This Internal Stuff is Tough!

And I am not exaggerating!

Last Thursday, it was my turn to lead our small group in discussion at the Believing God Bible study. Lo and behold, the topic for the week was the tongue. Ugh! We meet on Thursday mornings and by Tuesday afternoon, I only had one day of the homework completed. This is not like me. Normally, I try to stay on top of it all so I can get the full benefit without hurrying through it all. But going over day one of the workbook...where the topic was James 3 and taming the tongue...I had to process for a few days and try to come to grips with living this thing out before I stood up in front of 20 women and told them they needed to do the same.

The tongue "is a restless evil and full of deadly poison." (James 3:8) Not exactly tea-party conversation here. I completed the homework...sorted through a lot of yuck I needed to give God...and when Thursday morning rolled around...still felt completely inadequate to stand up and facilitate a conversation about how the tongue "is set among the members as that which defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of someone's life and is set on fire by hell." (James 3:6)

Yikes!

Thursday as I was getting dressed and ready in my bathroom, I was literally doubled over with my hands on my knees, moaning and asking God "Why?" Why did it have to be me? The one that struggles with her tongue more than anyone I know. The one who unfortunately has all too often with my tongue "blessed our Lord and Father and with it cursed men who have been made in the likeness of God." (James 3:9) You'll find it as no surprise that when I memorized James at this same time last year, this is the passage that was most difficult to learn. I am a woman "of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips" (Isaiah 6:5).

As I was praying and processing and meditating on His Word, it wasn't that I had any divine epiphanies. There was nothing new for me to learn on this subject...but bless His magnificent Name...He kept graciously reminding me of a few things over and over again.

• I need to be impeccably above the standards of this age...not only in my spoken word...but in my written word as well. Facebook should not be a platform to air my grievances...whether they are personal or against an entire people group. Neither will I condescend to fight through texting, messaging or wall posts. And this blog should always be used as a tool to bless (aka. speak well of) instead of curse (doom) my fellow man whether I can yet call them brother or sister in Christ or not.
• The post I wrote a year ago about Jeremiah 31:3 "The LORD appeared to him from afar, saying "I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness." is just as true today as it was last October. In the way that a salve or poultice will "draw out" the yuck in a wound so that true healing can begin...God himself slathers His lovingkindness all over our "yuck"...drawing it out so that true healing and growth can begin.

And here's something of a new thing I did learn during the tortuous week of self-examination: The drawing never ends! In God's perfect timing and mercy, He begins drawing out from the surface and slowly, yet assuredly, He takes away layer and layer of "yuck" so that as the internal is purged and refined, the external radiates His gorgeous Light more clearly.

So when you come across that time in your life when you feel like you're struggling in an area that you've worked on before, maybe He's just "drawing" out at a deeper level, calling you to a deeper walk, so the Light of His Love will shine forth more brilliantly, piercing the deeper darkness in a way we never could have imagined.

Swan Lake, Cincinnati Ballet

It is, sadly, too late for you to see this production, but if Swan Lake is any indication, the Cincinnati Ballet's 50th Season will be worth your time and dollars to see. With all new sets, costumes and choreography, Swan Lake was a coordinated effort with BalletMet of Columbus.

It was beautiful, well performed and attended. This classic was highly anticipated and it did not disappoint. Abbey and I are looking forward to Nutcracker and Camelot later this season as well. Although, ballet may not be high on most Queen City residents' bucket list, with talent such as this right at your back door, it would be a shame not to attend at least one performance this season.

An added bonus this year that I hope we get a chance to see...

Yes, Over the Rhine in a live performance with Cincinnati Ballet. This is one my husband would probably attend with me.

It's Only Fair- Newport, Kentucky

As part of Friday's Fair Trade Field Trip, after warming up at Carabello Coffee, we first stopped by the local St. Vincent de Paul store at 906 Monmouth Street

and I found some really cute, small plates for $0.50 each. They're made by Gibson and I think they match my mother-in-law's set. She does have good taste. The store may not be "Fair Trade", but any chance to upcycle, recycle, or repurpose is pretty great too.

Just down the block lay our intended target, "It's Only Fair" (911 Monmouth Street, Newport). We met the owner (has that ever happened at Wal-Mart?) She asked how we heard about the store, and what ensued was a pleasant, albeit brief, conversation about some of the items, where they are from and her travels to see first-hand the ministries and organizations that are making a difference in the lives of orphans, trafficked women and children and people who are at risk for exploitation.

