THIS is it.

Have you ever heard something before...possibly several times before...and all of the sudden you have that "lightbulb" moment and it just makes sense?

Such was the case yesterday when one of the teaching pastors at church read Romans 12:1-2 from The Message. 

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you:  Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. you'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

As I already stated, I know I've read this before and I know I liked it when I read it. But yesterday, everything He's been calling me to...every reminder to trust the process...ever instance when the Spirit has reminded me or I have reminded my children that if we call ourselves by the name of Christian that our lives will look very different from the culture around us...every time I have told them that the only difference between us and other mammals is that we have the gift of being able to "stop and think"...every one of these and so much more can be summed up in these two verses.

You see, He wants all of me...my "sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life". And He wants me to ask the questions of why our culture is the way it is and acts the way it acts and accepts the things it accepts without ever questioning. He gives us the Holy Spirit so that we can beg for discernment and then we can readily "recognize what He wants from (us), and quickly respond to it."

What happens when I live by these principles that have been making more and more sense to me individually and blew me away yesterday when I heard them all together in the context of letting the Spirit transform me? "God brings the best out of (me), develops well-formed maturity in (me)."

This is what He's been moving me toward all along. Funny how just this weekend I've had conversations with friends about praying for discernment and the Spirit's been asking me to ask Him for more of it. Then this beautiful passage drops in my lap and I just get it. I get what He's asking. He wants me to be ready at a moment's notice to recognize what He wants and to obey instantly. In order to do that, every day I need to give my ordinary life to Him as an offering.

Not having to figure out all of the details of how I should be living this life, yet trusting that He will tell me each step of the way, and knowing that it will look so different from the culture around me that people will see the reflection of God's Spirit in me and be drawn to Him???

Yep.

Sign. Me. Up!

Learning to Pray Boldly

Pictured above are several index cards with biblical scriptures printed upon them. This is not a concept that is new to me, I've been doing it for about four years now. Beth Moore, in one of her studies, was the first to "turn me on" to this way of learning Scripture and claiming it personally. What is new to me is an idea presented in her Believing God study: Speak the Scripture out loud and claim them with the power and authority of the Holy Spirit whom resides in me.

Obviously, she can explain this much more eloquently and dynamically than I ever could...but here's what I know:  this has absolutely transformed my prayer life and outlook on my relationship with God. Do not tune me out because you think I've bought into some type of "prosperity gospel". I am not claiming a boat or a car or a mansion or a fancy trip or any other number of things that many televangelists and preachers have wrongly taught that you can "name it and claim it".

But if I am praying from a heart that is wholly surrendered to the will of God, asking Jesus to speak His Word into my life and prayerfully expecting the power of the Holy Spirit to deliver on the promises He has claimed that He can, then I can with unfettered boldness declare: God, as Your eyes move to and fro throughout the earth, I know that You will strongly support me (sustain me; make me bold; encourage me; repair me; help me to withstand) because You find my heart (my soul; my inner part; my inclination; my resolution) is completely (wholly, perfectly) Yours. (see II Chronicles 16:9)

By simply taking His Word, inserting personal pronouns and sometimes even my name, (and even looking up alternate definitions for some significant words) I have claimed a biblical promise for my own life. Again, this concept isn't new to me. What is different is speaking it out loud! 

Moore explains the reason for this: We can pray without ceasing and should...but when we speak God's, Holy Spirit inspired Word...we are speaking the very words of God. We've been told in Scripture that our enemies tremble in God's Presence (see James 2:19 for one reference). We've also been told that the Holy Spirit has unsurpassed power and that He is the energy in the spoken word of God (see Genesis 1:2). Thus, when we speak the very Words of God, demons flee and the Holy Spirit is unleashed to work, battle, encourage or discipline just as He has promised He will.

Since I began doing this a few weeks ago, having tailored some specific Scriptures to specific people and situations, I have seen God's Spirit moving and working. Long-buried issues that have needed addressed; old habits that just need to be put away so we, as Christians, can enjoy Kingdom-living (see Proverbs 14:26-27); awareness that we don't fight against flesh and blood but against powers and forces we cannot see so I don't take little slights as personally as in the past (see Ephesians 6:12); a very real knowledge of the closeness of the Presence of the Holy Spirit (see Proverbs 2:3-5); and that His hope for reconciliation, restoration, abiding joy and comfort and beautiful life is always available and no one can take that hope away from me (see Ephesians 1:12 and Romans 5:5 and (I Corinthians 13:13)!!!

Because of all I have seen, heard and felt over the last six weeks, I may be annoying those who know me. I cannot help but be 'bubbling over with the memory of His abundant goodness and shouting joyfully of His righteousness.' (see Psalm 145:7) I have had some amazing conversations the last few weeks and I just know He is only getting started! I have to be honest and say that there has been a lot of activity on my Enemy's part too and I have not been surprised. But 95% of the battle has been in my head and declaring God's Word out loud makes the baddie flee the premises much faster than he used to. Bottom line...I am supposed to be about my Father's business (see Joshua 24:15) so no enemy that comes between that objective should get free rent in my head any more.

God never said this would be easy (see John 16:33), but He promised He would never leave nor forsake me (see Deuteronomy 31:6). So as I "fight the good fight" (see I Timothy 6:12) I am thankful to be learning just how powerful my Sword is (see Ephesians 6:17)!

***Okay, funny side note for anyone that ever grew up in an evangelical, protestant church. Did you ever have Bible drills? Did your Sunday school teacher ever have everyone start with their Bibles extended in the air? Did your teacher ever say, "Put your swords in the air."?? Really? Why did it take almost 40 years for me to get this: It really is a sword!

You'd Better Mean It!

You know that time in your day when you're all alone with God and you tell Him something like this: 'I surrender my thoughts, my day, my actions to You. I want You to have absolute control because I know I'll just make a mess of things. I want to hear You, see You working. I want to see Your power and Your glory. I want everything that goes into and out of my mouth to glorify You. I want my hands to serve how You want and my feet to go where You lead.'

Well, if like me, you attempt to say some variant of this everyday...you are abdicating control of your life to God (as we should) and in a way, I feel like I'm saying...'No matter what may come today, I'll be ready with You in control.'

Last night I had another reminder that if this is something you're going to pray...you'd better mean it!

Case and point: I meet my friend, Lori, once a month to chit-chat and discuss how we're doing in a lot of different areas in our lives. But...it always comes back to God. Funny thing...as I look back...I'd been sharing with Lori how I feel at a loss for how to serve, where to serve and when to serve. I went on to relate that I feel called to be around the poor and continue meeting with and helping single moms.

But there's no "program" that I feel drawn to. Either because we can't serve as a family, or if we can serve as a family, my children are still young enough that they won't let us serve around their clientele. We were blessed to serve at the Henry Hosea House for a year...but we never met anyone that was served by this ministry. I don't want this because I somehow deserve gratitude. No, I want relationship and to hear the life stories of those with whom and for whom we are serving.

