The Widow of Zarephath

My friend, a single mom of 3, sent me an e-mail last week expressing her desperate need for heating oil. We sent out an Urgent Request for prayer regarding her need. I knew God's people had been praying...I knew I'd been praying, but on October 29th, I shared how my heart was heavy with so many requests (see "A Heavy Heart"). By Sunday morning as I was 'standing on my guard post and keeping watch for what He will speak to me' (Habakkuk 2:1), I had the thought that we had the $25 in Boundless Ministry funds to repair the fuel gauge for this mom's oil tank.

We hadn't even included this in the prayer requests because that seemed like a minor thing compared to the urgent need for fuel. She didn't even know how low her fuel was because the gauge wasn't registering anything. And as soon as I thought about fixing her fuel gauge...Holy Spirit did a wonderful thing...He reminded me of the Widow of Zarephath.

I Kings 17:1-16 tells the story of Elijah's prediction of drought over the land. First, God sent Elijah to camp out by the brook Cherith and the ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening. I recently read, (I think it was in the book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day) that ravens are notorious for neglecting to care for their young...but God can redirect the natural, inbred inclination of any animal (yes, even humans!) to do His will for His glory! That's an amazing story in and of itself. But it only gets better...

After a while, even the brook Cherith dries up and God comes to Elijah and says, “Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and stay there; behold, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you.” Elijah meets the widow and asks her for a drink of water (remember...it hasn't rained for years...this water would not have been easy to come by!). As she is going to get it, he yells after her to give him a piece of bread too. And here is her reply:  “As the LORD your God lives, I have no bread, only a handful of flour in the bowl and a little oil in the jar; and behold, I am gathering a few sticks that I may go in and prepare for me and my son, that we may eat it and die.” (verse 12) Elijah reassures her and says 'Go ahead...but make a little cake for me too. Because God has said your flour will not run out and your jar of oil will not run dry until it rains again.'

She did as Elijah requested and they ate together for many days.

Praise His Name! This is what Holy Spirit reminded me of on Sunday morning (it just takes a lot longer to type it out here!) and He added, "Don't fix her fuel gauge...let's go on faith that the oil will not run dry until she has the money to buy more." Ahhh! What a God we serve!

Ohhh...but it just keeps getting better...

I shared this with my friend Sunday night. I told her that we could get her fuel gauge fixed, but God said not to yet...that I was going to have faith that it would not run out until she had the money to get more oil. I also told her that I've been praying to God that we are desperate for Him to come through. I'm not sure how she took in all of this...she has a great spirit and can laugh at the worst of times...but she was having a really low moment over a lot of different issues. Regardless of all that's been happening,  she chuckled and went along with what I was saying anyway.

Then, Monday morning, I wrote this in my journal: "Lord, (mom of 3) desperately needs Your provision and it does not have to come thru us (Boundless Ministries) it needs to come thru You! I just want to hear about it so I can praise You along with her! She needs oil. She needs 4 credit hours to finish her Associates Degree. She needs peace. She needs You!"

About an hour or two later, I logged onto my e-mail and I had a notification of a donation received through Paypal! And it was enough to cover her heating oil! Even two days later...I'm still choking back the tears thinking about how our God works!

Now, in all honesty, I'd been in contact with the donors over a few days and knew they might be donating some money. But I didn't know how much and neither of us had put a timetable on when...so I'd never mentioned it to my friend. I also don't like to "count chickens before they hatch", especially in regards to building up someone else's hopes. So, I truly was not certain of a donation at all when I wrote that prayer in my journal. I also know to compare my friend to the widow of Zarephath may put off some people. After all, she is not a widow...but she has experienced the death of a marriage. We are not living in the midst of a drought or a famine...but there are times that the figurative "brook" runs dry and she is solely dependent upon God's provision.

 But I have to go on...yes...there is even more...

While I am sitting at my kitchen table crunching numbers to see if we'll have enough to cover her oil costs, the phone rings...and it was her! She had some great news to share with me about a possible opportunity that would help to provide for her! She asked me to keep the details under wraps until she knows more. Again, we're not counting those chickens yet! But, I could tell in her voice that she was maybe a little disappointed that I wasn't as excited for her as she thought I would be. There's a few reasons for this: 1. It takes me awhile to process things anymore! (age, I guess!) 2. It almost felt like she "caught" me when the phone rang while I'm researching oil delivery companies on the internet for her, and 3. When I saw the caller ID, my heart stopped and I thought, "She's calling to tell me someone else gave her the money for her heating oil." She wasn't, but all of this combined to make me sound a little less than enthusiastic I'm sure. Although...I genuinely am thankful for how God is putting all of these pieces together for her!

