What I Have Learned

One of the mosaics from St. Mary's Cathedral
and Basillica, Covington

We've been in our urban home for about three and a half months now. I know I've been strangely silent. I haven't even kept up with my gardening blog like I had hoped.

Yes, I've been busy planting, weeding, harvesting, tilling, mowing, moving, unpacking, preserving, and now back to teaching school at home...but I don't think this is entirely why I've been less verbose.

What I've been learning over the last several weeks, is that some lessons (which are also gifts!) are simply too close to my heart to put words to them. I don't know that I've ever experienced God's Spirit so visibly working in any other season of my life, unless it was in the midst of great tragedy. To have Him obvious and apparent around every bend and bridge of this Journey has left me breathless. 

It's sort of difficult to speak when you're breathless.

But, as He always does in His impeccable timing, He's been placing words on my heart and in my mind, so that I can hopefully encourage someone else who is experiencing His closeness that can be most overwhelming...or to inspire someone who longs expectantly to see His hand and is ready for Him to pull back the curtain to reveal their next move.

This is in list format, because when eloquence fails me, lists help my analytical, logical mind process the fullness of the moment.

The things I've learned since moving into an urban environment:

• I've learned that "urban" places can still have huge trees, quiet streets, beauty and bugs. 
• I've learned that neighors in urban areas may be more willing to smile, wave, say "Hi!"...or tell you their whole life story!
• I've learned that urban neighbors will give your husband roses to bring home for you.
• I've learned that urban neighbors who have lived on the same street for decades may have never met each other.
• I've learned that when you move onto an urban street and are trying to "practice the art of neighboring", you sort of stand out and are even told by one neighbor that you are now the social hub of the street...as she laughs and delights in the fact that you know more of your neighbors than she does.
• I've learned that people who live in the "projects" at the end of your street...and need to walk down your street for access to groceries, etc...will avoid eye contact with the people in these pretty houses, and are caught completely off-guard by this white lady calling out to them to say "Hello!"
• I've learned that these same people will, with time, look for your face as they walk by your house, longing to see someone's smile light up as they pass.
• I've learned that when you pray for the Holy Spirit to interrupt your day for His Kingdom purposes, you better mean that He can interrupt your mowing, so you can take your neighbor that you barely know to get his car that his homeless buddy let run out of gas. And you better be willing to stand by the side of the road while he hot-wires this car...and you pray that any police passing by will believe that it's his car and that you are not in fact an accomplice to grand theft! [This is an hilarious story all by itself!]
• I've learned that when you try to live a more "green" existence and buy a manual mower, you better be prepared to be the entertainment on your street. You should know that every neighbor will have a comment...and you can hear them without a mower running! And the same neighbor you helped get to his car will adamantly insist on mowing your yard for you.
• I've learned that you need to have a plan for when people knock on your door asking for money. If you don't want to just turn them away, you need to keep cash on hand so you can stand at the bus stop with them or give them some work to do so they can feel empowered and not despised. 
• I've learned that God's Spirit can give you a burden to pray for people who are so obviously living outside of His Will for them,  that they can't even pretend to have it all together.
• I've learned that there are snakes in the city too! Ugh!
• I've learned that you better not be offended too easily by language that would make a sailor blush! And that your kids can't be offended by it either!
• I've learned that many people in the city can't hold up the mask of having it all together. They will tell you about their sordid past or present. They will walk stoned down your sidewalks and their dealers (or loansharks or whatever) will shout at them for their money from the front porch of their house.
• I've learned that the city doesn't take as good of care of your neighborhood park if your neighbors don't take care of it either.
• I've learned that the TANK and school buses, when faced with side-swiping a parked car or crossing the line toward an oncoming one (that you are driving), on a very narrow city street, will opt for the the chance of hitting the moving one. Go figure?
• I've learned that when you don't panic at the sound of gunfire...your kids won't either!
• I've learned that when your heart's desire is to find a church that will love and serve the people of your neighborhood...the Holy Spirit plants one...five houses away from your front door!
• I've learned that I can go to church to "serve and not be served"!
• I've learned that when you put free stuff out on your sidewalk for "Free Stuff Fridays", the drug dealer is a little skeptical that you're giving it away and completely caught off guard when you holler out to him to help himself! [I just love Jesus and how He works!]
• I've learned that you can grow food in the city...that your neighbors and those walking by on "Free Stuff Friday" are thrilled to enjoy your harvest. 
• I've learned that people who think your neighborhood is scary, just don't have the eyes to see the beauty that's all around them.
• I've learned that Jesus cares about my kids' hearts too when my lonely 12 year old finds a buddy down the street who has been waiting 10 years for another kid move in.
• I've learned that I can come home after celebrating a child's birthday dinner and find protestors and pray-ers at the end of my street...and be frustrated that I missed it!
• I've learned that Jesus is walking the streets of my neighborhood...and I want to follow Him wherever He goes!

I don't think I can ever adquately describe the overwhelming contentment, joy, love, mystery and adventure that I am experiencing almost daily. This list only scratches the surface of what I know is still to come.

Amen!

My Injustice

I've started working through Kelly Minter's study, What Love Is: The Letters of 1, 2, 3 John (Living Room) So far, I really like what I'm studying. But today, a commonly quoted verse brought me to tears as the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and opened my Kingdom eyes.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9, NASB)

You don't have to be a Christian very long before you hear this verse. In fact, if you had someone walk you through any step-by-step proselytizing format (like those used by Campus Crusade, Youth For Christ, YWAM, etc.) you probably recognize it as one of the scriptures used to illustrate that in order to receive salvation, one thing you need to do is "confess your sins".

