In and Through

I've been mulling over a lot of things recently and most of them boil down to this one core principle that was eloquently discussed by our Executive Pastor, Tommy Baker on Sunday morning: Am I really going to live as if 'I am crucified and I no longer live, but it is Jesus who lives in me?' (See Galatians 2:20)

That's the penultimate question isn't it?

Do I truly believe that Jesus loved me and gave Himself for me (also Galatians 2:20) and because of this I am dead to myself? When I die to self, I can no longer allow my "flesh" to make the choices...all I do, say, think and am must be guided by this faith in Him as Saviour (again, Galatians 2:20).

But is that how we...specifically I...am living? Too often, the answer is No.

The implications of this are staggering. Just sit for a few minutes and imagine what life would be like lived through the filter "Not my life...but Yours". I know for me that means not being ruled by my appetite, my comfort or my pleasure. It means not buying things or going places simply because I can. It doesn't make pleasure wrong...just that I need to ask Him about anything I want to spend His money on. He also determines where I go, whom and how I serve and when and what to say. Yep...that's pretty much everything. 

Each day, my goal should be that I am one step closer to looking like the person He originally created me to be. In Acts 17:28, this is stated as "in Him we live and move and exist."

What would my life look like when I live and move and exist in Him? I'm anxious to find out. What would your life look like when you live and move and exist in Him? I don't know. Why don't you ask Him?

I Owe You an Apology

If you've bothered to stick with me through the last few months, I owe you an apology. From the beginning, I wanted this blog to be a source or encouragement, truth, hope and authentic Christian living. Well, I may have been truthful and authentic, but I was anything but encouraging and hopeful. For this, I am sincerely sorry.

I do hope that even in the midst of this latest gloom-fest, you did at least sense that I was trying to find the meaning or the purpose or the "silver lining" of it all. I do pray that I communicated well that God was continually faithful in His provision, His teaching and most of all, His love for me. I do believe that even in the midst of my grief (for lack of a better word), He could use some tiny iota of truth that spoke to your heart and either challenged or encouraged you. But mostly, I do know that He was faithful and will continue to be and I do know that even in the midst of my ridiculous worrying, fretting, doubting and self-indulgent pity I communicated through it all that I knew it was me who had the issue...not Him. I did have a lot of questions, but I'm far enough into this to know to ask them the right way...or so I thought.

You see, I was asking why I couldn't hear Him or why was I running from Him or why did I doubt Him when He's been faithful all along. In some way, I guess those questions were valid. I think where I went wrong was to whom I was directing the questions. Was I asking the One who held the answers? Of course not, or I wouldn't have been in this silly slump to begin with! No, I was asking myself and expecting myself to come up with the answer and then getting even more discouraged with myself for not solving whatever the issue was that I couldn't figure out in the first place. Warped? I'll own it...yes it is.

So how did He pull me out of the slump? Well, it started with the realization that He's the one that I needed to let do the pulling. Then I told Him I was going to hang on and not let go know matter where He took me in my thoughts and prayers and that even if He never spoke to me again, I was hanging on for dear life. I asked Him to give me His eyes to see the blessings all around me...even in the little things. I begged Him to hear His voice again. And I asked Him to interrupt my day with songs, scripture, prayer requests and anything that would turn me back to Him. And of course...He was faithful to do all of this and more.

Yet again...we never went without a meal, we never missed a rent payment, we never ran out of gas by the side of the road and we never had to turn someone down who needed help in some way. In an effort at full disclosure, there where times we had to turn down going to see friends or running here and there because of limited funds...but the world did not even begin to crumble because of the choices we had to make.

What I love is that this time, He didn't start giving us financial blessings so that I would have faith. No, this time He gave me the faith...and then came the blessings. There are truly too many songs...too many conversations with Dale, the kids or others...too many scriptures...too many itty bitty delights to recall all in this post to try to sum up how God's Spirit has encouraged and comforted during this leg of the journey. I do have to share two though because they were huge.

When I met with my friend Lori, the conversation quickly came around to my slump...even though I had resolutely determined to not make it all about me. After some tears and some honest frustration and doubt, I said, "I'm sorry that I'm whining." Praise God, He spoke loud and clear through my soft-spoken friend's voice when she quickly said, "I don't think you're whining...I think you're under attack." I cannot describe to you the weight that fell off in that moment and in less than 24 hours when the doubts began their assault again, this time I was ready. That's been almost three weeks ago and when I met my friend Kari this past week, she said she could even tell a difference in my face...I looked more "uplifted".

Since God used Lori to speak truth to my heart, I took an honest assessment of why do I keep falling into this pit? Once again, because I thought for some almost-humorous-because-it's-so-absurd reason that this life was all about me. And in the meantime, the Holy Spirit drew me back to Crazy Love and Forgotten God, both by Francis Chan. These are two books that changed my life forever and just within the last two days, I read yet again how my worry and doubt both "reek of arrogance"...that somehow my problems are more than the "Creator of the Universe can handle". Shame on me!

But here's the one that yesterday bit me in the posterior (okay, at least I'm trying to watch my language a little more).

"I think we all could agree that living "according to our sinful flesh" is not what is intended for us as children of God. Yet even so, we often choose to face life's issues and circumstances in exactly the same way as someone without the Spirit of God. We worry, strive, and grieve no differently than unbelievers."

Ouch!

Chan asks some tough questions too:  If I'm supposed to be "living by the Spirit" (see Galatians 5:22-23, NASB) then shouldn't I exhibit more "more kindness and faithfulness than the Mormons you know?" Do I have "more self-control than your Muslim friends?" And the one that really hit me in the right place, shouldn't I have "more peace than Buddhists? More joy than atheists?"

Yikes!

And thus, the reason I felt compelled to apologize to you, the reader that stumbled this way looking for some "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control" and yes...hope. I was lost in myself for awhile and not turning to or pointing others toward Him...for that...I am deeply sorry. May it never happen again. Realistically, if Jesus waits a little longer before returning...it may. But I know once again God's Spirit will be faithful to speak truth to my soul if I'm listening. My prayer is that next time I listen more quickly. 

Amen!

Mentioned in this post:

Just Hanging On!

Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm verbose. Yet, if you're a frequent reader, you may notice that I've been unusually silent. To be honest...I'm struggling. Nothing new...I know. But, if nothing else, I do try to be honest about my struggles. Yet, I've hesitated to post too much because I really just feel like I'm being whiny. A dear friend assured me about a week ago that I am not...but I just can't help feeling like a big 'ol whiny baby.

I mean, I have so much to be thankful for and 90% of those aren't financial. I'm reading through Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, and while I'm being challenged because we live in one of the wealthiest, most consumer-driven nations on Earth, it's also been causing me a lot of angst I think. Analyzing the reason for this, I can see that there are some deep-rooted issues and misconceptions about Him that God is trying to weed out and unfortunately, I've been hanging on to these issues more tightly than I've been hanging on to Him.

You see, I keep reading this book and telling myself (or allowing my enemy to tell me), "But, I'm not a rich Christian," "I have nothing left to give", "Giving time, a listening ear and prayer, just don't seem like enough". In the meantime, I'm finding myself a little resentful. Ouch! Ripping the bandaid off the self-pity wound here...hang on a minute. This is going to show just how ugly and twisted my thought processes are... I keep thinking..."I'm not the one that needs to read this book, yet, I can't go hand it to a rich Christian and say, 'You need to read this.'" And when I truly grasp our financial circumstances, we make less than many of the people we want to serve when you calculate government assistance and wages together. So far, government assistance has not been God's path of provision for us...it may be some day...but not for now. I fully support those that use government assistance while they are working or going to school and have no other means to survive...it's just not been His plan for our family for some reason that only He knows. [Hope that is understood and doesn't piss off anyone! Just a truth for our family alone.]

