Imagine, or remember, if you will...that day on the playground when everyone was choosing teams for kickball, baseball, football, dodge ball or whatever sport it was that they were selecting sides. Remember that fear of being the last one chosen? Okay, are your palms as sweaty as mine at just the memory?
There's an idea I've been mulling over for a few days and I've delayed writing because I so very much want to say this right. I've asked Holy Spirit to give me His words because this is such a BIG idea that I know it didn't come from me. At the same time, I want to be very careful to be aware that we are fragile, finite, clueless humans...we live in a land of smoke and mirrors...and I want God's Love to ooze out of every word I write.
So I've wrestled with this thing for a few days...and while I'm still limited to expressing it in words, I know God's timing is perfect and I have to trust Him to use this how He wants...because I am not perfect. And that's precisely what this lesson is about...my imperfection...make that imperfections!
On the 24th, I read a nice reminder in Jesus Calling to take time out to rest and not feel guilty about it. This in and of itself is a discipline that our culture needs to reestablish in our break-neck-speed world. But what threw me for the proverbial "loop" was not even anything that I'd really associated with the need for rest. Here's what author Sarah Young wrote (keep in mind this is written as Jesus speaking the words to you, the reader):
"I have chosen you less for your strengths than for your weaknesses, which amplify your need for Me."
As a long-time Christian, I am more than familiar that God's strength is best displayed through my weaknesses. That when I am weak, then I am made strong by the power of the Holy Spirit (see 2 Corinthians 12:9, and Romans 8:26) But here's what I gleaned from Young's writing on this day:
I was chosen because of my weakness!
If that doesn't hit you like a ton of heavenly bricks...read it again.
I was chosen because I doubt...because I worry...because I fear...because I'm selfish...because I am harsh...because I'm gossipy, critical, negative, ego-centric, troubled, and the list goes on and on and on! I think I sort of already knew this, but on this day, I felt God's loving Spirit reminding me that I don't have to have all the answers and I don't have to "get it right" every time because He knows I'm weaker than even I know I am...and He's okay with that! In fact...it's exactly why He chose me!!!
Hopefully, you sense my excitement about this. If not...imagine text size 72 instead of 12 and you get the idea. I cannot begin to relate the peace this gives such a failure as myself...and not because it somehow excuses any poor behavior or bad choices/sin on my part. But instead of beating myself up when I fall short of perfection...how about if I give Him those weaknesses ahead of time and ask Him to grow me stronger in them. That way, even if it's only between Him and I, when I do hold my tongue or have faith in the unfathomable or see positive in the negative then I know it's only because of Him and there is no pride in that. No...instead there is deep humility and gratefulness for a God that chose me precisely because He knew He could fill in that deficit.
As I've chewed on this the last few days, it occurred to me yesterday (not for the first time!) that this whole "Kingdom of Jesus" thing is absolutely upside down and backwards to what our human brains think life should look like. I even said to the ladies in my Bible study group, "It's like Alice falling into the rabbit hole." So while I am thankful that God made me intelligent, discerning, a natural leader and a gifted singer...those are not the gifts that I'm praising Him for this morning. No...today...I'm thanking Him that I'm short-tempered, quick to judge, harshly critical, prone to embellish, difficult to work with, selfish, worrisome, fearful, financially challenged, have had a dysfunctional family background and am absolutely not perfect in any way. Only when I take this deformed bundle of junk to Him and acknowledge its existence can He begin to sift through it and create beauty from the ashes of it all (see Isaiah 61:3).
So yeah...in this upside down, topsy-turvy Kingdom of Jesus...I finally get what Paul meant about boasting in his weakness (see 2 Corinthians 11:30 and 2 Corinthians 12:5) My prayer is that when I'm tempted to drown in my failings, I'll allow God's Spirit to remind me that those flaws are not to be a tool of my enemy to keep me afraid and defeated.