You'll also notice that I put the letters NASB after the reference. That's because I use the New American Standard Bible. If you've known this verse, you probably stumbled over the word "righteous", just like I did. That's because most of us memorized, or have heard quoted a gazillion times, the word "just" there, as used in the NIV (New International Version).

This morning, when I saw the "righteous", but my brain slid in the word "just", something transforming happened for me. Holy Spirit nudged, "Now if just and righteous are interchangeable...do it again." What did He mean? Look at the last word of the verse and this is what I read:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all un-just-ness.

Now...you and I both know that "unjustness" isn't a word...but injustice is.

Injustice.

The kind of thing that keeps people enslaved to give me coffee or sugar.
The kind that allows me to spend $2 for an iced tea when a single mom in Asia only has that amount to feed her five children for an entire day.
The kind of thing that keeps one race feeling "less than" my race.
The kind that turns Christians ugly and mean when other people don't live up to their code of conduct.
The kind of evil that opens up gunfire in a church.
The kind that drives millions from their homes while we look on from afar.
The kind that allows people to live on top of a garbage dump.

I can actually go on. But I won't. You get the point, I hope.

We are surrounded by injustice. And often I am extremely self-righteous about it. [Notice the "self" part of that.]

When I back up in I John 1:9, I'm reminded that only God is righteous. Only God is just.

Ever since I was a small child, I've had this profound sense of "fairness". As a middle child, I have always wanted everything to be fair and equal. It isn't. And when it's not, I get downright angry. But there's one more big word in this verse. It's a word God's Spirit has been growing in me for a few years now. It's a word that I've shared the meaning of with anyone who will listen.

Faithful.

What does faithful mean? This isn't a technical definition, but as I studied this word a few years ago, I became aware that it essentially can be explained as this: God's faithfulness is God's really-real-reality.

You see, it doesn't matter what I say is real. It doesn't matter what our culture, government, family, school, neighbor, boss, friend, co-worker, coach or the rest of the world says is real. Everything goes back to God's reality.

His.

Not mine.

And His really-real-reality is that He is just...He is righteous...and when I admit honestly that every inclination in my heart is evil (Genesis 8:21)...only then can He begin to cleanse me of the injustice that lurks in my heart.

My heart.

No one else's.

I don't confess my sins so that someone else will be cured of their alcoholism, or convicted of their adultery. I don't admit my shortcomings so that the world will sanctify my point of view.

No.

I throw myself on the mercy seat of Jesus' blood, because a just and real God wants to purge me of my injustice. He's ready to cast out my judgmental ways, my critical spirit, my arrogant pride and anything else in this mortal, flawed shell that feels somehow I deserve better treatment than a leper in Calcutta, a slave in Indonesia or a pedophile in Wyoming (yes...I went there. I am no better than even him!)

So, I hope you'll forgive me if I haven't "taken a stand" or "voiced my outrage" or "shared my concern"...I'm too busy pleading with my Maker to clean me up and create in me a pure heart.

Like His.

I Didn't Even Know I Could Ask!?

This may look like "just" some raspberries and very small garlic bulbs. You would be right.

And you would be wrong. It is so much more.

It's essentially a question I've been asking myself:  What have I missed out on because I was too afraid to ask?

I want to say flat-out that I am not a "prosperity" Gospel person. I believe God's Word that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. We will have bad things happen, simply because we exist. There isn't any magical set of hoops we can jump through to get the big house, fancy car, around the world cruise or _____________(insert your wildest dream).

But James told us that "Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." (see James 1:16-17) In other words, God gives good gifts to His children.

If you've journeyed with me for any length of time at all, you know what a gift our new home is. I truly cannot think of one single thing that we needed...or wanted...that God did not provide. My children even tease me that I've developed a "script" of sorts when I give a tour of our new house. When they first mentioned this, I backed off of my exuberance a little...but then realized that the "script" was just the story of what God had done in us, through us, and for us.

One of the last pieces to fall into place was discovering a community garden a mere five houses down from where we live. I had a key within a week of moving in, and 10 tomato plants planted in my new plot by the following week.

Because I've seen how God has put this all together, I have not dared to say, "Oh...and God...if You don't mind...there's one more thing I'd like to have." I kept thinking instead that He has done immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine, so I didn't want to be greedy and ask for something else.

As I've plotted, planned and put in my gardening areas, the one thing I kept thinking was that I would never have space for berries (which are some of my favorites), asparagus or maybe not even a garlic bed. This was neither a request, nor a complaint...just wishful thinking. Obviously, this picture gives away the story.

You see God is so abundantly awesome that He prompted someone several years ago, to plant peach trees, grapes, raspberries, blackberries, strawberries, garlic and yes...even asparagus so that one day I could come along, tend to them, and enjoy a little harvest. I'm not sure that words can express the delight, the joy and the amazement at how my Abba orchestrated all of this. 

No one has taken care of these plants in years. It will be my pleasure to do so. A good and perfect gift is worthy of great care and tender cultivation. I would not want to neglect something He so brilliantly grew in anticipation of my arrival in this neighborhood.

Today, as I scurried around looking for a container to carry home the delicious raspberries, my mind kept turning over the wonder and awe of a God who delights in giving us a handful of berries because He knows it will move us to tears at how tenderly merciful He is. I know He was smiling at my joy and basking in the praise I offered Him for knowing me even better than I know myself.

And the verse that just kept circling round and round in my awestruck brain was again from James: "You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your own pleasures." (4:2-3)

What have I been too afraid to ask?