So this ugliness of bitterness, resentment, judgment, criticism, fear, doubt, worry, etc., etc., etc., has kept me from embracing and become the woman that God created me to be...one who loves Him above all else and defends and supports the poor and downtrodden, particularly single moms and their families. Instead, I've been wallowing and worrying...two W's that do not exist peacefully with the W I should be doing...Worship! God's brought me face to face with this ugliness and He's challenging me to analyze why it's there, own up to my part of it and let Him root it out. So here goes:

• For some reason...I think partly due to always having lived in suburban, white, America...I have bought into this lie that I somehow deserve financial blessings. After all, many a sermon has said, 'If you just do A, B, and C, God will provide for all of your needs.'
• But in the U.S., we convince ourselves that our "needs" are plenty. We don't live in a place where we only need food, clothing and drink which is really all that Jesus promised to provide if we sought first His Kingdom and His righteousness. (see Matthew 6:31-33) No, we convince ourselves we "need" smart phones, and iPads, and a new car every 3 years, and a home big enough so at minimum each person in the family has at least 500 square feet, and closets overflowing with clothes, and pantries overflowing with food, and lessons or sports for all of our children's "gifts", and 2+ hours spent on the latest movie, and meat at every meal. I admit it...I swallowed the sales pitch hook, line and sinker. I struggle now to backpedal and teach my children differently and embrace the counter-cultural change myself.
• I somehow believed all of the teaching that prevails in America that God will only allow you to be tested for a "season". But what if this is as good as it ever gets? I mean, do you just walk away from a marriage because you made the wrong choice...WAIT!...don't answer that one. God's plan was for you to say "No" to that question. Likewise, what if God's best for our family from this point forward is for us not to just defend the poor and downtrodden...but to be the poor and downtrodden. I mean who better to speak up for the deeply impoverished than someone that has come from "the other side", survived the downward mobility of it all and lived to tell about it? And has the education, wisdom, knowledge and discernment to boldly say, "Oh but Beloved, He never would want you to go through this miserable life of poverty somehow believing that you deserved it!"
• I also was suckered into the undercurrent of American Christianity that teaches "You reap what you sow." That sounds an awful lot like karma to me...and as Jesus followers aren't we supposed to be thriving in and loving the fact that we are not getting what we deserve? Isn't that grace? I mean if we're going to get what we deserve, then we're all going to Hell, right? Yes...there is a passage in Galatians 6:7-8 that alludes to this idea that what we sow, we will reap. I mean, I eat too much food, so I am overweight...but wait...there are people two times smaller than me that eat five times more than I do. So somehow I "deserved" to be born into a food-focused, sedentary family that passed down a slow metabolism that was developed over several generations? Hmmm? I don't know about you, but I can't honestly look at a woman in India that was sold into prostitution as a child and tell her she "deserved" it. That's what hinduism has already taught her. I also can't peer into the eyes of an African mother and tell her she "deserves" to watch her children starve because she was born 20 years ago into sub-Saharan Africa.

With all of this brewing and overflowing in my mind and heart, is it any wonder that I've been "Just Hanging On?" But here's some promises He's led me to in the last few weeks that I'm now hanging on to.

• God is unchangeable and even swore by Himself (because there's no one else God can swear by) that those who take refuge in Him can have encouragement to hope in Him. This should be the anchor of my soul instead of the American way of life. (see Hebrews 6:17-19)
• He reminded me of Beth Moore's teaching and how she emphasizes over and over again, that with His Sovereign hand upon my life, anything that He allows to come my way can be used for my good and His glory...anything. But I have to allow Him to show me. And even when I can't see any good in it. I can trust that...see bullet point above! A song we sang in church Sunday used the exact phrase, "for my good and His glory." Talk about reinforcement of an idea!
• He is with me always even until the end. (see Matthew 28:20)
• Nothing...not one blessed thing, can keep God's Love away from me. (Romans 8:38-39)
• He will not fail me or forsake me. (see Joshua 1:5)
• He won't even forget about me. (see Isaiah 49:15-16)
• And in what has already been a recurring prayer of mine and a more fervent one recently, I know that all of my emotional roller coaster begins in my brain...and I read my friend Christi's blog post about just that very thing today. (see Take Every Thought Captive) This is also a recurring Beth Moore theme.

What conclusions can I draw during this barren time of waiting? One...that I do think God is still molding and shaping us into a different direction. I hesitate to use the word, "squeezing" us into a different place, but that's sort of what it feels like. Two...that He's teaching me to appreciate the "little" (sometimes very little) blessings that come along the way: fresh, homegrown peaches from Dale's co-worker; our own tomato and cucumber plants finally producing a little each day; selling a few unused items and getting a little bit of money for them; time together as a family because we only have a few years until the nest begins to empty; and even a few more that will help cover the bills just exactly how we needed...no extra...but covered nonetheless. And the third and maybe most challenging...I think it's time to tell our story. I know...I have...ad nauseum...on this blog and in person with many others. But I don't seem to see too many books on the Christian bookstore shelves entitled Poverty Sucks! or I Hate Being Poor. This is just an idea that God is tossing around in my brain, but I do think there needs to be an honest voice somewhere in our Christian world that says, "not all Christians are rich and yet they live in an age of hunger...now what do we do with that?" I just know that this isn't a common message in many of the rich suburban churches I've attended.

So who knows? Only God does in fact. And I'm hanging on to Him and not letting go because He's my hope, my refuge, my anchor, my rock and my salvation and nobody is going to separate me from Him...nobody!

Mentioned in this post:

Royalty

You may have noticed that under my photo to the right the only description I've put to describe myself is "I'm a Daughter of the King!". I used to describe myself with a much longer and witty (or so I thought) paragraph of my interests, background and life-situation. But for some time now, I've been content to merely think of myself with these six simple words.

But are they simple?

If you really think through the implications, the profoundness of these six words, the depth...the breadth...and the power of these words is actually...limitless. One place to start is do I act like I'm a daughter of the King?

Most days...no...I don't. And as I've shared on here recently, I've been struggling a little with my relationship with the King. I don't blame Him. I know I'm not sitting alone with Him as much as I'd like. I know I've let stress, play and schedules get in the way of making Him my priority. When I do concentrate on spending alone and quiet time with Him...His peace prevails, He focuses my heart and I feel confidently empowered to face the day.

So why don't I live focused on being His daughter every day? Hmmm? That's a good question. I think there are too many answers to delve into here. But one of the primary ones is that the King has an Adversary who loves nothing more than to distract me with fear, doubt, worry, stress, daily mundaneness, satisfying my own pleasures, guilt and an overly saturated, steeped-armpit deep culture that provides endless opportunities to ignore the King.

Excuses aside, I'm thankful for the Beth Moore Esther study that a friend encouraged me to do. Esther was a queen and she was presented with a seemingly insurmountable task...save the entire Jewish race. This was no Schindler's List. There was no way to save anyone. They were all going to die. And did I mention that if she went to the king, her husband Xerxes, without first being invited...she could instantly be killed? If you've never read the book of Esther in the Bible, I encourage you to do so. It's brief and reading it is not only encouraging, but sounds like so many love stories or fairy tales that prevail in our culture.

And here's what spoke to my heart last week when I read it in the Bible study: I too am royalty, because I'm a daughter of the King. And I too have a purpose that God specifically has for me to do. The famous verse that includes "for such a time as this" applies to us all. We each have an amazing "for such a time as this" destiny to fulfill. The question is simply, will we obey and act on behalf of the King when He asks?