Who cares if I'm not the fastest runner, the hardest kicker or even the sharpest maneuverer on the playground? In God's Kingdom...I'm still chosen! And not just chosen...but chosen because I can't run the bases without getting winded!
Amen!
There's an idea I've been mulling over for a few days and I've delayed writing because I so very much want to say this right. I've asked Holy Spirit to give me His words because this is such a BIG idea that I know it didn't come from me. At the same time, I want to be very careful to be aware that we are fragile, finite, clueless humans...we live in a land of smoke and mirrors...and I want God's Love to ooze out of every word I write.
So I've wrestled with this thing for a few days...and while I'm still limited to expressing it in words, I know God's timing is perfect and I have to trust Him to use this how He wants...because I am not perfect. And that's precisely what this lesson is about...my imperfection...make that imperfections!
On the 24th, I read a nice reminder in Jesus Calling to take time out to rest and not feel guilty about it. This in and of itself is a discipline that our culture needs to reestablish in our break-neck-speed world. But what threw me for the proverbial "loop" was not even anything that I'd really associated with the need for rest. Here's what author Sarah Young wrote (keep in mind this is written as Jesus speaking the words to you, the reader):
"I have chosen you less for your strengths than for your weaknesses, which amplify your need for Me."
As a long-time Christian, I am more than familiar that God's strength is best displayed through my weaknesses. That when I am weak, then I am made strong by the power of the Holy Spirit (see 2 Corinthians 12:9, and Romans 8:26) But here's what I gleaned from Young's writing on this day:
I was chosen because of my weakness!
If that doesn't hit you like a ton of heavenly bricks...read it again.
I was chosen because I doubt...because I worry...because I fear...because I'm selfish...because I am harsh...because I'm gossipy, critical, negative, ego-centric, troubled, and the list goes on and on and on! I think I sort of already knew this, but on this day, I felt God's loving Spirit reminding me that I don't have to have all the answers and I don't have to "get it right" every time because He knows I'm weaker than even I know I am...and He's okay with that! In fact...it's exactly why He chose me!!!
Hopefully, you sense my excitement about this. If not...imagine text size 72 instead of 12 and you get the idea. I cannot begin to relate the peace this gives such a failure as myself...and not because it somehow excuses any poor behavior or bad choices/sin on my part. But instead of beating myself up when I fall short of perfection...how about if I give Him those weaknesses ahead of time and ask Him to grow me stronger in them. That way, even if it's only between Him and I, when I do hold my tongue or have faith in the unfathomable or see positive in the negative then I know it's only because of Him and there is no pride in that. No...instead there is deep humility and gratefulness for a God that chose me precisely because He knew He could fill in that deficit.
As I've chewed on this the last few days, it occurred to me yesterday (not for the first time!) that this whole "Kingdom of Jesus" thing is absolutely upside down and backwards to what our human brains think life should look like. I even said to the ladies in my Bible study group, "It's like Alice falling into the rabbit hole." So while I am thankful that God made me intelligent, discerning, a natural leader and a gifted singer...those are not the gifts that I'm praising Him for this morning. No...today...I'm thanking Him that I'm short-tempered, quick to judge, harshly critical, prone to embellish, difficult to work with, selfish, worrisome, fearful, financially challenged, have had a dysfunctional family background and am absolutely not perfect in any way. Only when I take this deformed bundle of junk to Him and acknowledge its existence can He begin to sift through it and create beauty from the ashes of it all (see Isaiah 61:3).
So yeah...in this upside down, topsy-turvy Kingdom of Jesus...I finally get what Paul meant about boasting in his weakness (see 2 Corinthians 11:30 and 2 Corinthians 12:5) My prayer is that when I'm tempted to drown in my failings, I'll allow God's Spirit to remind me that those flaws are not to be a tool of my enemy to keep me afraid and defeated.
Who cares if I'm not the fastest runner, the hardest kicker or even the sharpest maneuverer on the playground? In God's Kingdom...I'm still chosen! And not just chosen...but chosen because I can't run the bases without getting winded!
Amen!
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