It's a small store, filled with hundreds of beautiful items. There is clothing, beautiful scarves, jewelry, handbags, wallets and more. My younger girls each had a little allowance money they wanted to spend and they felt really good supporting children in Nicaragua and a non-profit from Thailand. I found some yummy Fair Trade chocolate and Fair Trade chai tea. Even her shopping bags are made from recycled newspaper and made by at-risk children in India.

If you're interested in visiting It's Only Fair (which I highly urge you to do!), I make the following two suggestions: 

• Like her Facebook Page because the hours are different for each day, and
• leave small children at home. There is not a lot of room for strollers and chasing little ones amongst all of the items, might be a challenge. Use your own judgment though.

As an added head's up, be aware that some street parking in this area is limited to 15 minutes. Free street parking can be found though and was widely available during our noontime adventure. All of us women left with the anticipation of returning again soon. The young man...well, maybe some day.

Carabello Coffee, Newport, Kentucky

This was my caramel latte'. Almost too pretty to drink! Almost.

Our first stop on our Fair Trade Field Trip today was Carabello Coffee in Newport. Carabello is the same company that supplies Velocity Bike and Bean in Florence. They've now opened their own shop.

I had a caramel latte', Noah and Rebekah both had hot chocolate and Leah had a gourmet apple cider popsicle. Everything was delicious, including the homemade salted caramel placed next to my latte'. Carabello has a great story about starting with a commitment to purchase directly from the farmers that grow the coffee.

To quote their Facebook page, they are a "philanthropic artisan coffee roasting company serving Greater Cincinnati. Our mission is to equitably source exceptional coffees, roast them to perfection and then use the profits as a way to fund works of compassion in Third World coffee producing nations like Nicaragua and Kenya. We give Cincinnati coffee lovers who want to shop their conscience a reason to celebrate."

Located at 107 East 9th Street, we discovered that they sit in the heart of a great "mom and pop" business district on Monmouth that we will explore further in the near future. Honestly, this is worth your trip down to Newport whether you're heading to the Levy or not. Stop in, by some coffee, sit and chat with your chums and know that your purchase is making a difference.

Fair Trade Field Trip Day

Because we have no home school co-op today and since October is Fair Trade Month, I'm taking my kids on a shopping field trip to a few places that sell Fair Trade items. As you may guess, with four children, this brings about a mixed bag of responses. The girls simply like to get out of our home and do anything. The boy...not so much.

But I am determined to get this principle ingrained in myself and hopefully begun in them: "My purchases do affect others...directly."

I am hoping to have a Fair Trade and/or local, small business Christmas this year. How about you? Does Wal-Mart really need your money again? Especially if you know buying from companies like them and Apple and Starbucks and many, many others, keeps another human soul in physical bondage? Even gift cards from McDonald's, any fast food and most large retailers mean you support companies who do not pay a fair living wage. We can't continue to keep repressing people and then expect them to not need government or charitable assistance. You literally can't have it both ways.

So what if we bought a little less this year, so we could spend a little more, so another soul could at least be physically free? I can't think of a better meaning of Christmas, can you?

Guru India Restaurant- Crescent Springs, Kentucky

Last night, my oldest wanted to go out to eat and spend some time with me. I hesitated at first because I knew I shouldn't spend the money...but then I felt prompted to also remember that she turns 18 in less than a month and these moments are precious and few. I attempted to let her pick the place since she is adhering to a strict Vegan diet with very little grains too. She obviously also cares about not frying her food and limiting her sugar intake to almost non-existent. But she kept saying, "I can find something anywhere". 

In my desire to allow her to eat more than a plain, iceberg lettuce salad, I wanted to try a new place. One that is locally owned and offers vegetarian or vegan options would be a huge bonus too! 

I think we found it!

Guru India in Crescent Springs, just off of Buttermilk Pike had numerous vegetarian options. And while the meal prices were a little steeper than we like to pay for dinner ($11+), there are dozens of ala carte options too. I was considering ordering some dal soup and nan, both of which I already like...when Abbey found a Vegetarian Thal special that included an appetizer, aloo tikki, choley, mater paneer, dal, nan, raita, rice and a small dessert topped with papardamm. Do not ask me other, than the dal and nan, which item was which...but they were all delicious!

We shared the $15.99 meal and together were only able to eat about half of it. Granted, there was cream in some of the dishes, but Abbey was able to steer clear of those and still feel stuffed by the end of the meal. My favorite thing is that you get to pick the spice level from 1 to 5. We chose a 2 and I didn't notice any heat. We could probably bump it up one the next time if we wanted. I also had a glass of sweet mango juice that was very tasty.

