What I Have Learned

One of the mosaics from St. Mary's Cathedral
and Basillica, Covington

We've been in our urban home for about three and a half months now. I know I've been strangely silent. I haven't even kept up with my gardening blog like I had hoped.

Yes, I've been busy planting, weeding, harvesting, tilling, mowing, moving, unpacking, preserving, and now back to teaching school at home...but I don't think this is entirely why I've been less verbose.

What I've been learning over the last several weeks, is that some lessons (which are also gifts!) are simply too close to my heart to put words to them. I don't know that I've ever experienced God's Spirit so visibly working in any other season of my life, unless it was in the midst of great tragedy. To have Him obvious and apparent around every bend and bridge of this Journey has left me breathless. 

It's sort of difficult to speak when you're breathless.

But, as He always does in His impeccable timing, He's been placing words on my heart and in my mind, so that I can hopefully encourage someone else who is experiencing His closeness that can be most overwhelming...or to inspire someone who longs expectantly to see His hand and is ready for Him to pull back the curtain to reveal their next move.

This is in list format, because when eloquence fails me, lists help my analytical, logical mind process the fullness of the moment.

The things I've learned since moving into an urban environment:

• I've learned that "urban" places can still have huge trees, quiet streets, beauty and bugs. 
• I've learned that neighors in urban areas may be more willing to smile, wave, say "Hi!"...or tell you their whole life story!
• I've learned that urban neighbors will give your husband roses to bring home for you.
• I've learned that urban neighbors who have lived on the same street for decades may have never met each other.
• I've learned that when you move onto an urban street and are trying to "practice the art of neighboring", you sort of stand out and are even told by one neighbor that you are now the social hub of the street...as she laughs and delights in the fact that you know more of your neighbors than she does.
• I've learned that people who live in the "projects" at the end of your street...and need to walk down your street for access to groceries, etc...will avoid eye contact with the people in these pretty houses, and are caught completely off-guard by this white lady calling out to them to say "Hello!"
• I've learned that these same people will, with time, look for your face as they walk by your house, longing to see someone's smile light up as they pass.
• I've learned that when you pray for the Holy Spirit to interrupt your day for His Kingdom purposes, you better mean that He can interrupt your mowing, so you can take your neighbor that you barely know to get his car that his homeless buddy let run out of gas. And you better be willing to stand by the side of the road while he hot-wires this car...and you pray that any police passing by will believe that it's his car and that you are not in fact an accomplice to grand theft! [This is an hilarious story all by itself!]
• I've learned that when you try to live a more "green" existence and buy a manual mower, you better be prepared to be the entertainment on your street. You should know that every neighbor will have a comment...and you can hear them without a mower running! And the same neighbor you helped get to his car will adamantly insist on mowing your yard for you.
• I've learned that you need to have a plan for when people knock on your door asking for money. If you don't want to just turn them away, you need to keep cash on hand so you can stand at the bus stop with them or give them some work to do so they can feel empowered and not despised. 
• I've learned that God's Spirit can give you a burden to pray for people who are so obviously living outside of His Will for them,  that they can't even pretend to have it all together.
• I've learned that there are snakes in the city too! Ugh!
• I've learned that you better not be offended too easily by language that would make a sailor blush! And that your kids can't be offended by it either!
• I've learned that many people in the city can't hold up the mask of having it all together. They will tell you about their sordid past or present. They will walk stoned down your sidewalks and their dealers (or loansharks or whatever) will shout at them for their money from the front porch of their house.
• I've learned that the city doesn't take as good of care of your neighborhood park if your neighbors don't take care of it either.
• I've learned that the TANK and school buses, when faced with side-swiping a parked car or crossing the line toward an oncoming one (that you are driving), on a very narrow city street, will opt for the the chance of hitting the moving one. Go figure?
• I've learned that when you don't panic at the sound of gunfire...your kids won't either!
• I've learned that when your heart's desire is to find a church that will love and serve the people of your neighborhood...the Holy Spirit plants one...five houses away from your front door!
• I've learned that I can go to church to "serve and not be served"!
• I've learned that when you put free stuff out on your sidewalk for "Free Stuff Fridays", the drug dealer is a little skeptical that you're giving it away and completely caught off guard when you holler out to him to help himself! [I just love Jesus and how He works!]
• I've learned that you can grow food in the city...that your neighbors and those walking by on "Free Stuff Friday" are thrilled to enjoy your harvest. 
• I've learned that people who think your neighborhood is scary, just don't have the eyes to see the beauty that's all around them.
• I've learned that Jesus cares about my kids' hearts too when my lonely 12 year old finds a buddy down the street who has been waiting 10 years for another kid move in.
• I've learned that I can come home after celebrating a child's birthday dinner and find protestors and pray-ers at the end of my street...and be frustrated that I missed it!
• I've learned that Jesus is walking the streets of my neighborhood...and I want to follow Him wherever He goes!

I don't think I can ever adquately describe the overwhelming contentment, joy, love, mystery and adventure that I am experiencing almost daily. This list only scratches the surface of what I know is still to come.

Amen!

The Difference a Year Can Make

About this time last year, our family had been to Florida, enjoyed a cheap but great vacation to the Disney/Orlando area and Abbey and I were knee-deep in Abbey's Vegan Eats, raising support and awareness for her upcoming Mission Year. I don't even know at this point if she'd received her assignment in Houston, Texas. I only knew in a little over a month, our girl was flying out on that big bird, making her way into the wonderful adventure God had for her.

This side of a year's Journey and next Friday, we will welcome home a very different Sojourner of faith. I wish I could convey to you all the blessed ways in which Abbey has changed. 