What have I missed because I thought it was too insignificant to ask of my Father?

How do I live so that these gifts are not only "spent" on my pleasures?

What is He anxiously waiting to give me, because He knows I will appreciate it in a way that no one else will?

Why don't I ask Him what He wants me to ask for?

I have some homework. I think you do too. And if you get to a place in your thoughts that you think what you're asking is insignificant, tedious or you could just go out and do it yourself...please come back to this photo.

I mean...really...a God who puts together a few red raspberries to embrace the soul of one of His children. Yeah...I don't think you need to worry about it being too small.

More Than You Could Ask or Imagine

Sometimes...words are just so inadequate.

I have struggled to wrap my brain around what God has done in the last two months. I have expressed it to friends, discussed it with family and tried to compile feeble praise to an Abba who loves to give sweet surprises to His children. I have witnessed the exuberance of friends who have been on this Journey with us and delighted as their uncontained excitement for us has spilled over onto the walls and floors of our new home. And yet, words have often failed me.

How do you describe a God who patiently walked me through the steps of what I thought we needed to work toward sustainability (at least  a 1 acre farm) toward the reality of where He wanted us (a 0.1 acre urban farm)?

How do you find words for a God who prompted an annoying homeowner to walk down an alleyway at precisely the right moment we exited viewing his home, which "coincidentally" steered us to the next home that I didn't even think we needed to view (and where we now live)?

How do you honor a God that I know (after meeting them) inspired the previous owners to pray for the exact family to come along that would appreciate the home they had lovingly tended for 35 years?

How do you explain a God who gave you every minute detail in a home that you've ever wanted, but were afraid to believe you could have?

How do you thank a God who knew you needed a lawn mower, yard tools, a trimmer, a new queen-sized bed, a shower curtain, space for indoor hydroponics, even stakes to hold up your tomato plants...and had the previous owners leave it all in excellent, clean condition???

How do you give voice to the amazement of a God who kept whispering, "Don't worry that the size of the yard is too small. You never know what may happen. There may be an abandoned lot or other space free up someday?"...only to discover on Monday that there is a community garden less than 1/2 a block from our home, and by Thursday, find someone working in it, which prompts my sweet friend to laugh and say, "Let's go talk to her", and the woman graciously contacts the person in charge who seriously offers you one to one and a half of the plots, hesitantly asks if you're okay with using only organic gardening practices AND ALMOST APOLOGETICALLY ASKS IF YOU'D BE WILLING TO SET OUT ANY ABUNDANCE FOR THE NEIGHBORS TO TAKE FREELY????????

There is, as yet, one single heart's desire that I have to find unfulfilled! My husband and children are pleased with the location, we are excited to become familiar with the bus system, and there is low-income housing down the street that others may fear, but expectantly calls me to serve and Love in the Name of my precious Savior and Abba.

I have attempted and failed to express to those around me all that has happened these last eight weeks. I have apologized for appearing docile while their excitement cannot be contained. It has truly been more emotion than I can absorb. It almost feels like I'm beginning to simply "take it in stride".

I never want to take for granted the precious care my Father provides, but yesterday as we walked back from the community garden, I think my sweet friend summed it up best, 'How could the One who shaped and molded your small heart in His hands not know exactly what you needed and wanted?' 

I guess it was just a matter of time, refining in us, and prompting beautiful people to give up their well-loved home before it could all be played out to His glory and honor.

God, please create the words in my heart and soul that express my joy and delight in You. And when words are not enough, may my life be a reflection of Your grace, a witness of Your love and a steady stream of mercy flowing out into everyone around me. You. Are. Amazing. I am blessed to be Your's! Amen!

Too Anxious to Stay Inside

What do you do when life is changing soon and the anticipation of it is more than your passionate soul can bear? Do you stay inside and wade through hours of math, algebra and geometry with the kids? Or do you surprise them with a day of "going out", soaking up sun, eating tasty treats and contemplating how different your life will soon be?

The rhythms, the hums, the cadence of life is steady and sweet. The joy, the elation, the significance of what is about to happen is not lost on anyone. Friends and acquaintances almost cannot contain their excitement, so how can I?

God's plans are so much bigger, higher, deeper, wider and all-encompassing than I could ever ask or imagine. Every detail of what we thought we "wanted" and the things we didn't even think were askable are all on the table. Do you have an hour? Soon you can come sit on our front porch and I'll tell you how He did it. 

Come to think of it, an hour may not be long enough.

Sometimes what I thought I "needed" and what He wanted me to surrender to seemed vast, untameable and more complex than this hyper-analytical brain could comprehend. That's why He is God...and I am not. 

Sometimes I dragged my feet and buried my head because it was just all too good for me to take in. If I had just let You be God and gone along for the ride, how much more could I have learned, experienced and absorbed? But my failings, You don't hold against me.

When friends and total strangers tell me they see me "come alive" in the gifts You have given me, I need no more affirmation of what You've been speaking to my heart. I hear Rafiki from the Lion King say, "It is time."

And so it is.

We'll be leaving this home soon. It has been a place of healing, a place of immense growth. It has been a respite from a world that dug its claws into us and threatened to defeat us.

"But our God is greater. Our God is stronger. Our God is higher than any other." We sing those words in R3volution...but I have lived them.

Now, because of His faithfulness, not ours...we begin a new chapter. In this leg of the Journey, we not only continue to grow, but are granted the absolute privilege of pouring our lives out so that others can know that they are loved.

Follow us here. Check out my new gardening blog (coming soon). Come sit on our front porch, sip sweet tea, visit the garden, or stay for a spell and pour out your life too. I can promise you nothing...except the ride of a lifetime!