The staff, while not overly friendly was definitely pleasant and helpful. The hesitancy may have been more of a language or cultural barrier, but regardless, they were much more welcoming than our most recent excursion in Hebron.

While we were sitting there soaking in the music (which I love!) and the pleasant atmosphere, I remarked to Abbey that just the smell of spices emanating through the restaurant was wonderful. I love all things Indian and this is somewhere I know we'll visit again.

Edwardo's Pizza and Subs- Hebron, Kentucky

I have hesitated to write this review...solely because I have had a strong desire to promote local businesses positively. And, admittedly, in the past, I have had positive experiences at Edwardo's. Last Friday night, was not one such experience.

We arrived at a normal time for dinner around 6:30 p.m. When my husband walked in, one server sounded perturbed and blurted out, "I was about to go home!" He apologized (for inconveniencing her I suppose) and she replied, "Oh, no...you're okay." [Pshew! I was afraid we'd done something wrong by expecting to be welcomed into a pizzeria at dinnertime on a Friday night.] Okay...I'll attempt to leave out the sarcasm from this point forward.

The server who did take our orders asked if we were ready...as she walked by our table about 20 feet to the next one. I said I had a question as she walked by and she yelled...from the other table..."Go ahead!" I (not wanting to also yell across the restaurant) waited for her to return to our table. You see, I have this thing about eating out being different from eating at home. One reason I love to eat out so much is because not only do I not have to prepare or clean up after the food, we just all act differently. Yelling from room to room?...I can do that at home.

She arrived back at our table with a disgruntled, "Go ahead...I can multi-task!...I have to."

Now...at this point...if I'd had my wits about me and known of Dale's greeting from the previous server (I wasn't in the building when it happened). I would have said something like, "You know what...it seems you are all a bit overwhelmed tonight...even though there is only us and your table of eight back there...so how about we just pay for our drinks we haven't drank yet and we'll get out of your hair?" My kids would have been mortified...but we would have saved $40 on a meal that honestly just wasn't that good.

We were minus one child and Dale plus the other three each ordered individual pizzas for $5 each. Sure, they were able to have the toppings they liked, but the crust, in Abbey's words, "tasted like pizza buffet crust". Honestly, I tasted her's and I have better memories of Chey Boyardee box mix. Dale's taco pizza was taco meat and cheese...no lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream or anything like other places have served on their versions.

I ordered the house salad for $5.49. Granted, this was not an $8-10 salad like you may order at a finer establishment, but, in my large bowl was about 1/4 cup wilted iceberg lettuce with about a heaping cup of toppings...most of which was bacon. I have had this salad at a previous visit and was looking forward to eating it again. It's precisely why I suggested this restaurant. You live and learn I guess. Given the mood of our server...who told me she was the one to prepare my salad...and that three more tables of patrons had arrived...I didn't complain for fear of upsetting the delicate balance of her equilibrium. She was not pleasant at anytime during our visit and actually bordered on being rude. My husband still tipped his usual 20%, because that's just who he is and from our demeanor, she may have thought we had a wonderful meal.

I did hesitate to review this restaurant because we have had better experiences there and I just don't want to cause harm in any way to someone that's trying to make an honest living. But as Abbey and I ate at a different establishment last night, had a wonderful meal and compared it to the cost of Edwardo's, she so wisely said, 'But sometimes you have to warn people not to waste their money.' So while I write this with a degree of heaviness for the criticism and negativity it contains, I will add that I am hopeful it was just a bad night and that others have enjoyed much better dining at all of the Northern Kentucky Edwardo's locations.

When He Confirms In Advance

I don't know how to explain this one, but I'll attempt to use my feeble words anyway. Yesterday as I was preparing for my morning, God's Spirit whispered something to me that directly contradicted an insight a friend once shared with me. [I can't go into the details for now, but maybe soon.]

A few years ago, I had offered to help a friend in her ministry. Because she loves me and is so gracious and kind, when she said essentially, 'But I didn't think this was your thing.' I humbly accepted her observation, stayed involved in other things and was never offended at what I perceived was her astute wisdom.

Fast forward to now and I've actually had a little experience in said ministry as a helper. It wasn't anything I chose but I love to feel useful. As I've sat back and watched, God has quietly affirmed me in some of the same gifting I've seen in others. Yesterday morning I very specifically felt Him nudging me that perhaps "this is your thing."

Imagine my confusion when just a few hours later another friend asked me to join her in almost the exact same type of ministry as my friend steered me away from a few years ago. I admit there was a little shock at first, but I hope I didn't sound too full of myself when I relayed the past conversation and current affirmation to this new partner. I wasn't full of myself...just full of a Spirit who was prepping me for the question I had no way of knowing I would be asked.