Then today, after having exhausted any hope of getting her fuel to her anonymously, I felt almost sick to my stomach because I don't ever want her to be thankful to me for this donation. It didn't come from us, it didn't even come from the people that donated it...for "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17) Praise God...even when I dropped it off...He took care of my fear of the focus being thrown onto me...she wasn't home! Her boys were, so she'll know I dropped it off...but I told them that it wasn't from me. One of the boys said, with a knowing nod, "Ohhh...it's a secret." Not wanting him to keep secrets from his mom I said, "No...it's really not from us...it's from someone else. So tell her just to be thankful to God for it."

And that's how it should be!

Amen!

Mentioned in the post:

I Have a Confession...

I am a grumbler!

Now, to those of you that know me...this is no great revelation. But I am so thankful and grateful to a God who knows our flaws, reveals them to us and patiently waits for us to be confronted with His awesome Truth so we can get about the business of ridding our lives of these flaws that do not reflect Him.

Such was my morning today. Although I've known for years, if not decades, that this is one of my greatest flaws, I have often felt helpless to change this very deep-rooted issue. I mean it's so deep that it goes back three generations before me that I know of...possibly more. I've always known that being critical is one of my biggest hangups and that it can very easily manifest itself as depression, negativity, pessimism,  dissension, strife, gossip and anger. And while God has patiently and lovingly worked on each of these areas in my life, I became distinctly aware this morning just how pervasive my grumbling is. I even confessed to God that to cut this out of my life will be like losing a close relative. I know warped, right?

I kept thinking all of the nitpicking & fighting that my kids do has got to stop...and it does...but yesterday and today, I came face to face with how I am the root of this whole issue. My grumbling, my ranting, my negativity paints a picture for my family that they mold themselves into. And while I may be completely justified in most of my criticism, it makes everyone else in our family look through lenses of doubt, criticism and negativity...and that is not how God wants us to live.

So this was the revelation for today and why I believe Holy Spirit has brought me to the final crossroads on this issue. From this point forward, I cannot deny the Truth, I cannot pretend I do not know. No...today, I have to choose to walk in the Light of His Truth or stand in direct disobedience to Him (yes, sin!). And as I fervently prayed this morning, "Lord, I want to be a doer of the Word...not just a hearer. Give me a teachable spirit because I don't want to continue living this way."

In Jesus Calling, I read: "You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent. Though you have faltered at times, you have not let go of My hand. I am pleased with your desire to stay close to Me. There is one thing, however, that displeases Me: your tendency to complain. You may talk to Me as much as you like about the difficulty of the path we are following. I understand better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you. You can ventilate safely to Me, because talking with Me tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective.

Complaining to others is another matter altogether. It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage. Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out. As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart." (I've underlined the portions that hit me square between the eyes.)

Yes...I do want to have His thoughts in my mind and His song in my heart! And I want my kids to quit grumbling...so it has to start with me, right? Right!

Just so neither I, nor anyone else can say that the passage above is merely a woman's rambling thoughts, I love that the author puts Scripture references on each page. Today's were exactly the ones with which I needed to be confronted. Jeremiah 31:25 "For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." and Philippians 2:14-15 "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."

In my Bible, the Jeremiah passage has a cross reference to Jeremiah 31:12-14 which says God's bounty will make me radiant, my soul will have abundance and I can be satisfied with God's goodness. So each day, as I'm looking at what we have (or don't have), I need to talk to God about my concerns, frustrations, etc. and He "tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective." (Jesus Calling) From God's perspective, I have enough for today. Amen!

The Philippians passage had a cross reference to 1 Corinthians 10:10 which is referring to the Israelites and how their grumbling caused the destroyer to destroy them. Yikes! There have been days recently when I feel like our family is being destroyed by the grumbling and complaining. And where have they learned it? Who has set the standard? Yep...it's me!

And a direct reference to being a child of God is Ephesians 5:1, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children..." To imitate God and demonstrate myself as His child means to give up the grumbling right? Of course! What is the result? “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; ¹⁵ nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. ¹⁶ Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

There it is. I've even experienced recently the pure shock at being confronted with another critical person at my tax prep classes. I came away from that experience realizing just how much God has changed me already. But now it's time to go even deeper...so that the ones who know me best and see me the most recognize the difference of the Holy Spirit in my life...particularly in the area of grumbling and complaining.

Now our church is all about making yourself accountable to someone when there's an area in your life where you want to grow and change. So today, I sat down with the four people who know me best and know my worst. These four have put up with a lot from me over the course of their young lives...and yet, they love me still. So who better to hold me accountable than my kids.

I realize I've set myself up to be corrected by my children...and I've asked them to do it in a kind, loving way...but even if they harshly reprimand me when I grumble, I pray that as I'm humbled by the reminder, I will remain thankful to a God who knows my every flaw and yet doesn't grumble against me. I pray that as Holy Spirit changes me,  my children will sense the change and the prevailing attitude of criticism to each other is healed. But most of all, I just pray that I become such a good imitator of God that no one doubts I am His child.