He's Just TOO Good!

Wow! I don't even know where to begin. 

I do know I have been strangely silent. Houston sort of did me in. 

In a good way.

Then, as we knew the date was drawing near that we could start looking for a house, all sorts of crazy things started happening. 

Number 1, all of these fears that I didn't remember that I had started bubbling up to the surface. Failure, how others see me, people who have treated me as "less than" in my past, uncomfortable conversations with those close to me and stress...lots of stress...all consumed me until I realized I was keeping God at arms length. I was involved as a leader in our study of Jonah at church, but I would wait until the last possible moment to complete the homework in an attempt to fly through it and not absorb much.

But God is faithful.

Almost every page had some word, scripture or author note that would grab me and not let go until I wrestled through it with my Abba. 

While all of this internal stuff was taking place, I experienced what Jonah study author, Priscilla Shirer, calls a "divine intervention". Through two conversations that took place with friends who both have a servant's heart, I learned that the racetrack in our county has 100-150 people that live in 6x6 foot or 12x12 foot concrete block rooms. They live near and work with the horses every day from mid-November to mid-April and then move on to another area track for the summer.

I was undone.

I didn't even have the details yet and I found myself broken and grieving that a place I drive by multiple times a week houses people in conditions that are reminiscent of a Third World country. When I met with the chaplain for the "backsiders", I was blessed to see where God is already working. The day I met Doug I told him that I would definitely attempt to gather a group of people to help at one of his chapel services (which we did in early February), but my "dream" was to throw an "End of Season" party for these people who work insanely difficult jobs in conditions most Americans don't want to acknowledge exists.

That party will take place next Saturday, the 11th!

God is faithful.

Over 120 ladies in our Women's Bible studies are participating in some way. The "coincidences" of how all of this played out have overwhelmed me to the point that I again found myself keeping God at arms length. I told Him...straight up...that I could not do this, but I knew He could. And how He has, was simply more than my heart and mind...even my soul...could take in.

The mornings when I woke up to see 6+ inches of snow on the ground or the wind chill was -20 degrees, all I could think about were this precious people who had been out since 5:30 a.m. grooming, exercising and feeding horses, or mucking out the stables...thrilled to have work and send home a majority of their meager pay to relatives each week. 

How could I even begin to draw up a list of demands for God to meet regarding a home and my timetable for having it? But I did.

And as I jumped through all of these "hoops" and allowed Him to refine and muck out my own life, while attempting to obey His call, I didn't realize that I was writing a contract of sorts with Him. You see, I thought if I let Him do all of His work, and I obediently followed His lead, He would give me my heart's desire.

But God is faithful.

One week, as I wallowed in my lack of understanding and my disappointment that God was not living up to His end of my bargain, I said to a friend, "You might as well grow a plant over me and call me Jonah!" Yes...I was mad. 

Appropriately so, our study that week included Jonah's anger at God and God's question to Jonah pierced Jonah's fury so fully, that the same question smacked me upside the head several thousand years later: "What do you have to be angry about?"

I had some deep soul-searching and surrendering to do.

And God is faithful.

When we finally began looking at houses, I knew our options were limited and having let go of my expectations of God and finally put Him first in the process...He led us to a place that is beyond perfection. It's so perfect for all of us, that I couldn't even have dreamed it up.

That verse...that one that we say all the time, but I'm not sure that we ever really believe...that one that talks about God doing "immeasurably more than all that we can ask or imagine"...I am here to tell you that one is true. It would take two more blog posts of this length, or more, to tell you all of the surprises, graces and struggles that have taken place since the dawn awakened on 2015. Am I surprised that His Spirit prodded me to ask to see His Kingdom this year? I know this is long, but if you want to hear the full story, come visit me on the front porch of our home in a few weeks and we'll have some coffee. Or better yet, join me in my garden. I'm not sure you'll believe me, but the only way I know to sum it up here is...

my God is faithful!

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And just one more thing...I think He wanted to throw the proverbial "cherry on top" last week. When I finished my latest review and looked through the options for my next book, guess what was available and begging for my attention? Yep...a how-to guide for small space gardening. How's that for amazing?

I Think She Gets a Bad Rap: Sarai/Sarah, (Part 3)

At this point, if you haven't read parts 1 and 2, this post will make absolutely no sense to you. Thus, I encourage you to read them before proceeding here. (Link to Part 1 and Link to Part 2)
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I hope you took the time to read Genesis 16. If we keep in mind that in Ancient Eastern cultures, when a woman could not bear sons...or any children for that matter...she was considered cursed, judged unworthy or guilty of some hidden sin and for all practical purposes, could be disposed of in favor of a woman that would produce sons...is it any wonder that Sarai gave her servant, Hagar, to Abram to conceive a son for him?

