours & wasn't hungry & consequently buying a lot of junk food!) I repeat...I would NEVER be able to do this in my own strength! He is AMAZING!!!

But I felt like the clarity that I received was that it would be okay to continue to take the SMX job. Holy Spirit would help us, I didn't feel that "check" in my spirit (This is the only way I know to describe it!) and He would be faithful to see us through. I also told Holy Spirit that when I did feel the "check"...I would obey. I still couldn't see how this would strengthen our family, but God can do anything...right?

Well, He definitely can!

I start to tell Dale Tuesday evening about what I was thinking & he blurted out, 'Oh...no...you're not supposed to take the job' I asked why & he said, 'The Holy Spirit told me.' Dale doesn't usually talk like this & sound so certain, so while I was caught off-guard & pestered him to clarify, at the same time I was excited to hear him so sure and crediting Holy Spirit with the decision.

Fast forward to today & guess who calls...SMX. Seems some things have changed & they needed to cancel my shift they had offered. The woman apologized & I (in a daze) said, "No, that's okay!" I didn't shut them down for good, only God knows what could happen in the next month or so, but for now I guess I'm not supposed to work.

And next time my husband tells me the Holy Spirit told him, hopefully Holy Spirit won't have to give me confirmation because of my skepticism...hopefully, I'll just trust & believe.

I could blog for another hour about all that I am seeing Him do...not just in me...not just in Dale...not just in our family...but even in the people around us. I can see in their faces & hear in their words that Holy Spirit is calling us to take part in His amazing work! Hold on...He's just getting started!

Well...I Did It!

We have a new child in our family...sort of! I took the plunge & we're now a World Vision sponsor of Lazarus from Zimbabwe. How will we do this every month? Only God knows...literally! But as much as we waste at drive-thrus & on our own pleasures, it shouldn't be too difficult to trim only $35 from the budget each month...right?

But I couldn't wait for the budget to get in order. I've had this on my heart for a few weeks & then in James (of course!) I read 4:17, "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." [Maybe I should just quit reading James. LOL!]

There were a few cross-references:

"For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them." (2 Peter 2:21)
"Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)


How do I know the right thing to do? What is the holy commandment handed on to them? Whose burdens do I help to bear?? In other words, how do I know that this sponsorship is what I was supposed to do?

Because as I study Scripture & seek after the Holy Spirit, I come to know the heart of God. I cannot study God's revealed Word to us with out it becoming very clear that His heart holds a special place for the poor, the defenseless, the widow & the orphan. He cries out to us time & again through the Law, the Prophets & Jesus himself to take on the injustice & inequality of this world and try to do something about it.

So our family has a new child in it...sort of. I chose him for a few reasons: His mom is a single parent; He shares a birthday with our daughter Rebekah; We need another boy to be a part of our lives; He lives in a part of Africa that has been devastated by HIV/AIDS; but most of all, his name (Lazarus!) reminds me that Holy Spirit is bringing me back from the dead...end life that I was pursuing.

Now I have just one question...What do you have for our family next, Abba? I can hardly wait in anticipation of the joy it will bring! Amen!

Friend v. Enemy

Right now, I can only get through about 2 verses of James at a time. It is SO convicting, challenging and in my face that I read about that much & then need a day or two to chew on it. In the meantime, I've finished Radical and have started another, The Hole in Our Gospel.

[I'm so amazed at what God is doing in us. Dale had 2 books in at the library & I went with him to pick them up...both about worldwide poverty. I was filled with thankfulness (the only way I know to describe it) that Holy Spirit is bringing us both in the same direction...that's how I know this is Holy Spirit working & not just a guilty conscience.]

But I went back to James this morning...4:4-5, "You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: 'He jealously desires the Spirit, which He has made to dwell in us'?"

See what I mean? If I call myself a Jesus follower, I can't pick & choose which verses I want to apply to my life. I have to accept & apply the whole thing. If I REALLY think through this verse, my life will change drastically...and that's not an exaggeration. As an American Christian, this is a tough pill to swallow.

What does James mean by friendship...where's the line?? I could say He's only talking about obvious evil, but then what do I do with Scriptures like Romans 8:7 "The mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God." or I John 2:15, "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."

I think he's talking about more than just obvious evil. Do I really need the latest CD, DVD, video game, magazine or a Diet Coke everyday (ouch!) when at least the first four cost the equivalent of 1-4 weeks wages for most of the world?? Do I really need to spend most of my day trying to plan what I'm going to fix for dinner when a simple meal provides the same nourishment & costs less?

And James 4:5 about the Holy Spirit being jealous to live in me. Wow! That makes me stop. I'm reminded of how Francis Chan wrote about Galatians 3:13-14 "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us...so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith." Jesus went through his tortuous death SO THAT the Spirit can live in us...no wonder He's jealous to live in us!!

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own?" I Corinthians 6:19

I am not my own??