I haven't told anyone yes yet...but I think that's where I'm heading. Dale even mentioned last night what a good fit it would be for me. So while this isn't a huge thing...it is a thing that can serve, love on and bless others (and myself)...three "things" that I know are me!

No Struggle = No Progress

I have been a little overwhelmed lately with dentist appointments, running errands and other such nonsense and am finally having a chance on this rainy, fall day to do some writing. Studying Scripture, writing and gardening mend my soul and fuel my day like nothing else. [Deep breath!]

I've had a lot of "Oh...I want to write about that" moments recently so I may inundate you with posts over the next few days. Here is the first.

In an entry for last week's Common Prayer, I read the following quote by the American abolitionist and former slave Frederick Douglass: "If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom yet deprecate agitation are men who want crops without plowing up the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."

Hear me on this...although many people I know would have recently voted to overthrow the government during the partial shutdown...I am not advocating any such action by posting these words! Rather, when I read the quote I was struck at the beauty and simplicity with which Douglass is describing my faith Journey. I believe it speaks to the lives of most Christians I know too.

How many times has something bad happened (a death, natural disaster, disease, job loss) and we verbalize something along the lines of "Why is God doing this to me?" We look for where we went wrong and we yell at Him for exacting revenge upon us and we pout, dig in our heels and refuse to believe that a loving God would allow such an atrocity in our lives.

First, I do not believe there are many in the U.S. that really understand the depth of the word atrocity to the point that we have actually lived it. Second, what if we adopted a "Warfare Worldview" as Gregory Boyd discusses in his book Is God to Blame? Third, what if, as Beth Moore has been teaching in Believing God we really believed that

• God is who He says He is
• God can do what He says He can do
• I am who God says I am
• I can do all things through Christ, and
• God's Word is alive, active and living in me?

And lastly, just this morning, this beautiful quote came across my Twitter feed from Ann Voscamp

If I (and yes, we) could simply accept that there will be pain, there will be suffering, there will be disappointment, and there will be many battles along this Journey...then maybe we could quit looking for the reasons why and start looking for the progress that will come. 

Even though for many years I have believed there is true spiritual warfare all around us, I have hesitated to embrace a philosophy that dwells upon it, because I do not want to look for demons around every corner. I do not like to think of people being used as tools of my Enemy. But if there is a war going on and I desire to be in God's Army, it is simply a fact that there will be those who choose to live in the Enemy's camp. 

I'm still not going to be looking for demons, but as I become more Kingdom-minded, my prayer is that in recognizing the battle while it's taking place, I will find the grace to love the one (or the many) that are blinded as to whom they're really working for. 

'Progress is found in the struggle.' Grace is the victory when I look to my General and take up my shield. 

"In addition to all of this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." (Ephesians 6:16, NIV)

October is Fair Trade Month

Because I follow @FairTradeUSA on Twitter, I found out that October is Fair Trade month. [Fair Trade USA has been celebrating all month with giveaways too.] This couldn't be more perfectly timed for what God is doing in me. I've shared about how He is working on the Internal vs External. I've told you also Don't Ever Discount What's Happening on the Inside and that He's refining me. Also, I'm becoming more aware of how my purchases can have global consequences.

Books like This Beautiful Mess and Living the Quaker Way have coincided perfectly with how He is asking me to examine my life in light of Kingdom living. When I live more simply, peacefully, truthfully, communally and with equality for all in my sights...I cannot help but be living out God's Kingdom "on Earth as it is in Heaven". That is a calling we as Christians should always have at the forefront of our thoughts, choices and actions.

Nowhere is God putting this all together better than in the area of coffee. I do love me some coffee! And since I didn't start drinking it until I moved to Kentucky (at 38 years old), I went with the good stuff. For the most part, I have imbibed Starbucks. Yes, they have accumulated a fair share of my money over the last seven years. But here is what God's Spirit began whispering to me a few months ago: If your pleasurable drink keeps people in slave debt, earning slave wages, or supports child labor...why are you drinking it?

In other words, why do I want to support a company or industry that does not pay fair wages to the people growing the product? (To be fair, Starbucks does sell some Fair Trade coffee beans. But what you purchase ready-made in their stores is not.) I say God's Spirit has been whispering, because unfortunately that's about all the volume I've allowed Him to have on this one. But my acquiescence was vital if I am to call myself Kingdom-minded.

