I Am Annoyed with Jen Hatmaker

Many, many months ago, my friend shared that she wanted to start a book club using Jen Hatmaker's book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. I signed up without having read the book and smugly knowing that God's Spirit has already been working in me in regards to the prevalent excess of our U.S. culture. I am downright radical compared to many. It's easy to live with less when you have less to live with, right?

I can honestly say that I have not judged anyone or their comments. I am mature enough in my faith to know that we are all in different places in our Journey and I don't believe anyone needs to live out their spiritual life exactly like mine. Thus, my smugness has never been geared toward anyone else, just a tool to make myself feel better. 

And I was quite content.

Until last Monday when I read the chapter on spending.

Somehow, I knew this chapter was going to get touchy for me. I mean, the chapter about media was hard enough, given my addiction to all forms of media, but that is my struggle and I can quickly convince myself that it harms no one else. (Yes, I am greatly deceived!) But spending affects many more than just little ol' me. My comfort and convenience exact a toll on the poor, marginalized and needy in my culture and around the world. This is not a new concept for me and one that God has been refining in me for many years now.

I readily highlighted shareable quotes like, "While it is easy to become paralyzed by the world's suffering and the inequalities created by corruption and greed, we actually hold immense power for change, simply by virtue of our wealth and economic independence."

That's good stuff. This truth is reflected in my desire to buy Fair Trade, spend less and tip big. We sponsor an impoverished family in Ethiopia; help the homeless as much as God allows; buy a lot of organic, sustainable and ethically harvested food; and although recycling in an apartment is very difficult, we attempt to Reduce, Reuse and Recycle as much as possible. I can certainly pat myself on the back at how God has changed and molded me to be more in His image.

But then Hatmaker had to go and mess with a good thing. Almost a week later, I'm still a little annoyed with her to be honest. I mean what do you do with this?

"We don't see the New Testament church hoarding the feast for themselves, gorging, getting fatter and fatter and asking for more; [Amen...preach it Jen!] more Bible studies, [Huh?] more sermons, more programs, classes, [What the?] training, conferences, [Now...hold on one stinkin' minute!] information, more feasting for us."

When I read that, my first thought was: Jen Hatmaker, I don't think I like you right now.

Oh...but she continued to accuse me (or at least the Church, of which I am part) of ceasing to live the Bible and instead "just to study it". She drew some correlations between a buffet and my spiritual life that I won't even repeat here...it is just that crazy! There's also a plethora of my, my, my, my, my's in there that would make any 2 year old toy-fighting tantrum seem downright cute.

So what did I do? Well...I quickly skimmed through to the next section telling myself I'd come back to this disturbing portion when the time was right. Frankly, I got a little angry with this eccentric woman and her little rant about my feasting.

Six days later, and three attempts to read it again and I am still annoyed. How could she be all funny and authentic about her own failings and then start to point out mine? I feel like she set me up. But the truth is...she called me out.

Or rather, the Holy Spirit did. 

And He's not finished.

There's a lesson in all of this, and I'm still sorting out what it is. One thing I know is to stop being smug with myself about how God has changed me. Hah! Just when I think I'm making some progress, He reminds me that humility is always a good thing.

Another thing I just can't shake free of is this question that the Spirit is still formulating in my heart and mind: In the same way that when I spend limited money and resources on my own comfort and pleasure, it leaves less for the underprivileged and marginalized of our world...how does spending my finite energy and time on filling up my own spiritual "tank" keep me from filling up someone else's? Okay, I can't quite figure out the most eloquent way to verbalize this yet, but there it is. 

God's Spirit has already been awakening me to the gifts, talents and the Vision He has for me. He has not brought me through so many trials and so much pain simply for me to hoard the gift of His wisdom and discernment for myself. There are literally billions who do not know this amazing God or His Son, my Savior, nor the power of the Holy Spirit that He jealously desires to have reside inside them. 

How can I keep pulling myself up to the table and not actively extend an offer for them to join me? I still don't know how this will all play out. But I do know that it wouldn't irritate me this much unless the Spirit had a way to work it out in me and through me to share with others.

So thanks a lot Jen Hatmaker [yes, sarcasm is intentional!]. You've sort of messed up my Bible study feasting, and to be honest, I'm not very happy about it. It was much easier to blindly pull up to the table and pour on another heap of self-serving discipleship.

Okay, Holy Spirit...

now what?

