Living the Vision, Part 3: God Dwells in the Fullness of Time

**This is part of a series of posts that are a more in-depth look at a lesson I recently taught to a group of women in our church. To read the additional posts, you can easily access them by clicking on the links at the bottom of the page or in the body of this text. **

I've already shared with you that about three to four years ago, God gave me a vision that I wholeheartedly believe He will fulfill someday...in this life or in the life to come. Yet, at the time He clarified this vision in me, our physical lives looked nothing like it.

Since receiving this "plan" from Him, I have been content to wait upon His timing because of the confidence that it would one day transpire...even if I had to wait for Jesus' return. In the past, though, I would have constantly been looking for potential homes, properties or other opportunities to finagle my way into making God's plan happen in my timing...not His. I take no credit for the growth of my life in this area. It is completely His doing.

Every time the Vision has come to mind, I have been content to wait, or follow His leading. I like to call it "whispers and glimmers" of a hope from God's Spirit that one day, this Vision would become reality. I have always been thrilled to receive these little reminders or confirmations that He is still heading me down the path toward this Vision.

Such was the case in late October and early November 2013. Those little stirrings were coming up again and I followed the path I was certain He was laying out before me. Besides, it just made wonderfully perfect economic sense to buy a cheap home, even if it needed a lot of renovations, than to continue to pay up to two times the amount in rent every month.

So we started to do the usual things, like contact a realtor, look at a few properties and make inquiries into financing. We thought we were at a place in our lives when buying a house would be a viable option. To be honest, the homes we were looking at, even our realtor was scared to enter. But I have always believed, God can bring beauty out of any ashes.

Then the door was slammed shut. At least for another year or more.

Now...how I would normally respond to such news would be to spiral downward into a very dark place, consumed with my hyper-analytical spin on over-assessing my motives, my discernment of the Spirit's leading, not to mention the guilt and shame that would consume me in regards to past events that we had little to no control over. What does this look like? Well, it's not pretty, let me tell you. It would have been an obsessive tirade of questions like:

Did I misunderstand You?
Was this all just my imagination running wild?
Did I miss a sign?
Did I not follow You when You led in a different direction?

This could have gone on for months. And could ultimately lead to the question at the root of all the doubt:
Why did You dangle this "carrot" in front of me, only to yank it away when I thought it was just within my reach? 

Resentment toward God could have very easily set in.

But...I believe...divinely timed while I was in the Beth Moore Bible study of Believing God...when I am being reminded every week to believe BIG, pray BIG and believe that "God is who He says He is and God will do what He says He can do"...upon receiving what could have been soul-crushing news...I spoke out loud to Him that I would not stop believing Him and I claimed that I knew the Vision He has for my life would one day become reality.

Within a few hours time, I had relayed the information to my husband and uncharacteristically did not regurgitate all of my mental processing out loud to him. I think he was a bit bewildered at only receiving the facts. Just a few minutes later, after he'd left the room, I sat alone with the Holy Spirit and again affirmed that I believed Him and the Vision He had given me.

What happened next are precious moments during which I can recall nothing physically that was taking place, but His Spirit was so close and so real that I remember every Word He whispered and every Hope He instilled.

First He reminded me of the verse He has repeatedly given to me in regards to this Vision. It has been taped on my bathroom mirror since at least August 2011. I have blogged about this verse (see Wait For It...Oh Snap! and A Heavy Heart) and have prayed it and claimed it time and time again. But just that week prior, Beth Moore had taught me to not only pray it, but speak it out loud. Because Scripture is the divinely inspired Word of God, to speak it out loud is to speak with His authority and power.

That night, I needed some Spirit-infused power.

I spoke the following out loud:

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time;
It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay." (Habakkuk 2:3)

In the way that only He can do, that night He led me to notice all of the timing references. And then He reminded me that He dwells in the fullness of time. This is how the blood sacrifice of Jesus was once for all...past, present and future.

I've understood this..I think...for awhile. But that night, He made it real. What I knew He was speaking to my soul is this:  When He thinks of me, or when He sees the Vision He has for my life, or in His "minds' eye"...honestly, I don't know what words to put on this idea because I am limited by words.