My conclusion to Lori last night was that I need to be more intentional about a few ideas I've already been given and that I just need to take any other opportunities as they arise. Actually, I'm not certain I spoke the second part out loud, but I know I've been thinking it.

Just as a reminder...I've already asked God earlier in my day that He would give me the power, the will and even the words if an opportunity arises and here I am with my friend reiterating in my heart and mind that maybe my service for now won't be structured but as God provides it.

God has a great sense of humor, doesn't He?

The conversation turned and I went on to talk with Lori about my shock at how some of my former co-workers, that I know don't make much money, are also prejudiced against the so-called "Entitlement Programs" that we hear so much about in the news. I guess I wrongly assumed that the working poor would mostly empathize with those that need assistance. And right in the middle of this conversation, lo and behold this 20-something young man walks over to us and said he "couldn't help but overhear part of your conversation."

My first thought was, 'Oh, no...I'm going to get in trouble for being too loud in the library.' (the place where we were meeting...there is a more social atmosphere at this one than most.)

But alas, that wasn't the problem...instead it was that this political science student wanted to set us straight (really just me, since I was talking) about how broken our government is; how we need to overhaul the whole system; how all the ills of society can be traced back to Democrat presidents; and how the economy will absolutely be belly-up by 2020.

Seriously...this was a 10-15 minute conversation that started out on his knees before us and after a few minutes grabbed a chair and joined us. There wasn't much I could say other than state how assistance like the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) had at times helped us put shoes on our kids feet, tires on our car and food on our table. Thus presenting my case that some people are working hard and trying to make a living and just need a little help. I also pointed out that the greatest increase and expansion of the EITC was under the Reagan administration. He replied that he knew this and that Reagan was a Republican. So honestly, I don't know where he stood on anything...except that he was obviously angry about the mess he's inheriting.

I even agreed with him on a few points. But after a several minutes into the conversation, I discovered that I was praying. I'd never experienced anything like this. I was praying for God's words and direction and became aware of it mid-sentence. This truly was the Holy Spirit interceding for me when I didn't know how to pray (see Romans 8:26).

In that moment though, I realized there wasn't anything that I could say to change his heart so "God give me just one seed to plant...just one!" I think He did.

I always try to find the humor in everything...it's a gift that God has used richly in my life and last night I believe was one more opportunity. In the midst of this young man's diatribe against our world as we know it, I said, "Then you know what you need to do?" He looked dumbfounded. "You need to be Amish." Blank look for the first time from this brilliant (in his mind) young man and a reply of, "But I don't want to be Amish."

"They pay into a community fund," I added, "not social security, and if someone is injured they go to the emergency room or wherever and ask how much the hospital will except in cash and to write off the rest." He reiterated, "I don't want to be Amish."

But...and here's how my humor is a gift from God...it disarmed him and stopped him to take a breath just long enough for the Holy Spirit to form the thought in my mind and get the words on my tongue, "Well, there is a movement among Christians to start paying into collective community "pools" like this. It's sort of a "social tithe" and they take care of each other when someone has a need. His reply? "Huh. I hadn't heard of that," (the first thing so far in the conversation that he didn't already know, I might add.) He went on, "I kind of like that idea."

[Ahhh...sweet seed of Truth...I have no doubt in God's timing, you will grow! Admittedly, immediately following the conversation, I didn't see any value in it. Upon reflection with God's Spirit, I see there was.]

We had another minute or so of give and take before the library began to close and we all got up to leave. He introduced himself and asked our names, shook our hands, said it was a pleasure to meet us, put his chair back and was off. As we gathered up our things and he did his, he even said as he headed toward the door, "You ladies have a nice evening."

There was much more to this conversation and some of his ideas about how to fix the system were disturbing and honestly, fall right in line with the mentality of Nazi Germany. Sort of a 'if you're not a productive member of society, we'll make you one.' His take on this was forcing medication on those that are bi-polar, ADD, and I'm assuming others that "need" it so they can hold down jobs. This is just one example.

But bottom line, I came away knowing that God is true to what He says.

• It's been decades since I engaged in conversation/debate like this with a non-Christian...yet, I still need to be prepared, because I never know when it will drop in my lap.
• Ask God to show me where He's working and He'll give me the chance to join in.
• Tell Him I want His thoughts and He'll give them when I need them.
• Tell Him that my hands and feet want to serve wherever He leads and the library might turn into one of my biggest battlegrounds.
• Trust in His power and strength alone...because there's absolutely no way I can see all that is going on behind the scenes.
• Trust Him for the results. The seed I planted may not sprout for a very long time...but when it does, the Spirit will be right there watering it and shining His light of truth upon it.

Ask Him to give you opportunity to love and share in His Name...even in a tiny way...and He will...trust me...I know.

Never Forget

Lord help me! There are too many days when I forget the life I used to live...the person I was before I said, "Yes, Jesus I'll follow You no matter the cost." On those days, which I have just admitted are too frequent, I have less tolerance and patience for the people that don't already know this Jesus...the ones whose lives don't look all neat and tidy...the ones who don't have this Jesus-led journey all figured out like I do. Ha! [Hopefully, you detect my sarcasm!]

But seriously though, I've already shared recently that I desire to "Receive the Word Implanted" and that James 1:21 promises it (the Word of God) is able to "save your souls". This is an amazing promise. Having God's Word so deep down in your soul that it feels "implanted" saves you because it can't help but change you...or can it?

See, there's a little bit more to the context, and it's this:

"But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he's like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was." (James 1:22-24)

Nowhere in this passage does it say to stop hearing the word. It simply says if you only hear and there's never any doing of this same word then, really...you must have somehow forgotten who you used to be before you heard this word.

Don't believe me that this happens? Then ask any restaurant server which shift they hate working the most. Probably 90% or more would answer, Sunday afternoon lunch. It seems that the after-church crowd is notorious for being rude, demanding and very stingy with their tips...if they even tip at all. Okay, I don't know in what church that is teaching the Bible as their text, anyone would ever be told, "Therefore, go into all the world, being nasty to the working poor and just assume that they want to work for you for free." And since I want to assume that no preacher in his right mind would so blatantly distort the Word of God in this way, the disconnect has to be between the hearing and the doing, right?

And you're not off the hook if you don't believe in going out to eat on Sundays!

You see, there's a whole Bible...both Old and New Testaments...chock full of "words" that say we should be advocates for the poor, taking some of the wealth God has blessed us with and sharing it with those that either can't help themselves or simply didn't get the same educational, familial, societal or behavioral opportunities that you did. And yet, even if you think you have had a charmed life...truth is...you didn't. Because all other factors aside...before you met Jesus...you were at least morally bankrupt and heading toward an eternity separated from Him that would include lots of weeping and gnashing of your teeth.

Yet, for some disconnected reason, week after week, we hear (or read) the Word of God and we're perfectly content not doing it.