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Note about these photos:  I love this River...and we're moving nearer to it. We'll be only a 10-15 minute drive from downtown Cincy, or a 25 minute bus ride...which will be our new (highly anticipated!) way of getting there!

Love Them Wherever They Are

There's a lesson I've been learning over the last few years and recently I've had opportunity to share it with others. It's a difficult lesson to absorb in our American culture. It often goes against the very nature of our being. If you're a compassionate, loving helper who just wants to offer the same blessings that have been given to you, this may be a lesson you have to mentally fight against over and over again:

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

I've been in more than one conversation this winter where dreamers ask the obvious question:  What do we do to help the homeless get off the street? I respond audibly or in my mind (if voicing it wasn't appropriately timed) this phrase that is becoming my mantra for service and ministry:

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

As we have served dinner monthly at the Emergency Shelter of Northern Kentucky and in my mind I have begged the questions of my Abba, Where will these grandmothers go for the summer when the shelter is closed? Why is there no place for them? Why do they not have a friend to take them in? He has continued to reply: 

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

When helping out the Chaplain at Turfway Park with a chapel service, dropping off donations of clothing, fruit or just meeting with him to make arrangements for our End of Season Party we held last week, he echoed this same thought about the people who live and work at Turfway. Many of them are simply grateful to have a roof over their head, food to eat, and a job that pays enough for them to send some money back home to their families who are dependent upon them for provision.

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

We had a huge outpouring of help from the women in our Bible studies, but when I take my eyes off of what Jesus has called me to do, I can easily become discouraged by the ones who express no interest, who don't want more information about how to help or asked to be removed from the email list once we started asking for volunteers. I was once again reminded...

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

As the End of Season Party effortlessly unfolded, as the donations came pouring in, as women who signed up to arrive at 11:30 a.m. were so excited that they asked if they could come early and set up, I saw grace, acceptance, compassion, mercy, understanding, new awareness of our fellow man and Love on display. The Holy Spirit affirmed in me, this it what happens when you...

Love people right where they are...not where you want them to be.

Jesus never said, Go into all the world and give everyone a three bedroom, two bath home, indoor plumbing and a down comforter to sleep under. But He did say that whatever we do to the "least of these", we do to Him. (see Matthew 25:31-46) I think there is a miraculous, divine transference of grace when we serve and love others that are marginalized in our world. I almost think that's what Jesus was talking about. I believe that's why I heard women promising to help next year at Turfway, why I saw smile after smile on the served and serving alike, why I walked away thinking about those who missed out on this blessing, that I will emphatically call out to so they won't miss it again, and why I feel compelled to cry out to the comfy American church that if they are not actively engaged in serving "the least of these", they are not fulfilling their God-given destiny.

But mostly, I want to serve and Love on anyone who will allow me to because God...

Loved Angela right where she was...not where He wanted her to be.

Amen!

Why Serving In Our Cities Matters

Houston, Texas, February 2015

I've reached a place in my devotional reading of The Joy of the Gospel by Pope Francis, where he writes about why reaching our cities for Jesus should be a priority. I love how he expresses this and thought you would like to hear it too

"In cities, as opposed to the countryside, the religious dimension of life is expressed by different lifestyles, daily rhythms linked to places and people. In their daily lives people must often struggle for survival and this struggle contains within it a profound understanding of life which often includes a deep religious sense. We must examine this more closely in order to enter into a dialogue like that of our Lord and the Samaritan woman at the well where she sought to quench her thirst." 

Cities are not a "lost cause" or worthy of our fear or disdain. Cities are places the people of God should flock to in order to learn a "profound understanding of life which often includes a deep religious sense."

If the people of God will not go, someone or something else will fill the void. Do we then have the right to judge or complain about the end result?

"Love God. Love ___________ (insert your city name)." This is what the folks of Mission Year do everyday. The beautiful part is, we can too.

Love God. Love Cincinnati.

We Live In the Saturdays

Yesterday for Good Friday, I saw a lot of Facebook friends posting a very famous quote from an equally famous sermon that Tony Campolo shared many years ago:  "It's Friday, but Sunday's comin'!"

While Campolo is one of my favorite people, this morning something new was impressed upon me that maybe you've already realized, but was profound for me.

We live in the Saturdays.

On Friday, He left. 

On Sunday, He returned.

What did His followers do on Saturday? We aren't told.

I guess we have some advantages over the early disciples. 

• He left, but by the power of the Holy Spirit, we're not alone.
• We know He's coming back. Jesus told them, but it seems they either didn't listen, didn't understand or didn't believe.

So what did they do with their Saturday?

And what will we do with ours?

Kingdom Dining

One of Abbey's photos from our community dinner

I had originally title this post "Dinner With Friends" and intended to share it several days ago, but as He sometimes does, the Holy Spirit prompted me to delay so He could solidity the lesson even more.

As I've previously mentioned, every Saturday in a Mission Year, the team hangs out in their neighborhood and builds community with their neighbors. They also invite their neighbors and friends to have dinner with them. The menu during my visit was Lindi's delicious Tomato Basil Soup and Brent made some tasty oven-grilled cheese sandwiches. I pitched in a big salad purchased at the local NuWaters Co-op which is making healthy, local grown options available in a neighborhood where fresh produce is hard to come by.

Seated around the table were 15 people, most of whom only met within the previous day or two and even the Eight at the core of the group have only been together since early September...but it felt like home.