She has learned compassion and patience by serving children who live in deep poverty in one of Houston's toughest neighborhoods. She's had the joy of becoming family with people she had never even met last July. 

Because of them and the neighbors that have welcomed them into their lives, she's had a taste of authentic, intentional community and she longs for more...more of God showing up and showing off His Kingdom Love in and through the lives of people committed to serving Him.

As evidenced by Abbey's Vegan Eats, food was already her passion...now it is her rallying cry for the injustice of food deserts and limited, unhealthy choices for those already confined by conventional thought, unfair practices and no means to pull themselves up out of the mire of cheap, traditional American convenience food, that is killing them. She longs to teach others how to live fulfilled, healthy lives, caring for the only temple God gave them...their bodies.

She has still found time to embrace the beautiful and to be creative, but her team and City Directors have helped unleash the inner Artist that has struggled to accept her gifts. Creativity through art, musical theatre, baking and more are necessary survival skills now that she has opened up the toolbox of talent that God had already equipped her with.

Who will come off of that big bird we put her on last year? I'm not exactly sure and I don't know precisely where she's headed next...but I am absolutely certain that with the Holy Spirit as her Guide, it will continue to be the adventure of a lifetime.

We love you Abbey and we long to see your face! (I Thess. 2:17)

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If you'd like to see more photos of Abbey's Mission Year experience, follow her on Instagram.

My Injustice

I've started working through Kelly Minter's study, What Love Is: The Letters of 1, 2, 3 John (Living Room) So far, I really like what I'm studying. But today, a commonly quoted verse brought me to tears as the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and opened my Kingdom eyes.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9, NASB)

You don't have to be a Christian very long before you hear this verse. In fact, if you had someone walk you through any step-by-step proselytizing format (like those used by Campus Crusade, Youth For Christ, YWAM, etc.) you probably recognize it as one of the scriptures used to illustrate that in order to receive salvation, one thing you need to do is "confess your sins".

You'll also notice that I put the letters NASB after the reference. That's because I use the New American Standard Bible. If you've known this verse, you probably stumbled over the word "righteous", just like I did. That's because most of us memorized, or have heard quoted a gazillion times, the word "just" there, as used in the NIV (New International Version).

This morning, when I saw the "righteous", but my brain slid in the word "just", something transforming happened for me. Holy Spirit nudged, "Now if just and righteous are interchangeable...do it again." What did He mean? Look at the last word of the verse and this is what I read:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all un-just-ness.

Now...you and I both know that "unjustness" isn't a word...but injustice is.

Injustice.

The kind of thing that keeps people enslaved to give me coffee or sugar.
The kind that allows me to spend $2 for an iced tea when a single mom in Asia only has that amount to feed her five children for an entire day.
The kind of thing that keeps one race feeling "less than" my race.
The kind that turns Christians ugly and mean when other people don't live up to their code of conduct.
The kind of evil that opens up gunfire in a church.
The kind that drives millions from their homes while we look on from afar.
The kind that allows people to live on top of a garbage dump.

I can actually go on. But I won't. You get the point, I hope.

We are surrounded by injustice. And often I am extremely self-righteous about it. [Notice the "self" part of that.]

When I back up in I John 1:9, I'm reminded that only God is righteous. Only God is just.

Ever since I was a small child, I've had this profound sense of "fairness". As a middle child, I have always wanted everything to be fair and equal. It isn't. And when it's not, I get downright angry. But there's one more big word in this verse. It's a word God's Spirit has been growing in me for a few years now. It's a word that I've shared the meaning of with anyone who will listen.

Faithful.

What does faithful mean? This isn't a technical definition, but as I studied this word a few years ago, I became aware that it essentially can be explained as this: God's faithfulness is God's really-real-reality.

You see, it doesn't matter what I say is real. It doesn't matter what our culture, government, family, school, neighbor, boss, friend, co-worker, coach or the rest of the world says is real. Everything goes back to God's reality.

His.

Not mine.

And His really-real-reality is that He is just...He is righteous...and when I admit honestly that every inclination in my heart is evil (Genesis 8:21)...only then can He begin to cleanse me of the injustice that lurks in my heart.

My heart.

No one else's.

I don't confess my sins so that someone else will be cured of their alcoholism, or convicted of their adultery. I don't admit my shortcomings so that the world will sanctify my point of view.

No.

I throw myself on the mercy seat of Jesus' blood, because a just and real God wants to purge me of my injustice. He's ready to cast out my judgmental ways, my critical spirit, my arrogant pride and anything else in this mortal, flawed shell that feels somehow I deserve better treatment than a leper in Calcutta, a slave in Indonesia or a pedophile in Wyoming (yes...I went there. I am no better than even him!)

So, I hope you'll forgive me if I haven't "taken a stand" or "voiced my outrage" or "shared my concern"...I'm too busy pleading with my Maker to clean me up and create in me a pure heart.

Like His.

Is it REALLY this easy?

Up front, I will affirm that there are times when I have longed to hear the Voice of the Holy Spirit and have gone many, many weary days and weeks without hearing Him. Today though, I need to give Him praise for when He speaks...clearly. Sometimes, so clearly that I even think "Is it really this easy?"

This morning has been one of those times.

Don't get me wrong...I have done nothing to deserve this. I haven't been diving into Scripture. I haven't worn callouses on my knees and I don't have any magic formula to offer you. I believe He's always calling (see John 12:32) to each of us. Speaking for myself, I am at times more receptive than others. 

Apparently, first thing this morning...I was listening.

I awoke with thoughts of one of my garden beds. It's up against the house and isn't going to get enough sun for the vegetables I've placed there. I've read about reflective light and even used some on my patio garden last year. While I'm contemplating this, I have a "sense" that I should arise and take a walk. 