If the restaurant analogy doesn't hit close enough to home, please just stop and ask God to show you where your area of weakness in not doing His Word lies. Because I can assure you...we're all guilty in some area of falling short of His ideal. (Romans 3:23) And the blood of Jesus absolutely covers these failings. That's called grace. But He also repeatedly cried out either through the prophets in the Old Testament, through the disciples in the New or through His own lips as He walked this earth, that the ones who thought they were righteous should be the first ones to line up and cry out for justice, mercy, compassion, healing, assistance and above all, love to the weak, poor, downtrodden, misjudged and neglected.

I speak from experience...it's a whole lot easier to send a check to a sponsored child half a world away than to enter into someone's messy life just down the street. After all, they may not want to change in the way or the timing we want. But God commanded us to love and serve them anyway...even if they think they're entitled to handouts or can't muster the mental acuity to pull themselves up by their bootstraps like we've been brainwashed into believing everyone can, if they only try.

See, if I 'look intently into the perfect law, the law of liberty' which James explains in just a few verses is "To love your neighbor as yourself," then I'm going to remember that "myself" wanted Love, mercy, justice, a helping Hand, a listening Ear and a compassionate Heart when I was a miserable wretch (and still am!)...if I just remember what I am without the One who freely gave me His Hand, Ear and Heart before I got my act together...maybe that love, mercy, justice, help, compassion, etc. will flow a little more freely to the ones that we've all been judging as just lazy and undeserving.

I've known people that have beaten themselves up for decades because they can't ever forget the things they've done. I've lived through the bitterness and resentment that consumed extended family members for this very reason. I don't ever want us to feel the guilt and shame that our enemy uses to keep us enslaved. No, instead, I praise God that His Spirit taught me early on in this journey that the only way I wouldn't be a slave to my past was to thank Him for the place from where He brought me. When the memories and shame would assail, I would pray my thanks and whisper, "Never let me forget". Amazingly, those memories never again had any power over me, but I confess, that life of so long ago now seems as if it were lived by someone else. I actually struggle to remember. James is teaching me to no longer merely whisper this prayer...but everyday, I need to look in the mirror at the life-path the "natural" me would be headed down if not for Jesus and His grace, and to rejoice in the blessing of the opportunities I have to live out my thanks by not just hearing His Word, but by doing it too.

Chosen Because

Imagine, or remember, if you will...that day on the playground when everyone was choosing teams for kickball, baseball, football, dodge ball or whatever sport it was that they were selecting sides. Remember that fear of being the last one chosen? Okay, are your palms as sweaty as mine at just the memory?

There's an idea I've been mulling over for a few days and I've delayed writing because I so very much want to say this right. I've asked Holy Spirit to give me His words because this is such a BIG idea that I know it didn't come from me. At the same time, I want to be very careful to be aware that we are fragile, finite, clueless humans...we live in a land of smoke and mirrors...and I want God's Love to ooze out of every word I write.

So I've wrestled with this thing for a few days...and while I'm still limited to expressing it in words, I know God's timing is perfect and I have to trust Him to use this how He wants...because I am not perfect. And that's precisely what this lesson is about...my imperfection...make that imperfections!

On the 24th, I read a nice reminder in Jesus Calling to take time out to rest and not feel guilty about it. This in and of itself is a discipline that our culture needs to reestablish in our break-neck-speed world. But what threw me for the proverbial "loop" was not even anything that I'd really associated with the need for rest. Here's what author Sarah Young wrote (keep in mind this is written as Jesus speaking the words to you, the reader):

"I have chosen you less for your strengths than for your weaknesses, which amplify your need for Me."

As a long-time Christian, I am more than familiar that God's strength is best displayed through my weaknesses. That when I am weak, then I am made strong by the power of the Holy Spirit (see 2 Corinthians 12:9, and Romans 8:26) But here's what I gleaned from Young's writing on this day:

I was chosen because of my weakness!

If that doesn't hit you like a ton of heavenly bricks...read it again.

I was chosen because I doubt...because I worry...because I fear...because I'm selfish...because I am harsh...because I'm gossipy, critical, negative, ego-centric, troubled, and the list goes on and on and on! I think I sort of already knew this, but on this day, I felt God's loving Spirit reminding me that I don't have to have all the answers and I don't have to "get it right" every time because He knows I'm weaker than even I  know I am...and He's okay with that! In fact...it's exactly why He chose me!!!

Hopefully, you sense my excitement about this. If not...imagine text size 72 instead of 12 and you get the idea. I cannot begin to relate the peace this gives such a failure as myself...and not because it somehow excuses any poor behavior or bad choices/sin on my part. But instead of beating myself up when I fall short of perfection...how about if I give Him those weaknesses ahead of time and ask Him to grow me stronger in them. That way, even if it's only between Him and I, when I do hold my tongue or have faith in the unfathomable or see positive in the negative then I know it's only because of Him and there is no pride in that. No...instead there is deep humility and gratefulness for a God that chose me precisely because He knew He could fill in that deficit.

As I've chewed on this the last few days, it occurred to me yesterday (not for the first time!) that this whole "Kingdom of Jesus" thing is absolutely upside down and backwards to what our human brains think life should look like. I even said to the ladies in my Bible study group, "It's like Alice falling into the rabbit hole." So while I am thankful that God made me intelligent, discerning, a natural leader and a gifted singer...those are not the gifts that I'm praising Him for this morning. No...today...I'm thanking Him that I'm short-tempered, quick to judge, harshly critical, prone to embellish, difficult to work with, selfish, worrisome, fearful, financially challenged, have had a dysfunctional family background and am absolutely not perfect in any way. Only when I take this deformed bundle of junk to Him and acknowledge its existence can He begin to sift through it and create beauty from the ashes of it all (see Isaiah 61:3).

So yeah...in this upside down, topsy-turvy Kingdom of Jesus...I finally get what Paul meant about boasting in his weakness (see 2 Corinthians 11:30 and 2 Corinthians 12:5) My prayer is that when I'm tempted to drown in my failings, I'll allow God's Spirit to remind me that those flaws are not to be a tool of my enemy to keep me afraid and defeated.

Who cares if I'm not the fastest runner, the hardest kicker or even the sharpest maneuverer on the playground? In God's Kingdom...I'm still chosen! And not just chosen...but chosen because I can't run the bases without getting winded!

Amen!

Don't Ever Forget

As I've continued my study through the book of Isaiah, I've learned much and I'm not really sure that I like all of what I've learned. The judgments are pretty tough to read and this evening though was a bit of a "mixed bag" of emotions over something I read in Isaiah 17. According to my New American Standard Bible which is an Inductive Study Bible version, Chapters 13 through 23 of Isaiah are primarily "oracles against various nations". This, I was prepared for.

But what I found tucked in verses 4-17 left me more than a little sad. Verse four starts with these words:

     "Now in that day the glory of Jacob will fade"

Why, you may ask?