I once saw a rather good movie portrayal of this story of Abraham and Sarah. In it, Hagar sat upon Sarai's knees as she birthed her child. I have heard of this in other places and found this commentary that describes the ancient practice. As it points out, we do not know this practice was carried out, but neither do we know that it wasn't. How it was done really is not the point...why is huge though.

Abram and Sarai had lived in Canaan for 10 years by now and no children also meant no one to inherit Abram's massive wealth. Sarai's biological clock was ticking...loudly. If you've ever known someone that struggles with infertility or perhaps you yourself have...you know of what I speak. It becomes all-consuming. Everything is filtered through the ongoing process of how to conceive. What trick, what remedy, what calendar, what doctor, what donor...will finally work.

Abram and Sarai were not only well beyond the normal years for conceiving a child, they did not have access to all the information and possibilities we have today. I think if I were there and she had asked my advice, I probably would have approved of her course of action. And that is not to say I do not have faith. God, up to this point, promised Abram, the child would come from his body. Unless there was information not recorded for us to be privy to, Sarai still had no such promise.

Yet, every Bible study, commentary, sermon and conversation I've ever come across essentially utters this common "If only".

If only Sarai hadn't taken matters into her own hands.

I hope you're beginning to sense that just within the last week, I've stopped viewing Sarai this way. I think she did the best she knew how to do with the information and circumstances she had at her disposal. We also are never told in any part of Scripture that Sarai had a change of heart and repented for her presumed unbelief. So why does God point to her as a pillar of faith in Hebrews 11? Is it possible that God did not view her actions as evidence of unbelief?

We find out in Genesis 16 that Sarai's regret over her actions and Hagar's haughtiness combine for a volatile cocktail that almost destroys Hagar. Yet God still has a plan for His purposes when we miss the mark of His perfect path for us. In Genesis 17, God institutes the ceremony of circumcision as an outward sign that Abram (now to be called Abraham) and his entire household are to be set apart. Did you just pick up on the beautiful nugget that only Abraham and Ishmael would have been among those we would now consider "the Chosen people of God"? Only those two had Abraham's blood flowing through them and Jews and Christians alike do not consider Ishmael as part of the promise. Yet from the beginning, God's covenant was inclusive for all who would follow Him...be they foreigner acquired into the family, servant or slave. Make no mistake, Abraham had a very eclectic mix of Middle Eastern ethnicities in his household...and every man was circumcised.

This same chapter is when Sarai becomes Sarah...'"princess". Also, for the first time, God states, "I will bless her and surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of many nations; kings of peoples will come from her." (verses 15-16) And there it is in verse 17, Abraham laughs and says to himself, 'How can a 100 year old man and a 90 year old woman have a child?' He goes on to ask God to bless Ishmael. I don't know why. Obviously, over the 13 years since his birth, he had educated and cultivated his son to be his heir. It only seems natural since God never intervened and chastised Abram and Sarai for the Hagar incident. Up until this time, they could honestly assume Ishmael was the one.

In Chapter 18, we have the infamous interaction between God, Abraham and the two angels on their way to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. But tucked in this passage is the just-as-famous laughter of Sarah. Keep in mind, we still have no recorded interaction that Abraham told Sarah what God had previously said. Wouldn't most husbands protect their wives from such building up of her hopes? I don't know if he had told her or not. We only know that when she heard it from the very lips of God...after the 13 year daily reminder, living and growing before her that her ovaries and uterus were defective and Hagar's were not...she laughed!

I think this laugh, in and of itself, is not the evidence of Sarah's lack of faith. No...I believe this laugh is proof that there was still an ember of hope. How many people do you know that after 23 years of infertility could still laugh at such a comment? (And actually, Sarah's had lasted for several more decades than this!) Most people I know, myself included, if it were me, would find the bitterness palpable, the rage constantly just under the surface and the angst ready to be rung from your soul at any moment. I'm afraid that to place myself in her sandals means I probably would have exploded and let the Creator of the universe "have it". Don't piously deny that you wouldn't have done the same. Remember, to this point, Sarah has never heard about any of the promises directly from God and we have no recorded proof that Abraham had ever told her.