I am not the most physically fit person you'll ever meet. But when we moved into a more urban setting, I took a cue from Mission Year's practices to start walking. It's difficult to meet your neighbors from your car. I'm calling my early-morning-intentional-prayer-and-devotional-walk, a "Jesus walk". So the sticky note on the kitchen wall is what I leave for the kids on my way out the door.

Today, I didn't head toward the cemetery (see photos on Instagram) for perspective, instead I felt a "nudge" to go a different direction toward Latonia's downtown. I'm walking along, enjoying the morning, conversing with Jesus, hearing the trash truck in the Monday morning background and I pass this...

or I should say "these"...because there were two of them...laying next to a trash can about 1/3 of a mile from our house.

To be honest, I saw...I looked...and I kept walking for a few paces and had that little brain nudge that I don't know how to explain to someone who hasn't had it. But what I heard myself say was "Is it really that easy?" Admittedly, I walked another block and a half trying to convince myself I actually was experiencing God's provision in this fantastic way!

If I've lost you, then back up to what was on my mind when I awoke this morning...reflective light use for my garden. Holy Spirit's promptings were discreet but apparent since I awoke and there...laying in a trash heap...was the answer.

For this to work though, two more things had to fall into place: I had to walk faster back to the house to beat the trash truck from getting them before I could come back with the van, which my husband couldn't have taken yet to go to work. As evidenced by the photo above, both worked out. Dale left a little later than usual, and I passed the garbage truck on my way back home after picking up the two mirrors!

Explaining to my husband what they're to be used for was entertaining for me and probably confusing for him...he's more of a I-need-to-see-it-to-understand-it kind of guy. All of this to say, I have my Pinterest-type project for the next few days.

As soon as I placed these mirrors on the front porch, I heard my thoughts expressing praise to the One who loves to give good gifts to His children, who longs to have us listen as He tells us ''this is the way, walk in it" (see Isaiah 30:21), and who even cares about the most seemingly insignificant details of our heart's desires that He somehow...unexplainably...puts so many pieces of this Giant-Jigsaw-Puzzle-of-Life together to bring a little reflective Light to our home.

I needed to share this with you this morning because I need to reflect His Light. He needs to shine out of me until the people around me see the glory of His Presence all over the place. The verse I've been trying to memorize each morning is appropriately timed for His teaching today, 

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, 

and the glory of the LORD rises upon you." (Isaiah 60:1)

Thanks for hanging out with me through this entire epistle. You see the last thing I heard as I headed down the stairs to start typing this lengthy tribute to my awesome God was "I have to share this or the rocks are going to cry out...and I don't want any rocks speaking for me!" (see Luke 19:40)

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Words of wisdom I'd love to leave with you on this amazing day, if you'll allow me the privilege of speaking into your life? 

Go.

Do your thing that you are passionate about and feel like you have to do.

Take Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, with you.

Listen.

And follow.

Amen.

More Than You Could Ask or Imagine

Sometimes...words are just so inadequate.

I have struggled to wrap my brain around what God has done in the last two months. I have expressed it to friends, discussed it with family and tried to compile feeble praise to an Abba who loves to give sweet surprises to His children. I have witnessed the exuberance of friends who have been on this Journey with us and delighted as their uncontained excitement for us has spilled over onto the walls and floors of our new home. And yet, words have often failed me.

How do you describe a God who patiently walked me through the steps of what I thought we needed to work toward sustainability (at least  a 1 acre farm) toward the reality of where He wanted us (a 0.1 acre urban farm)?

How do you find words for a God who prompted an annoying homeowner to walk down an alleyway at precisely the right moment we exited viewing his home, which "coincidentally" steered us to the next home that I didn't even think we needed to view (and where we now live)?

How do you honor a God that I know (after meeting them) inspired the previous owners to pray for the exact family to come along that would appreciate the home they had lovingly tended for 35 years?

How do you explain a God who gave you every minute detail in a home that you've ever wanted, but were afraid to believe you could have?

How do you thank a God who knew you needed a lawn mower, yard tools, a trimmer, a new queen-sized bed, a shower curtain, space for indoor hydroponics, even stakes to hold up your tomato plants...and had the previous owners leave it all in excellent, clean condition???

How do you give voice to the amazement of a God who kept whispering, "Don't worry that the size of the yard is too small. You never know what may happen. There may be an abandoned lot or other space free up someday?"...only to discover on Monday that there is a community garden less than 1/2 a block from our home, and by Thursday, find someone working in it, which prompts my sweet friend to laugh and say, "Let's go talk to her", and the woman graciously contacts the person in charge who seriously offers you one to one and a half of the plots, hesitantly asks if you're okay with using only organic gardening practices AND ALMOST APOLOGETICALLY ASKS IF YOU'D BE WILLING TO SET OUT ANY ABUNDANCE FOR THE NEIGHBORS TO TAKE FREELY????????

There is, as yet, one single heart's desire that I have to find unfulfilled! My husband and children are pleased with the location, we are excited to become familiar with the bus system, and there is low-income housing down the street that others may fear, but expectantly calls me to serve and Love in the Name of my precious Savior and Abba.

I have attempted and failed to express to those around me all that has happened these last eight weeks. I have apologized for appearing docile while their excitement cannot be contained. It has truly been more emotion than I can absorb. It almost feels like I'm beginning to simply "take it in stride".

I never want to take for granted the precious care my Father provides, but yesterday as we walked back from the community garden, I think my sweet friend summed it up best, 'How could the One who shaped and molded your small heart in His hands not know exactly what you needed and wanted?' 