However you say it doesn't matter. What matters, is that for Him the Vision for my life is already done!

It's complete.

There is nothing more that needs added to it.

This hit me full on and I knew there was no going back. So once again, I claimed His promise and Vision out loud and said:

Okay...I believe You. For You the Vision is complete

And that's when the fun began...



Come back in a day or two to find out what He did next. It's not that I want to leave you hanging. It is just so BIG that to do it justice requires a few posts all its own.


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For more in this series:
Part 1- God Still Gives Visions and Dreams

Part 2- This Life as We Know It...

Why Do I Do It?

Doubt.

If you back up and look at posts over the last month or so, you'll remember how I've been struggling. But last Thursday, I shared how I was going to be Hanging On and not letting go of God, no matter what. Well guess what? As He always does...He provided once again. Truly...I am deeply ashamed at my lack of faith. The words of the father who wanted his son to be healed by Jesus echo frequently within my heart and mind. "I believe...Forgive my unbelief!" Yep, I quoted it many times over the last week.

And the theme that keeps coming back over and over again, is ceaseless praise. Scripture says to do it in many places and last week I had to "just do it". Whether I felt like it or not...whether we had what we need or not...whether God was obvious or not...I just had to make myself praise Him. I know He's teaching me this lesson of "praising Him for who He is and not for what He does." I'm just struggling to learn the difference.

After all, what He does is so closely tied to who He is that I can't always tell where one ends and the other begins. For example, He loves us and chooses grace instead of zapping us with lightning bolts when we sin. Well, I should praise Him because God is Love...but honestly, I praise Him because of what He does in this example. I guess, I'm actually praising Him for what He doesn't do...zap me. That's a simplistic example maybe, but hopefully, you get the idea.

Bottom line...I chose to hang on and not let go and some days that involved simply thanking Him for a comfy bed; non-stylish clothes on my back; food on the table; an old van with a little gas in it; a good day of home schooling the kids and so many free schooling resources on the Internet; that the electricity was still on and we could choose to even use the A/C; that we are within walking distance of our bank and a grocery store if we need it; that my husband has stuck with me all these years even though I'm a tough bird to live with; and that even though times are tough...we're still richer than at least 50% of the world.

Comparing myself to the standard set by this culture will never bring contentment. Instead, I was already taking the advice of Habakkuk 3:17-19a and not coincidentally, it was one of the references for Jesus Calling that I read a few days ago:

"Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the LORD. 
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength..."

Lesson for the summer? No matter the circumstances...still I will praise Him!
Amen!

Thankful for the Privilege

This time of year, we Americans, focus on being thankful. We have a holiday for it, in fact...Thanksgiving Day. It used to be a bigger deal when I was a kid, but now it gets shoved aside because everything Christmas, including music and Santa, comes out in our stores the day after Halloween. Many purists fight to give Thanksgiving Day it's rightful place. They refuse to decorate for Christmas, listen to the radio stations that play all Christmas music and won't even buy Christmas presents until the day after Thanksgiving. And this year, I've noticed a large number of my Facebook friends posting the reasons why they're thankful. Many are even trying to post something new daily.

These posts have ranged from coffee to a warm bed to sleep in. Thanks for friends, family, church, small groups, favorite restaurants, safety, employment, and various other blessings have been offered throughout the month.

Do you notice the things that are missing?

I have yet to see anyone say "Thankful that my husband lost his job this year", "Thankful that we're living hand to mouth with nothing to spare", "Thankful that my parent passed away", "Thankful for being brought up in a broken home", "Thankful that my kids are doing poorly in school", "Thankful for being falsely accused of wrongdoing" or "Thankful that my marriage is falling apart". You may be thinking, "Is she thankful she's losing her mind?" Why would we be thankful for the nasty stuff in our lives...the pain...the grief...the burdens...the "yuck"?

Glad you asked! Please do not think that I make light of anyone's pain! Here's what I read last week in Habakkuk:
"Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord GOD is my strength..." (Hab. 3:17-19a, NASB)

I intended to write these verses down on an index card and put it on my bathroom mirror last week, but the day got away from me and I never got back to doing it. Well, I guess God wanted me to remember this lesson, because it was one of the Scripture references for Jesus Calling today.