Certainly...God calls her out on the laughter and asks Abraham, 'Why did she laugh?' And at this point Sarah, 'is afraid, lies and says she didn't laugh.' Trusting that the God who said He is the same, "yesterday, today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8) is just as loving, gracious and merciful then as He is now...without a hint of disappointment or condemnation in His Voice, but with a beautiful gleam in His eye says, 'Oh yes you will, young lady...this time next year, you'll have a son. If I can speak a whole world into existence, this is a piece of cake.'

Okay, that's how I imagine Him saying it, but the theme is the same: No chastising...just loving affirmation.

So three posts later, what's the big deal and why should it matter to me so much?

Come back for the conclusion soon.

I Think She Gets a Bad Rap: Sarai (Part 2)

I began the first part of this post by laying out some common knowledge amongst Christians regarding Abraham and Sarah. I am fully aware that this couple also play large roles in Judaism and Islam, but I am not familiar with the specific details of how each of these religions view their spiritual ancestors. Although I could make assumptions regarding both, I am choosing not to so as not to show my ignorance in these religions.

No, for my purposes, I am speaking to those of us raised in the Christian church or at least have been there long enough to have some common knowledge about the Patriarch of God's people and his spouse. If you haven't already read the first post on this topic, you should, otherwise the points I'm about to make will probably seem...well...pointless to you.

(For part 1, click here)

What I'd like to do in this post is bring forth a few observations that for some reason struck me for the very first time as I read the Genesis accounting of Abraham recently. These observations led me to ask a few questions and look at Sarah from an entirely different perspective...a much more favorable one than I confess I've had in the past. I will also share that my study came from the New American Standard Bible and unless something has been lost in translation, I believe them to be accurate.

• Genesis 11:30, we learn for the first time that Sarai, Abram's (aka Abraham) wife is barren
• Chapter 12, verses 1-3 indicate the first recorded time God spoke to Abram and promised he would be a great nation. The promise includes that those who bless Abram will be blessed and those who curse Abram will be cursed. "So Abram went forth as the LORD had spoken to him..." (Genesis 12:4)
• In said promise, there is no mention of how God will accomplish this. Abram's moving from Haran and setting out for Canaan is interpreted by most as belief in God's promise, but we are not told this specifically.
• Chapter 12, verse 7, God appears to Abram and says, "To your descendants I will give this land." Emphasis mine, because this is the first recorded mention of the land belonging to Abram's descendants.
• Verses 10-20 record a lack of faith on the part of Abram. There is a famine in Canaan, Abram and his entourage head off to Egypt in order to survive. But apparently, a woman we would now consider elderly, Sarai is so beautiful, Abram fears the Pharaoh will take her as a wife and kill Abram. He instructs Sarai to speak a "half-truth" saying she is Abram's sister (they really were half-siblings). Pharaoh gives Abram a lot of loot, including servants (could this be when they acquired Hagar?) because of Sarai. We are not told that Pharaoh ever sleeps with Sarai, but it would not have been out of practice to do so. Regardless of how Sarai was treated, Pharaoh's household is struck with "plagues", and he knows it's all Abram's fault. Thus, he has them escorted away.
• The last bullet point proves that Abram's faith was a bit shaky because how could you believe the promise of God and yet fear for your life. Keep in mind, up to this point, we have never been told that Abram believed God. Genesis 12:7 says Abram built an altar because God appeared to him, not because he believed Him.
• Chapter 13 tells how Abram and his nephew, Lot, amicably part ways because their farming operations had become so vast that the land could not support both of them any longer. After Lot separated from Abram, God reveals even more of the promise to Abram: All the land he could see, as far as he could look, would belong to Abram's descendants who will be too numerous to count.
• When we skip forward to Chapter 15, this is the first time God spells out for Abram, your servant won't be your heir. No...it will be "one who will come forth from your own body..." (verse 4) I would like to point out, this still does not stress that Sarai will be the mother of this heir.
• At this point, God takes Abram outside and says just as he can't number the stars, neither will Abram's descendants be countable. Verse 6 of chapter 15 is the first place it specifies, "Then he believed in the LORD; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness." Yes, the emphasis is mine. But I believe that little word, "then", is there because this is the very first time Abram actually believed God's promise...particularly the part about the heir coming from Abram himself.
• Even though we're told Abram believed, he still asks God, "how may I know that I will possess (the land)?" God then does something no other god has done...He "cuts covenant" with Abram...a man. The full sacrifice is described in Genesis 15:9-21, but essentially God passed between the sacrifice to show His commitment...His covenant...(contract) with Abram. This ritual in that day usually consisted of both parties passing between the sacrifice, but in this context, the entire covenant depended upon God, not Abram. Thus, only God passed through.