And coffee isn't the only guilty harvest...chocolate (cacao beans), sugar, tea, vanilla and a lot of specialty products like moringa, maca powder, etc., should all be grown with fairness for the farmers and protection of our natural resources in mind. Sadly...most is not.

Now...I will concede that there are far too many other abuses of forced labor and trafficking in our world, not with the aforementioned products alone. Just yesterday, my 10 year old Leah asked if there are still slaves in the world. I hate those conversations when you have to demolish your child's innocence. But it was a great opportunity to talk with her about Fair Trade and why I've been buying Fair Trade sugar, vanilla and cacao for some time and have now switched in regards to coffee too. Then this morning, I came across this article that reveals just how horribly rampant slavery is in our world. This afternoon, I watched an old episode of Numbers on Netflix and, you guessed it, the topic was human trafficking.

Okay...okay...I get it: I absolutely need to be aware of how I spend, who gets my money and how the person doing the labor is being treated. I already have my own personal vendettas against Goodwill and Apple, can McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy's be too far behind?

When I think about all the implications of this, I admit...it is very radical. It's the kind of life Shane Claiborne and The Simple Way and thousands of others are attempting to live out daily. Yes, it is inconvenient! Yes, it will greatly reduce my spending (which is a boon for the simple life)! Yes, it will be more time consuming to research before buying or I will have to make my own _______________ (food or merchandise)! But as I've been tempted at least six times in the last two weeks to pull through a McDonalds drive-thru and order my new favorite Pumpkin Spice Latte', my wonderful Abba who is graciously patient with me has firmly...yet lovingly once again whispered, "Will that coffee taste good when you see the hands that have suffered to bring it to you?"  Almost every time, I have envisioned a person's face. It has been a different person each time and when I imagine myself looking into their faces and saying, "I know you work backbreakingly hard labor for a pittance (if any) so that I can have this cheap treat...but I'm going to have it anyway"...my van just keeps driving on past the golden arches.

I tell ya'...God is doing something in me. I am weepy at the drop of a dime and I am overcome with His beauty from the ashes and the wonder or what He is showing me. I keep asking Him with increasing passion, "What are you doing to me?" I may not be able to see the end result, nor know the mind of the Creator and His plans...but this I do know: I wouldn't trade the blessing, peace and love that I feel when I'm following precisely in His steps for anything...not even the "World's Best Cup of Coffee"

PLEASE Read This!

A Facebook friend shared this blogpost today. It is amazing insight into how it feels to be poor and always have to tell your children, "No." Things are a little better for us now...but that's because my husband works 60+ hours a week, just to pay the bills. 

And while we have never used EBT assistance, I have completed the application twice, yet felt a firm "No" from my Abba that, at least for us, food assistance was not how He would provide. I am a huge advocate for those that need it though. Is the system perfect? No. But unless neighbors, families, churches and friends are going to walk beside people for the long haul, there will always be a need for the system.

Children do sometimes need to be told no. But envision a world where you could never buy anything but necessities, could not even buy extra flour or sugar to make an extra treat, couldn't afford any movies, video games, books or toys, could never afford new shoes or clothes for your child and never had gas money for anything except getting to work, the store, school and maybe church and...now ask yourself how long your kids could go without ever being told, "Yes, you may have that treat."

Are you beginning to understand? If not, next time my 10 year old is crying because we have no money for scouts, dance lessons, etc. I'll gladly send you a video so you can see first hand how it feels.

I am thankful for an Abba who loves me...who loves us all...and recently suggested to me that I stop saying, "No, we can't afford that," but rather suggest an alternative instead. Today when the waterworks poured forth at her creative, social brain's perceived slights to her childhood, I was prompted to share with her how we are attempting to learn to live more simply. As we more fully embrace this lifestyle Jesus is calling us to...when He frees up money for us, "won't it be a great thing to be able to help others live, eat and grow too?"

She agreed...that would be a pretty awesome thing.




***I feel so strongly about this, I am posting the link again so you will read it.***
http://withthefamily5.blogspot.com/2013/10/why-i-buy-red-vines-with-my-ebt-card.html#comment-form

Clear Winter Nights- A Book Review

What do you do, what do think, to whom do you turn and where do you begin when you have started to lose faith in the belief system you've always known? This is the crux of the theme of Clear Winter Nights by Trevin Wax.

The book is an easy read and makes use of the fictional novel format to attempt to present the limitless concepts of God's love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. There are even discussion questions in the back of the book for use with a small group or a friend with whom you can honestly explore questions of doubt and faith.