     "For you have forgotten the God of your salvation" (verse 10)

As I continued to read, I could "feel" the sadness come over me. After a few repetitions subconsciously, I realized I was repeating silently, "LORD, may I never forget. LORD, may I never forget." I continued to repeat this a few more times and understood that this was the Holy Spirit...not me...in this moment...grieving for those who have forgotten their God of salvation...grieving for the times when I also forget...and praying for me, because sometimes I don't know how to pray, imploring Him to always help me remember (see Romans 8:26)...to keep the God of my salvation at the forefront of my memory and thus, all that I do and say.

This, in and of itself, was a blessing to experience...but my God is amazing and sometimes He gives me a "two-fer". What's a "two-fer"? That's a two fer one lesson of the day. Okay, so maybe it's not two separate lessons, but rather two different ways to say the same thing. Here's what I mean.

Immediately following this, and upon opening up a new Beth Moore devotional I've started on the life of Paul, I needed only start with the first words to see where this was going:

"Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (see Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

Verse four is what in Judaism is known as The Shema. "Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One." This is uttered repeatedly throughout prayer services. It's spoken aloud every morning and this passage in Deuteronomy has the key for never forgetting...'bind them to your hand and your forehead'. This is the ancient practice of wearing phylacteries...those little black "boxes" you see Jewish men wearing when they pray. As an extremely devout Jew, Paul would have undoubtedly bound one containing passages from the Torah (as they all did) within the cube and wound the leather straps precisely seven times around his left arm. The other cube was bound in the center of his forehead. 

If you read the Deuteronomy passage above, you may recognize the oft-quoted verse seven that reminded the people of Israel to speak the law, the promise, essentially the Torah to their children as they sat, walked, lie down and rose up. In other words, all the time.

The Beth Moore quote that jumped up and smacked me is this: "You see, a thirteen-year-old Hebrew boy could not even get out of bed in the morning without remembering to whom he belonged. As he wound the straps of the phylacteries around his head and arm, he was reminded of his binding relationship to his Creator." As I read this, God's Spirit reminded me that as I pray for and with my children daily, one of my heart's greatest desires is that they would know they are a child of the King and that they are loved beyond measure. But my inconsistency to teach them His Word, is not encouraging their hearts to know these truths and run with them. 

I admit it, sometime in this past year, for the sake of saving time, we dropped our Bible reading from our school day ritual and I assigned each of the kids to read their own devotional books. I believe God can use those times of being alone with Him to speak to their hearts. Honestly though, I haven't even been consistent lately about reminding them to read their devotions, nor have I followed up to see if they've completed it. Yes...shame on me. Today, as I sat processing through the grief of those who've forgotten in Whom they find salvation and being myself reminded how to never forget, this is what I sensed being spoken to my heart: 

"There is nothing more important in any day that you can teach your children than My Love...My Word...for them."

I speak to the kids often of God's ways. I try, and have noticed it's becoming more frequent and easier, to tie in everything we do to spiritual lessons on faith, love, patience and so much more. I'm reminded today that these are mostly my words. The best words I can share with them are not mine...but His.

So that's my challenge for the days, weeks, months and yes, years ahead. No, I will not make my children start wearing phylacteries...but I will begin again to daily read a portion of Scripture with them. In fact, the timing is perfect as Abbey and I begin Beth Moore's study of James in a few weeks...the book of the Bible that opened my eyes to the plight of the poor and God's command to serve them. What wonderful lessons await our family as the kids and I read through this book in the New Testament together verse by verse? I can't wait to find out. One thing I know...as we read His Story together...we won't forget in Whom we are saved!

Amen!

Just Hanging On!

Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm verbose. Yet, if you're a frequent reader, you may notice that I've been unusually silent. To be honest...I'm struggling. Nothing new...I know. But, if nothing else, I do try to be honest about my struggles. Yet, I've hesitated to post too much because I really just feel like I'm being whiny. A dear friend assured me about a week ago that I am not...but I just can't help feeling like a big 'ol whiny baby.

I mean, I have so much to be thankful for and 90% of those aren't financial. I'm reading through Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, and while I'm being challenged because we live in one of the wealthiest, most consumer-driven nations on Earth, it's also been causing me a lot of angst I think. Analyzing the reason for this, I can see that there are some deep-rooted issues and misconceptions about Him that God is trying to weed out and unfortunately, I've been hanging on to these issues more tightly than I've been hanging on to Him.

You see, I keep reading this book and telling myself (or allowing my enemy to tell me), "But, I'm not a rich Christian," "I have nothing left to give", "Giving time, a listening ear and prayer, just don't seem like enough". In the meantime, I'm finding myself a little resentful. Ouch! Ripping the bandaid off the self-pity wound here...hang on a minute. This is going to show just how ugly and twisted my thought processes are... I keep thinking..."I'm not the one that needs to read this book, yet, I can't go hand it to a rich Christian and say, 'You need to read this.'" And when I truly grasp our financial circumstances, we make less than many of the people we want to serve when you calculate government assistance and wages together. So far, government assistance has not been God's path of provision for us...it may be some day...but not for now. I fully support those that use government assistance while they are working or going to school and have no other means to survive...it's just not been His plan for our family for some reason that only He knows. [Hope that is understood and doesn't piss off anyone! Just a truth for our family alone.]

So this ugliness of bitterness, resentment, judgment, criticism, fear, doubt, worry, etc., etc., etc., has kept me from embracing and become the woman that God created me to be...one who loves Him above all else and defends and supports the poor and downtrodden, particularly single moms and their families. Instead, I've been wallowing and worrying...two W's that do not exist peacefully with the W I should be doing...Worship! God's brought me face to face with this ugliness and He's challenging me to analyze why it's there, own up to my part of it and let Him root it out. So here goes:

• For some reason...I think partly due to always having lived in suburban, white, America...I have bought into this lie that I somehow deserve financial blessings. After all, many a sermon has said, 'If you just do A, B, and C, God will provide for all of your needs.'
• But in the U.S., we convince ourselves that our "needs" are plenty. We don't live in a place where we only need food, clothing and drink which is really all that Jesus promised to provide if we sought first His Kingdom and His righteousness. (see Matthew 6:31-33) No, we convince ourselves we "need" smart phones, and iPads, and a new car every 3 years, and a home big enough so at minimum each person in the family has at least 500 square feet, and closets overflowing with clothes, and pantries overflowing with food, and lessons or sports for all of our children's "gifts", and 2+ hours spent on the latest movie, and meat at every meal. I admit it...I swallowed the sales pitch hook, line and sinker. I struggle now to backpedal and teach my children differently and embrace the counter-cultural change myself.
• I somehow believed all of the teaching that prevails in America that God will only allow you to be tested for a "season". But what if this is as good as it ever gets? I mean, do you just walk away from a marriage because you made the wrong choice...WAIT!...don't answer that one. God's plan was for you to say "No" to that question. Likewise, what if God's best for our family from this point forward is for us not to just defend the poor and downtrodden...but to be the poor and downtrodden. I mean who better to speak up for the deeply impoverished than someone that has come from "the other side", survived the downward mobility of it all and lived to tell about it? And has the education, wisdom, knowledge and discernment to boldly say, "Oh but Beloved, He never would want you to go through this miserable life of poverty somehow believing that you deserved it!"
• I also was suckered into the undercurrent of American Christianity that teaches "You reap what you sow." That sounds an awful lot like karma to me...and as Jesus followers aren't we supposed to be thriving in and loving the fact that we are not getting what we deserve? Isn't that grace? I mean if we're going to get what we deserve, then we're all going to Hell, right? Yes...there is a passage in Galatians 6:7-8 that alludes to this idea that what we sow, we will reap. I mean, I eat too much food, so I am overweight...but wait...there are people two times smaller than me that eat five times more than I do. So somehow I "deserved" to be born into a food-focused, sedentary family that passed down a slow metabolism that was developed over several generations? Hmmm? I don't know about you, but I can't honestly look at a woman in India that was sold into prostitution as a child and tell her she "deserved" it. That's what hinduism has already taught her. I also can't peer into the eyes of an African mother and tell her she "deserves" to watch her children starve because she was born 20 years ago into sub-Saharan Africa.