Both times I've read this Scripture, I've been reminded of a "crisis" point that God brought me to back in May 2010. I'd had dinner with someone and they said something like, 'I wish your family could just get a break.' It wasn't me, it had to be the Holy Spirit who in that moment gave me the ability to reply, "Being completely dependent on God for absolutely everything...I can't imagine a better place to be."

A day or so later as I reflected on that conversation, I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude...I think like I've never experienced before...and I soon found myself face down on my floor, sobbing and telling God, "Thank You for the privilege of living this life." This life in which others can see You working. This life in which others can see Your Hand of provision. This life that may have lost everything material...but has culminated in the opposite of Jesus' warning: "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" (Matthew 16:26, NASB)

I still vividly remember that day and look back on it as a day when I put a "stake in the ground" that keeps me focused on God...not on self-pity or wallowing. I can't truthfully say I've never doubted or struggled since that day...because in many ways our circumstances are even worse than they were on that day in May 2010, but self-pity and wallowing have no longer been the prevailing attitude hanging over my life since I humbly submitted and thanked God for the privilege of all we've gone through.

Now, I readily admit that losing everything financially and not knowing where the money for bills is going to come from is a far cry from many of the trials that others have faced. There is deep nastiness in many of our lives for which we could never dream of being thankful...or is that just our own perception of our trials?

This has challenged me the last few days, and particularly since I read these verses in Habakkuk again this morning. So today I thought back over some of the no good, awful, very bad...yes, nasty...stuff that has happened in my life. I intentionally even tried to think of the things that have happened through no fault of my own...the things for which our culture would say we are the "victim": issues with pettiness from others in my past (sometimes not directed at me, but at people I loved); my past grievances with the way I was raised; the loss of two children through miscarriage; my dad's sin that robbed my children of a typical grandfather relationship; the death of my father-in-law before two of our children where even born; my grandmother attempting to turn into her driveway and being run over by a man that had admittedly smoked pot recently; and yes, the loss of our home, half of our stuff, our car and the lifestyle with which we were comfortable...and this is only the beginning.

Today...I chose to thank God for ALL of it...the good...the bad...and the downright ugly. And the things that are too personal to even put here...yeah, I thank Him for those too! Why? Because even if it seems like there was absolutely no redeeming value to what I went through (even though with almost all of these there is!)...the thing to be thankful for is that He brought me through it.  It didn't kill me...and what's that saying? "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger."

And if I truly believe that anything God allows to happen to me is for my good and His glory...then there has to be good for me in each of these. If I'm growing stronger in Him and He's able to shape me into becoming more like the woman He created me to be...that is to His glory (revealing His true character).  I was even able to share a little of this lesson with my kids this morning and we talked about even the loved ones that we've lost...we can be confident it was for their good because they now stand before their God complete and worshipping Him for all eternity.

What did Paul assure us? "For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison..." (2 Corinthians. 4:17, NASB) Even if the rest of my life is spent suffering one trial after another...this is "momentary" and "light" compared with the heaviness of the weight of glory when we stand before our God for all of eternity.

Do you think Abraham Lincoln grasped this when he legalized Thanksgiving as a national holiday? Southern states began seceding right after his election. He's the only U.S. President to come to Washington for his inauguration in the cover of night. He's the only one to serve over a divided nation for his entire term. He was assassinated before the final end to the Civil War. He never knew a day of complete peace during his presidency. Yet, in 1863...in the midst of the bloodiest fighting this nation has ever known...while small towns lost an entire generation of young men...our country celebrated it's first nationally declared holiday of Thanksgiving. I can't think of a worse time in our nation's history to officially celebrate being thankful...but we did!

So I challenge you...it won't be easy...and it will take intentional thought, much prayer, and an openness to giving up some of your wounds and scars. In other words, this is something that could turn your way of thinking completely upside down...but the things which have happened to you and/or your family...for which the world says you deserve to be hurt, depressed, maybe even bitter...on this day, you feel God's Holy Spirit leading you to thank Him for how He has moved and worked in your life through that situation. You may choose to just start with the most recent circumstance and let Him lead you from there.