I guess it was just a matter of time, refining in us, and prompting beautiful people to give up their well-loved home before it could all be played out to His glory and honor.

God, please create the words in my heart and soul that express my joy and delight in You. And when words are not enough, may my life be a reflection of Your grace, a witness of Your love and a steady stream of mercy flowing out into everyone around me. You. Are. Amazing. I am blessed to be Your's! Amen!

Too Anxious to Stay Inside

What do you do when life is changing soon and the anticipation of it is more than your passionate soul can bear? Do you stay inside and wade through hours of math, algebra and geometry with the kids? Or do you surprise them with a day of "going out", soaking up sun, eating tasty treats and contemplating how different your life will soon be?

The rhythms, the hums, the cadence of life is steady and sweet. The joy, the elation, the significance of what is about to happen is not lost on anyone. Friends and acquaintances almost cannot contain their excitement, so how can I?

God's plans are so much bigger, higher, deeper, wider and all-encompassing than I could ever ask or imagine. Every detail of what we thought we "wanted" and the things we didn't even think were askable are all on the table. Do you have an hour? Soon you can come sit on our front porch and I'll tell you how He did it. 

Come to think of it, an hour may not be long enough.

Sometimes what I thought I "needed" and what He wanted me to surrender to seemed vast, untameable and more complex than this hyper-analytical brain could comprehend. That's why He is God...and I am not. 

Sometimes I dragged my feet and buried my head because it was just all too good for me to take in. If I had just let You be God and gone along for the ride, how much more could I have learned, experienced and absorbed? But my failings, You don't hold against me.

When friends and total strangers tell me they see me "come alive" in the gifts You have given me, I need no more affirmation of what You've been speaking to my heart. I hear Rafiki from the Lion King say, "It is time."

And so it is.

We'll be leaving this home soon. It has been a place of healing, a place of immense growth. It has been a respite from a world that dug its claws into us and threatened to defeat us.

"But our God is greater. Our God is stronger. Our God is higher than any other." We sing those words in R3volution...but I have lived them.

Now, because of His faithfulness, not ours...we begin a new chapter. In this leg of the Journey, we not only continue to grow, but are granted the absolute privilege of pouring our lives out so that others can know that they are loved.

Follow us here. Check out my new gardening blog (coming soon). Come sit on our front porch, sip sweet tea, visit the garden, or stay for a spell and pour out your life too. I can promise you nothing...except the ride of a lifetime!

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Note about these photos:  I love this River...and we're moving nearer to it. We'll be only a 10-15 minute drive from downtown Cincy, or a 25 minute bus ride...which will be our new (highly anticipated!) way of getting there!

Love Them Wherever They Are

There's a lesson I've been learning over the last few years and recently I've had opportunity to share it with others. It's a difficult lesson to absorb in our American culture. It often goes against the very nature of our being. If you're a compassionate, loving helper who just wants to offer the same blessings that have been given to you, this may be a lesson you have to mentally fight against over and over again:

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

I've been in more than one conversation this winter where dreamers ask the obvious question:  What do we do to help the homeless get off the street? I respond audibly or in my mind (if voicing it wasn't appropriately timed) this phrase that is becoming my mantra for service and ministry:

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

As we have served dinner monthly at the Emergency Shelter of Northern Kentucky and in my mind I have begged the questions of my Abba, Where will these grandmothers go for the summer when the shelter is closed? Why is there no place for them? Why do they not have a friend to take them in? He has continued to reply: 

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

When helping out the Chaplain at Turfway Park with a chapel service, dropping off donations of clothing, fruit or just meeting with him to make arrangements for our End of Season Party we held last week, he echoed this same thought about the people who live and work at Turfway. Many of them are simply grateful to have a roof over their head, food to eat, and a job that pays enough for them to send some money back home to their families who are dependent upon them for provision.

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

We had a huge outpouring of help from the women in our Bible studies, but when I take my eyes off of what Jesus has called me to do, I can easily become discouraged by the ones who express no interest, who don't want more information about how to help or asked to be removed from the email list once we started asking for volunteers. I was once again reminded...

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

As the End of Season Party effortlessly unfolded, as the donations came pouring in, as women who signed up to arrive at 11:30 a.m. were so excited that they asked if they could come early and set up, I saw grace, acceptance, compassion, mercy, understanding, new awareness of our fellow man and Love on display. The Holy Spirit affirmed in me, this it what happens when you...

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

Jesus never said, Go into all the world and give everyone a three bedroom, two bath home, indoor plumbing and a down comforter to sleep under. But He did say that whatever we do to the "least of these", we do to Him. (see Matthew 25:31-46) I think there is a miraculous, divine transference of grace when we serve and love others that are marginalized in our world. I almost think that's what Jesus was talking about. I believe that's why I heard women promising to help next year at Turfway, why I saw smile after smile on the served and serving alike, why I walked away thinking about those who missed out on this blessing, that I will emphatically call out to so they won't miss it again, and why I feel compelled to cry out to the comfy American church that if they are not actively engaged in serving "the least of these", they are not fulfilling their God-given destiny.

But mostly, I want to serve and Love on anyone who will allow me to because God...

Loved Angela right where she was...not where He wanted her to be.

Amen!

Why Serving In Our Cities Matters

Houston, Texas, February 2015

I've reached a place in my devotional reading of The Joy of the Gospel by Pope Francis, where he writes about why reaching our cities for Jesus should be a priority. I love how he expresses this and thought you would like to hear it too

"In cities, as opposed to the countryside, the religious dimension of life is expressed by different lifestyles, daily rhythms linked to places and people. In their daily lives people must often struggle for survival and this struggle contains within it a profound understanding of life which often includes a deep religious sense. We must examine this more closely in order to enter into a dialogue like that of our Lord and the Samaritan woman at the well where she sought to quench her thirst." 