An Ault Park Sunrise- Cincinnati, Ohio

Last year, my Birthday Twin suggested we have a sunrise picnic. We had a wonderful view of the city from Devou Park in Covington. But I didn't take any photos.

This year when she suggested a similar adventure to Ault Park in Cincinnati, I came armed with my camera...and God did not disappoint. Kari quickly pointed out how amazing it is for God to begin and end each day with such wonderful beauty. 

That gives us a little clue to His character and His heart, doesn't it?

The weather was perfect. The view breathtaking and conversation, as always, uplifting and satisfying.

To be honest, I came home a little tired and needed a nap later in the afternoon. Naps rarely happen anymore. I couldn't quite put my finger on what was so draining.

Sure, I'd gotten up before Dawn. And yes, I'd even had some restless sleeping the night before. Neither of these are strangers to me though. 

No, yesterday as the conversation turned toward big changes coming up for our family and I reflected upon the beauty I'd seen that morning and the Beauty of a God who lifts us up where we are, breaks the cycle of sin we've been handed down from the generations before us, and leads us and our children to passionately run toward the True Beauty He has for each of us...it was more than my little heart could process and it simply Wore. Me. Out.

But with the much-needed nap, I felt Him whispering, "It's okay, Precious Child, rest...rest...it may be all too wonderful for you to take in now...but that's okay...I'll be here again tomorrow...painting another masterpiece. If you can't receive it all tomorrow...no problem...I'll be here the next day...painting again...and again...and again..."

The Insanity of God by Nik Ripken: A Book Review

I've been thinking a lot about the persecution of the Church lately. Syria, Iraq, Pastor Saeed Abedini, reports out of North Korea and this book have all combined to illuminate my soul to the undeniable conclusion that evil, persecution of the Church and God's covering mercy are all alive and active in our physical world.

But that's where I keep getting tripped up:  this physical world. 

You see, there is more...so much more than we can ever see or imagine. There are very real spiritual forces of darkness and Light in this world and there is a very real war being waged for which team we will choose to align our souls with. In places I will never see, and in lives I will not know until I meet them in Heaven, there is daily suffering, persecution and death taking place.

All of this begs me to ask the question: Why not here?

Ripken (a pseudonym for the author) asks the same question. I don't want to spoil his conclusion, but I think if we search our hearts and our culture with the discernment of the Holy Spirit, we'll find the same answer.

Why would our Enemy mess with a good thing?

We in the West are asleep to the power of the Holy Spirit within us, and our Enemy knows it. The phrase that keeps coming to mind is waking a sleeping giant. Why would our Enemy, that is perfectly content with our complacency, awaken us to the resurrection power of Christ within us, when he (Satan) can accomplish much more by keep us pacified with our phones, activities, social media, dining out, shopping, and whatever else we spend our time and resources on instead of saving souls for the Kingdom of the One that saved us?

Scary thoughts, right?

Believe me. This book has not been a joy ride...but one I very much needed to remind me of exactly what is at stake. Is it easy to sacrifice? No. Is it comfortable to intercede for others? No. Is it tangibly rewarding to be vulnerable and "different" than others you know. No. Do I care what others think? Yes...far too much.

Here's what I just can not get around:

• I have too much stuff.
• I have too many gifts and talents not being used extensively.
• I have too many friends, neighbors and fellow church-goers that also have not awakened to the God who jealously wants His Holy Spirit to come alive in them.

When Chinese Christians will commit to arising an hour earlier to pray for their Middle Eastern brothers and sisters in Christ whose suffering they view to be even worse than their own imprisonments, how...how can I grimace at the mere thought of losing a little sleep to spend some time in prayer for those I know and love?

What I am about to pray is a very risky thing. I recognize exactly what I am asking and that the only way to achieve it is for trials and sufferings to come. As Ripken points out, "Suffering is one of God's ordained means for the growth of his church." He wisely adds later, "[Believers] know that following Jesus, in so many ways, actually increases suffering instead of lessening it. But they also know that Jesus is better than all the pleasures, possessions, and pursuits of this world put together."

Here is my prayer:

Wake the sleeping giant, Lord! Wake us up! May Your Holy Fire ignite our very souls and the possessions and pastimes with which we have numbed ourselves fall away and pale in comparison with the joy of abiding in Your Presence.

Do you long to be fully alive to the Spirit? Do you believe, as Augustine is credited with saying, "The glory of God is man fully alive"? Do you desire a closeness with the Spirit that is indescribable?

Awaken and arise to the One that is miraculously at work in our world. Embrace the sufferings of His servants as our own and delight in nothing more than Him.