In the previous paragraph, I say "attempt to present" because I'm not certain that questions like this can be explored adequately in a novel. I think they have to be lived. A few times the author references why Chris (the protagonist) may be experiencing a season of doubt, but it felt like secondhand information. There was no emotional pull behind it. While I felt this was the basis of the whole plot, I was detached from caring why Chris would doubt in the first place. Maybe experiencing some of these situations as they happened instead of trying to convey the feelings later would have helped.

Overall, I came away from the book with the perception that the author himself may have never experienced the level of doubt he was trying to portray through his character. I could definitely be wrong in this, but in matters of faith, grace, doubting and the Abba's love, I do not believe you can write about that which you do not know. I felt the author has a firm grasp on the grace and love, but perhaps not the depth of despair you feel when you begin to question everything.

Although this sounds like a negative review, I do not want to leave it there. I do believe this book could be used as a great discussion starter for Christians. But I think it would just be a place to begin. The discussion questions contain no Biblical references and from my own experience, the Bible and prayer that is determined to break through to some type of answer are the best life jackets for surviving a "dark night of the soul".

Friendly Market, Florence, Kentucky

Now that we've been there twice, I feel that I need to give a shout out to the Friendly Market in Florence. Located at 10050 Norbotten Drive, Friendly Market is the most recent farmer's market in Northern Kentucky. But it has a huge difference: while most farm markets are seasonal or weekend only, Friendly's indoor area houses nine permanent vendors. My personal favorite is Brocato's Italian Market. They have just about any flavor of ravioli you could desire, fresh bread and specialty sauces. You would love the butternut squash goat cheese alfredo just as much as I do, I am certain.

On our first visit, I tried a vegan cookie from Taste of Belgium. It was yummy, of course. There is also a store selling Kentucky Proud items, The Flying Olive (gourmet olive oil and vinegar products), an ice cream store and Friendly Meats and Cheeses. Outside on the weekends, you will find local farmers, bakers and craftsmen selling their wares...so bring cash. (I speak from experience.)

Supporting local businesses is sort of becoming a "thing" for me. How much better can you get than to have close to 20 in the same place? Stop by and check it out. There is a little something for almost everyone.

Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!

Everybody singing now?

Well I am. I had a great morning with my two younger girls, Rebekah and Leah. The two oldest had headed off with their buddies to the orchard field trip our co-op friends were having and the girls and I have had the day to ourselves.

I didn't sign us all up for the field trip, because it's a little pricey. But I actually think I have now spent more. I remarked about a little guilt over that and Leah quickly reminded me, "Yes...but it was fun." And she is absolutely right!

We agreed upon Bob Evans for breakfast (it's much easier to get a unanimous decision amongst three than six!), dropped off some recycling (which gives me my feel-good vibe of the day), purchased a new quilting cutter blade so I could get crafty (although I have already cut myself with it), and when I asked the girls where they wanted to go have fun, Rebekah quickly reminded me that I had hoped to take them to play putt putt before it gets cold outside.

So putt putt at World of Golf in Florence it was. And while we all pretty much stink at the game, we had a blast. The highlight had to be fishing Leah's flip flop out of the pond...don't ask...just don't ask. Although I am highly competitive, I was able to relax, give them some pointers and soak up the gorgeous sunshine. I love to hear my kids laugh and the excitement when each of us hit one hole-in-one apiece, was pretty cool.

So yeah...we probably could have spent a little less on the field trip...but I wouldn't have traded this morning for anything.

"Yes, but what did he Do?

Today was another excellent session in the Beth Moore Believing God Bible study that I attend. She spoke primarily from Ephesians 1, which not coincidentally was the topic for our speaker during co-op last week. Last Friday, when I heard Michelle talk about learning to feel chosen and accepted, I shared again one of my favorite posts about just that... being chosen. Today Moore reinforced that I am also blessed, adopted, accepted, redeemed and forgiven. This internal work is obviously where God wants my undivided attention. I do not believe it can become any more obvious without a literal banner dropping from the sky.

Then during our small group time, my table chose to discuss Enoch. We don't know much about Enoch other than 'he walked with God and then was no more because, God took him.' One of the ladies in our group instinctively asked, "Yes...but what did he do?"

And once again, I was overcome with the awesomely awesome reality that I don't have to do anything. I said as much regarding Enoch and the lesson I am currently learning. We apparently don't have to do anything to walk with God. The woman who posed the question replied, "And isn't that beautiful?"

Why yes...yes it is.

Velocity Bike and Bean

If you live in the Florence/Northern Kentucky area, you will recognize that I am late to the table (albeit a high top one!) on discovering this place. I'm uncertain as to when Velocity Bike and Bean of Florence opened, but I know more than a few people who have enjoyed their coffee for some time.