Cities are not a "lost cause" or worthy of our fear or disdain. Cities are places the people of God should flock to in order to learn a "profound understanding of life which often includes a deep religious sense."

If the people of God will not go, someone or something else will fill the void. Do we then have the right to judge or complain about the end result?

"Love God. Love ___________ (insert your city name)." This is what the folks of Mission Year do everyday. The beautiful part is, we can too.

Love God. Love Cincinnati.

We Live In the Saturdays

Yesterday for Good Friday, I saw a lot of Facebook friends posting a very famous quote from an equally famous sermon that Tony Campolo shared many years ago:  "It's Friday, but Sunday's comin'!"

While Campolo is one of my favorite people, this morning something new was impressed upon me that maybe you've already realized, but was profound for me.

We live in the Saturdays.

On Friday, He left. 

On Sunday, He returned.

What did His followers do on Saturday? We aren't told.

I guess we have some advantages over the early disciples. 

• He left, but by the power of the Holy Spirit, we're not alone.
• We know He's coming back. Jesus told them, but it seems they either didn't listen, didn't understand or didn't believe.

So what did they do with their Saturday?

And what will we do with ours?

He's Just TOO Good!

Wow! I don't even know where to begin. 

I do know I have been strangely silent. Houston sort of did me in. 

In a good way.

Then, as we knew the date was drawing near that we could start looking for a house, all sorts of crazy things started happening. 

Number 1, all of these fears that I didn't remember that I had started bubbling up to the surface. Failure, how others see me, people who have treated me as "less than" in my past, uncomfortable conversations with those close to me and stress...lots of stress...all consumed me until I realized I was keeping God at arms length. I was involved as a leader in our study of Jonah at church, but I would wait until the last possible moment to complete the homework in an attempt to fly through it and not absorb much.

But God is faithful.

Almost every page had some word, scripture or author note that would grab me and not let go until I wrestled through it with my Abba. 

While all of this internal stuff was taking place, I experienced what Jonah study author, Priscilla Shirer, calls a "divine intervention". Through two conversations that took place with friends who both have a servant's heart, I learned that the racetrack in our county has 100-150 people that live in 6x6 foot or 12x12 foot concrete block rooms. They live near and work with the horses every day from mid-November to mid-April and then move on to another area track for the summer.

I was undone.

I didn't even have the details yet and I found myself broken and grieving that a place I drive by multiple times a week houses people in conditions that are reminiscent of a Third World country. When I met with the chaplain for the "backsiders", I was blessed to see where God is already working. The day I met Doug I told him that I would definitely attempt to gather a group of people to help at one of his chapel services (which we did in early February), but my "dream" was to throw an "End of Season" party for these people who work insanely difficult jobs in conditions most Americans don't want to acknowledge exists.

That party will take place next Saturday, the 11th!

God is faithful.

Over 120 ladies in our Women's Bible studies are participating in some way. The "coincidences" of how all of this played out have overwhelmed me to the point that I again found myself keeping God at arms length. I told Him...straight up...that I could not do this, but I knew He could. And how He has, was simply more than my heart and mind...even my soul...could take in.

The mornings when I woke up to see 6+ inches of snow on the ground or the wind chill was -20 degrees, all I could think about were this precious people who had been out since 5:30 a.m. grooming, exercising and feeding horses, or mucking out the stables...thrilled to have work and send home a majority of their meager pay to relatives each week. 

How could I even begin to draw up a list of demands for God to meet regarding a home and my timetable for having it? But I did.

And as I jumped through all of these "hoops" and allowed Him to refine and muck out my own life, while attempting to obey His call, I didn't realize that I was writing a contract of sorts with Him. You see, I thought if I let Him do all of His work, and I obediently followed His lead, He would give me my heart's desire.

But God is faithful.

One week, as I wallowed in my lack of understanding and my disappointment that God was not living up to His end of my bargain, I said to a friend, "You might as well grow a plant over me and call me Jonah!" Yes...I was mad. 

Appropriately so, our study that week included Jonah's anger at God and God's question to Jonah pierced Jonah's fury so fully, that the same question smacked me upside the head several thousand years later: "What do you have to be angry about?"

I had some deep soul-searching and surrendering to do.

And God is faithful.

When we finally began looking at houses, I knew our options were limited and having let go of my expectations of God and finally put Him first in the process...He led us to a place that is beyond perfection. It's so perfect for all of us, that I couldn't even have dreamed it up.

That verse...that one that we say all the time, but I'm not sure that we ever really believe...that one that talks about God doing "immeasurably more than all that we can ask or imagine"...I am here to tell you that one is true. It would take two more blog posts of this length, or more, to tell you all of the surprises, graces and struggles that have taken place since the dawn awakened on 2015. Am I surprised that His Spirit prodded me to ask to see His Kingdom this year? I know this is long, but if you want to hear the full story, come visit me on the front porch of our home in a few weeks and we'll have some coffee. Or better yet, join me in my garden. I'm not sure you'll believe me, but the only way I know to sum it up here is...

my God is faithful!

**********************************

And just one more thing...I think He wanted to throw the proverbial "cherry on top" last week. When I finished my latest review and looked through the options for my next book, guess what was available and begging for my attention? Yep...a how-to guide for small space gardening. How's that for amazing?

Kingdom Dining

One of Abbey's photos from our community dinner

I had originally title this post "Dinner With Friends" and intended to share it several days ago, but as He sometimes does, the Holy Spirit prompted me to delay so He could solidity the lesson even more.