I hope you've already picked up on this huge point I'd like to make: No where is it written that Sarai knew about any of this. We are placing our Western assumptions upon their marriage that she knew everything her husband experienced. Also in no place recorded, has God as of yet declared that Sarai would be the bearer of this heir of Abram's.

Keeping this in mind, can we cut Sarai a little slack for what she does in Chapter 16?

Read this chapter in Genesis and come back soon for some thoughts on Sarai's desperate actions.

I Think She Gets a Bad Rap: Sarai (Part 1)

When I say the names Abram and Sarai or Abraham and Sarah, if you've been in a church for very long at all, a few nuggets of their story quickly jump to the surface of your recollections.

• Abram was later called Abraham; Sarai later named Sarah
• God promised Abraham would be the father of many nations
• Sarah tried to create a "shortcut" to this promise by giving Abraham her servant, Hagar, to produce an heir through her.
• This obviously created tension between the two women and the sons of Ishmael and the sons of Isaac still war to this day.
• Sarah had the first recorded LOL (laugh out loud) when God, in person, suggested to Abraham that within a year's time of His visit, Isaac (which means "he laughs") would be born.
• God sealed His covenant with Abraham through the outward sign of circumcision.

Now, I'm not here to debate whether the validity of any of things are true or not. Each of these bullet points are "true". Through my lifelong upbringing in the church though, I have been tainted to believe that both Abraham, and particularly Sarah, attempted to "take matters into their own hands" and we all pay for the consequences ever since. I've also been led to believe that Sarah's laugh was an indication that she didn't fully embrace the previous prophecies of her conceiving and carrying the heir herself.

In other words, I've been taught to believe that although God indicates Abraham and Sarah had profound faith (see Hebrews 11), we can take great comfort in the knowledge that they were not perfect and also doubted, at times, the promise God gave them of an heir. While I do not disagree that Abraham and Sarah were not perfect, a fresh reading of these passages this week has led me to believe that maybe we've passed too much judgment upon them because we have the hindsight that they were not blessed with having. Maybe we shouldn't think of Abraham as being led astray by his wife and should instead place ourselves in the culture and understand the desperation they may have felt.

In other words, maybe if we read this story of a husband and wife in the ancient Eastern context in which it occurred and also read it as if the whole thing is unfolding for the first time before our very eyes, we will be able to cut them some proverbial slack and see them for the huge pillars of faith they really are. Actually, maybe I'm the only one that has doubted Sarah's faith. I could just never reconcile how a woman who handed off her handmaid for sex with her husband and then later chased the woman away, could be seen as this exemplary model of faith.

Well, that is, I couldn't until I read the Genesis account again this week.

Attempting to put all of this into one post was proving to be a very long post. Come back for part 2, soon.

Just in the Nick of Time...Again!

If you've ever spent much time perusing this blog, you know what my title indicates. Yes, God's Holy Spirit asked me to take a leap of faith, be obedient to a call from Him and He would provide the ability for me to do it. Only this time, it wasn't me...it was for our oldest, Abbey.

Back in the spring, when I learned that our church was taking a trip to Canada, I felt an undeniable urging to persuade Abbey to go. She had not expressed interest, she knew no one on the trip, I didn't know where the money was going to come from...but I knew she was supposed to go. She's been a little frustrated with me at some times because of mama bird not giving her much choice about leaving the nest on this one, but for unexplainable reasons...only known to God...I know she is supposed to go.

The trip begins next Saturday, the 20th and only within the last week have I begun to wonder where the funds would come from. We'd already arranged for her to work for some of the money with my family in Indiana, so that part wasn't a surprise. Where the balance came from...was.

We've had to change insurance companies to get the cost down to a manageable level for Abbey because she has to pay for her own auto coverage. I knew we'd get a refund of the balance remaining on our policy, I just didn't know when to expect it.

Now...I know a lot of people that would say "this was just a coincidence", "well, actually you're providing the money", or "how can you call that God's timing when it was just a refund of your money"...and all of that may be true. But...when I took the leap to get her involved on this journey, I didn't know we would need to change insurance companies, I didn't know how much we would get for a refund, I didn't know if my family would be willing to let her do some work for them, I didn't know when the refund would arrive and I didn't know how God would have it all timed out to the last weekend that we could get the funds to the church. So, believe what you want to believe...but I choose to see God's Hand working all of this out just like I knew He would!

Amen!