A Tale of Two 14 Year Olds

Dickens once wrote, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness" (A Tale of Two Cities) and although I have yet to have the pleasure of reading that great work of fiction, the opening line of this novel has been resonating within me for the last week or so. Allow me to tell you the tale of two very different life trajectories for two 14 year olds.

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One girl dreams of meeting the singer in her favorite band.

The other, dreams of pursuing a technical career.

One girl is in 9th grade.

The other only completed 6th grade.

One girl is schooled at home.

The other no longer attends school due to lack of money.

One girl has three siblings.

The other has six.

One girl is concerned with appearances and sometimes feels awkward.

The other probably doesn't even know what that means.

One girl helps her parents out with chores and earns a little money.

The other went to work at her parents' request to help take care of her siblings.

One girl never cared to play with baby dolls, she preferred stuffed animals.

The other had her first baby in early August 2014.

One girl hopes to start babysitting to earn extra money.

The other works in a brothel.

One girl lives in "The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave".

The other bravely faces each day knowing she will never again be free of public stigma and scorn.

One girl has a world wide open to her of unlimited possibilities to what she can do with her life.

The other has life.

One girl is my daughter.

The other is not.

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I am tired...bone weary tired...of a world that cannot see the fathomless beauty, dignity and promise that every single living soul deserves...NOT because we are worthy, but because of a Heavenly Father who bestows it upon us. He is enraptured with every single one. Since picking up this prayer card for "The other", I cannot let her face...her light...her promise out of my mind. She is worthy of more. Praise God for places like Northwest Haiti Christian Mission who help women caught in the claws of a brothel life. 

But Lord...please raise us all up to claiming this "season of Darkness" one toe hold at a time for Your "season of Light"!

Amen!

Provoking Jealousy

When I started studying Hosea last week with some ladies at my local coffee shop, we talked a lot about harlotry/idolatry as God depicts our sin in Hosea 1. As I'm finishing up Mark Batterson's book, All In, (review soon!) the chapter entitled "The Idol that Provokes to Jealousy" resonated deeply with me. Batterson's referring to Ezekial 8:3 where he sees an idol that provokes jealousy in God.

We are taught to hate that word jealousy, aren't we? After all, we aren't supposed to be jealous of anything right? Batterson writes that God isn't jealous of anything...He's jealous for everything. It's all His to begin with.

Including me.

And you.

He created us for relationship with Him and He jealously protects that relationship to the point that He wants absolutely nothing to stand between He and I. (or you.)

"The idol that provokes to jealousy is anything that diverts our attention from God, our affection for God, or our reliance on God. It's anything that consumes more time or more money than our pursuit of God."

And this:

"Identifying your idols starts with looking at the way you spend your time and spend your money. I can tell you what my priorities are, but if you really want to know what is most important to me, all you have to do is look at my calendar and my checkbook. They don't lie. They reveal what my true priorities are. They will also reveal the idol that provokes to jealousy."

Batterson goes on to write about the hidden rooms of our hearts and what would others see if they could peer inside? Then this is what stopped me up short this morning when I read it:

"If you want to identify your idols, you need to reverse engineer your emotions. Trace the trail of your tears or fears, your cheers or jeers. If you follow it all the way to the trailhead, you'll come face-to-face with the idols in your life." 

Ouch!

What makes or ruins my day?

What produces the strongest emotions in me?

It's not wrong to cheer on my favorite team, or laugh at something I watch...but if those are producing more emotion in me than the things that break the heart of my Savior...then I need to start asking myself some tough questions.

What moves the heart of God is a good place to start.

I Know Hope

In an ongoing effort to spend the money God has given us in the way He would want us to spend it, I am constantly on the lookout for companies or ministries that are 

• environmentally friendly
• practice Fair Trade with their growers, farmers, craftsmen, laborers, etc.
• are not abusing, enslaving or traffiking anyone...or turning a blind eye to such practices
• work toward helping communities and individuals instead of padding the pockets of a few CEOs of multinational corporations

I still have a long way to go, but God is empowering me to one purchase at a time, stop the hopeless, helpless feeling that "I am only one person, so what can I do?" For me, that has become a cop-out that I can no longer excuse. Yes, it means research, diligence, delayed gratification and persistence but it also means my life and spending directly contribute to the well-being of others. I think that's a life Jesus would say is well-lived. Shouldn't that be my goal?

Which brings me to my latest purchase. A purse. I've been looking for one for about three to four months. I could find nothing on Stop Traffick Fashion's website that would fit my needs and budget, but they are usually my go-to place for this sort of thing. I've been babying the free Thirty-One purse that I won a few years ago because the zipper pull kept breaking. Then yesterday, the kids and I served at session for the Hands Against Hunger Million Meal Pack and I had time to peruse their small shop in the factory. I was beyond thrilled to find a messenger style bag (my favorite), upcycled from a used coffee burlap sack, that supports a ministry that is "Meeting the needs of the orphan, the hungry, and the hopeless by providing food, shelter, and other humanitarian efforts both locally and abroad."

Can't beat that, can you?

Sure I paid probably about $10 more than I typically would for a bag like this, but I consider that an investment in someone else's future. I Know Hope has several vendor locations in the Cincinnati area, but you can also order directly from them online. Oh, and by the way...the bag is exactly what I've been looking for and amazing quality too!