Truthfully, I might not...unless I remember that I'm a daughter of the King and it isn't I who live but Christ living in me and through me. (Galatians 2:20) But when I stand confidently as a daughter of the King, I can boldly and with the power of the Holy Spirit, accomplish any destiny He has placed before me. Honestly, it helps my attitude toward others as well. The comments, misinterpretations or stinging barbs of others somehow lose their "sting" when I know that I am fulfilling my purpose in God's royal family.

If you'd like to learn more, here are more Scriptures regarding God's kingdom and our place in it. Read them and let them wash over your soul...renewing and refreshing you for the journey ahead.

Matthew 11:11
Matthew 13:11
Luke 20-21
I Corinthians 4:20
I Peter 2:9
Revelation 1:6
Revelation 5:9-10

Come back to these Scriptures often. They'll strengthen you for the journey ahead and remind you that no task is mundane when you're a child of the King. Every act has the possibility of furthering the Kingdom and increasing the territory of the King...the question is will you hear His call and heed His will? That's what a child of the King would do. That's my prayer for myself and for you as well. So let's agree together in prayer to stop behaving like and allowing thoughts to rule us that are contradictory to a child of the King. Just think of the possibilities when we each rise up to fulfill our own destinies "for such a time as this!" Amen!

Mentioned in this post:

"All We Need is..."

Love!

Right?

It's exactly what I've needed the last week or so...and it's exactly what my Abba has been pouring out on me! It may sound very melodramatic, but the feeling has been like water being poured out onto a dry and weary land. The odd thing is, I didn't even realize how parched I was.

For several weeks I've been thinking that I should pick up Repenting of Religion by Gregory Boyd and read it again. It's been at least five years since I read it. I remembered it being good at the time and speaking directly to many issues in our life...but I couldn't quite get my head around why I should pick it up again now.

Finally I did...and my soul has been drinking it in...gulping is probably the more appropriate word. From the first day, I wanted to blog about it but have been hesitant because I really don't think I can do justice to the book without copying large portions of it here and I really do want to honor copyright law. So bear with me as a share (possibly over the next several days) the lessons I'm learning or being reminded of...because they are too amazing to not share them!

I guess I could sum up the whole book with the Beatles song title that I quoted in the title of this blog...but honestly, that's a bit simplistic. God's Love is simple, but in our culture we have to be very specific to understand what this Love is not: It's not phileo (brotherly love), eros (sexual love/passion) or storge (affection for a thing). Rather it is agape, an unconditional, never-changing, all-consuming love that is only perfectly fulfilled by God in the life of Jesus the Messiah.

I John 4:8, 16 tell us that God is Love! That's where we begin...and what an awesome place to start! Boyd quotes Peter Kreeft: "Love is God's essence. Nowhere else does Scripture express God's essence in this way. Scripture says God is just and merciful, but it does not say that God is justice or mercy itself. It does say that God is love, not just a lover. Love is God's very essence. Everything else is a manifestation of this essence to us, a relationship between this essence and us. This is the absolute, everything else is relative to it." (Knowing the Truth About God's Love: The One Thing We Can't Live Without)

God's very essence...I like that. Better yet, I've experienced that...and it's great to be reminded of it! In fact, as I've read through these 50 or so pages, I've been reminded a lot of a former pastor we were blessed to have. Weekly he spoke of God's Love and how we are all "loved, accepted and forgiven" and to be honest, there were some people that didn't like to hear that so often. That makes them sound harsh or somehow bad...and that's not what I mean at all. I think they just got tripped up by arguments like Paul's in Romans 6:1 "Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound?" And that couldn't be further from what was being taught in our church. Paul's reply is actually pretty strong, "By no means!" The Cottonpatch Gospel paraphrases with a very southern, "Hell no!" (Sorry if that offends...but for me, it perfectly fits!)

Boyd says, "Whenever the grace of God is preached uncompromisingly, we should expect people who have a fleshly mind to have this misunderstanding (Rom 8:6-7; I Cor 2:14). But it is a misunderstanding!" But I tell you what...every week when I left those services, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was loved...with an unsurpassable, unconditional, unfathomable Love like I would never experience apart from a relationship with my Abba. This was at a time in my life when I absolutely needed to know this...unequivocally...and I was blessed to have a pastor telling me (and hundreds of others) this message almost weekly. Not by coincidence, we came into possession of Boyd's book because he gave it to Dale.

All these years later, I'm at a different place emotionally, spiritually and even physically. Yet, God's love remains the same. But, there are parts of this book that I feel like I'm reading for the first time and I am soaking it up...I guess I'm at a place where I absolutely need to know the Love of God again...and I think I know why He's brought me back to this book at this time.

The message that has really impacted me, I don't even remember reading before. It's so deeply meaningful that I think I must have just missed it completely the first time. I'll do my best to put it into words...mostly Boyd's words though.

When Jesus died on the cross, He ascribed unsurpassable worth to me, to you, to everyone. And because He participates in the Triune relationship with God and the Holy Spirit, they too, ascribed unsurpassable worth to us. Since I have believed (put my trust with) Jesus, I am in Christ. Paul says, we no longer live, but Christ lives in us (Galatians 2:20). Because of this...I too participate in the Love of the Father, through Jesus.

Then here's what's been sinking in and I've been delighting in: As we allow this Love to transform our hearts, our minds and our very lives...we become confident of who we are in Christ. I am loved by the very God of the universe...so it doesn't matter what someone else may think of me. I become assured of my standing before God and it completely revolutionizes who I am...and how I love.

The subtitle to this book is "Turning from Judgment to the Love of God" and as we embrace His Love...open up every part of our lives to His perfect Love...we can't help but want to live out this Love with others. Jesus told us the two greatest commandments were to love God with all of our self and to love others as we love ourselves. As Boyd puts it, He was banking everything on Love. Because of this, we shouldn't be asking ourselves if we've conquered a particular sin in our life, if we have the best facility or programs or even if we're growing our churches exponentially...miracles don't even matter. The one "measuring rod", so to speak, that we can even consider using is "Are we growing in our capacity to love all people?"

So when you look at my life, if you're judging me by any other standard, you are not judging according to God's commandments. Simply ask, "Is she growing in her capacity to love all people?"

I'm still formulating this all in my mind...still chewing on it...asking God to put this all together for me to understand with His discernment, not my own, but the conviction that Chan, Platt, Stearns and others share in their books regarding saving the lost and dying world is valid...for the most part, we in the American church are not reaching out to those all over the world who have not even heard the name of Jesus let alone been helped to understand the healing power of His Love.

Is it too great of leap to say that it may be because we haven't opened up our own lives to the power of His Love? If I truly believe that God, through the life and death of Jesus Christ ascribed unsurpassable worth to my life and allows me to participate in His Love, why wouldn't I want to shout that out to the whole world?

There is a direct correlation to the increase in Love I have opened myself up to and how much more I'm noticing the need for Love in others. For months I've been saying it's God replacing my desires with His. Well at it's most basic, His desire is to Love all...so it should  be my desire too, right?

While I admire David Platt, Francis Chan and the many others that have been challenging me to get outside of my own egocentricity, I'm beginning to see that maybe we simply need to start with proclaiming God's Love. Once we grasp that...even while still in the process of grasping it...as we're filled to overflowing with this boundless Love of God...we won't be able to stop ourselves from proclaiming it to anyone who will listen.

Just in case I wasn't catching on to what He was trying to say, He brought me back to this passage in Psalm 119:29-32.

Remove the false way from me,
And graciously grant me Your law.
I have chosen the faithful way;
I have placed Your ordinances before me.
I cling to Your testimonies;
O LORD, do not put me to shame!
I shall run the way of Your commandments,
For You will enlarge my heart.