Two things I can absolutely guarantee you if you allow Him to lead you to do this:

1. It will be one of the most difficult spiritual exercises you will ever do, and
2. You will experience His Spirit as Comforter in a whole new way.

And do not forget..."where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mentioned in this post:

A Meditation

Over the weekend, I felt like Holy Spirit was giving me a "nudge" in a new direction. I became aware of how every day I as I'm spending a lot of time pouring out my concerns to Him...I'm not spending much time listening to Him. This is similar to what Sarah Young speaks of in her introduction to Jesus Calling. So I wondered what would happen if I just asked Holy Spirit to guide me to a passage or verse in the Bible to meditate on and then I sat quietly, what would He say?

Keep in mind, this is a hodge-podge of things He's laid on my heart over the last several months and pulls from various verses He's led me to recently. On Monday, as I read through Habakkuk 2 again and sat quietly before Him, an interesting thing happened...I began writing my thoughts. In my journal, the first few lines are from my, first person, perspective but then it seemed His thoughts became mine and I think this is what He wanted me to hear:

(It begins with me...) "The knowledge of Your glory will cover the earth like the waters cover the sea! Amen! (Hab. 2:14). I never want to go back to Law- but only by the gospel of Your grace!" (Galatians 3)
(Then it becomes not just my thoughts...)
"Treat Your body as My Temple!
The day you think this isn't a battle, satan already has a foothold. Take up your shield. Always go for the shield!
You will be reproved...but I will gently guide you back to My path. That is true discipline.
My faithfulness, My really, real reality, endures forever- the rest of this is just a smokescreen, a facade...people searching for Me, yet painstakingly satisfying it with other things. Yet they will never be satisfied because it isn't reality. It is falsehood and indulgence and it pacifies the brain but only temporarily. Everyone who's ever existed has been on a quest to find Me and My utopia...but it's not a place...it's a Person and He can only be found when He is sought with all your heart.
Come to Me and rest in My reality, My faithfulness--that is where you will find true peace--not  a false peace of TV, video games, vacations and pleasures. The man of God serving in the bush, passionately seeking Me, though his belly is empty and his clothes are threadbare, he has more peace than the wealthiest man in the world!"

I know this seems to ramble...but that's the way I talk too! It's interesting what He said when I just waited for Him to speak instead of coming to Him with my agenda of concerns to cover. Actually, on that day I think I just summed them all up by saying, 'You know what's on my heart and as they come up throughout the day help me to release them to You. But right now, I just want to hear what You have to say.' I'm glad I listened...He apparently had a lot He wanted to share!

A Heavy Heart

I e-mailed a friend yesterday and expressed my heaviness of heart. Yes, I still believe God wants us to be Weightless and daily I'm still attempting to turn all of my concerns and confessions to Him because I know He has the perfect answer and the perfect guidance for me and everyone...so why not give it to Him, right?

But for about 24 hours now, as I've been reflecting over the concerns for which others ask me to pray, I have to admit, it does feel a little overwhelming. I know God can take care of all things in a way that is for our good and His glory when we call Him Father and Lord...but my finite brain can't see how...and that's where I get stuck...that's when I need faith to take over.

And praise His name, here's where He gently led me to again this morning...Habakkuk 2:3.

This has become one of my favorite verses. When Holy Spirit first intersected my life with this verse, I even blogged about it. (See "Wait For It...Oh Snap!") Apparently the same day that I wrote that post, I wrote in the margin of my Bible, "Do not doubt His vision to me. It will happen at His appointed time. "Wait for it"" Expectantly hope. B. Moore- "Biblical hope is not focused on what might happen but what must happen." (LBY)

My heart was heavy this morning. Some of the many items I had on my heart to pray for included a family that is feeling major financial strain due to medical bills; a mom who may not have heating oil the next time she turns on her furnace; an expectant mom that is going without electricity this weekend (although Praise God! she did discover one outlet working and is making the most of it!), a mom that is feeling pressure from her ex over the kids and where they'll spend the holidays; our own financial strains (although I've learned to be content and hopeful in this area...just having to be very picky about where to spend is a constant issue); and add to all of this the number of single moms that are being brought to our attention (we know more than 20 now, directly and indirectly) on a more regular basis that experience constant financial stress and yes, my heart was experiencing it's fair share of sorrow this morning.