With all of this brewing and overflowing in my mind and heart, is it any wonder that I've been "Just Hanging On?" But here's some promises He's led me to in the last few weeks that I'm now hanging on to.

• God is unchangeable and even swore by Himself (because there's no one else God can swear by) that those who take refuge in Him can have encouragement to hope in Him. This should be the anchor of my soul instead of the American way of life. (see Hebrews 6:17-19)
• He reminded me of Beth Moore's teaching and how she emphasizes over and over again, that with His Sovereign hand upon my life, anything that He allows to come my way can be used for my good and His glory...anything. But I have to allow Him to show me. And even when I can't see any good in it. I can trust that...see bullet point above! A song we sang in church Sunday used the exact phrase, "for my good and His glory." Talk about reinforcement of an idea!
• He is with me always even until the end. (see Matthew 28:20)
• Nothing...not one blessed thing, can keep God's Love away from me. (Romans 8:38-39)
• He will not fail me or forsake me. (see Joshua 1:5)
• He won't even forget about me. (see Isaiah 49:15-16)
• And in what has already been a recurring prayer of mine and a more fervent one recently, I know that all of my emotional roller coaster begins in my brain...and I read my friend Christi's blog post about just that very thing today. (see Take Every Thought Captive) This is also a recurring Beth Moore theme.

What conclusions can I draw during this barren time of waiting? One...that I do think God is still molding and shaping us into a different direction. I hesitate to use the word, "squeezing" us into a different place, but that's sort of what it feels like. Two...that He's teaching me to appreciate the "little" (sometimes very little) blessings that come along the way: fresh, homegrown peaches from Dale's co-worker; our own tomato and cucumber plants finally producing a little each day; selling a few unused items and getting a little bit of money for them; time together as a family because we only have a few years until the nest begins to empty; and even a few more that will help cover the bills just exactly how we needed...no extra...but covered nonetheless. And the third and maybe most challenging...I think it's time to tell our story. I know...I have...ad nauseum...on this blog and in person with many others. But I don't seem to see too many books on the Christian bookstore shelves entitled Poverty Sucks! or I Hate Being Poor. This is just an idea that God is tossing around in my brain, but I do think there needs to be an honest voice somewhere in our Christian world that says, "not all Christians are rich and yet they live in an age of hunger...now what do we do with that?" I just know that this isn't a common message in many of the rich suburban churches I've attended.

So who knows? Only God does in fact. And I'm hanging on to Him and not letting go because He's my hope, my refuge, my anchor, my rock and my salvation and nobody is going to separate me from Him...nobody!

Mentioned in this post:

Pleading for the Widow

Here it is as promised in the previous post (see Isaiah 1) my conviction to "plead for the widow" (Isaiah 1:17). This is the list God was already laying on my heart before I even read this verse. And the image above is one I found online. It's an artist's interpretation of Jesus pleading...somehow I think it's appropriate since I know He lives to intercede for us before the Father and I know His Holy Spirit prays for us with words and groans that we cannot even express when we don't know how to pray. (see Romans 8:25-27) Please don't just read over this list...please plead to your Abba on behalf of these ladies who most often would never plead to us on their own behalf. Ask Him to lead you in how you should pray for each.

• Mom of one has court date 7/31 where she will most likely discover she will be receiving less child support. 
• Mom of one has begun looking for new apartment in the Florence, Burlington or Hebron areas. She needs rent to be $600 a month or less. Current lease is up in October.
• Mom of four has final court date for her divorce on 8/10. She and her children are moving to Florida 8/12. She needs peace from the stress and strain too.
• Our neighbor, a mom of two who has been unable to find a teaching position because she holds her master's degree and her boyfriend will probably lose his job with a small airline this fall.
• Mom of one has been feeling empty and bears heavy load of caring for her mother who has dementia also.
• Mom of one lost her usual summer part time job and has been experiencing financial difficulties as a result.
• Mom of three is getting married and moving to Wisconsin from the Northern Kentucky area.
• Mom of two moved to Arizona recently. Pray for them during this transitional time of adjustment.
• Mom of three experiencing financial strain has started a home-based business and looks for opportunities to earn money from home.
• Mom of one may be going back to school. Pray for wisdom about financial aid and college choices.
• Mom of three has experienced difficulty with son and his emotional strain. Pray for them as they head into the next school year.
• Mom of five, four still at home, has had several rocky years as she has attempted to leave an abusive and controlling husband, find her own employment (which she now has) and begin life without being dependent on her ex.
• Mom of four has had a difficult year and a half. She is self-employed and has previous asked for prayer regarding the finalization of her divorce and her ex-husband's plea bargaining process.
• Mom of one is expecting and has a rocky relationship with her boyfriend.
• Mom of a newborn, just born last week, needs physical recovery and rest. She will need much assistance in the days to come.
• Mom of four is expecting a child this fall. She has expressed a need for some baby furniture.
• Mom of two in Indiana is having severe financial difficulties and she cannot find a job in her chosen profession.
• Mom that is new to homeschooling will need peace as she juggles home, work and schooling responsibilities.
• Mom of three in Indiana has expressed concern over health issues recently.
• Mom in Indiana has son receiving college interest for playing basketball as he heads into his senior year. Pray for wisdom and God's leading.
• Mom of two lost her son through a violent act last year and as expected still grieves his loss.
• Nine other moms that we have loose affiliations with that are at varying places in their journey. Some still have children at home, but are also grandmothers or have children at the age where they're getting married. 
• All of the moms we know at one time or another have had custody or support disputes and regular issues with security...either financial, emotional or even physical.

Thank you for pleading for the widows of our society...the single moms and their families. Ask God to reveal to you the women in your life and circle of influence that also need someone to plead for them.

Amen!

"Got My Mind Set On You"

Last night, I shared with a friend that I've felt like I've been avoiding God. I started asking Him today, "Why?" I think there are a few reasons, but one has been this lesson of being at peace with complete dependence upon Him. What He's asking of me is so counter-cultural, so mind-boggling that I can't even begin to get my brain around it.