There were soon-to-be college kids, mastered-degreed young adults, empty-nester moms, friends from former church connections, a neighbor and me. Some are married, some divorced, and some remarried or single. We're not only all from different backgrounds and have varying skin tones, but the geographical backdrops didn't go unnoticed by me. Upstate New York, Kansas, Indiana, Iowa, Oklahoma, Texas and my own Kentucky home were all represented around the three tables squished together to seat all 15 of us.

And as I tried to remember to see through Kingdom eyes, I heard that Whisper say, "I'm giving you just a glimpse of the Banquet I'm preparing for all of you." I don't know if I've ever experienced the Lord's Table before that night, and I did fleetingly think of asking them if we could have communion together. I wish I'd spoken up, because I know I felt the perfection of the moment when Jesus Himself was sitting there with us.

What was the reason for delaying this post? Well, apparently the Holy Spirit prompted the same observation in my daughter. She wrote about it in her February newsletter. 

Oh...but God is so good that He gave me even one more example.

Serving dinner at ESNKY in January

Our church partners with Emergency Shelter of Northern Kentucky to provide life-saving overnight housing for 12 men when temperatures drop below 15 degrees and their shelter is overflowing with people seeking aid. They are supposed to house 40, but Monday night when temperatures were below zero, we housed 12, Mother of God church (also a temporary overflow site) had 12 and ESNKY housed 90 souls. [We fed the 12 men at our place and about 70 at ESNKY.] One of our volunteers stepped on a man's hand trying to walk through the hallway because bodies lined both sides of the already narrow space. Whoever says, "I don't see the homeless, so the problem must not be that bad," needs to take a trip down to Scott Street on a single-digit night and observe the line down the block, just to get in the door.

Part of our Homeless Hosting set-up in January

My friend heads up our church's team of over 100 volunteers that share responsibility for hosting, feeding, driving and providing hospitality to these 12 men. So far this winter, we've done this five different weeks for either three or four nights each session. I love being part of the Church that truly is serving "the least of these" and who honestly believes we are called to "be the hands and feet of Jesus". Since this morning may be the last opportunity we have to love on our new friends at our place, my friend Kari sent out some final observations Holy Spirit has been laying on her heart. One that struck a chord with me is that she felt dining with our homeless friends gave her "a glimpse into what fellowship around God's table will be like in heaven someday."

Many races, varying socio-economic statuses, many different backgrounds, many different life choices...but all brought together by the bond of Christ's Love and an abundant feast He sets before us. That is a meal worthy of our attention.

All of this has made me crave more opportunities for Kingdom dining. The invitation is always there...but will we accept our seat He's reserved just for us?

Amen!

I Am a Prodigal

When I was in Houston two weeks ago, I had a wonderful opportunity to attend church at St. John's Downtown. Pastor Steven taught from Luke 15:11-32. Most Christians know this as the story Jesus told (aka parable) called The Prodigal Son.

"I am the Prodigal Son every time I look for unconditional love where it cannot be found." That quote from Pastor Steven is something I have repeatedly returned to since I wrote it down. He asked the congregation if as sons and daughters of the King, we ever "cash in" our royalty for debauchery.

Good thoughts to ponder.

I liked what I saw and heard at St. John's. Their emphasis on loving people where they are has led them into extensive homeless ministry, AIDS activism, baptismal commitments where vows to fight injustice in ourselves and others are expected and depression/bi-polar support groups that would be taboo in some churches are promoted from the pulpit. All of this while encouraging youth to pursue academics, not athletics, as the way to escape from poverty, by providing college campus tours throughout the South.

But as I have contemplated Pastor Steven's words, perfectly timed today I read in The Joy of the Gospel, "At times we (the Church) have to be like the father of the prodigal son, who always keeps his door open so that when the son returns, he can readily pass through it...Frequently, we act as arbiters of grace rather than its facilitators. But the Church is not a tollhouse, it is the house of the Father, where there is a place for everyone, with all their problems."

As I struggled last Sunday with being judgmental and critical of many incongruities that I see in American Christians, I was ever so grateful that my Father was waiting with the door wide open. Why would I as His Prodigal Child ever close it for anyone else?

More Than I Can Chew

I've realized that as opportunity after opportunity to serve and love in the Name of Jesus has been coming my way, that I'm in a little over my head with everything that is taking place...and that is precisely where He wants me to be.

Absolutely dependency upon Him is what I've been praying for. Desperate longing to see His Kingdom at work all around me is what I've been thirsting for. And amazing Love to see, live, give and breath in is what I've been craving. So He's called me "out upon the waters" [from one of my current favorite worship songs] and I'm diving in [to quote an older Steven Curtis Chapman one] and honestly, I'm humbled at the thought at the beauty of where His current, or should I say riptide, is going to take me.

Only He knows. What I know is that obediently following Him into the vast...amazing...unknown is exactly where I long to be!

Where is He calling you?

Pope Francis Quote of the Day

I have been sharing several quotes from The Joy of the Gospel on Twitter and Facebook, and today thought this one would be great to share with you.

"[A missionary heart] never closes itself off, never retreats into its own security, never opts for rigidity and defensiveness. It realizes that it has to grow in its own understanding of the Gospel and in discerning the paths of the Spirit, and so it always does what good it can, even if in the process, its shoes get soiled by the mud of the street."

The mud of the street, the dung in the horse barn, the nasty water of the laundromat, the trash of the abandoned house...where will your missionary heart lead you to get soiled this week?

Looking Out For Each Other

One of the perks of serving with Mission Year is their emphasis on building community with your neighbors. I've been delighted to hear Abbey's stories of getting to know Miss Dottie and Miss Debbie and others. During last weekend's visit, I enjoyed participating in neighborhood day, which happens every Saturday.