I never want to compare my stress or life to that of what my Savior, Jesus went through...but at times like this, I think I am being given just a meager glimpse at how He must have felt...knowing that God would take care of Him and at the same time grieving for so many that are still lost or under huge pressures and grief sometimes not even of their own doing. This morning as I was considering all of these, I was asking Holy Spirit to lead me to His thoughts about their concerns...not my thoughts.

That's when He reminded me of Habakkuk 2:3. I have most of it memorized, so I began saying it in my head:
"For the vision is yet for the appointed time;
It hastens (pants) toward the goal and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay." (emphasis mine)

As I thanked God for reminding me of this Scripture and how He has repeatedly used it to strengthen my faith and courage over the last few months, I felt specifically led to read it in the context of the whole chapter. This verse has meant so much to me regarding Boundless Ministries and the vision I believe He has given and is giving to me that it was enough. As far as I was concerned...this verse is complete.

I am thankful for a God who's word is alive, active and still moving in the hearts of men (and women!). Yes, His Word is complete. But because it is also alive...He uses it in various applications at different times in our lives. Today...He wanted me to read the whole chapter. I now encourage you to do so as well...Habakkuk 2

Now, I grew up in a church and I'm 43 years old. I probably have, but I don't ever remember, hearing a sermon that was built around Habakkuk. (Mental note: this is probably the next book for a personal inductive study). If you clicked on the link and did read the chapter...what do you see, hear or even feel? What are the emotions that come up? I know this was written to the nation of Israel...but we are told that "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9) Does the nation that Habakkuk is describing sound familiar?

Please don't put me on some government watch list...I'm not subversive or unpatriotic by any means...but can we grow up, face our flaws and admit that we are a nation that 'does not stay at home (not houses but our own territory) and enlarges our appetites like Sheol' (Hebrew word for underworld or abode of the dead)? In verse 6 do we not make ourselves "rich with loans?" (both personal and as a nation) What is the warning in verse 7? Yikes! Actually, verses 7 through 13 downright scare me when I think that this could be us.

But in verse 14 comes the most amazing promise:
"For the earth will be filled
With the knowledge of the glory (His true character) of the LORD,
As the waters cover the sea."

No matter how far we stray as a people, from the creation that He designated us to be...the knowledge of who God really, truly is will still fill the earth just like the waters that cover the sea. That's a lot of cover! Praise Him!

Go on and read the rest of the chapter...it's not a pretty picture. The "cup" in verse 16 is the cup of God's wrath that "will come around to you". Verse 18...there are so many idols we as a people worship that we can't even begin to count them (even in the church...yeah, get your toes back...we're all getting stepped on here!) And He reminds us that those idols that have been fashioned by our own hands are hollow and void. But what isn't? That's right (verse 20)...'just hush...because the LORD is in His holy temple.' Smile loved one...because if you are a Jesus follower "Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" (I Corinthians 3:16, emphasis mine)

If that doesn't get your heart a-pumpin' go back and read it again!

When the whole earth is crumbling all around us...when everyone we know is being weighted down by the evil that is trying so desperately to overtake us...when everyone around us is struggling with one or more idols...when we live in a culture that is so twisted by its idols that they infiltrate our very churches...when someday God's cup of wrath will be poured out on the nations (if you don't believe this, read the back of the Book!)...just HUSH...because the Ineffable One...the One that we are so puny compared to, we can't even get what to call Him into a word...yes, that One...is still in His holy temple...you!!!

What am I supposed to do in the waiting? Where am I supposed to turn while so many are in pain and distress around me?

"I will stand on my guard post
And station myself on the rampart;
And I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me,
And how I may reply when I am reproved." (Habakkuk 2:1)

OH! Praise His Name! He is SO good to us...too good, in fact! All we have to do is stand on guard...wait for Him on the walls...keep vigilant watch...wait to see what He will speak to us...and He will teach us even how to reply when we are gently corrected.