When the false love that this world offers is removed and I place His ordinances, before me and I choose His faithful (His really real reality) Way...running in His commandments to love Him with everything in me and to love everyone else as I love myself...what will He do? He will enlarge my heart.

That's why He brought me back to this book at this time. He wanted to remind me of His Love because there is a whole world out there that needs desperately to know it too! Amen!

Mentioned in this post:

A Meditation

Over the weekend, I felt like Holy Spirit was giving me a "nudge" in a new direction. I became aware of how every day I as I'm spending a lot of time pouring out my concerns to Him...I'm not spending much time listening to Him. This is similar to what Sarah Young speaks of in her introduction to Jesus Calling. So I wondered what would happen if I just asked Holy Spirit to guide me to a passage or verse in the Bible to meditate on and then I sat quietly, what would He say?

Keep in mind, this is a hodge-podge of things He's laid on my heart over the last several months and pulls from various verses He's led me to recently. On Monday, as I read through Habakkuk 2 again and sat quietly before Him, an interesting thing happened...I began writing my thoughts. In my journal, the first few lines are from my, first person, perspective but then it seemed His thoughts became mine and I think this is what He wanted me to hear:

(It begins with me...) "The knowledge of Your glory will cover the earth like the waters cover the sea! Amen! (Hab. 2:14). I never want to go back to Law- but only by the gospel of Your grace!" (Galatians 3)
(Then it becomes not just my thoughts...)
"Treat Your body as My Temple!
The day you think this isn't a battle, satan already has a foothold. Take up your shield. Always go for the shield!
You will be reproved...but I will gently guide you back to My path. That is true discipline.
My faithfulness, My really, real reality, endures forever- the rest of this is just a smokescreen, a facade...people searching for Me, yet painstakingly satisfying it with other things. Yet they will never be satisfied because it isn't reality. It is falsehood and indulgence and it pacifies the brain but only temporarily. Everyone who's ever existed has been on a quest to find Me and My utopia...but it's not a place...it's a Person and He can only be found when He is sought with all your heart.
Come to Me and rest in My reality, My faithfulness--that is where you will find true peace--not  a false peace of TV, video games, vacations and pleasures. The man of God serving in the bush, passionately seeking Me, though his belly is empty and his clothes are threadbare, he has more peace than the wealthiest man in the world!"

I know this seems to ramble...but that's the way I talk too! It's interesting what He said when I just waited for Him to speak instead of coming to Him with my agenda of concerns to cover. Actually, on that day I think I just summed them all up by saying, 'You know what's on my heart and as they come up throughout the day help me to release them to You. But right now, I just want to hear what You have to say.' I'm glad I listened...He apparently had a lot He wanted to share!

I've Taken a Few Days to Chew on This

...but I think it's time to process some more through writing...my favorite form of processing and analyzing (also spares my husband the verbal processing too!). If you don't mind a bit of a ramble that may follow a few rabbit trails...come along for the ride.

I make it sound so pleasurable and fun, don't I? Problem is, when Holy Spirit began whispering this to me on Sunday, I sort of put it on the back burner because this was a lot to swallow. But God is persistent and I'm so thankful He is. While this isn't a fully formed idea yet...and I don't think I'll ever completely reach the depth of what He's saying...no...what He's asking, this is a lesson I need to grasp and I need to grasp quickly and wholeheartedly.

Just look back over that last paragraph at all of the emphases. I told you this was a ride, didn't I?

Here goes!

Sunday, I finished marking the book of Galatians for the inductive Bible study that I'm doing on my own. In my Previous Post of the same name, I mentioned Paul's theme of works versus grace or Law versus faith in Jesus as the only way by which we are redeemed. If you're new to some of this lingo, the simplest way to think of redemption or to be redeemed is exactly what the dictionary says: "to buy or pay off; clear by payment". The death of Jesus the Messiah paid for me, you and everyone that has ever lived. It was a one-time-for-all purchase.

The word grace is a little trickier. There are a lot of definitions for this one, but the two applicable ones are these: "a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior" and "mercy; clemency; pardon". The reason I say this word is "trickier" is because this is the one word that I have seen trip up grown men and children alike. This is the word that our finite, limited human brains, truly cannot grasp. After all, why would the Creator of the universe, put on a lowly human form, come to Earth, take on all of the sin that ever did and ever will exist and die a criminal's death so that all we have to do is say that  we "believe" (remember, that means to "put our trust with" Him!) and then everything is washed away so now we can go live with Him forever in Heaven? Only He can answer that one. Then again, maybe we are making this message too simple? [Stay with me!]

Here's where I got stuck in Galatians: "Those who desire to make a good showing in the flesh try to compel you to be circumcised simply so that they will not be persecuted for the cross of Christ." (Galatians 6:12)

Now, I know most non-Jewish people in the Western world think of circumcision more as just something you do or have done because your doctor told you so, it's more hygienic or because that's just the accepted practice. So don't get hung up on the word circumcised. Please allow me a little leeway to try to bring this into the context of our churches in the American culture. Here's a few possibilities:
"Those who desire to make a good showing (to their church boards) (general superintendents) (missionary board) (church growth subcommittee) try to compel you to (wear certain clothing) (observe certain rules about appearance) (never drink alcohol) (quit smoking the minute you become a Christian) (badger your non-believing husband into coming to church with you) (knock on doors and pass out tracts with steps for salvation) (serve on 6 committees/boards/special programs) (never miss a day of church) (give "sacrificially" to a new multi-million dollar facility) so they will not be persecuted for the cross of Christ."

Have I stepped on anyone else's toes besides mine yet? If you don't hate me now...keep reading!

I am thankful for an amazing God who doesn't just leave me hanging there!!! As I'm chewing on this for two days, He prompts a friend to return a book to me that I haven't had for awhile. He then prompts me on Monday to pick it up and start re-reading it (I think for about the fifth time now...it's that good!). Tuesday morning, in Radical by David Platt, here's what I read:

"The gospel reveals eternal realities about God that we would sometimes rather not face. We prefer to sit back, enjoy our cliches, and picture God as a Father who might help us, all the while ignoring God as a Judge who might damn us. Maybe this is why we fill our lives with the constant drivel of entertainment in our culture--and in our church. We are afraid that if we stop and really look at God in his Word, we might discover that He evokes greater awe and demands deeper worship than we are ready to give Him."

Yes, I wrote in the margin "Ouch!"

Platt goes on: "But this is just the point. We are not ready to give Him what He asks for because our hearts are set against Him. God's revelation in the gospel not only reveals who He is, but it also reveals who we are."

After I read through the next section entitled "Who We Really Are", I wrote this: "Warning! This is raw stuff". I wish I could reprint it all here...but to do so is most likely illegal and would therefore fly in the face of any credibility I'm attempting to have in regard to this topic. I'll attempt to summarize, but by no means can do justice to this message. There are some hard-hitting, yet Biblical realities that I'm not sure we're all ready to hear. Maybe the more accurate observation is that we can't hear them...because to listen to the true Jesus of the Bible is just as scandalous in our American churches today as it was over 2000 years ago in the Middle East. But these are some of the things Platt writes that had me in tears by the end of the section:

"We are each born with an evil, God-hating heart." (reference Genesis 8:21 and  Luke 11:13)

"Many people say, "Well, I have always loved God," but the reality is, no one has. We may have loved a god that we made up in our minds, but the God of the Bible, we hate."

"Everything in all creation responds in obedience to the Creator...until we get to you and me. We have the audacity to look God in the face and say, 'No.'"