I'm ready. I want so much more than this culture has convinced me I should be content with. Don't you?

A Million Little Ways by Emily P. Freeman: A Book Review

I don't really know if I can give this book a "final" review. I've been taking small doses of Emily Freeman's life-affirming words since December. Sometimes all I could process was a paragraph or two. You're probably tired of reading about all the lessons I've learned along the way. [If not, go back over these four posts: Living the Vision, part 5, Pride, Making Mediocre Art, and yesterday's Back to the Playground]

There is no better assessment I can give than when an author's words linger of my heart, my mind and even my soul for hours and days at a time. The next highest praise I can give is that I know it will be a book I return to time and time again. Lastly, I know it's a book I will pass along and possibly even purchase copies to give to other women I know. 

It is not a book only for women, I just happen to know a lot of women who are asking if their life matters. Our Enemy knows that to keep us paralyzed, we must see our God-given gifts as futile, unappreciated or underwhelming. Knowing his strategy, a book like Freeman's is dangerous in the hands of a Beloved Seeker ready to explode with God's art being lived out in her life.

You matter.

You art (being a wife, mother, caregiver, baker, teacher, nurse, engineer, author, etc.) matters.

No one in all of space and time was ever pieced together by the hand of God exactly like you.

You are loved.

Now we just need to live like it!

Amen!

Back To the Playground

Do you ever get to a place in your Journey when you think you've settled something unattractive in your life, packed it away, shipped it off to God's sea of forgetfulness, only to have it rear its ugly, green-eyed, scaly-horned head again in the most unlikely place?

Such was a bit of my morning yesterday.

It was no one's fault but my own insecurities and my Enemy's adept ability to know my weaknesses. I take full responsibility for letting him have a toehold. 24 hours later, I'm thankful to be humbled, but really never want it to happen again.

It's been just under two years since I wrote about how grateful I was that God chooses us because of our weaknesses. Yet, yesterday I felt like the fat kid on the playground again who just wants more than anything to not be the last one chosen. 

We will be leading a Lifegroup this fall and I'm also part of a reconfiguring of small group leaders on our Bible study morning. Both of these have been prayed for, prayed through, led entirely by the Holy Spirit and are amazing, wonderful blessings as to how He has worked them out every step of the way. His hand has been obvious, comforting and there is not one negative in regards to either.

It's me.

I confess. It's me.

I am apparently still that 10 year old girl, insecure and afraid of not being chosen. I will add that I was completely disregarding that no one was signing up for the other two Lifegroups represented either. Apparently, I'm still ego-centric enough to not care about that part of the tale...but I did later take some comfort when Holy Spirit (and my husband) brought this to my attention.

Okay, so now you know just how pitiful I am. Let me give you the wonderful way Holy Spirit turned this around (of course He did!) for me just a short time later and has still been working it out in me on this beautiful morning. 

First He reminded me of that blog post I referenced above. God chose me because of my weaknesses, in spite of them, and because then He can demonstrate His power more perfectly! My weaknesses also shine a massive spot light on just how needy I stand in His Presence.

That's beautiful right there.

But...in case there was any lingering doubt...this morning I read in A Million Little Ways: Uncover the Art You Were Made to Live

"Sometimes don't we just want to be picked? It's true God picks me. But there is sometimes a disconnect for me between God picking me as a child he loves and God empowering me to make an impact in the world around me.

Seth Godin hosted a day gathering in Tribecca last summer and it had a simple, two-word theme for attendees. Pick Yourself.

"Once you understand that there are problems just waiting to be solved, once you realize that you have all the tools and all the permission you need, then opportunities to contribute abound. No one is going to pick you. Pick yourself."

It's an important message to me. Because even though I know my identity as a believer is solid in Christ, if I don't decide to believe it for myself, then it won't impact the way I love, the way I live, or the way I work. I may be able to be effective and even successful in the world's eyes but until I pick myself, I'm not sure I will be truly making art with my life.

When I filter that statement through the reality of my life in Christ, it becomes even more powerful. Have I been given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind? Am I an image bearer? Do I have a job to do? Then what else could I possibly be waiting for?"

In the past, I have often been paralyzed by my insecurity of not being "picked", my fear of not being useful and living a wasted life and my ever-present self-talk of "why would anyone want to hear what I have to say?" I can't live in the Land of Self-Pity though...I need to be about my Father's business.