For an uber-analytical mind like mine...this has been driving me nuts. So, I've been avoiding Him because I didn't want to do the "work" to process with Him exactly what He is calling me to do. I know I sound vague, but I cannot put into words the thoughts I've had. They are so much higher than my finite thoughts that this is going to take a lot of time and patience and yes, even money, with and from God to sort it all out.

And if you've ever needed to believe that God must have a sense of humor...let me assure you...He does.

You see, this song...an old 80's throwback to my teen years...for the last year or so has occasionally "popped" into my head...often out of nowhere...when I've struggled to comprehend or just to process what God is saying or sharing with me. I cannot even begin to count how many times this has happened. I would only let myself repeat the line "I got my mind set on You" over and over again, because I didn't like the next line that says, "It's going to take money, a whole lot of spending money." I was content to recite the first phrase over and over again. It sort of became a way of "recalibrating" my brain back to focusing on God.

This morning as I turned again to Him and truly began to ask, "Why am I avoiding You?" "What are You asking of me?" "How do I begin to have peace in our circumstances, when I know the bottom line and You say, 'Don't worry...I've got your back!'" Ugh! It was excessively overwhelming and I was becoming exasperated with no answer.

But then...I felt led to open up Jesus Calling...and I was a few days behind (yep...that avoidance thing again!). In God's perfect timing, I read today what was scheduled for yesterday:

"For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace..." (Romans 8:6)

And once again, George Harrison and his 1980's hit began playing non-stop in my mind. You see, when I've "God my mind set on (Him)" there is life and peace! When I set it on the flesh or my earthly surroundings or my cultures demands...there is only death.

Just for kicks, I wanted to post the video from Youtube. It's cheesy...but all of the words are appropriate for today. It is going to take lots of money (from God), lots of time and lots of patience (from me) to "do it right". But if I've "Got my mind set" in the right place there will be "life and peace".

Amen!

And the Theme Continues...

This post could also be entitled, "You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up!" 

Yesterday, as I spent the day processing what God's Spirit was teaching me about depending upon His abundance as I focus on Becoming Heaven-Minded and all of the implications for what this shift in thinking means, I asked Him to lead me to a verse on my bathroom mirror that would be just what I needed. The first one my eyes landed on was a verse I don't even remember placing there. I don't remember the context of why I did it, but I now believe it must have been taped there many months ago for the single purpose of my seeing it yesterday.

"I will saturate the soul of the priests with abundance,

And My people will be satisfied with My goodness," declares the LORD."

(Jeremiah 31:14)

Through teary eyes, I read it again...amazed at exactly what God's Spirit is teaching me...but still too overwhelmed by it all to really process the depth of His meaning. What I gleaned in the moment though was another step in the direction of where He's leading..."Angela, all Christians are My priests to a lost and dying world. You have the desire to fulfill this God-given role. Believe that I will saturate your soul with not just enough...but an abundance to do it!"

Okay...I believe...God, forgive my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)

As I headed to my time alone with God this morning, I offered up this prayer: God, I need you to teach me specifically what You're trying to show me. I cannot get my brain around it...it's just too huge. It feels like You're showing me something I can't comprehend so I need you to show me.

Then I picked up Jesus Calling, and this is why I say above, "you just can't make this stuff up!"

"I, the Creator of the universe, am with you and for you. What more could you need?"

"I offer abundant Life; your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anything."

"Your thoughts close in on the problem like ravenous wolves. Determined to make things go your way, you forget that I am in charge of your life."  (the problem being not enough money to do all that I am passionate about doing for Him)

And finally the one that simply pierced me right through my soul:

"Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do. I am the Lord!"

Again, too overwhelmed to wrap my brain around what He was showing me, I wrote in my journal:

"Still processing. How do I live knowing You'll provide, moving forward expecting it to be there and expectantly anticipating that You'll come through?

How do You want us to move forward with Boundless Ministries? How do You want to lead? Where do You want us to go? Whom do You want us to serve?"

And I read again from Esther my cue card for the dilemma "It's tough being a women who feels responsible for the "how"!  Beth Moore's scripture reference to combat this is found in Psalm 103:14.

"For He Himself knows our frame;

He is mindful that we are but dust."

He knows I'm "but dust". He knows I can't figure out how we're going to financially do all that we want to do for Him...and that's okay...because He does!

Then I felt the Spirit's leading to write down just exactly what it is that I want to do...just for clarity...it helps me to process my thoughts. And as I asked Him to search my heart, of the five things that came out on paper...not one of them has anything in it for me other than I'd love to travel serving Him, meeting new people, sharing His Love with them. So yes, the travel is a benefit I would enjoy.

After pouring this out on paper and looking back over it with the Holy Spirit, I turned to the two scripture references for the day in Jesus Calling. The devotional had already spoken volumes, but with great anticipation and recognizing that a Romans 8 reference has to be jam-packed with goodness, I hurriedly turned to verses 31 and 32 expecting wonderful things...I was not disappointed.

Having just completed the Top Five list of my heart's desire, this is what I read:

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" (Romans 8:31-32, NASB)

My translation- 'Here's your list, Angela...so what can you say about those things? Your heart's desire is to do My will...you know I'm for that...so who can be against it? I didn't spare my Son for you...can you allow yourself to believe that I will freely give you all of these things? Believe it!'

With a grateful heart and teary eyes, I could finally begin to allow myself to drink in the saturating promise of thirsting no more for resources...it's already there...I just need to ask.

But wait...there was a second verse:

"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD;

I will wait for the God of my salvation.

My God will hear me." (Micah 7:7)

Do I ever need to wonder again if He'll provide the resources for my passion for serving Him? If I do, you have my permission to call me a faithless twit!

I don't think He could have spelled it out more plainly, but just so I would "get it", He spoke one more word to my heart. As I brushed my teeth and glanced in my mirror at the Jeremiah 31:14 scripture again, I heard Him lovingly say, "It's not about money, Angela. It was never about money. I have the money...the question is...do you have the faith?"

Amen!


Mentioned in this post:

Together

I've been chewing on this word a lot over the last few days and I thought I'd share what it's come to mean to me. I'm nearing the very end of my study of Esther and I'll be a little sad to see it go. I always feel melancholy about ending a Beth Moore study. I learn so much and experience a great deal of growth in a pretty short period of time, and I just long for that feeling to continue...every day.

Although the study is nearing the end, Moore's Spirit-inspired take on Scripture continues to speak right up to the last word. And the most significant word this week for me was "together".

I found this little treasure tucked away in a chapter I've read so many times, that when she referenced it in the reading and asked the reader to look it up, I immediately had it narrowed down to one or two very frequently quoted verses. It's in Romans 8, which for most Christians that have been studying the Bible for more than a few years, instantly conjures up many different verses that they can "hang their faith on", so to speak. Romans 8:28 is by far, one of the most touted, most shared, most quoted, most...abused even...scriptures there is. Yikes! Did I really just say abused? Afraid so.