As I've previously mentioned, every Saturday in a Mission Year, the team hangs out in their neighborhood and builds community with their neighbors. They also invite their neighbors and friends to have dinner with them. The menu during my visit was Lindi's delicious Tomato Basil Soup and Brent made some tasty oven-grilled cheese sandwiches. I pitched in a big salad purchased at the local NuWaters Co-op which is making healthy, local grown options available in a neighborhood where fresh produce is hard to come by.

Seated around the table were 15 people, most of whom only met within the previous day or two and even the Eight at the core of the group have only been together since early September...but it felt like home.

There were soon-to-be college kids, mastered-degreed young adults, empty-nester moms, friends from former church connections, a neighbor and me. Some are married, some divorced, and some remarried or single. We're not only all from different backgrounds and have varying skin tones, but the geographical backdrops didn't go unnoticed by me. Upstate New York, Kansas, Indiana, Iowa, Oklahoma, Texas and my own Kentucky home were all represented around the three tables squished together to seat all 15 of us.

And as I tried to remember to see through Kingdom eyes, I heard that Whisper say, "I'm giving you just a glimpse of the Banquet I'm preparing for all of you." I don't know if I've ever experienced the Lord's Table before that night, and I did fleetingly think of asking them if we could have communion together. I wish I'd spoken up, because I know I felt the perfection of the moment when Jesus Himself was sitting there with us.

What was the reason for delaying this post? Well, apparently the Holy Spirit prompted the same observation in my daughter. She wrote about it in her February newsletter. 

Oh...but God is so good that He gave me even one more example.

Serving dinner at ESNKY in January

Our church partners with Emergency Shelter of Northern Kentucky to provide life-saving overnight housing for 12 men when temperatures drop below 15 degrees and their shelter is overflowing with people seeking aid. They are supposed to house 40, but Monday night when temperatures were below zero, we housed 12, Mother of God church (also a temporary overflow site) had 12 and ESNKY housed 90 souls. [We fed the 12 men at our place and about 70 at ESNKY.] One of our volunteers stepped on a man's hand trying to walk through the hallway because bodies lined both sides of the already narrow space. Whoever says, "I don't see the homeless, so the problem must not be that bad," needs to take a trip down to Scott Street on a single-digit night and observe the line down the block, just to get in the door.

Part of our Homeless Hosting set-up in January

My friend heads up our church's team of over 100 volunteers that share responsibility for hosting, feeding, driving and providing hospitality to these 12 men. So far this winter, we've done this five different weeks for either three or four nights each session. I love being part of the Church that truly is serving "the least of these" and who honestly believes we are called to "be the hands and feet of Jesus". Since this morning may be the last opportunity we have to love on our new friends at our place, my friend Kari sent out some final observations Holy Spirit has been laying on her heart. One that struck a chord with me is that she felt dining with our homeless friends gave her "a glimpse into what fellowship around God's table will be like in heaven someday."

Many races, varying socio-economic statuses, many different backgrounds, many different life choices...but all brought together by the bond of Christ's Love and an abundant feast He sets before us. That is a meal worthy of our attention.

All of this has made me crave more opportunities for Kingdom dining. The invitation is always there...but will we accept our seat He's reserved just for us?

Amen!

I Am a Prodigal

When I was in Houston two weeks ago, I had a wonderful opportunity to attend church at St. John's Downtown. Pastor Steven taught from Luke 15:11-32. Most Christians know this as the story Jesus told (aka parable) called The Prodigal Son.

"I am the Prodigal Son every time I look for unconditional love where it cannot be found." That quote from Pastor Steven is something I have repeatedly returned to since I wrote it down. He asked the congregation if as sons and daughters of the King, we ever "cash in" our royalty for debauchery.

Good thoughts to ponder.

I liked what I saw and heard at St. John's. Their emphasis on loving people where they are has led them into extensive homeless ministry, AIDS activism, baptismal commitments where vows to fight injustice in ourselves and others are expected and depression/bi-polar support groups that would be taboo in some churches are promoted from the pulpit. All of this while encouraging youth to pursue academics, not athletics, as the way to escape from poverty, by providing college campus tours throughout the South.

But as I have contemplated Pastor Steven's words, perfectly timed today I read in The Joy of the Gospel, "At times we (the Church) have to be like the father of the prodigal son, who always keeps his door open so that when the son returns, he can readily pass through it...Frequently, we act as arbiters of grace rather than its facilitators. But the Church is not a tollhouse, it is the house of the Father, where there is a place for everyone, with all their problems."

As I struggled last Sunday with being judgmental and critical of many incongruities that I see in American Christians, I was ever so grateful that my Father was waiting with the door wide open. Why would I as His Prodigal Child ever close it for anyone else?

My Co-worker

As I've been making my way through 1 Thessalonians I kept coming across some wording that struck me as odd, yet I'm certain it's intentional in the way that Paul, Silas and Timothy chose to write it.

"and we sent Timothy, our brother and God's fellow worker in the gospel of Christ; to strengthen and encourage you as to your faith." (1 Thessalonians 3:2)

Note what it does and does not say: Timothy is their brother and God's fellow worker. Other versions use "fellowlabourer" (KJV) and "God's man for spreading the Message" (The Message). 

I confess, I don't often think of myself as God's co-worker. I think of other Christians as my fellow labourers. But what if I saw them all as my brothers and sisters only? 

I would probably be more gracious, forgiving and tolerant of the little things that being human crop up and annoy or frustrate us. We're all much more forgiving with family. Usually.

And instead of thinking of trudging along with other flawed humans as my partners...what if I actually believed that God's plans hinged on me showing up for work?

Aside from the obvious problem of getting fired (because God would never fire us), there are people depending on you for your "goods and services". If no one showed up at the local Amazon warehouse, we'd all be doing without a whole lot of stuff.

