You know that time in your day when you're all alone with God and you tell Him something like this: 'I surrender my thoughts, my day, my actions to You. I want You to have absolute control because I know I'll just make a mess of things. I want to hear You, see You working. I want to see Your power and Your glory. I want everything that goes into and out of my mouth to glorify You. I want my hands to serve how You want and my feet to go where You lead.'
Well, if like me, you attempt to say some variant of this everyday...you are abdicating control of your life to God (as we should) and in a way, I feel like I'm saying...'No matter what may come today, I'll be ready with You in control.'
Last night I had another reminder that if this is something you're going to pray...you'd better mean it!
Case and point: I meet my friend, Lori, once a month to chit-chat and discuss how we're doing in a lot of different areas in our lives. But...it always comes back to God. Funny thing...as I look back...I'd been sharing with Lori how I feel at a loss for how to serve, where to serve and when to serve. I went on to relate that I feel called to be around the poor and continue meeting with and helping single moms.
But there's no "program" that I feel drawn to. Either because we can't serve as a family, or if we can serve as a family, my children are still young enough that they won't let us serve around their clientele. We
were blessed to serve at the
Henry Hosea House for a year...but we never met anyone that was served by this ministry. I don't want this because I somehow deserve gratitude. No, I want relationship and to hear the life stories of those with whom and for whom we are serving.
My conclusion to Lori last night was that I need to be more intentional about a few ideas I've already been given and that I just need to take any other opportunities as they arise. Actually, I'm not certain I spoke the second part out loud, but I know I've been thinking it.
Just as a reminder...I've already asked God earlier in my day that He would give me the power, the will and even the words if an opportunity arises and here I am with my friend reiterating in my heart and mind that maybe my service for now won't be structured but as God provides it.
God has a great sense of humor, doesn't He?
The conversation turned and I went on to talk with Lori about my shock at how some of my former co-workers, that I know don't make much money, are also prejudiced against the so-called "Entitlement Programs" that we hear so much about in the news. I guess I wrongly assumed that the working poor would mostly empathize with those that need assistance. And right in the middle of this conversation, lo and behold this 20-something young man walks over to us and said he "couldn't help but overhear part of your conversation."
My first thought was, 'Oh, no...I'm going to get in trouble for being too loud in the library.' (the place where we were meeting...there is a more social atmosphere at this one than most.)
But alas, that wasn't the problem...instead it was that this political science student wanted to set us straight (really just me, since I was talking) about how broken our government is; how we need to overhaul the whole system; how all the ills of society can be traced back to Democrat presidents; and how the economy will absolutely be belly-up by 2020.
Seriously...this was a 10-15 minute conversation that started out on his knees before us and after a few minutes grabbed a chair and joined us. There wasn't much I could say other than state how assistance like the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) had at times helped us put shoes on our kids feet, tires on our car and food on our table. Thus presenting my case that
some people are working hard and trying to make a living and just need a little help. I also pointed out that the greatest increase and expansion of the EITC was under the Reagan administration. He replied that he knew this and that Reagan was a Republican. So honestly, I don't know where he stood on anything...except that he was obviously angry about the mess he's inheriting.
I even agreed with him on a few points. But after a several minutes into the conversation, I discovered that I was praying. I'd never experienced anything like this. I was praying for God's words and direction and became aware of it mid-sentence. This truly was the Holy Spirit interceding for me when I didn't know how to pray
(see Romans 8:26).
In that moment though, I realized there wasn't anything that I could say to change his heart so "God give me just
one seed to plant...just
one!" I think He did.
I always try to find the humor in everything...it's a gift that God has used richly in my life and last night I believe was one more opportunity. In the midst of this young man's diatribe against our world as we know it, I said, "Then you know what you need to do?" He looked dumbfounded. "You need to be Amish." Blank look for the first time from this brilliant (in his mind) young man and a reply of, "But I don't want to be Amish."
"They pay into a community fund," I added, "not social security, and if someone is injured they go to the emergency room or wherever and ask how much the hospital will except in cash and to write off the rest." He reiterated, "I don't want to be Amish."
But...and here's how my humor is a gift from God...it disarmed him and stopped him to take a breath just long enough for the Holy Spirit to form the thought in my mind and get the words on my tongue, "Well, there
is a movement among Christians to start paying into collective community "pools" like this. It's sort of a "social tithe" and they take care of each other when someone has a need. His reply? "Huh. I hadn't heard of that," (the first thing so far in the conversation that he didn't already know, I might add.) He went on, "I kind of like that idea."
[Ahhh...sweet seed of Truth...I have no doubt in God's timing, you will grow! Admittedly, immediately following the conversation, I didn't see any value in it. Upon reflection with God's Spirit, I see there was.]
We had another minute or so of give and take before the library began to close and we all got up to leave. He introduced himself and asked our names, shook our hands, said it was a pleasure to meet us, put his chair back and was off. As we gathered up our things and he did his, he even said as he headed toward the door, "You ladies have a nice evening."
There was
much more to this conversation and some of his ideas about how to fix the system were disturbing and honestly, fall right in line with the mentality of Nazi Germany. Sort of a 'if you're not a productive member of society, we'll
make you one.' His take on this was forcing medication on those that are bi-polar, ADD, and I'm assuming others that "need" it so they can hold down jobs. This is just one example.
But bottom line, I came away knowing that God is true to what He says.
- It's been decades since I engaged in conversation/debate like this with a non-Christian...yet, I still need to be prepared, because I never know when it will drop in my lap.
- Ask God to show me where He's working and He'll give me the chance to join in.
- Tell Him I want His thoughts and He'll give them when I need them.
- Tell Him that my hands and feet want to serve wherever He leads and the library might turn into one of my biggest battlegrounds.
- Trust in His power and strength alone...because there's absolutely no way I can see all that is going on behind the scenes.
- Trust Him for the results. The seed I planted may not sprout for a very long time...but when it does, the Spirit will be right there watering it and shining His light of truth upon it.
Ask Him to give you opportunity to love and share in His Name...even in a tiny way...and He will...trust me...I know.