What if each of us took out one day a week from our busy lives, spent it in our neighborhood, walking around, meeting neighbors, only shopping close to home, and investing in our own communities? [That wouldn't work in most of our suburban isolation. How many of us even have a grocery store that we can walk or ride the bus to?] Just think about the implications of investing one whole day each week of time, energy and resources back into your neighborhood.

For me, it was a day of swelling pride and a heart growing bigger with love when I met two of the ladies that are "looking out for" my kid. They both sang the praises to the moms that were visiting for how wonderful our children are and how grateful they are to have them nearby.

What a blessing!

These sweet ladies took a risk letting their young neighbors into their lives. Miss Dottie exclaimed, "I've never let anybody else around here in my house!" These wonderful grandmas have driven the kids to church when it's raining, given them canned food they won't need for themselves, and even let them use their wash machines a few times. As wonderful as these have been, the most profound gift for all has been companionship and another friend to love.

Pride and Stubborness

Jane Austen is one of my all-time favorite authors. And although my situation looked nothing at all like her heroine, Elizabeth Bennet's, this phrase in my title was a play on words that kept humming through my head recently. I don't have a lot of time today to explain, but I think I should at least attempt to try.

Mission Year hosts "Come and See" weekends twice each year in their various service cities. Abbey has long wanted me to come, but I didn't possibly see how I could. (You know where this is going, right?) Well...God being the good Giver of absolutely every perfect gift, as I (and Abbey) began praying for His wisdom and provision, several things "fell" into place that I recognized as being from Him...and some it took a little longer to put together.

First, I kept back some of my Christmas gift money. That is big, right there. Then, I picked up some contract work worth a couple hundred dollars, the very day after Abbey told me she'd be praying for God's provision. I also had two dear friends ready to head out on an 18 hour (one way!) road trip, and to be honest, the hours and hours of girl/Jesus time sounded amazing! One of these friends even has a sweet friend in Houston where we could stay.

Then...like the unforeseen curve in the road, a friend offered me frequent flyer miles to get a free airplane ticket. Suddenly, my well-planned trip had to be reassessed: I couldn't stay with my friend's friend without her. I'm a little afraid of flying. I had it all planned out in my head, Maybe I could take the ticket and pay for a hotel. I'd still have to rent a car in Houston, so would I really be saving that much?

And then He did it.

Yep...this is what I heard: "You are just being stubborn! You ask me to provide and..." I know in that moment if I could actually see the Holy Spirit He would have had His shoulders shrugged, His hands open wide and a look of "Well...what did you expect?" on His face.

My pride and stubbornness was uncomfortable with a free ticket and a free place to stay with a stranger. But these are both Christian hospitality in their finest. There are no strangers in God's family, right?

So tomorrow, bright and early, I'll be taking that flight to Houston and tomorrow night, Abbey will be staying with me in a lovely home with a brother and sister I have yet to meet. I could not have put this all together any better than if I'd actually written the manuscript. It all makes me wonder what other perfect gifts have I missed out on in the past because of my Pride and Stubbornness.

Is there anything that you are missing out on receiving because you've already got it all "figured out"? 

My Co-worker

As I've been making my way through 1 Thessalonians I kept coming across some wording that struck me as odd, yet I'm certain it's intentional in the way that Paul, Silas and Timothy chose to write it.

"and we sent Timothy, our brother and God's fellow worker in the gospel of Christ; to strengthen and encourage you as to your faith." (1 Thessalonians 3:2)

Note what it does and does not say: Timothy is their brother and God's fellow worker. Other versions use "fellowlabourer" (KJV) and "God's man for spreading the Message" (The Message). 

I confess, I don't often think of myself as God's co-worker. I think of other Christians as my fellow labourers. But what if I saw them all as my brothers and sisters only? 

I would probably be more gracious, forgiving and tolerant of the little things that being human crop up and annoy or frustrate us. We're all much more forgiving with family. Usually.

And instead of thinking of trudging along with other flawed humans as my partners...what if I actually believed that God's plans hinged on me showing up for work?

Aside from the obvious problem of getting fired (because God would never fire us), there are people depending on you for your "goods and services". If no one showed up at the local Amazon warehouse, we'd all be doing without a whole lot of stuff.

And what happens when one (or a handful) of people are left to do all of the work while everyone else huddles around the water cooler or breakroom just wasting away the day? In the real world, the "few" would probably be resentful, angry and ready to quit. But just for the sake of argument, let's say they are gracious, absolutely love what they are doing, wouldn't trade their job for the world, and find great personal meaning and fulfillment in what they believe is their calling? 

To be honest, the loyal, hardworking labourer can only carry the dead weight for so long. If we're talking about a multi-billion dollar company that spans every corner of the globe, has about 2 billion employees and only about 2 million of them or less are actually doing any work, that means .1% (0.001 or one-thousandth) of the employees are actively engaged in the job to be done. And since there's the global-potential to reach 7 billion "customers", that is 1 co-worker for every 3500 potential clients. If we were Hunger Games people we would say "the odds are definitely not in your favor." 

Anyone out there with a client-base of 3500 people that they need to introduce to the product, peak their interest, sell them the goods, and then provide life-long customer service if need be? Yet, this is exactly the burden we place upon those who are working in the Kingdom if we even have 2 million workers in the fields. Jesus told us two thousand years ago that "the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few." (see Matthew 9:37, NASB) It seems not much has changed in those two thousand years.