"The gospel confronts us with the hopelessness of our sinful condition. But we don't like what we see of ourselves in the gospel so we shrink back from it. We live in a land of self-improvement. Certainly there are steps we can take to make ourselves better. So we modify what the gospel says about us." (emphasis mine)

"We are not evil, we think, and certainly not spiritually dead. Haven't you heard of the power of positive thinking? I can become a better me and experience my best life now. That's why God is there--to make that happen. My life is not going right, but God loves me and has a plan to fix my life. I simply need to follow certain steps, think certain things, and check off certain boxes, and then I am good."

I have to stop quoting before I get sued! But I desperately want to print more. As "in your face" as this is, this book is flying off of bookshelves, being studied and preached about in hundreds of congregations all over the country...can we assume that people are finally exasperatedly exhausted of our American version of  "do-it-yourself" religion?

Platt continues that our diagnosis and our conclusion to actually "do-it-yourself" fits in very nicely with a culture where self-sufficiency, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-discipline...self, self, self...are highly praised, rewarded and even exalted. Isn't this why the poor are looked down upon? After all, in America...we all have the same opportunities for education, working hard, living right and pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps so anyone can be successful if they just set their mind to it. If you believe that, then you're not going to like me very much when I tell you that's a bunch of hooey! Why?

Platt puts it best: "Meanwhile, the biblical gospel says, "You are an enemy of God, dead in your sin, and in your present state of rebellion, you are not even able to see that you need life, much less to cause yourself to come to life. Therefore, you are radically dependent on God to do something in your life that you could never do." (obviously, emphasis mine!)

Chew on this! Please!

• Do you see that that person who's only ever known abuse and neglect can't possibly get out of that awful relationship because they do not even see that they need life, much less deserve it?
• Do we fully grasp that the drug, alcohol, gossip. slander or sex addict can't possibly stop on their own no matter how many steps they complete without a God who reminds them that they are loved with a boundless love so they are worth giving up that addiction and letting Him satisfy all of the voids they're trying to fill.
• Do we "get" that the chronic welfare recipient doesn't understand that there is another way of life because not only were the educational and financial opportunities unavailable and welfare is all they know...but no one has ever introduced them to the God who says, "You are worth a price more valuable than any government program could ever offer you. You were worth my very life."
• And last, do we trust the Holy Spirit of the God who created everything and everyone to grow them in His time and in His way? Yes, they will stumble...as do we all. Yes, they will return to the comfort of what they know...as do we all. Yes, they may take steps more slowly than our agenda would allow...but growing at God's speed, instead of ours...is the only way they'll even make it to the finish line.

When we begin to grasp this, Platt writes, "Now we are getting to the beauty of the gospel."

I would add...Now we're getting to where there is true freedom in Christ...not some pasted on smile while you're dying inside kind of freedom...but the kind of freedom where you're so downright giddy, people wonder what you've been drinking...the kind of freedom that leaves you breathless when God disciplines (remember, it means simply "to teach") and brings you face-to-face with the ugliness and depravity of your heart and yet, lovingly He says, "C'mon Angela...let Me show you how to change this...you've been trying on your own long enough!"...the kind of freedom that leaves you standing (or sometimes sprawled out on the floor) in awe of a Creator that was nailed to a cross and drank the entire cup of God's wrath so that I can be weightless,  "soar on wings like eagles" and "run and not grow weary" (Isaiah 40:31) Isn't that a gospel that's worth becoming radical about?!

And here's where we come back to what He's asking. You see, if all we have to do is "believe" then is there really any cost? But Jesus said we have to take up our cross and follow Him (Matthew 10:38) so He must have thought it was going to cost us something. That's why I said previously, "maybe we are making the gospel too easy". I guess, the gospel is easy because Jesus does all the work...but it will cost us everything. To teach anything less is not teaching the Truth of who Jesus is and what He demands of us. Now ask yourself, is that the kind of gospel we routinely hear in America today? Something else for you to chew on!

As if Platt's book weren't enough, today in Jesus Calling, I read: "This is the age of self-help. Bookstores abound with books about "taking care of number one,"making oneself the center of all things. The main goal of these methodologies is to become self-sufficient and confident. You, however, have been called to take a "road less traveled": continual dependence on Me. True confidence comes from knowing you are complete in My Presence. Everything you need has its counterpart in Me."

Do you think He's trying to remind me of something? I pray I say this humbly and it is received that way: this time...I don't think I'm the only one He's talking to.

What are you trying to fix yourself? What plans are you trying to make happen? What 5 year goal are you striving for that may never have been God's plan for you to begin with? What joy, love, hope, freedom, sanity and peace have you sacrificed because you've bought into this American lie that YOU are the master of your fate?

Yeah, I've had some people look at me funny when I say I have no "goals" for Boundless Minstries, or that I'm leaving a situation in God's hands so that the Holy Spirit can lead me in His perfect timing to say exactly what needs to be said. But the awareness that "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me," (yet another great Galatians verse, 2:20a) is worth everything to me...no matter how "Radical" I seem!

Amen!

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Galatians

When I recently finished Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself for the second time, I was at a loss as to where to turn next for Bible study. The only women's group I know that meets is already knee-deep in their fall session of another Beth Moore study. I considered going through Believing God (yes, another Beth Moore!) because the first time I went through it, I couldn't listen to her speaking sessions and I just don't think my heart was ready to hear the depth of what that study teaches.

But a brief internet search showed me that I still can't get the audio sessions for Believing God without buying the CDs...not something for which I have the funds right now. While I am daily inspired by Jesus Calling (Sarah Young), I was still longing for something deeper.

I prepared to start Believing God and it just didn't "feel right". So I prayed a quick, "Where do you want me to study, Lord?" and Galatians came to mind. I've done a quick read through of Galatians twice since March because that's where Beth Moore starts out for Living Beyond Yourself, but there's apparently something in this short (compartively speaking!) epistle that Paul wrote to the churches of Galatia that I haven't quite "gotten" yet. So this is where I started.

I've read through the book and following my Inductive Study Bible's suggestion, I've gone back through and marked every reference to the author (in this case Paul) and the recipients of the letter (the churches in Galatia (modern day southwestern Turkey). What I'm struck with initially is that there is absolutely no "shmoozing" with Paul. He quickly and directly gets to the heart of the matter:

"I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you and want to distort the gospel of Christ." (Galatians 1:6-7, NASB)

In chapter 1, Paul goes on to give a brief history of his conversion and receiving of the gospel (good news) directly from Jesus...not another man...so it is not distorted. His history includes some of his travels to other churches and how he was received by the apostles in Jerusalem. But by chapter 2, verse 11, he's relaying the story of his confrontation with Peter over this same "different gospel" that even Peter...the pillar of the church...had succumbed to. What was this "different gospel"? It was a teaching being passed around by some of the Jews that Gentiles (non-Jewish Christians) should become circumcised in order to be part of the faith.

But Paul knew this to stand in direct contradiction to what Jesus taught...that the only thing that saves us from sin is complete faith and belief ("putting your trust with" is the definition of believe) in the saving work of Jesus on the cross. This is called grace. In other words, there is no work...nothing we can do by our own hands that bridges the gap between us standing in our sin and the Almighty, all-holy God. Only Jesus, the Christ (Messiah), does this for us.

But the churches in Galatia were being taught a different gospel. One where you had to be circumcised to be "saved". A gospel of works...not grace alone. And Paul was ready to defend his faith and repudiate this false teaching...even bringing up his previous confrontation on this same matter with Peter.

I'm just getting into this book, but here's what keeps coming to mind over and over again:
This epistle of Paul's to the Galatians is estimated to have been written around 47-48 AD. Now, if you believe the historical dating that modern scholars have done, Jesus would have died circa 30 AD. Do the math...less than 20 years after having lived day in and day out with Jesus...watching His arrest, knowing of His crucifixion and seeing Him, talking to Him and walking with Him, Peter has begun to adhere to a perversion of God's gift of grace through Jesus to us. And Paul's not afraid to call him out on it.