I am not surprised at the timing of these battles because my Enemy has pulled out all the stops. Holy Spirit has been leading my thoughts and desires into new, unexplored territories and it's going to be a roller coaster of emotions, scheduling, focus and determination. But I know I have a God that simply wants me to say "Yes!" when He calls. The results are left up to Him.

As I keep saying my timid and terrified yeses, my Enemy is ramping up his tactical arsenal of obliteration. I am not surprised by this, just confounded at how easily I slip and skin my knee on the asphalt of my playground nightmare. How do I keep from slipping on the same well-worn patch of fears and regrets? 

I already have my "team" of praying friends surrounding me on one project and I'm getting ready to gather up a new "team" for the next one. It's also no coincidence that right before heading into uncharted waters, God's Spirit called me to a committed time of prayer each morning. If you, reading this post, want to pray for my focus, obedience and listening to the Spirit's leading too, I would not turn down that amazing gift...ever. 

Mark Batterson writes that as we intercede for others, we need people interceding for us. I have humbly acknowledged that I can't intercede, write or do anything else without people I know and love praying for me. The same goes for you. 

So gather your "team". Sign them up to pray as you seek the discernment of the Spirit and break loose of the chains our Enemy uses to bind us and keep us quiet. My God is faithful and true. He is leading an all-out assault on the Gates of Hades and I need to stop sitting on the bench and waiting for someone to pick me.

I pick myself.

And...

I pick you!

Join my team (which is actually God's team!) and together we will find the Voice God gave us, the mission He has prepared for us, and the unending joy of a life well-lived for His glory.

Amen!

Natural Bridge State Resort Park, Slade, Kentucky

For the last few birthdays and Mother's Days, I've been breaking from our family tradition of "going out" to a restaurant and trying to be more creative and intentional about doing something I really want to do. Today is my birthday. And since my husband's only day off is Sunday, and yesterday was the last free Sunday for our family before Abbey leaves...I decided that my goal for the summer to start hiking/walking more had been delayed long enough.

The whole day was an adventure...from the check engine light coming on in the van, to hauling my out-of-shape body up the steep incline, to the amazing view we beheld once we were there, the very wet descent back to the bottom and the van not starting as we headed home and the final, "If anyone has to go on the way home...you'll have to hold it in, because we are not stopping this van!"...I would not have traded one single moment of it!

God is amazing and I know He prompted my desire to see this park together for the first time. Four of us have been there previously, and as one final send-off-of-fun, He granted us this wonderful day.

The weather forecast was sketchy and the hiccup of a check engine light could have scared us into staying home, but Dale and I were both a little unusually risky and threw caution out the window before we headed south on the two hour drive. 

After an uneventful drive, we arrived to hot, humid conditions and a nearly empty park. It was overcast and without breeze until we reached Natural Bridge. We had to stop for the old folks (mostly me!), a couple of times, but the effort was more than rewarded.

Both times I've seen this, I cannot believe it's Kentucky.

I came away inspired to explore my adopted home state more. She really is gorgeous.

Our kids are not used to simply sitting and enjoying nature, so we had a few that were antsy to start the climb down. We lingered as long as we could, but when we saw storm clouds moving in, we began the trip back.

We stopped a few places on the journey down to goof off and attempt to take some dry photos. As one wanted us to hurry up, and one was frustrated over the rainy hike and they all got tired of hearing their mother exclaim, "Be careful! It's slippery!" I recalled that three of the most exciting adventures I've ever had with these kids have been when we were caught out in the rain. There's something rejuvenating and yet relaxing about a rainstorm. God nourishes the Earth, which in turn does it's part to feed and care for us. I'm not trying to wax philosophical, it was just a good old-fashioned walk in the rain. It reinforced my desire though to stop living my life hidden away in our home and to get out and live the Adventure!

When we were very wet, sticky and sweaty, we found this wonderfully, cool cave.

Embrace the Surprises!

This is a pepper plant. 

I would ordinarily not reflect too deeply upon such a seemingly insignificant thing as a pepper plant, let alone write a blog post about it. But this plant has surprised me and it's given me pause to consider how God continually surprises us.

To look at it, you wouldn't know that this plant was a "runt". Several plants didn't sprout when I first attempted to grow them and then, by the time the seed was restarted and they began their climb out of the depths of the soil, I was in full blown planting season on my patio garden and with my two friends whom I have helped. There was not an extra pot or plot to be found. So a few of my tiny pepper plants that didn't make it my friend's house just sat in seedling pots, waiting for a home.