Now, while I've crassly placed salvation and God's plan for all of mankind in the context of business, goods, sales and everyday life, I do so for what I hope has become an extremely obvious point:  We take God's grace and Love for granted.

What employer would allow 90% or more of His workers to fill pews, wax philosophical and armchair-coach-away the problems of the world and how they would solve them "if they only had a chance"? That would be the most gracious, loving, kind and longsuffering employer you would ever have.

But here's the beautiful part: He doesn't consider Himself your employer, He is your fellowlabourer.

He's right there in the trenches with you, cheering you on, delighting in your successes and commiserating in your trials and pain. He meets you around the water cooler when you need to debrief and He discusses the next step and the vision in the "business" plan when He's groomed you and you're ready for the next adventure in your career. And no one could be any prouder when you reach "retirement" and hang up your briefcase. Nothing's changed in the company manual in over 5000 years and it will remain the same long after you've reached your Reward.

So here's the question that is begging to be asked:  When your loved ones gather around for the "retirement roast", what will they say of you? Will they mention your financial portfolio? Will they reminisce about your good intentions and ideas? Will they put a gold-plate on the pew that you warmed? Or will your children "rise up and call you blessed" (see Proverbs 31:28, NASB)? Will there be anyone to shake your hand in the Promised Land and say, 'if it weren't for your work, your labor of love (see 1 Thessalonians 1:3), I would not be here?'

It's time to work. No matter what you think the sacrifice may involve, it pales in comparison to the joy and blessings that will be received. Paul went so far as to say, "for now we really live, if you stand firm in the Lord." (1 Thessalonians 3:8) 

I'm ready to "really live"...aren't you? So let's go back to the Manual and ask our Co-worker to show us the next phase of His personal Vision for us and as Nike reminds us "Just Do It"!

You Never Know What a Little LOVE Will Do

My friend, Jennifer, recently wrote a blog post about how impacting three little words were in her life. I never dreamed how meaningful this would be to Jennifer when I began signing my emails to her this way, I only knew how deeply I had felt them a handful of years earlier.

You see, I had a wonderful Pastor during a deeply dark time in my life that signed his emails this way: You are loved. I admit now that it was a jolt to my disappointed and non-trusting heart. I mean, what man signs his emails to female congregants this way?

A man who every week during his sermons told hundreds of people that they will always be Loved, Accepted, and Forgiven...that's who?

I sat on those three words in the years to come, longing to share them with someone who deeply needed them as much as I had. Jennifer was the first, and then the Holy Spirit reminded me that everyone should know that You are loved.

Letters of "business" or formal information don't receive this sign off from me, but when I feel I know you well enough to receive it with the Spirit in which it is given, I say "good bye" with the precious reminder that was given to me all those years ago.

I'd love to be inside someone's head the first time they see these three words from me. It's interesting to see friends reply with what I am sure are honest and heartfelt phrases like "Love you lots," "Love you too," or just "Love, (insert name here). Sometimes I want to poke my head through the screen and say, "No! It's not I who loves you...well, I do, but that's beside the point...no...You are loved. Because you are loved by the Creator of the Universe and His Son who died for you and His Spirit that resides in you...You are loved."

Do we get this?? I mean really get it?

I pray we do, and Pope Francis reminded me why this morning:  "For if we have received the love which restores meaning to our lives, how can we fail to share it with others?"-- The Joy of the Gospel

There is a "Love Trail" so to speak. There are a lot of tributaries that have flown into my path along the way, helping to fill me up with God's gracious Love until it overflows. But on this little stream, I was blessed to pour life-pumping Love into Jennifer because my Pastor had poured it into me, and someday I hope to meet and thank the ones who poured Love into him.

But ultimately, I know where the Love Trail leads...all the way back to a cross that should have been mine. The steaming blood that cascaded down the splinter-ridden beams has never stopped flowing. Don't be the dam that holds back the reservoir. It was never intended to be contained or controlled. Let the Love overwhelm you and overflow out of you. You just never know what a difference three little words can make.

And by the way...

You are loved.

Angela

WIJD: #FCCGodStories

[What Is Jesus Do-ing?]

One of the things Jesus is doing is prompting myself and others to share God's Stories with anyone who will listen. February 1st at First Church of Christ in Burlington, we begin a six week discussion of Shane Claiborne's book, Irresistible Revolution. We hope to have passionate, life-changing conversations about living out God's Kingdom "on Earth as it is in Heaven" (see Matthew 6:9-13), but we're continuing the discussion throughout the week on our Facebook group First Church of Christ - God Stories. 

Anyone can join us in the discussion. We're keeping the group private because anyone that asks to join will have to agree to some guidelines that simply remind us to treat others with respect, grace and Love...above all else...Love...but we welcome all seekers, sojourners and saints.

I found it interesting today to come across an article that talks about how Facebook creator and billionaire Mark Zuckerberg is beginning a Facebook book discussion on his page. Zuckerberg believes that books help you explore topics and immerse yourself in ways that no other media does.

Hmm?? I think we're on to something.

My hope...my prayer...for the FCC God Stories folks is that between the pages of the stories of the lives of God's people who are living out His Kingdom, we find the courage, the passion, and the joy to join Him in His work.

You CAN Go Home Again...

but you'll be changed.

*******************

I anticipated this. I knew it may happen. It does not make me sad. It makes life real.

I joyfully picked up our oldest Friday afternoon from Indianapolis International Airport, hugged and kissed her sweet little ginger head, had lunch with my parents, sister-in-law and niece and nephews, and started the long drive home.

It's not lengthy...but it was quiet.