So while I'm a latecomer, I am now a fan. I visited there yesterday with my friend Kari, enjoyed a very yummy Nutella latte', sat comfortably in the cozy atmosphere, perused their excellent book selections (including a few by my favorite Donald Miller) and had a great conversation with a great lady. But don't let the wonderful coffee and cute atmosphere deceive you...Velocity is a fully operational bike shop too. Apparently, this combination is a little more common in other parts of the country, but here, not so much. It seems to be working though.

Velocity had a steady stream of customers, for both bike and bean, in the two hours that I was there. I can see why. And although their hours are only Monday through Friday 9 to 4 and Saturdays 9 to 3, they are open the second Saturday evening of each month for local musicians to perform. I know my husband, Dale, would love this and we hope to make it out to this week's session.

But the most amazing part of this place (for me, the non-biking enthusiast) is the coffee...and not just because it's tasty. Well, it is...but that's not the only good point. No, it's also Fair Trade. Oh...you know they are speaking my language now...right? I've shared on this blog how God has been calling me to this idea of being a good steward in every area of my life. That is being brought out by Him over and over again in the choices I make in regards to spending the resources He's given us. Nowhere has this become more obvious lately than in the area of coffee.

So next time you want to meet up with a friend over an excellent cup of java, please support the locally-owned Velocity Bike and Bean at 7560 Burlington Pike in Florence. By choosing to buy the Carabello Coffee brand, your dollars are also helping to support Fair Trade for the farmers who grow the beans and this local coffee company that helps fund non-profits and charity work with their proceeds. I don't think you'll find a better deal anywhere...no matter how attractive the "Siren" is.

Living the Quaker Way (A Book Review)

I grew up in the same hometown as author Philip Gulley and have greatly enjoyed his  Porch Talk essays and Harmony series. But due to his perceived controversial nature among many in the evangelical Protestant circles with which I rub elbows, I have intentionally avoided his theological books. At a time when myself and many others I know personally or follow online are being challenged to live more purposefully aware of our consumption, our global impact and aiding those who are overlooked and marginalized by mainstream society, I cannot in good conscience completely ignore a book that calls us back to a life of

• Simplicity
• Peace
• Integrity
• Community, and
• Equality

SPICE...the very ideals the Quakers have been putting into practice for centuries have now become trendy again, at least in theory. What I love about Gulley's folksy wisdom is it's practicality and yes, simplicity. When so many are fed up with the unlimited consumption of our culture, while millions starve, Gulley's reminder that enough is well...enough, is a minimalist's breath of fresh air.

I am fully aware that most Christians I know would find at least one issue to disagree with Gulley over and I confess I do not concur with every theological point that he makes. But as he states up front, he is not attempting to convert people to his faith. Rather, I believe he's calling us to a reminder of how God created us to live...simply, peacefully, honestly and equally together.

What I deeply respected after finishing Living the Quaker Way, is that although I do not agree with everything Gulley believes, I know he is one of the few Christians that would be okay with that. I am confident he would be fully attentive and respectful of my perspective and I would come away from a conversation knowing I had been heard and not belligerently attacked for having disagreed. Unfortunately, I remember that Gulley has not always received the same respect.

Many of the "hot button issues" over which Gulley's liberal faith would draw evangelical ire, I think can be best summed up by his declaration that "Any religion that does not have a kind and hopeful word for the world's oppressed or creates by virtue of its principles an underclass is not a religion worth our dedication or obedience. As for me, I want no part of a god or religion that exalts some and vilifies others." Call it Quakerism, folksy wisdom or whatever you want, standing up for the oppressed and the underclass is exactly the life that Jesus led...as should we all.

Walk with Grief Slowly

I currently am not experiencing a time of grieving in my life...but I have had my fair share. Today, I read a little ahead in the Common Prayer book and wanted to share wisdom I pray that I remember the next time and may be encouraging to someone now:

Andy Rains of the Northumbria Community has written, "Do not hurry as you walk with grief; it does not help the journey. Walk slowly, pausing often: do not hurry as you walk with grief. Be not disturbed by memories that come unbidden. Swiftly forgive; and let Christ speak for you unspoken words. Unfinished conversation will be resolved in him. Be not disturbed. Be gentle with the one who walks with grief. If it is you, be gentle with yourself. Swiftly forgive; walk slowly, pausing often. Take time, be gentle as you walk with grief."

Amen!