Over 2000 years removed from the incarnation of God on Earth, what have we perverted from this simple gospel of grace? What have we conformed to fit our idea of who God is and who we just want Him to be? How do we remain certain that we are adhering to the true gospel...the one of unmerited favor (grace) with God...the gospel that teaches God Himself came to Earth in human form, walked among us, died, was buried and rose again so that we no longer have to be slaves to sin...this same Jesus that said as great as it was for Him to be here, it was better for Him to leave so that His actual Spirit could live inside us...not walking beside us anymore...but inhabiting the very temple of our bodies?

How do we keep from putting our own "spin" on God's simple gospel? Obviously, we have to remain in His Word...the Bible. We absolutely have to communicate with Him...and not just once a day, once a week or once a month. If His Spirit inhabits our bodies, and we're surrendering to His will daily, shouldn't our every thought be in communion with Him? And if our thoughts stray, remembering He inhabits us is a good "guideline" for getting our thoughts back under His control.

And no...this is not easy. And yes...it takes a lot of time and work. But otherwise, how do you know the gospel you believe is truth or not. Are you just digesting what you hear a preacher saying every week without researching it for yourself and praying for God's Spirit to discern for you if it's truth or not?

I know these are tough questions to ask and possibly could require a whole reworking of your life's schedule to set aside the time to study the Bible and be alone with God. I know we Americans like things fast and easy and very uncomplicated...but I also know that we have strayed...very far from God's original purpose for His church (the people...not a building!). I don't even have to spell out for you just exactly how we've strayed...you know it in your soul, don't you?

Will we, like Paul, be called upon to point out the hypocrisy or works-oriented gospel that we may encounter? Possibly. But I know if we are, the Holy Spirit will give us His words to speak, not ours. Because in eternal things, His words...His good news...His gospel is the only one that matters!

I Have a Confession...

I am a grumbler!

Now, to those of you that know me...this is no great revelation. But I am so thankful and grateful to a God who knows our flaws, reveals them to us and patiently waits for us to be confronted with His awesome Truth so we can get about the business of ridding our lives of these flaws that do not reflect Him.

Such was my morning today. Although I've known for years, if not decades, that this is one of my greatest flaws, I have often felt helpless to change this very deep-rooted issue. I mean it's so deep that it goes back three generations before me that I know of...possibly more. I've always known that being critical is one of my biggest hangups and that it can very easily manifest itself as depression, negativity, pessimism,  dissension, strife, gossip and anger. And while God has patiently and lovingly worked on each of these areas in my life, I became distinctly aware this morning just how pervasive my grumbling is. I even confessed to God that to cut this out of my life will be like losing a close relative. I know warped, right?

I kept thinking all of the nitpicking & fighting that my kids do has got to stop...and it does...but yesterday and today, I came face to face with how I am the root of this whole issue. My grumbling, my ranting, my negativity paints a picture for my family that they mold themselves into. And while I may be completely justified in most of my criticism, it makes everyone else in our family look through lenses of doubt, criticism and negativity...and that is not how God wants us to live.

So this was the revelation for today and why I believe Holy Spirit has brought me to the final crossroads on this issue. From this point forward, I cannot deny the Truth, I cannot pretend I do not know. No...today, I have to choose to walk in the Light of His Truth or stand in direct disobedience to Him (yes, sin!). And as I fervently prayed this morning, "Lord, I want to be a doer of the Word...not just a hearer. Give me a teachable spirit because I don't want to continue living this way."

In Jesus Calling, I read: "You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent. Though you have faltered at times, you have not let go of My hand. I am pleased with your desire to stay close to Me. There is one thing, however, that displeases Me: your tendency to complain. You may talk to Me as much as you like about the difficulty of the path we are following. I understand better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you. You can ventilate safely to Me, because talking with Me tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective.

Complaining to others is another matter altogether. It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage. Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out. As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart." (I've underlined the portions that hit me square between the eyes.)

Yes...I do want to have His thoughts in my mind and His song in my heart! And I want my kids to quit grumbling...so it has to start with me, right? Right!

Just so neither I, nor anyone else can say that the passage above is merely a woman's rambling thoughts, I love that the author puts Scripture references on each page. Today's were exactly the ones with which I needed to be confronted. Jeremiah 31:25 "For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." and Philippians 2:14-15 "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."

In my Bible, the Jeremiah passage has a cross reference to Jeremiah 31:12-14 which says God's bounty will make me radiant, my soul will have abundance and I can be satisfied with God's goodness. So each day, as I'm looking at what we have (or don't have), I need to talk to God about my concerns, frustrations, etc. and He "tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective." (Jesus Calling) From God's perspective, I have enough for today. Amen!

The Philippians passage had a cross reference to 1 Corinthians 10:10 which is referring to the Israelites and how their grumbling caused the destroyer to destroy them. Yikes! There have been days recently when I feel like our family is being destroyed by the grumbling and complaining. And where have they learned it? Who has set the standard? Yep...it's me!

And a direct reference to being a child of God is Ephesians 5:1, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children..." To imitate God and demonstrate myself as His child means to give up the grumbling right? Of course! What is the result? “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; ¹⁵ nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ¹⁶ Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

There it is. I've even experienced recently the pure shock at being confronted with another critical person at my tax prep classes. I came away from that experience realizing just how much God has changed me already. But now it's time to go even deeper...so that the ones who know me best and see me the most recognize the difference of the Holy Spirit in my life...particularly in the area of grumbling and complaining.

Now our church is all about making yourself accountable to someone when there's an area in your life where you want to grow and change. So today, I sat down with the four people who know me best and know my worst. These four have put up with a lot from me over the course of their young lives...and yet, they love me still. So who better to hold me accountable than my kids.

I realize I've set myself up to be corrected by my children...and I've asked them to do it in a kind, loving way...but even if they harshly reprimand me when I grumble, I pray that as I'm humbled by the reminder, I will remain thankful to a God who knows my every flaw and yet doesn't grumble against me. I pray that as Holy Spirit changes me,  my children will sense the change and the prevailing attitude of criticism to each other is healed. But most of all, I just pray that I become such a good imitator of God that no one doubts I am His child.

God's Faithfulness

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23)

I've been learning about God's faithfulness the last few days. His lessons are always timely, but as He has begun to lay lion-sized projects out before me...I'll admit...to be reminded of His faithfulness is very comforting.

The first thing I learned about God's faithfulness is "In a nutshell, faithfulness is believing the reality of a sovereign God." (Beth Moore, Living Beyond Yourself) This is not believing my reality...but God's. It's not projecting myself (wants, desires, good ideas, plans, etc.) on to Him...it's researching His Word, conversing with Him through prayer constantly, allowing Him to open my eyes to His promises, His ways...who He is...and not allowing satan to deceive me into believing God is someone or something that He never said He was or is. This is His reality...not mine!

This isn't easy. From day one, we have expectations, histories, environmental circumstances, cultural ideas and agendas that are thrust upon us not of our own choosing. It can take years or even decades for God to peel back all of this to get to the heart of becoming who He created us to be. One example...did you go to college right out of high school because you absolutely knew that was God's plan for your life? You prayed extensively about it and it completely resonated within you that this was God's absolute best for you when you graduated. Or did you go to college becasue that's what was expected by parents, teachers and friends...or even just because it's what everyone else was doing? Maybe God's reality for me was to serve in the Peace Corps for a year, then get some experience in entry level jobs for a few years to learn my passions and what I'm good at so I could know if and what college education I should receive.

Just a thought!

But the point is when our desire is to live in God's reality...we have to question everything we've ever been taught about societal norms and expectations...yes, question everything!