Here's the verse as I read it a few days ago in my New American Standard Bible:

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

An amazing scripture, from an amazing God!

One of the first things we often fail to point out is this is a promise to Christians...Jesus-followers...those that claim the blood of the Messiah as their only way to having a relationship with God the Father...the Creator of us all. I cringe when people quote this to anyone and everyone. If someone is not in relationship with the Father, He can work things out for their good...but He doesn't promise it.

The next thing is the definition of "good". In America we tend to think in terms of wealth and prosperity...try telling that to a single mom in Africa or Asia. We personally lost everything financially a few years ago. By American standards, there is no "good" in our lives, but I can share countless "goods" that have come from that situation alone..."good" as God's Holy Spirit has defined it for me.

But, sadly I've heard this scripture shared most often to try to give an explanation to someone for the reason why they're experiencing great suffering, overwhelming tragedy or deep and severe pain and I know that becomes one of the many stumbling blocks why hurting people can't ultimately trust God. They think: "How can you say He is a good God if He thinks letting _________________(insert tragedy) happen to me is for my good."

Believe me...I've been there!

I'm sorry if I offend here...that is truly not my purpose...but how can we ever, honestly look at someone and say, 'Yes, divorce is good for you and your kids.'? In what universe is losing a baby or having one diagnosed with a chromosomal defect, or losing a parent to Alzheimer's, or losing your innocence as a child to abuse...a good thing??? Really? If you dare say that to the one in the middle of the swirling hurricane-force gale, you better duck quickly because if it were me...I might start throwing punches. [Just being honest!]

Then there's that word I've been chewing on...that word that Holy Spirit just hasn't let go out of my head...together. You see, I think what He's been trying to show me is that I will absolutely, without a doubt, drive myself C-R-A-Z-Y trying to find the proverbial "silver-lining" behind every rain cloud. I am not just analytical...I am hyper-analytical. I think very deeply and have even been told this is a bad thing. But God made me this way, right? And I have experienced some things in my life that in the moment and isolated by themselves had absolutely no good in them.

But...

taken together with, let's say...my personality...or my character...or my husband's wisdom...or my kids' laughter...or my sense of humor...or my experiences as a child...or my church background...or that sermon I heard 10 years ago...or a relationship that crossed my path for a moment, or a lifetime...or that other thing that happened a few years back...

and He...the ineffable One...the One who is so amazing we can't even come up with a word that can contain all that He is...

He takes a jagged edge from this piece and sets it next to the curve of that piece and lines it up with the plumb line of that piece and shaves off the extra from that piece and buffs the raggedness of that piece and fills in the empty spots with that piece and is constantly polishing all of the pieces so that...together...it is good.

I know a lot of hurting people right now and I, in turn, hurt for them when I hear comments from well-meaning people that are trying to put a positive spin on their pain. You know, maybe one of the best things we can say is, with honesty..."You know what ______________(insert tragedy) SUCKS! And I'm hurting for you. And I'm praying for you. And I do not want to make light of your pain, but don't drive yourself nuts trying to find something good in this. All you can really do, is pick up the pieces and carry them to the One that can put them all together and make something good from them. He's guaranteed you that if you're one who loves Him...He will do it! Hold Him to the promise! It's okay to tell Him He has to come through. He delights in His children staking their lives on one of His claims!"

You know what? His Son did too!

Hebrews 12:1-3

A Marked Woman

Have you ever felt like a moving target? I know I have. There have been times in my life where I felt like I must have a big, fat bulls eye painted right between my eyes, because the enemy's arrows were flying fast and furiously.

You can imagine my consternation and then relief to find out this wasn't just my melodramatic imagination running away with me. I actually do have a target on my head! Better still...if you're a Jesus-follower...you do too!

I first started pondering this I think a year or so ago. I believe it was in the Living Beyond Yourself Beth Moore Bible study that I heard her mention this. She was actually conveying the idea that we are "sealed" by the Holy Spirit when we place our faith in Jesus and claim Him as our Lord. Her biblical reference escapes me now, but she was trying to convey peace in knowing that you can never be possessed by demonic forces if you are a Jesus-follower, because they just can't get in.

It had to be this study, because I know when I repeated it a few months later, something occurred to me: "If the evil forces around me know that I'm sealed against them...then there must be a way...a sign...a symbol...that is recognizable to them. If that's the case...I'm a marked woman!"

Suddenly...it was as if the clouds parted, the stars aligned and the world finally made sense. Now I understood why so much had happened to us...why it seemed we could never "just get a break"...and what I had unleashed when for the last almost two decades I've told God time and again (with ever increasing levels of commitment) "No matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice, I will go wherever You lead and do whatever You want me to do!"

You see, that kind of talk is just crazy talk if you want to lead a nice, peaceful, "normal" life. But honestly, ever since I was a kid...I've wanted anything but "normal". I have a lot of passion, emotion, desire and life pent up in me and I guess somewhere inside of me I've always known I was meant for more than "normal".
Back to the idea at hand: a marked woman. When I first realized this, it also gave me great peace in knowing that either God has big plans for me (and our family) or we must already be at least in the proximity of the right path, because satan doesn't mess with his own. I'm not excusing any foibles we've committed along the way and I am the first to tell you that I'm so far away from perfect that it's not even in my sight lines. But I think there is something to this idea of not only experiencing great growth in your trials and God choosing to refine you when tragedy strikes, I think sometimes satan's also working overtime trying to bring down the ones that want to serve God first and foremost with their lives.

Then today in Beth Moore's study of Esther...joy of joys as she wrote again about this idea that we "are marked--even dressed--in ways obvious to both heaven and hell but invisible to man." She uses a references to Revelation 13:16-17 and Revelation 14:9-10 to propose the idea that what I grew up hearing called "The Mark of the Beast" is satan's counterfeit version of the true mark of God. This theory completely aligns with what I've just learned in Peterson's Reversed Thunder. Peterson points out that the antichrist and the false prophet are counterfeit versions of Jesus and even the dread number 666 is a knock-off of a complete 777....7 being often used in Scripture as a whole, complete or divine number.

When I read this today, I even jotted in the margin a note about phylacteries. According to dictionary.com a phylactery is 'either of two small, black, leather cubes containing a piece of parchment inscribed with verses 4–9 of Deut. 6, 13–21 of Deut. 11, and 1–16 of Ex. 13: one is attached with straps to the left arm and the other to the forehead during weekday morning prayers by Orthodox and Conservative Jewish men.' And I remembered the verse Deuteronomy 6:8, "Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." The "them" is the commandments of God.