No one claimed them. So they waited. They stayed small and frail, unable to take extended doses of hot, brilliant sunlight and they needed just a little extra babying. 

My early pepper plants held great promise as they grew and grew. Before long, buds and then blooms formed. Within a matter of weeks it seemed the fruit was growing well. 

My "runts" finally made their way into vacant pots or emptied potato bags (cloth grocery sacks) by late June. The bags were a last ditch effort. They'd seen better days and the potatoes had been pretty rough on them. The seams and stitches were starting to give. I didn't hold out much hope for the pepper to survive, let alone thrive. With an attitude of "what can it hurt?" they began their journey in the footsteps of a plant that had used up all the nutrients and messed up their surroundings. I attempted to nurture them with nutrients, water, and even occasional conversation or song.

And then something happened.

It seems that as soon as the calendar dictated that it was now officially Summer, the waterworks began. It has been one of the wettest summers that I can recall in the last five or six years. There's not a lot of space on my patio so airflow is at a premium and soggy pots from too much of a good thing help no one. My early peppers that had held so much promise were staying thin-branched and turning a sickly pale green. Their fruit was small and not turning the vivid yellow I had hoped to harvest.  

But the "runt" began to grow.

Something was happening inside that roomy, cloth bag with it's splitting side seams. Whether the roots found their calling or the ample drainage provided the "oomph", that baby began to grow.

She's as high as my waist now, with the thickest stalk on a California Wonder bell pepper plant I have ever seen. She also has about 8 beautiful fruits of varying sizes soaking up the sunshine and fulfilling their destinies. And when they're gone, her work won't be over as the blooms-for-the-moment turn into their own unique fruit.

Am I any different from the "runt" who got into the game a little later than everyone else? To the casual observer, her exterior is pretty shabby, well-worn and doesn't look very promising...but her roots evidently run deep. Even her fruit is not her own as she is utterly dependent on a God who sends the sun and the rain. Sure, she's needs others to give her some nutrients from time to time, but even that does not come from them.

As I marvel at God's Creation, it always gives me pause at how He never wastes anything. The lessons I learn while pruning a plant, spreading the composted nutrients, watching a seed burst through the soil or smiling as a "runt" spreads her wings, always awes and amazes me. I am saddened by the thought of people missing these blessed moments as they become further and further removed from their food source, nature and the God who created it all for His good pleasure. He is such a giving God that what delights Him, He shares with us...and I pray I am always surprised by it.

**Not to be outdone by my feeble words...three sentences ago, He asked my first hummingbird to stop by my nasturtium and Wow me!**

Salsa Verde

"Waste not, want not."

I am certain that phrase can originally be credited to a farmer. [Don't spoil my illusion by googling it.] I simply know that there are times when a gardener has enough tomatoes, hot peppers, onions and such to overwhelm the most savvy of all fresh-food connoisseurs. To be honest, there are also some days when the harvest is plentiful and the workers are few that the thought of blanching just one more vegetable and packing it into the freezer may actually cause mental duress.

I am grateful though. Absolutely grateful. 

The harvest has been abundant enough to share. Although it seems there is either not enough rain or far too much (as evidenced by the beautiful, non-edible mushrooms growing in my pots!)...

and because of the extreme wetness and the cramped quarters on my patio, some of my plants haven't fared well. Spending two plus hours in the hot, sticky sun today pulling up old plants, amending soil for planting new ones and pruning the non-productive tomato, cucumber and lima bean vines was I felt, enough of an accomplishment for the day.

A quick walk through the kitchen verified that my work was not done.

What to you do with tomatoes that won't ripen or were knocked off the vine during your pruning endeavors? You make salsa verde of course!

I don't have an actual recipe. I am certain there are plenty available with a quick internet search. I just tossed in the same things I would to make my yummy fresh salsa:

• tomatoes
• hot pepper
•  a little lime juice
• one minced garlic clove
• some chopped onion
• a little sea salt

No measurements, just yummy goodness. 

But, this salsa must be cooked. So it all went into a pot, I put the lid on, turned it onto medium heat, and stirred it every few minutes. Once it cooked down and everything was softened, I turned off the heat, took off the lid and threw in some chopped cilantro. [Don't miss the cilantro!]

Taste it. Does it need more salt, garlic, lime juice or cilantro? No problem. Just add a little more.

The unpredictability of a garden explosion with one vegetable and an absolute dearth of another, warrants some creativity each year. Almost two decades ago, Dale bought a book for me that has been priceless for this very reason.