What a deal! What a God! I know I am belaboring the point...but WOW...the whole entire world as we know it can be crumbling around us and He just asks that we stand on guard, to be alert and watch for Him...and listen to Him. When we do...we can be absolutely confident that God is in "the house"!

I don't think my heart is quite as heavy now!

Amen!

I Have a Confession...

I am a grumbler!

Now, to those of you that know me...this is no great revelation. But I am so thankful and grateful to a God who knows our flaws, reveals them to us and patiently waits for us to be confronted with His awesome Truth so we can get about the business of ridding our lives of these flaws that do not reflect Him.

Such was my morning today. Although I've known for years, if not decades, that this is one of my greatest flaws, I have often felt helpless to change this very deep-rooted issue. I mean it's so deep that it goes back three generations before me that I know of...possibly more. I've always known that being critical is one of my biggest hangups and that it can very easily manifest itself as depression, negativity, pessimism,  dissension, strife, gossip and anger. And while God has patiently and lovingly worked on each of these areas in my life, I became distinctly aware this morning just how pervasive my grumbling is. I even confessed to God that to cut this out of my life will be like losing a close relative. I know warped, right?

I kept thinking all of the nitpicking & fighting that my kids do has got to stop...and it does...but yesterday and today, I came face to face with how I am the root of this whole issue. My grumbling, my ranting, my negativity paints a picture for my family that they mold themselves into. And while I may be completely justified in most of my criticism, it makes everyone else in our family look through lenses of doubt, criticism and negativity...and that is not how God wants us to live.

So this was the revelation for today and why I believe Holy Spirit has brought me to the final crossroads on this issue. From this point forward, I cannot deny the Truth, I cannot pretend I do not know. No...today, I have to choose to walk in the Light of His Truth or stand in direct disobedience to Him (yes, sin!). And as I fervently prayed this morning, "Lord, I want to be a doer of the Word...not just a hearer. Give me a teachable spirit because I don't want to continue living this way."

In Jesus Calling, I read: "You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent. Though you have faltered at times, you have not let go of My hand. I am pleased with your desire to stay close to Me. There is one thing, however, that displeases Me: your tendency to complain. You may talk to Me as much as you like about the difficulty of the path we are following. I understand better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you. You can ventilate safely to Me, because talking with Me tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective.

Complaining to others is another matter altogether. It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage. Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out. As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart." (I've underlined the portions that hit me square between the eyes.)

Yes...I do want to have His thoughts in my mind and His song in my heart! And I want my kids to quit grumbling...so it has to start with me, right? Right!

Just so neither I, nor anyone else can say that the passage above is merely a woman's rambling thoughts, I love that the author puts Scripture references on each page. Today's were exactly the ones with which I needed to be confronted. Jeremiah 31:25 "For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." and Philippians 2:14-15 "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."

In my Bible, the Jeremiah passage has a cross reference to Jeremiah 31:12-14 which says God's bounty will make me radiant, my soul will have abundance and I can be satisfied with God's goodness. So each day, as I'm looking at what we have (or don't have), I need to talk to God about my concerns, frustrations, etc. and He "tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective." (Jesus Calling) From God's perspective, I have enough for today. Amen!

The Philippians passage had a cross reference to 1 Corinthians 10:10 which is referring to the Israelites and how their grumbling caused the destroyer to destroy them. Yikes! There have been days recently when I feel like our family is being destroyed by the grumbling and complaining. And where have they learned it? Who has set the standard? Yep...it's me!

And a direct reference to being a child of God is Ephesians 5:1, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children..." To imitate God and demonstrate myself as His child means to give up the grumbling right? Of course! What is the result? “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; ¹⁵ nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ¹⁶ Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

There it is. I've even experienced recently the pure shock at being confronted with another critical person at my tax prep classes. I came away from that experience realizing just how much God has changed me already. But now it's time to go even deeper...so that the ones who know me best and see me the most recognize the difference of the Holy Spirit in my life...particularly in the area of grumbling and complaining.