The second lesson is that Holy Spirit can begin to grow His fruit of faithfulness in me only as I believe in God's. "Faithfulness is resting in His certainty, being persuaded by His honesty, trusting in His reality, being won over by his veracity...being sure that He's sure and believing he's worth believing." (Living Beyond Yourself) Amen! I can be faithful to God's calling in my life because I can trust that He is certain, He is honest, I can trust His reality...His veracity ("habitual observance of truth" yep...I had to look up the definition!)

And then yesterday, I learned the third lesson, which for me was the most profound. Revelation 4:11 "Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.” (emphasis mine) I know I have heard of "God's will for your life" and daily ask Holy Spirit to help me surrender my will to submit to His...but I'm not sure I've ever comprehended exactly what that means. Honestly, I think I've just thought it meant His way. I need to let Him have His way in my life. And while that's not inaccurate...it is a lot more.

"The Greek word translated as will is thelema which is 'not to be conceived as a demand, but as an expression or inclination of pleasure towards that which is liked, that which pleases and creates joy...it signifies His gracious disposition toward something. Used to designate what God Himself does of His own good pleasure.'" (Living Beyond Yourself) So God created all things...including me...as "an expression or inclination of pleasure". This isn't exactly a new thought but another thought did Wow! me.

If I'm created for His pleasure then why would I ever allow worry, doubt, fear, trouble, negativity, criticism, bitterness or stress to consume me? Does it please God when I allow satan to thwart God's reality in me through the use of these tactics? The obvious answer is No! I can't ever imagine a time when it would be in the realm (the reality!) of God's pleasure for me to be burdened down carrying any of these emotions. So how do I not give into them?...check myself back into God's reality...not my own.

My reality might be that the bills are late getting paid...my children are driving me batty with fighting and nastiness...my spouse and I may be at each others' throats...I may feel like a failure...I may have actually even failed through sin. But God's reality is to turn all of this over to Him and let Him figure it all out and show me how He would have me respond to each. Sounds a lot more peaceful doesn't it? And yes, one of the aspects of the Spirit's fruit is peace (see Galatians 5:22-23 above!).

But praise His awesome Name...He went a little further to drive this all into my head and heart a little bit further. He gave me a verse in 2 Corinthians that I can take to the bank. [I've added secondary meanings to words or cross-references from my Bible in brackets and parentheses]

"But as God is faithful (true), our word to you is not yes and no. For...Jesus...was not yes and no, but is yes [Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever"] in Him (God). For as many (numerous) as are the promises of God, in Him (Jesus) they are yes; therefore also through Him (Jesus) is our Amen (so be it) to the glory (true character of God) of God through us. Now He who establishes (confrms) us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit (Holy Spirit) in our hearts as a pledge (down payment)." (2 Corinthians 1:18-22)

What the heck does this mean??? If, like me, you need to read it through a few times...maybe I can save you a little brain power by sharing what Holy Spirit put together in my heart.

#1- God is True!
#2- Because of Jesus, God's yes is yes...never no. He's not wishy-washy in other words.
#3- Because Jesus never changes, if He said it 2000 or even 5000 years ago, it's still true (yes) today!
#4- God's promises are too numerous to count and in Jesus, those promises are always yes (true)!
#5- Because of #1-#4, Jesus is the Amen (the "so be it" because you know it's true) to all of those promises which make the true character (the glory) of God shine out of our lives.
#6- Because God wants us (his followers) to look more like Him (#5), He anoints us (covers and sets us aside) to be confirmed (established) in Jesus.
#7- The seal(distinguishing marker that NO ONE can break open) that is set on us and given to us to remind us of all of this so we never have to doubt God is His Holy Spirit. And He puts right in our hearts so we're never without Him.
#8- This is yet another promise (pledge) of God's and you can put a down payment on it!

Just let this wash over you for a few minutes and ask Him to show you the promises in your life that you can absolutely go to the bank on that He will always say "yes" to. For me, it's His Love, His provision, His discipling (teaching), His mercy, His grace and I'm even learning that He won't lay a desire on my heart and help me stand firm in it unless there's a "yes" to go along with it. That's how I knew (and could go to the spiritual bank on) that He would give us a mini-vacation this summer (see Why Is God so Good to Us?). That's how I know each month even though things are tight, we will have food and clothing (Matthew 6:33). That's why I know His Spirit is always working in the lives of those who love and believe Him (John 3:8). And the biggie for me right now...I know that's why He would not lay upon my heart the plan and passion for the 24-hour Famine (see Event Page and  the Big Announcement) or Boundless Ministries or the events/service opportunites that go along with this minstry to single moms (Events Page) or even the desire to pray more and for the first time in my life passionately intercede for others (see Prayer Requests Page) if He was just going to eventually say "NO!" in the long-run.

Nope! As His desires, His passions, His will, His pleasures become mine, there' a big 'ol "Yes!" coming my way...and I can go to the bank on that!

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Through or From?

I took a one week detour from discussing some of what I've been learning in Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself, because I so very much wanted to write what I was learning about giving as God is applying it to my life. And honestly, Moore's week on the fruit of the Spirit that manifests as kindness and goodness wasn't speaking to me the way the other weeks have. I don't know why, other than I felt compelled to write last week's blogs and may have been a bit distracted. But this week, the Holy Spirit is back in full force teaching me through His Word and the words He gave Beth Moore to share in this study.

This week's topic is Faithfulness. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23) I KNOW God has been faithful to me and to our family...and not just in our present circumstances. For as long as I can think back in our married life, His hand has consistently been apparent even if the results of His leading seemed to take a long time to complete. And He has often been kind enough to prepare our hearts ahead of time when there is "somthing coming", as I like to call it.

But this week as I went through the daily lessons, sometimes feeling led to do 2 or 3 days of lessons each day, I was overcome with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and goodness at the remembrances of an Abba (Daddy) that has been more faithful than I could ever express. And as I'm beginning to believe will be the norm, Holy Spirit's timing about what He's teaching me was perfect! I went to church Sunday morning not knowing the topic of the day and guess what? Now, you KNOW it had to be faithfulness! Isn't He good?!

I appreciate how Moore always starts with the premise that we are NEVER capable of attaining any of the fruit of the Spirit unless God is the One growing it in us. I'm ashamed to say that as a teenager, steeped in a legalistic church environment and not having parents that I could bounce my spiritual questions off of, I posted an index card with these attributes of the Spirit and thought, "Okay, if I just work on love first, get that one under my belt, then I can work on having more joy...once I've got that one down, I'll move on to peace."

You probably know how well that worked...it didn't! Over the years I've been blessed to have Bible teachers, preachers, authors cross paths with me and a faithful Holy Spirit that has awakened me to the fact that I can't possibly "accomplish" putting the fruit into practice. Moore is driving this lesson home every day in this study.

She writes, "we will never believe God until we allow ourselves to discover that He is believable!" And, "the degree of our faithfulness is the direct result of our regard for God's faithfulness." "The faithfulness of God is His believability!" She spends a lot of time in the study having you reexamine HOW God has been faithful in His Word, His prophecies and in our own lives.

And when she asked me to seriously consider if I believe God because of "who He is" or because of "what He does", I had to stop and chew on that for awhile. In a meeting just this Saturday, I said to a group of Christians, 'So what if we fail in the world's eyes...it will still have been for our good and God's glory so we can't fail. We just have to be obedient.' I felt like yesterday Holy Spirit was asking me to examine my heart and see if I truly believe this.

Moore points out that if we have faith based on what God does, we are always going to be subject to life's ups and downs. After all, "the only thing we can count on is change." Right?