And what happens when one (or a handful) of people are left to do all of the work while everyone else huddles around the water cooler or breakroom just wasting away the day? In the real world, the "few" would probably be resentful, angry and ready to quit. But just for the sake of argument, let's say they are gracious, absolutely love what they are doing, wouldn't trade their job for the world, and find great personal meaning and fulfillment in what they believe is their calling? 

To be honest, the loyal, hardworking labourer can only carry the dead weight for so long. If we're talking about a multi-billion dollar company that spans every corner of the globe, has about 2 billion employees and only about 2 million of them or less are actually doing any work, that means .1% (0.001 or one-thousandth) of the employees are actively engaged in the job to be done. And since there's the global-potential to reach 7 billion "customers", that is 1 co-worker for every 3500 potential clients. If we were Hunger Games people we would say "the odds are definitely not in your favor." 

Anyone out there with a client-base of 3500 people that they need to introduce to the product, peak their interest, sell them the goods, and then provide life-long customer service if need be? Yet, this is exactly the burden we place upon those who are working in the Kingdom if we even have 2 million workers in the fields. Jesus told us two thousand years ago that "the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few." (see Matthew 9:37, NASB) It seems not much has changed in those two thousand years.

Now, while I've crassly placed salvation and God's plan for all of mankind in the context of business, goods, sales and everyday life, I do so for what I hope has become an extremely obvious point:  We take God's grace and Love for granted.

What employer would allow 90% or more of His workers to fill pews, wax philosophical and armchair-coach-away the problems of the world and how they would solve them "if they only had a chance"? That would be the most gracious, loving, kind and longsuffering employer you would ever have.

But here's the beautiful part: He doesn't consider Himself your employer, He is your fellowlabourer.

He's right there in the trenches with you, cheering you on, delighting in your successes and commiserating in your trials and pain. He meets you around the water cooler when you need to debrief and He discusses the next step and the vision in the "business" plan when He's groomed you and you're ready for the next adventure in your career. And no one could be any prouder when you reach "retirement" and hang up your briefcase. Nothing's changed in the company manual in over 5000 years and it will remain the same long after you've reached your Reward.

So here's the question that is begging to be asked:  When your loved ones gather around for the "retirement roast", what will they say of you? Will they mention your financial portfolio? Will they reminisce about your good intentions and ideas? Will they put a gold-plate on the pew that you warmed? Or will your children "rise up and call you blessed" (see Proverbs 31:28, NASB)? Will there be anyone to shake your hand in the Promised Land and say, 'if it weren't for your work, your labor of love (see 1 Thessalonians 1:3), I would not be here?'

It's time to work. No matter what you think the sacrifice may involve, it pales in comparison to the joy and blessings that will be received. Paul went so far as to say, "for now we really live, if you stand firm in the Lord." (1 Thessalonians 3:8) 

I'm ready to "really live"...aren't you? So let's go back to the Manual and ask our Co-worker to show us the next phase of His personal Vision for us and as Nike reminds us "Just Do It"!

You Never Know What a Little LOVE Will Do

My friend, Jennifer, recently wrote a blog post about how impacting three little words were in her life. I never dreamed how meaningful this would be to Jennifer when I began signing my emails to her this way, I only knew how deeply I had felt them a handful of years earlier.

You see, I had a wonderful Pastor during a deeply dark time in my life that signed his emails this way: You are loved. I admit now that it was a jolt to my disappointed and non-trusting heart. I mean, what man signs his emails to female congregants this way?

A man who every week during his sermons told hundreds of people that they will always be Loved, Accepted, and Forgiven...that's who?

I sat on those three words in the years to come, longing to share them with someone who deeply needed them as much as I had. Jennifer was the first, and then the Holy Spirit reminded me that everyone should know that You are loved.

Letters of "business" or formal information don't receive this sign off from me, but when I feel I know you well enough to receive it with the Spirit in which it is given, I say "good bye" with the precious reminder that was given to me all those years ago.

I'd love to be inside someone's head the first time they see these three words from me. It's interesting to see friends reply with what I am sure are honest and heartfelt phrases like "Love you lots," "Love you too," or just "Love, (insert name here). Sometimes I want to poke my head through the screen and say, "No! It's not I who loves you...well, I do, but that's beside the point...no...You are loved. Because you are loved by the Creator of the Universe and His Son who died for you and His Spirit that resides in you...You are loved."

Do we get this?? I mean really get it?

I pray we do, and Pope Francis reminded me why this morning:  "For if we have received the love which restores meaning to our lives, how can we fail to share it with others?"-- The Joy of the Gospel

There is a "Love Trail" so to speak. There are a lot of tributaries that have flown into my path along the way, helping to fill me up with God's gracious Love until it overflows. But on this little stream, I was blessed to pour life-pumping Love into Jennifer because my Pastor had poured it into me, and someday I hope to meet and thank the ones who poured Love into him.

But ultimately, I know where the Love Trail leads...all the way back to a cross that should have been mine. The steaming blood that cascaded down the splinter-ridden beams has never stopped flowing. Don't be the dam that holds back the reservoir. It was never intended to be contained or controlled. Let the Love overwhelm you and overflow out of you. You just never know what a difference three little words can make.

And by the way...

You are loved.

Angela

You CAN Go Home Again...

but you'll be changed.

*******************

I anticipated this. I knew it may happen. It does not make me sad. It makes life real.

I joyfully picked up our oldest Friday afternoon from Indianapolis International Airport, hugged and kissed her sweet little ginger head, had lunch with my parents, sister-in-law and niece and nephews, and started the long drive home.

It's not lengthy...but it was quiet.