Just a Little Something

I know there are some pretty hefty problems out there that need to be addressed. And I know a lot of people that would like to address them. I also know that my Abba is in complete control and even when there are much bigger fish to fry, He still delights in taking a little time to give me sweet gifts.

Last weekend I did a little research on if and how I could grow garlic in containers over the winter. I perused the site and was excited at the prospect, but uncertain where to start.

Wednesday I had a friend over to show me a new product she's selling and there was an unexpected knock on the door. It was my friend Lori bringing me some fresh green beans to cook and...you've probably guessed it...a bulb of garlic so I could plant it!

It seems about the time I was researching how to grow garlic, Lori was at a home show or something (the details were a little difficult for me to grasp in the moment) and there was a company selling dozens of varieties of garlic to grow and Lori thought, 'I bet Angela would like to grow something like that.'

I have a bad habit of not always recognizing a gift/blessing in the moment that it's happening. I have begun to believe this might be because my finite brain needs time to process the complexities of God. Whatever the explanation, as I've prepared the pots and the soil and planted enough garlic to have as many as 10 fresh, homegrown heads of Thermadrone garlic next summer, Holy Spirit has been speaking to me more and more about this internal work He wants to do in me.

He's been whispering, "Sometimes, my love, when you don't know where to start...I just show up at your front door and make a special delivery."

He's pretty awesome like that!
Amen!

Internal vs. External

It seems everywhere I turn there is this running theme: God is not concerned with what I do but He is very interested in who I am.

I shared my friend Chandra's powerful words. Yet, too many times to count, I have struggled with this overwhelming desire to do something for Jesus...and not just something...but something HUGE. I have wrestled with the passion to serve vs. being in the limelight. I want everyone to know this amazing Abba (Daddy) that consumes so much of my life. In all honesty, at times I have to adamantly sift through whether this is because of Him drawing me to this or my "need" to be noticed.

I sat through one of the most profound Beth Moore sessions I've ever watched or listened to yesterday at the Believing God Bible study I attend. The insight she taught regarding God's priority of the internal over the external was a resounding affirmation to what He has already been teaching me. I sat there with all of my accompanying "Amens!", oohs, aahs, moans and sighs as God's Spirit challenged me to take my eyes off of this big, unknown "something" out there in the vast expanse of Christendom and to instead refocus with laser-like precision on what He longs to do inside of me.

This morning as I was doing my ritual morning catch-up on Twitter and Facebook, God decided to sum it all very concisely for me...just in case I'd missed it so far. And the quote came from Gregory Boyd.

"If you think you're going to DO something that will give your life more significance than it already has, you are in deceptive bondage."

When I want to proclaim to the nations all that I think my Abba would love for me to share, I lose sight of the harvest He's already procuring in me and the lives of those immediately surrounding me. This is a constant struggle for me and has been for many, many years. I know we all long for significance and apparently my Enemy knows this is particular weakness of mine. Seeing this "longing" described as bondage was the proverbial "slap in the face" I needed. In fact, I think the quote is going up on my mirror.

Jesus left us with the the command to go into all the world and make disciples (see Matthew 28:19-20) but He never left it entirely on my shoulders. He is the One that is drawing all men to Himself, not me. And when I forget that I'm one of those that needs to be made a disciple, I'm putting myself in the wrong place...Teacher instead of the Student I was designed to be. 

Fashioning Crosses

I did some reading on a few days I had skipped in my Common Prayer book because I've been so involved in the Believing God study I'm doing. I came across this in September 30th's entry:

"Lord, keep us from making crosses out of the splinters of discomfort in our lives. Help us recognize the true crosses you call us to bear, those whose weight lends to the freedom and provision of others. Amen."

Yes, my "crosses" are pretty puny compared to what so many others have to endure. I remember reading an interview with Francis Chan after he spent time with Jesus followers in China. The people just naturally assumed that we in the West endured persecution just like they do. After all, if you only had a Bible to learn what Christianity looked like, and you lived on a deserted island (another Chan point from one of his books), what would you think the Church would look like? Are we really so deceived as to believe it would look like our version in the U.S.?

The Chinese Christians actually laughed at the suggestion that we over here leave churches because of programs, music or people we don't like. Very telling indeed.

So this small quote today hit me just where I needed it to. Yes, I need community and it needs to be with others that are seeking Him first, foremost and sacrificially...but...the little splinters of discomfort like style of worship, dynamic vs. bland preaching, Lifegroup vs. small group vs. Sunday school class...honestly, just don't matter. The cross that I should be picking up is the one that provides and frees. That's what Jesus did...and so should I.