Marian K. Townes' A Midwest Gardener's Cookbook  provides multiple recipes listed first by season of harvest and then by specific midwestern grown vegetables. Have more eggplants than you could ever use or give away? Just look under summer and alphabetically you'll find several uses for your bountiful harvest. [I know you can now do the same thing on Pinterest. I still like my book though.]

Whatever the answer...eating as much as you can, sharing the wealth, giving it to a food bank, utilizing the ingredients of creative recipes, freezing, canning or dehydrating...it all makes for a very busy gardening season.

**Question to self: Did I really mean it when I said I wanted to garden year round?**

How Long, O Lord?

Contemplating the state of things around the world, I could very quickly become depressed. The persecution of Christians and other religious minorities in Iraq has been weighing heavily upon me. I feel bombarded and inundated with not only this grievous situation, but I know too many people struggling with cancer, chemo, Alzheimer's, divisive families and the derision from ex-spouses.

God is giving me a new-to-me perspective toward the persecution of His holy ones...His saints. Thanks to books like A Passport Through Darkeness, Captive in Iran and The Insanity of God, which I am currently reading, my eyes have not only been opened to what my brothers and sisters in Christ are facing daily...but God's Spirit is opening up a whole new prayer-world to me interceding for them when I see the news reports or He brings a person or place to mind.

Over the last several days as the horrendous reports of beheadings, torture and starvation of children and adults alike have been coming out of Iraq, there is one phrase that has been churning over and over again in my mind...

"How long, O Lord? How long?"

I knew this was found in the book of Revelation, but it took me a couple of days to locate it exactly. I wanted to read the context of this verse before I wrote this post. Somehow I knew when I read the passage, God's Spirit would provide peace for my questions. Do I have an answer to the burning question, How long?

Not exactly. But here's what I found:

"When the Lamb (Jesus) broke the fifth seal, I saw underneath the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God, and because of the testimony which they had maintained; and they cried out with a loud voice, saying, "How long, O Lord, holy and true, will You refrain from judging and avenging our blood on those who dwell on the earth?" And there was given to each of them a white robe; and they were told that they should rest for a little while longer, until the number of their fellow servants and their brethren who were to be killed even as they had been, would be completed also." (Revelation 6:9-11)

I am not a seminary-trained Bible scholar. I will not pretend to understand seals, trumpets, signs vs. poetry or any other debate this could devolve into. But, here's what I know based on this passage:

• There are a certain number of faithful Jesus followers who will lose their lives for maintaining their faith in Christ.
• Thus, as long as there are still people dying for the Name of Jesus, that number has not yet been fulfilled.
• One day, the number will be reached.
• Those who have already died for their faith, have been given a white robe and told that for now, they can rest from their toil.
• One day, the spilling of their blood will be judged and avenged.

Why does this bring me some measure of comfort? Because I know that one day all of this will end. I also know that when I see the lifeless body of a decapitated child or a group of dead children who fled into the mountains without food or water...their purified souls have been told to "rest for a little while longer". Their toil, sadness, suffering and despair are over.

Not only does the thought of their rest bring peace to my soul and praise for God to my lips, such sacrifice puts into very harsh perspective my "need" to run to the grocery store just because I don't have the type of salad dressing I want on hand.

Ouch.

I will say it again and again until every fiber of my being gets the Message...

It is time for hard and holy things!

She's Ready to Fly

Almost two years ago, Holy Spirit gave me a very clear vision of one day watching our daughter, Abbey, walking down an airplane terminal as she headed off to serve God. I didn't know where. I didn't know when. I just knew as certain as my soul belonged to Jesus, that it would happen. I even saw myself weeping...not out of fear or grief...but in awe,  praise, and wonder at a God who allows us humans the privilege of participating in His Kingdom work. 

When I had this vision, I barely knew of Shane Claiborne and had not read his life-changing book. I did not know that you could visit The Simple Way in Philadelphia, a place that Shane and his friends started right out of college. I did not know they had a Hospitality House where you could stay in the neighborhood where TSW seeks justice for the poor, serves the widow and the orphan, and loves "the least of these". 

When the Spirit gave me this vision, I did not know that while researching this trip to Philadelphia and The Simple Way, that they would recommend a group called Mission Year that seeks justice for the poor while living simply and in intentional community amidst some of the toughest neighborhoods in some of our biggest U.S. cities.