My introvert who has had her comfortable, suburban world jolted by the reality of a broken and often hopeless one, needed time to decompress. My usual tactic of pummelling my children with questions until they open up was not appropriate, I had perceived as much.

At some point in the journey I must have asked the right question and the conversation flowed more easily. It has increasingly done so over the last two days...yet, there's one significant change that I have noticed: 

She's no longer set off by the small things that used to light her fuse.

*****************

While I knew maturity would arrive swiftly for an 18 year old (now 19 year old) who's sacrificing comfort and the "norm" for a woman of her tender age, I wasn't prepared for the "untroubledness" of her maturity.

I was fully prepared to avoid her triggers. We all have them. In families we learn to step around them to keep the peace. When I've asked about laundry, food choices, and plans for each day, I think I'm no longer perceived as a nag...but she understands that my genuine concern for her is manifested in the little things.

What I've been asking myself for the last 48+ hours though are questions of myself that I think each Christian should delve into and accompanied by the Holy Spirit, grapple with and mold into our being and modus operandi for daily life:

What can cause us to abandon our priorities?

What can help us not to sweat the "small stuff"?

What must happen for me to put into perspective the minutiae of life?

What changes inside a perfectionist to bring them more calm, peace and joy?

The answer is simple...yet profound...

Love!

It may have been long-distance, but I have seen this beauty fall in love with a city, a neighborhood, a school and the children inside of it. She has talked with prostitutes, shared meals with feeble grandmothers in her new home, made pies and candy for her neighbors, taught children to sing and draw and enjoyed a birthday "cake" made from playground mulch accompanied by a preschool-pitched chorus of "Happy Birthday Miss Abbey".

She has also learned the humility of poverty and dependence upon others. She has found pleasure in the simple things like a free, reconditioned bike, local taco stands and new friends that quickly become family.

She has found new outrage inside of herself. While others her age are frustrated with the latest iPhone update or that their favorite cafe' no longer carries their preferred mocha, she has discovered fury over racism, injustice, deep poverty, and the desperation that drives people to merely survive instead of thrive.

She has found her Voice...and it is a melody of grace.

He'll Wreck Your Life!

I'm beginning to think that every potential Christian should receive this word of caution: Watch Out! He'll wreck your life!

I have been deeply reminded of this in the last few days. This morning the Holy Spirit drove it home with a line from a book I began reading, Kisses From Katie. In the introduction she writes these few small words that are jam-packed with a lifetime of adventure: "You see, Jesus wrecked my life."

Not 20 minutes later I stood in my kitchen preparing my morning juice and the quiet in our place was too much for the spinning wheels of my mind. I turned on a Christmas CD from a group that my now-grown Abbey listened to in her pre-adolescent years...Jump 5. Their rendition of "Joy to the World" has always hit me in the right place, but today...it flat-out made me cry.

Why?

Because Jesus doesn't just want to "wreck your life"...He came, lived and died so that He could wreck the whole world!

He brought His Kingdom come on "Earth and it is in Heaven." And He has never looked back. 

He wrecked the places where we find our security. He wrecked the notion of who is strong and who is weak. He wrecked the attitudes toward "the least of these". He wrecked deeply-ingrained notions of gender importance. He wrecked who is embraced by the King. He wrecked our hope in the world systems that keep us enslaved. He wrecked the perceptions of why people are poor and just exactly who is poor. And He called His followers to voluntarily let Him wreck their lives...sometimes to the point of death.

So this year, amidst the gifts, the lights, the music, the laughter, the contentment of having our oldest home, and the beauty of a world that at least seems peaceful for a brief season, I will be looking for the Savior that came to wreck my world...my life...what I actually find contentment in...and in where I place my hope.

My Christmas prayer for you is that His Presence, His Emmanuel (God with us!) will wreck your world too!

Parental Guidance Suggested

I am finally falling in love with I Thessalonians! I have even found the verses that best describe how I approach life, love and ministry. And when I fail to live up to the standard put forth by Paul, Silas and Timothy, they are the guiding beacon by which I can align my heart and passion for serving and living out this Journey upon which my feet have embarked.

"For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit; but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts. For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed-- God is witness-- nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority. But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us...You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory." (I Thessalonians 2:3-8, 10-12, NASB)

It's a long passage, I know. I won't belabor the points I have previously made. (see Entrusted and Smelling Like Sheep) But I had to delve into this a little further with you, because this is my heart...right there on the page. 

I am not a tender mother. My children can attest to this. But I remember the tenderness and joy of nursing my infant children. 

God help me to never run rough-shod over any believer that is new to the faith. I fed my babies on demand, and as your newborns need fed in the timing that You create for their hunger, may I help feed them with the nourishment that You have already provided. May I never demand anything more from them than You are ready to give them. I trust that they will grow in Your timing...not mine.

And yet, at the same time, may I never stop 'exhorting, encouraging, and imploring' each Jesus-follower that You place in my path that they absolutely can "walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls" us.

For Abba, Your grace is beyond measure. Why? Because You never conscript us into service. You never require that we give away all that you have blessed us with...no...but freely I surrender my time...my gifts...and my stuff...because of where you do call me: Your own Kingdom and glory.

These are gifts I cannot repay. My life remains as the only offering that I can lay on the altar of sacrifice. If by my life or my death I can help someone catch just a whisper of the precious Kingdom and glory to which you call each of us...then may it be so.

The family of God.

I remember singing about it as a child. And this week, You've begun prying open my heart to understand. As others have for me, may I nurture and feed as a mother would her own...and like a father, may I radically inspire and call out in others the beauty and grace of the Light in which You want us to sojourn together.

Amen.