Were the phylacteries just a forerunner of a spiritual mark that we would one day inherit when the Holy Spirit arrived to reside in any man or woman that bound themselves to Jesus Messiah? Hmmm?? It's worth considering. And I definitely see how "The Mark of the Beast" is a paltry counterfeit to the divine stamp of God. Growing up fearing the dreaded "mark" and even having nightmares about it, it amazes me to look back now and wonder at what point I lost that fear. Hallelujah! "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1)

I know this was lengthy...but thanks for hanging with me to the end. It might not even mean that much to you right now. I just pray that the next time your world is crashing down all around you, you can can look up and be confident that you imagination is not running away with you...you are in fact, a moving target! And your enemy will hurl absolutely every arrow in his quiver at you. So quit wondering why it's happening! Instead, Ephesians 6:16 tells us when this happens, don't walk, don't dally...run to take up your "shield of faith".

After all every good dragonslayer knows "You always go for the shield!"

Combing Out

Yesterday, I had a friend facing what could have been a very traumatic ordeal. I woke up with her on my mind and as I sat alone with the Holy Spirit, I kept praying for His peace to overtake her. What I read in Jesus Calling made me teary, because I knew He'd written it for my friend.

Problem is, she doesn't have a copy of the book. So I thought I'd post the quote on Facebook. Trouble with that was I knew she wouldn't have time to check FB before her day began. Holy Spirit said..."Text her". So I did.

It took three texts and that was only half of the message. It's such an amazing message for all of us that I feel compelled to share it here today:

"I speak to you from the depths of your being. Hear Me saying soothing words of Peace, assuring you of My Love. Do not listen to voices of accusation, for they are not from Me. I speak to you in lovetones, lifting you up. My Spirit convicts cleanly, without crushing words of shame. Let the Spirit take charge of your mind, combing out tangles of deception. Be transformed by the truth that I live within you.
The Light of My Presence is shining upon you, in benedictions of Peace. Let My Light shine in you; don't dim it with worries or fears. Holiness is letting Me live through you. Since I dwell in you, you are fully equipped to be holy. Pause before responding to people or situations, giving My Spirit space to act through you. Hasty words and actions leave no room for Me; this is atheistic living. I want to inhabit all your moments--gracing your thoughts, words, and behavior."
Romans 8:1-2
Colossians 1:27
I Corinthians 6:19

Combing out. What a great visual reminder to me of just how easily I get caught up in the seemingly tiny deceptions that satan sets out to trap me. "Voices of accusation", "shame", "deceptions", "hasty words and actions", "no room for (Him)" and "atheistic living" can describe any number of arrows hurled at me or from me throughout a typical day.

We were made for more than that, weren't we? Absolutely!

But God never promised it would be easy, did He? And I love this idea of letting Him comb out the deceptions. I have three daughters...I've done my fair share of detangling hair. I even have one that has a very sensitive head, although they've all done their fair share of jumping, yelling "OUCH!", crying, pleading with me to "STOP!!!!" and a few times just getting up and running out of the room to avoid the inevitable untangling that needed to be done.

Metaphorically (& sometimes literally!), don't we do the same thing to God when He attempts to untangle the deceptions that are comfortable to us? Honestly? I have. I'm guessing that we've all yelled "Enough!", "STOP!!!!" and even run away when He's tried to gently and tenderly comb out the tangled knot of deception.

Deception is where we're comfortable right? Think about it. If you've had the opportunity to come face-to-face with the dysfunction in your family, the arrogance and pride you've hidden behind, the cloud of doom, shame, blame or guilt surrounding you and actually had the courage to deal with it...you know what I mean. It's tough work!

But if you've ever had the pleasure of combing through your child's tangles...no matter the tears, the screams, the pain, the stress, the length of time...when that shimmering, smooth, soft, beautiful hair cascades freely down over their shoulders...you realize it was worth it all.

As one who had to face her family's and her own dysfunction, as one who has dealt with my own guilt, shame, pain, arrogance, pride, judgment, deceit, pretension, etc., etc. etc. I can wholeheartedly and honestly disclose to you a secret that your enemy does not ever want you to know...every tear, every pain, every minute of sitting still while He combed out the tangles was worth it all!  The free flowing beauty and awareness of His love, mercy and compassion far out pays anything I had to endure.

One more thought...He can't comb out and detangle a moving target. If you're on the run, He will chase you...but He can't do the work until you sit still. Maybe take a lesson from my 11 year old, Rebekah...the sensitive-headed child. You see, she learned a few years ago that if she read a book while I combed out her hair, the distraction lessened the pain.

If you have some tangles of deception that need combed out, my best advice would be quit running, pull up a chair and grab His Book. Start reading and let Him distract you from the pain with His Love.

Renewing Your Mind

This morning in Jesus Calling, I read a few things I've heard before...but on the first day of the year, it's good to be reminded:

• Have a teachable spirit, be eager to be changed
• Walking closely with God is a life of continual "newness"
• Seek His face with an open mind

And then a Scripture reference that I immediately recognized, Romans 12:2. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

Because of the familiarity of the verse, I thought I'd pick it apart a little...looking up some definitions on dictionary.com and using the other meanings of words in my Bible (which is an NASB translation). Here's what I came away with and to be honest, I was excited to see the possibilities of where this will lead me over the next year and even the rest of my life! [Bold words are from my Bible. Parentheses are from dictionary.com.]

"And do not (act in accord with prevailing standards, practices, attitudes of) this age, but be (changed in nature, character, appearance; metamorphose) by the (replenishing) of your mind, so that you may (establish the truth or genuineness of) the will of God, that which is good and (pleasing to the receiver) and (excellent and complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement)."

That's a mouthful! But what does it say to you? I don't claim that these are from the original Greek or anything scholarly. It's just that sometimes for me...to insert synonyms or phrases that explain the verse in more detail helps me look at it like it's the first time I've ever read it.

If you've gone through some of my posts recently, you'll know I've been reading Gregory Boyd's Repenting of Religion. In it, he makes the case that God's perfect will is for us to love Him and others with the same perfect love He has for us. If you keep that in mind as you read through this verse again...knowing throughout the entire reading that God's perfect will is for us is to live in His Love and share it with others...now...what does it say to you?

What is says to me is life-changing! Actually, it's the path He's had me on my entire life...sometimes I'm just paying attention better. Here's the gist though:

'Angela, if you truly want to experience My will for your life...you have to live in My Love. You have to allow yourself to be loved by Me with an unsurpassable (boundless!) Love. And you won't be able to stop yourself from passing this same Love on to others and it will be pleasing to them to receive it because you can't improve upon it...it's absolutely complete! But the only way you will be able to be truthful and genuine in living out My will...My Love...is to allow Me to completely revamp your way of thinking. You cannot live according to the standards, practices, appearance of this age! It's just impossible to do so and live out My perfect will. So this isn't going to be easy, dear one. In fact, you need to let Me go so far as to do a complete metamorphosis. And it's going to be vastly different from anything around you in this culture. If you're ready...I've been waiting! Today...this first day of the year...let's start a new leg of the journey. Together you and I are going to peel away the scales of deception from your eyes and you're going to see My Love for what it truly is...Perfect!'

Amen! Bring it on!