I had no clue when I first learned of Mission Year, that less than a month later, I would have breakfast with one of the men who created Mission Year, Bart Campolo. I also didn't know how that unexpectedly insightful conversation would refine not only my mission, but how our entire family approaches ministry and mission.

When the vision began, I could not possibly know that my "Abbey, you should check them (Mission Year) out", would fan the flames of an 18 year old's desire to serve Jesus, love people in His Name and serve in intentional community with other young adults who want to live out the Gospel with hands and feet on broken pavement in our deeply impoverished urban environments.

I could not have known then, the blessing of watching the Beauty of God at work...seeing Abbey struggle through her fears, her doubts, her concerns if she could live up to the commitment...and watching His grace and Love wash over her again and again.

I did not know then that when she pushed that "Submit" button and committed the next year and a half of her life to raising awareness,  fundraising, and fulfilling that mission year that she would be assigned to live in Houston, Texas beginning on September 5th.

I did not know nearly two years ago that the phrase "She's ready to fly" would play over and over in my mind...almost unconsciously at times...never making the connection.

And how could I know, that as we plotted and planned how we would rent a car and drive her to Atlanta for training, Mission Year would specifically ask that she fly to begin her journey when the day finally arrives.

When the reality of how God had orchestrated all of these events to call a young woman into His Kingdom work caught up with my awareness, I could not help but tear up at His compassion, His mercy, and His grace. I know He gave me that vision so that I could boldly accept His will for Abbey and release her into His care and His provision when the time was upon us.

I know we aren't always given such amazing clarity with every choice laid before us. I guess I'm not only thankful for when He does give it...I'm at a place where having experienced this, I know I can trust Him the next time He does. 

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If you'd like to follow Abbey's Mission Year to Houston, Texas, you can find her blog at

nonetensnaresme.wordpress.com

The "Hard and Holy Things"

I do not regularly read Ann Voskamp's blog, but today as I was flipping through Twitter, blogs and anything I could find to try to make sense of what is happening in Mosul, Iraq, I came across this quote by her, 

"...because the world has enough women who know how to do their hair--the world needs women to do hard and holy things."--Ann Voskamp

I know nothing about this quote, other than as it was Tweeted. What I do know is that for some time, God's Holy Spirit has been drawing me toward these "hard and holy things", and because of fear (being "different"; perceived as "radical"; what comfort I may be asked to give up), I have not been listening. He and I have been working through this though and the post you are currently reading is a nudging from Him that this is a "hard and holy thing".

With great effort I attempt to keep myself from political commentary. I believe God needs no earthly kingdom to accomplish the work of His Kingdom. When I speak out against the treatment of the marginalized of our society, it is because He has laid the message on my soul. I am not a mouthpiece for any political agenda. Even when I write book or movie reviews, discuss gardening or the latest locally owned business we've found, it's because I truly want us to get back to becoming the people God created us to be. 

I look for Him in everything.

I would love to only share with you my latest recipe or my new favorite book. That's the easy stuff. But the cold, stark reality is that we live in an evil world, controlled by the "ruler of the kingdom of the air." (see Ephesians 2:2) This Enemy is feverishly attempting to eradicate God's people...God's Kingdom. I am recognizing that as I often say to my children, "Time's a-wastin'!"...because it is. Thus, I can bury my head in the sand no longer. It is time to do "hard and holy things".

When I search Twitter with the hashtag #IraqiChristians and I'm confronted with the gruesome reality of beheaded children, heads impaled on stakes and my crucified brothers and sisters of the Kingdom and children who died without food and water because they fled into the mountains...it is time to do "hard and holy things". 

When I do a Google search to try to understand why the Arabic letter above is being used to express solidarity with my Christian family in Iraq, I learn that Christian businesses and homes are being painted with a red "noon", which is the 14th letter of the Arabic alphabet and it is the equivalent of our Roman letter N. But it is used because it stands for Nasara or Nazarenes...an Arabic word for Christian...I weep because having grown up in "The Church of the Nazarene", I fully grasp perhaps for the first time the label of Nazarene. [source found here] To be a Nazarene is to embrace the "hard and holy things".

We have stood by and watched as Rwanda, Bosnia, Congo/Sudan, Syria and now Iraq have seen their peoples shredded through the tyranny of evil. It is time for "hard and holy things".

There is a voice inside of me that calmly attempts to assuage my passion with words like, "it is to be expected"; "we are in the last days"; "it will get worse before it gets better"; and the ultimate justification for malaise, "but what can I do?"