That most definitely flies in the face of American do-it-yourselfness. Hmmm??? If I am not my own, then I belong to the Spirit and HE tells me what is friend to Him & what is a friend to the world. I have to ask HIM about every purchase, every meal, everything I do with my time, every thought, every action...with everything I do, think or say, am I acting like a friend of the Spirit or a friend of the world?

As I prayed this morning, I said, "It's like You're re-wiring me." And it is! It's frightening and exciting. Idols I've struggled with for YEARS are being painfully pulled away. And sometimes it's not so painful. It's easier to give up McDonalds when I remember that it's not only unhealthy (which has never stopped me, sadly!) but also costs about 2-3 days wages for most of the world. Is it so tasty & good for me that it's worth 2-3 days wages??? If I can't answer that one in the negative then there is something seriously wrong with me.

Bottom line...He wants ALL of me. He wants me to love the things He loves & hate the things He hates. The scales are falling from my eyes one by one and I'm daily amazed to see the world through His eyes. This is proving to be an amazing journey & I can't wait to see where He takes us next!!

Prayer

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness,
and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more.
I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace.
I am ashamed of my lack of desire.
O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee;
I long to be filled with longing;
I thirst to be made more thirsty still.
Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee,
so that I may know Thee indeed.
Begin in mercy a new work of love within me.
Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away."
Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee
up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long."
--A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

Waitin' on the World to Change

One of my favorite songs. I can't tell you all of the words...but the title alone says a LOT about how I feel.

I don't want to say I'm in a funk...because I'm not depressed...what I am is restless. There is so much to do, so many opportunities to serve, but I'm not sensing any more clear direction from Holy Spirit about where to begin.

Helping single moms is something Dale & I want to do, know we should do, and feel confident it's what Holy Spirit wants. BUT, there's still this knawing (for lack of a better word) at the back of my mind that there's even something bigger out there to do. Maybe these single moms will lead by example in giving out of their limited resources to those that have even less than they do. [I already saw this last week as JM rallied people to help another mom with a boat-load of groceries & gifts! It was amazing to sit back & see how excited she was to serve when by all rights she could be wallowing in her own misery. But she was Holy Spirit led & inspired & because JM obeyed, God received the glory for a great blessing to another family.]

I KNOW our service and sacrifice for God doesn't have to be BIG to be needed & appreciated. But I can't explain it other than to say I am still...restless!

I know helping single moms could become something bigger than we ever dreamed or imagined. BUT reading Radical just affirmed what I already believed..even most single moms in the U.S. are richer than 85% of the world. In fact, if you make more than $10K a year, you are in that top 15% of the richest people in the world.

Impossible to believe?? 1 billion people survive on $1 a day or less; 2 billion more survive on $2 a day or less. That means 3 billion people (or close to half of the world's population) are living on $2 a day or less. 26K (yes that's 26,000) children die EVERY day from malnutrition, unsafe drinking water & preventable diseases. Problem is I'm finally grasping this when we are not even making enough to cover our own living expenses. BUT I KNOW God is faithful & we can continue to give away more & more & He will STILL see us through!

This doesn't mean He'll provide the American standard of living...just make sure we're fed, clothed & have a roof over our heads. Our family might need to learn to eat more beans & rice (& this would actually be healthier anyway!). But I don't think this will be because we're starving...but as a way to keep curbing expenses so we can give more to others.

Now, as I'm doing all of this waitin' on the world to change (which is actually waitin' on ME to change!) I'm STILL...restless! I'm having trouble sitting still & listening to conversations about schools, where to eat, what new movies are good to see & what back to school specials I can get where. Yeah, that glue stick may only be 15 cents, but do my kids REALLY need another one when we have 10 open already?? And I'm not just trying to be a tightwad. If I'm paying 15 cents for it...what person (maybe 1/2-way around the world) had to receive slave wages while making it so that I could get a good deal??

I'm struggling a LOT with a judgemental spirit and I know that it's wrong. I need to be obedient to what God has called ME to do...and let Him work in others as He is me. It just seems like there are SO many MORE important things than what most of us talk about on a daily basis. If we don't want to talk about the tragedies of world poverty, the AIDS crisis or slavery that still exists in the world...please let's at LEAST talk about what Holy Spirit is doing in our lives, how much He loves us & brainstorm some ways we can serve Him. I KNOW this sounds judgemental...forgive me...BUT I'm still...restless.

Grateful For Goofiness

Nothing profound to say today. But Holy Spirit is STILL working...He always is...I just have to get out of the way & obey!

But I was trying to think of something to post & my 12 year old son just came in our room and was being goofy. If you know Noah, this is NOT unusual. This is the boy who will do his "Irish jig" in the middle of any mall or restaurant where you ask him to do it. This is the kid that has impeccable comic timing (learned from his mother!). And this is the one that if there's not enough conversation at dinner will just let out a whoop (or scream!) just to lighten the mood.

So, for today...I'm grateful for goofiness. I know he won't always live with us & make us laugh...I'll enjoy the free comedy while I can!