My introvert who has had her comfortable, suburban world jolted by the reality of a broken and often hopeless one, needed time to decompress. My usual tactic of pummelling my children with questions until they open up was not appropriate, I had perceived as much.

At some point in the journey I must have asked the right question and the conversation flowed more easily. It has increasingly done so over the last two days...yet, there's one significant change that I have noticed: 

She's no longer set off by the small things that used to light her fuse.

*****************

While I knew maturity would arrive swiftly for an 18 year old (now 19 year old) who's sacrificing comfort and the "norm" for a woman of her tender age, I wasn't prepared for the "untroubledness" of her maturity.

I was fully prepared to avoid her triggers. We all have them. In families we learn to step around them to keep the peace. When I've asked about laundry, food choices, and plans for each day, I think I'm no longer perceived as a nag...but she understands that my genuine concern for her is manifested in the little things.

What I've been asking myself for the last 48+ hours though are questions of myself that I think each Christian should delve into and accompanied by the Holy Spirit, grapple with and mold into our being and modus operandi for daily life:

What can cause us to abandon our priorities?

What can help us not to sweat the "small stuff"?

What must happen for me to put into perspective the minutiae of life?

What changes inside a perfectionist to bring them more calm, peace and joy?

The answer is simple...yet profound...

Love!

It may have been long-distance, but I have seen this beauty fall in love with a city, a neighborhood, a school and the children inside of it. She has talked with prostitutes, shared meals with feeble grandmothers in her new home, made pies and candy for her neighbors, taught children to sing and draw and enjoyed a birthday "cake" made from playground mulch accompanied by a preschool-pitched chorus of "Happy Birthday Miss Abbey".

She has also learned the humility of poverty and dependence upon others. She has found pleasure in the simple things like a free, reconditioned bike, local taco stands and new friends that quickly become family.

She has found new outrage inside of herself. While others her age are frustrated with the latest iPhone update or that their favorite cafe' no longer carries their preferred mocha, she has discovered fury over racism, injustice, deep poverty, and the desperation that drives people to merely survive instead of thrive.

She has found her Voice...and it is a melody of grace.

He'll Wreck Your Life!

I'm beginning to think that every potential Christian should receive this word of caution: Watch Out! He'll wreck your life!

I have been deeply reminded of this in the last few days. This morning the Holy Spirit drove it home with a line from a book I began reading, Kisses From Katie. In the introduction she writes these few small words that are jam-packed with a lifetime of adventure: "You see, Jesus wrecked my life."

Not 20 minutes later I stood in my kitchen preparing my morning juice and the quiet in our place was too much for the spinning wheels of my mind. I turned on a Christmas CD from a group that my now-grown Abbey listened to in her pre-adolescent years...Jump 5. Their rendition of "Joy to the World" has always hit me in the right place, but today...it flat-out made me cry.

Why?

Because Jesus doesn't just want to "wreck your life"...He came, lived and died so that He could wreck the whole world!

He brought His Kingdom come on "Earth and it is in Heaven." And He has never looked back. 

He wrecked the places where we find our security. He wrecked the notion of who is strong and who is weak. He wrecked the attitudes toward "the least of these". He wrecked deeply-ingrained notions of gender importance. He wrecked who is embraced by the King. He wrecked our hope in the world systems that keep us enslaved. He wrecked the perceptions of why people are poor and just exactly who is poor. And He called His followers to voluntarily let Him wreck their lives...sometimes to the point of death.

So this year, amidst the gifts, the lights, the music, the laughter, the contentment of having our oldest home, and the beauty of a world that at least seems peaceful for a brief season, I will be looking for the Savior that came to wreck my world...my life...what I actually find contentment in...and in where I place my hope.

My Christmas prayer for you is that His Presence, His Emmanuel (God with us!) will wreck your world too!

Parental Guidance Suggested

I am finally falling in love with I Thessalonians! I have even found the verses that best describe how I approach life, love and ministry. And when I fail to live up to the standard put forth by Paul, Silas and Timothy, they are the guiding beacon by which I can align my heart and passion for serving and living out this Journey upon which my feet have embarked.

"For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit; but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts. For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed-- God is witness-- nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority. But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us...You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory." (I Thessalonians 2:3-8, 10-12, NASB)

It's a long passage, I know. I won't belabor the points I have previously made. (see Entrusted and Smelling Like Sheep) But I had to delve into this a little further with you, because this is my heart...right there on the page. 

I am not a tender mother. My children can attest to this. But I remember the tenderness and joy of nursing my infant children. 

God help me to never run rough-shod over any believer that is new to the faith. I fed my babies on demand, and as your newborns need fed in the timing that You create for their hunger, may I help feed them with the nourishment that You have already provided. May I never demand anything more from them than You are ready to give them. I trust that they will grow in Your timing...not mine.

And yet, at the same time, may I never stop 'exhorting, encouraging, and imploring' each Jesus-follower that You place in my path that they absolutely can "walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls" us.

For Abba, Your grace is beyond measure. Why? Because You never conscript us into service. You never require that we give away all that you have blessed us with...no...but freely I surrender my time...my gifts...and my stuff...because of where you do call me: Your own Kingdom and glory.

These are gifts I cannot repay. My life remains as the only offering that I can lay on the altar of sacrifice. If by my life or my death I can help someone catch just a whisper of the precious Kingdom and glory to which you call each of us...then may it be so.

The family of God.

I remember singing about it as a child. And this week, You've begun prying open my heart to understand. As others have for me, may I nurture and feed as a mother would her own...and like a father, may I radically inspire and call out in others the beauty and grace of the Light in which You want us to sojourn together.

Amen.