But the Voice that calls me to diligently seek His Kingdom urges me to "hard and holy things". 

So what can I do? 

I can speak out. I can use the letter "noon" to show my solidarity with my Christian family. I can embrace that I do have a voice, even though my Enemy would have me believe no one will listen.

But...

There is One who listens, and when we pray, all of Heaven is silent for half an hour! Eugene Peterson writes that my prayers return to Earth with Reversed Thunder. "Prayer reenters history with incalculable effects. Our earth is shaken daily by it." (Peterson)

Pray. Protest. Pray. Petition. Pray. Promote Truth. Pray.

It may not seem like much to my human way of thinking, but each of these causes ripples and waves that last throughout all eternity, and my Enemy will continue to draw the battlelines against them. 

Battle.

Not something I look forward to, but..."the world needs women to do hard and holy things."

What's Happening In the Patio Garden? End of July Update

There have been some changes in the garden since last month. That's one thing that keeps fueling my passion for growing things. As someone with attention deficit disorder tendencies, the always-changing personality of a garden provides constant adventure.

I had to pull up my potted zucchini and crookneck squash plants. Even 16 inch pots are evidently not large enough for these varieties. They had beautiful blooms but I was only able to harvest two smallish zucchinis and no matter how much I watered, they always looked droopy...an indication of being root bound. Thus far I have tried them in these large pots and also in a topsy-turvy last year, so I have finally concluded that they just can't be grown on my patio, unless I want to devote a large amount of space to them and limit my other plantings.

The good news is that all of the tomatoes continue to do well, even if a few of the larger varieties are slowing down. Some of this is due to the excessive amount of rain and chilly nights we had and then it turned off hot and dry. They may snap back out of it within the next week or so, if not, I'll have a few tomato plants to pull up as well. The cherry-type tomatoes are prolific though. I've harvested a couple of Chinese snake cucumbers and my spicy Santa Fe Grande peppers are doing very well. The Christmas lima beans will soon be ready, and a few of my green bell and yellow bell peppers are loaded with smaller than average fruit. I always anticipate smaller fruit due to the potting method I have to use. 

I've restarted more chard, greens, cauliflower and soon kale. and I've been starting new herbs from clippings that I hope to sell locally. What follows are a few pictures of the harvest, but it includes produce picked from the garden I have at my friend's home too.

The first spaghetti squash, along with white cherry, small cherry, red pear, roma,
rutger, Cherokee purple, chocolate cherry and brandywine tomatoes.

I've been picking many tomatoes early due to rabbits at my friend's garden,
so this scene has become common in our dining room window

Smale Riverfront Park- Downtown Cincinnati

Cincinnati finally has a riverfront that surpasses Newport on the Levee

In just the 7+ years that we have lived here, Cincinnati's waterfront has gone from good to spectacular. With the addition of The Banks and Smale Riverfront Park, there are a lot of interesting sites, delicious restaurants and free fun things to do.

One day in July, the kids and I headed out for water, walking and warm summer breezes by the Ohio River. 

Leah & her friend, Seth, playing in the water

Plenty of shade and seating for adults too.

There are two water spray pads within just a few blocks of each other. No one should feel strange dressing their kids in swimsuits, because we saw plenty of people there doing the same. These are very kid-friendly fountains, made for play. Both areas also have plenty of seating and shade for parents too.

Make sure you take towels!

But there is also history at Smale Park. A memorial to the Black Brigade of the Civil War is beautiful and commemorates a mostly unknown group of men who served our country well.

There is a meditative labryinth (which my kids used for play instead)...

beautiful views of Covington and the River...

The Cincinnati-Covington Roebling Bridge

and the swings!

These swings were the entire reason why we went down to Smale Park to begin with. 

I kept seeing pictures of these swings in tourism and promotional photos and I absolutely had to find them. I know it's silly, but big front-porch type swings along a meandering river in the "near" South. 

Yes, I have always believed that I should have been born further South. I am a southern girl at heart!

You could actually sit on these swings and listen to a Reds game. That is Great American Ballpark in the background.

Regardless of why you go down to The Banks...food, fun, football (yes, it's almost here) or family time, don't forget to stop along the way at Smale Riverfront Park. 

Cincinnati...you did good.

You did good.

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End note:  I can't wait for the trolley car system that will connect the riverfront to everything between it and Findlay Market. We will definitely experience the "spend-a-day-wandering-around-Cincinnati" that I've always wanted to do when that opens up.