But my God is bigger than changing circumstances. Isn't He? And I found great comfort in a prayer she shared that she prays when in a confusing or painful situation. "God, I can't understand why You're doing this. But I know that, unlike me, Your actions cannot be inconsistent with Your heart, and I know Your heart is loving, good, and faithful. Somehow, some way, somewhere all these things are for good. If I could just know You better through this, that is all the good I need."

Yesterday, I was experiencing a lot of doubt about some choices we've made. Yet when we made those choices, we were certain that it was God's will for our family. I found myself aware that it was depressing me...causing fear and I thought Holy Spirit was calling me to reevaluate our situation and that some tough choices might need to be made.

But as I prayed over and over again, "Lord, I will believe You because of who You are, not because of what You do," the Holy Spirit reminded me that He is not the author of fear and doubt. He never uses confusion to speak to us. And as if a lightbulb went off in my head, I was able to say, "This isn't from You. Help me see You." The fear had been almost palpable but in that instant it fell away and the peace that only God can give was restored! Praise His Name!

Then today, I listened to Beth Moore's video session on Faithfulness and I'm not sure I can even express how much it meant to me to relive the faithfulness God has demonstrated in my life. Moore begins with a few scriptures in a portion of Hebrews that is known as the faithful Hall of Fame. The author of Hebrews recounts person after person in the Old Testament that believed God, acted on that faith and through whom God accomplished remarkable, amazing feats. And tucked away in three little verses is the following, "And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. (Hebrews 11:32-34)

Do you see what I emphasized? These men...two cowards, a bragging philanderer that squandored his supernatural strength on a woman, an adulterer and murderer and a prophet whose sons took bribes, perverted justice and didn't follow in their father's footsteps were able 'through faith to subdue kingdoms.' What?

And Moore points to the word through. Why? Because often God chooses to deliver us through our circumstances and not from them. Sure God could carry us over, around or under our current situation. But if He is the Abba that will always work out everything for my good and His glory, then maybe the best way to deliver me is through the crisis, pain, unexpected situation or devastation that has happened.

In Exodus 13:17-18, God knew He had to let the Israelites go around the Philistines because they would give up if they had to battle them. They weren't ready yet. So Moore makes the statement, "A greater call to faith...is a faith that is called to press through. It's going to take a whole lot more faith to go through." And look back at that list of "faithful" men. God obviously wants to use the weak to make them strong. "For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe." (I Corinthians 1:21) It's pretty common for God to use the wrong person, the weak person, the person that has nothing for themselves to "subdue kingdoms". Then, He is the only One to receive the glory...then, He is the only One that could possibly have done the work.

And what kingdoms are slayed? Ephesians 2:2 tells that satan is the ruler of the kingdom of the air and Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

When my world is crashing down around me can I remember that there is a whole "other" part to this struggle? Lord, let me never forget that this is more than just my piddly troubles. There is a big picture and You are in complete control of it. And I once heard that if we can just remember that as Christians, nothing comes to us that hasn't come through God...allowed by Him, then there is freedom in knowing that it is for our good. I am not saying that He tempts us or causes someone to sin against us. We live in a fallen world where sin abounds. But there is no situation that because of His faithfulness to us cannot be used for our good and His glory.

I think that has to become one of my new catch phrases. "For my good and for His glory" needs to be right up there with "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30)

How does God bring me through? How do I open myself up to His work so He can be glorified? It sounds so simple but packs so much in one little word...pray. If you've ever known me, you know I have struggled with prayer. I'm sure this is an entirely different post...but for now I'll summarize by saying that as I have pursued a relationship with my Abba by talking to Him throughout my day, HE brings my thoughts back to Him over and over throughout the day, HE asks me to fast and pray, HE beckons to me when my brain wakes up in the morning and HE initiates the conversation.

And as I listen to Him drawing me near and I respond with an open heart and desire to know Him more, He just keeps pulling me in nearer, closer...seeking Him more. It's cyclical. So if you don't know God in this way...just start talking to Him...nothing formal...just talking. You may feel awkward...you may be in a situation right now where you're even resentful of what He's doing...that's okay, He's a big God, He can take it...tell Him exactly how you feel.

Who knows what He has planned for you? It may even be that "through faith (you)conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies" (Hebrews 11:33-34)

Are there dark kingdoms you'd like to conquer? Do you know someone or a people that needs justice? Are there some lions in your life whose mouths you'd like shut? Any flames you'd like quenched? Then He's ready to turn your weakness into strength and make you powerful in battle.

Pick up your shield...it's called faith! (Ephesians 6:16) And you can absolutely count on Him to be faithful! So far He's batting a 1000 regarding His prophecies in the Bible...I think He can be counted on to have your back!



End Note: I wish I could attach the soundtrack that's been playing through my Ipod Shuffle as I was writing this. Keep in mind, Shuffles play songs in "random" order and about 8 of the last 10 songs have been about God's faithfulness. I think He wants me to count on Him! What do you think?

Impeccable Timing!

We serve a Mighty God, don't we?

He is involved in every detail of our lives...right down to our Internet connection! He cares for us so much that He doesn't want us to say (or blog!) something that will make a liar out of us within the next 15 minutes. Isn't He good to us?!

I'll explain just a little. Actually, it's more like a confession.

I've already posted that I've begun the Beth Moore Study Living Beyond Yourself. As always, Holy Spirit speaks through the words He gave Beth to challenge, convict, encourage, teach and comfort me. This week has been revealing of my heart to say the least.

The whole study is about the Holy Spirit and this week I began learning about the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 tells us what this fruit is and the first is love. So this week I'm learning about love...God's agape love. And Holy Spirit has been teaching me so much, disclosing the secrets, fears and hope of my heart, that I've been full to overflowing. I've been reading to Dale almost daily since Saturday at least a snippet or a whole page of what He's been teaching me. And yet, I can never fully explain how Holy Spirit has put this all together for me to see.

Yesterday, I was ecstatic to get on here and blog about everything I've been learning...just knowing there's someone out there that needs to hear what I wanted to share. And then...

the Internet wouldn't connect. Ugh! I disconnected everything three times, plugged it all back in, checked all the connections, rebooted and did everything I could to get reconnected for about 15 minutes. Then...

I couldn't get logged on to Blogger. "What is going on?" I kept thinking. Not only did I need to share my heart, I was going to post some good recipes on my vegan blog too. I mean, this was important stuff...come on already! But all the while, my Abba was protecting me from making a fool out of myself and keeping me from the hypocrisy of my heart being revealed to the world. Because, you see, I have children...four to be exact...and apparently, Holy Spirit is not teaching them the same lessons about love that He is teaching me!!!

I've blogged before that I love our family Media-Free Mondays. But I've begun to despise Tuesdays...because then the kids feel the need to jockey for position on the computer, Wii, TV, Playstation all while they plug up their ears with those dastardly iPods that allow them to tune me out. Suffice it to say, Tuesdays have become almost the bane of my existence.

Yesterday was no exception! And by about 10 a.m. (early, I know!), I'd gone from riding the clouds to the heights of God's glorious agape love...to plummeting into the depths of losing it mentally, yelling at almost all and even spanking one of my children. "Woe to me, for I am undone! Because I am a (woman) of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of (children) of unclean lips!" (Isaiah 6:5)

Not only did I have to apologize to my kids, talk with them, pray with them and confess my sin to them and to God...I was also very thankful to serve a God that loves me so much He kept my Internet and blog from working!

I do still want to share what He's teaching me about love...just as you read it...if you even choose to after the hypocrisy of my heart I just revealed!...keep in mind that I in no way know what I'm talking about. All I can promise is that I'll be truthful about what He is teaching me and my heart's desire to learn to live it out.

As you can rightly guess...the implementation of these lessons is going to start within my own family. Holy Spirit knows that's the best place for me to start.