Now our church is all about making yourself accountable to someone when there's an area in your life where you want to grow and change. So today, I sat down with the four people who know me best and know my worst. These four have put up with a lot from me over the course of their young lives...and yet, they love me still. So who better to hold me accountable than my kids.

I realize I've set myself up to be corrected by my children...and I've asked them to do it in a kind, loving way...but even if they harshly reprimand me when I grumble, I pray that as I'm humbled by the reminder, I will remain thankful to a God who knows my every flaw and yet doesn't grumble against me. I pray that as Holy Spirit changes me,  my children will sense the change and the prevailing attitude of criticism to each other is healed. But most of all, I just pray that I become such a good imitator of God that no one doubts I am His child.

Wait For It...Oh Snap!

A few months ago, my kids were quoting several lines from Bolt over and over again. Their favorite was a scene with some pigeons and the lines went something like this:
1st pigeon:  "Wait for it..."
2nd pigeon: "Aliens"
1st pigeon: "Oh, snap!"

If you haven't seen the movie, you won't find this as humorous as my kids do. I tried to find a clip on YouTube, but the only one was a bootleg taping off of ABC Family Channel. But if you've seen the movie, then you get the gist.

Why all of this pedantic (Yes, that is a word) backstory to my post? Because this scene immediately came to mind today when Holy Spirit was teaching me about patience. I'm not going to reveal all the details as to why this is so significant. Suffice it to say, I really needed this lesson today! Honestly, I had a poopy attitude and it needed adjusting. (yes, I'm a parent...so I can say poopy!)

When I opened up my Bible study today, this was the first thing I read: "Have you ever known a serene person who never passed judgment on others? How often do the failures, emotions, or outright sins of someone else ruin your peace of mind? What would it be like if you refused to allow the behavior of others to spoil your day?" (Beth Moore, Living Beyond Yourself)

Great questions! And just exactly what I needed to read today! I sat weepy most of the lesson thinking over a conversation I'd just had with Dale an hour before. A perfectly timed e-mail from a friend today was used by the Holy Spirit to convict me of my pride, arrogance and doubt that God would provide HIS way...not mine. And then Beth Moore starts talking about hope. Hope is not just wishful thinking..."Biblical hope is not focused on what might happen, but what must happen." (emphasis mine)

God must provide for us and this ministry He has laid on our hearts. How dare I say He must, right? Well, He's commanded us in James 1:27 to take care of  widows and orphans. There are multitudes of other commands in His Scriptures that tell us to take care of the poor and defend the helpless. So if I'm going to follow His commands, one of them also being Matthew 6:25-34 that tells me not to worry about food, drink and clothing as long as I "seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness"...then is it that BIG of a leap when we're not making very much money to assume that He must provide for us and His ministry to single moms that He's called us to? So, yes...I have hope that "He will do what He says He will do" (That's in another Beth Moore study, Believing God).

One of the Scriptures for the lesson was Hebrews 10:35. In parentheses, I'm going to insert the cross-reference my Bible had for the word "confidence". "Therefore, do not throw away your confidence ("to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus"- Hebrews 10:19) which has a great reward." I wept as I recalled my same e-mail friend sending me a message about 1 1/2 weeks ago telling me that she would  "approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16) This was in regard to a prayer request for our family.

At this point I'm already duly chastised, yet thankful for God's patience with me in this lesson of trust and confidence in Him. Then in my cross-references, I found another verse. Turns out I was looking in the "wrong" place...but not really...God's words leapt out of His Word and into my heart as I read:

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time;
It hastens* toward the goal and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay." --Habakkuk 2:3
(*another word for hastens in my side notes is "pants". Great word picture! The vision "pants" toward the goal!)

I'm still teary, three hours later. There it was. I don't know the context of this verse, but today...it was written for me. He has given me a vision for the appointed time. It will not fail as the vision hastens toward the goal, even when I think it is slow (or different than how I believed it would happen!)...the vision  will certainly come...the vision will not delay, it will be in His perfect timing. What did I think when I read this? You guessed it..."wait for it...Oh snap!"


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