I have a friend that tomorrow is also hosting an open house for Redeeming Gifts brothel ministry. 

I am certain that I will spend money that some would say I should save for a "rainy day". But if I can get a jump start on some Christmas shopping and help a woman who currently can only support herself by selling her body for a dollar or two...why would I not do it! 

The point of all of this is not to strive for perfection...but improvement. 

See also, related post A Good Steward, 

Wisdom From My Friend Chandra

Chandra is one of the single moms I am deeply privileged to know. She has not only been caring for her son as a single parent, about two years ago or so, she moved back in with her mother so she could serve her as she began exhibiting signs of dementia and possibly Alzheimer's. Chandra would never take any credit for the amazing way she has been coping with the hand that has been dealt to her...so I'll just say that if you could...you should know her.

One of the things she's great at is sharing with her Facebook friends the lessons she learns on her journey. Last night was a beautiful example and I asked her permission to share it with you.


God's patience is something to really marvel at. I mean for those of us that believe - we trust that He made the sun, moon, stars, and earth and holds it all in place - that He formed us with His own two hands in our mother's wombs and knows each of our days and how many hairs are on our heads yet when problems arise a lot of times our first instinct is to panic and not trust that He sees, hears, or cares, or will work in our favor and we have to fight and struggle to 'work up' this faith to believe that He will indeed help us again, 'this time' ....Didn't He do so the last time? And the time before that? I would've lost patience a LONG time ago with someone that acts as silly as I do with this at times.

I think of how aggravated it would make me if Chase kept coming to me everyday asking and begging in full fright, "Will you feed me again today? Will you clothe me Mom? Will you hold me? Will you tend to and bandage my scrapes and hurts? Will you ever give me snacks or presents? Do you love me? I mean do you REALLY love me? Will you protect me in the storm? Will you shield me from things that might hurt me? Please Mom, will you? Please Mom, I'm begging you" ....I mean, that would hurt (and anger) me so much if he doubted my love for him like that and was that fearful that I wouldn't care for him the very best that I could and do anything and everything in the world to make sure he was safe, happy, healthy, and had everything he needed and more. I mean haven't I proven that to him time and time again? How and why in the world would he doubt me or my love for him like that after all I've done for him?

If God sees fit to give me my very next breath, well, I think we should be able to trust that He will also care about and provide for the rest of my needs.

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. Matthew 7:9-11

Dishonor

This is a tough one...but I'll try. The tough thing about this topic is not writing about it...it's keeping my temper in check. Curious? Read on. Not in the mood to look in the mirror? Stop reading here and come back when you're ready. And yes, I'm looking in the mirror too.

There is a passage in James 2 where I become teary almost every time I say it.

"But you have dishonored the poor man." (James 2:6a)

Actually, there is a lot leading up to and following after this one small sentence and in order to understand why my temper needs checked and I'm teary when I say or read it...I'm going to have to explain a little...or a lot. Please bear with me.

This one line follows hot on the heels of James 1:19-21 where we have been strongly cautioned to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger." (verse 19) James also reminds us that our anger doesn't accomplish "God's righteousness". (verse 20) Dictionary.com defines righteousness as "the quality or state of being just or rightful." So our anger...no matter how "righteous" we may think it may be...does not bring about God's justice, morality or uprightness (also as defined on dictionary.com). 

I believe this warning to check our anger...also called "setting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness"  and to instead "in humility, receive the word implanted" (verse 21) is one that greatly needs to be heeded by the American church culture. This is not the first time I've shared my frustration over what was plastered all over Facebook during the political election season. Too many times to count I was ashamed at the anger, divisiveness and nastiness that was spoken (in our culture...that means typed) by people calling themselves Christians. 

The huge sigh of relief I felt after the election was short-lived, as now, almost two months later comments are still being made! Ugh!...is the only word that will sometimes express my feelings. Unfortunately, I've had to unsubscribe from more than a few people just so I won't harbor anger and bitterness toward them. I would never "unfriend"...but I don't have to have their poison spewed all over my news feed! Enough said!

Or maybe not.

Because James goes on. In chapter 1 he not only tells us to "receive the word" but that we need to prove ourselves to be doers of it. Also, that I should never forget "the kind of person [I] was" (James 1:24) But one more warning that should smack us all out of our bitter jibes and deriding comments is this: "If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless." (James 1:26, emphasis mine) Maybe it's time we start "bridling" our keyboards too! 

Do you want to have "pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father"? Then James not only cautions us to bridle our outbursts...but to also "visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." (James 1:27) How many people do you know that were pontificating on the evilness of one side or another (and still are), but have actually sat down with a single mom (a.k.a. the widows of our society) or latch-key or fatherless kids (a.k.a. the orphans of our society) and tried to understand why they feel a sense of entitlement or despair? Yeah...I don't know very many who've done this either.

And right before James makes me teary and sad about how we "dishonor the poor man". He warns us yet again to not get too high and mighty about our faith. (see James 2:1-3) In fact, this segment of Scripture in the NASB is entitled "The Sin of Partiality". James wants us not to give favor to the rich and look down upon the poor because "Listen, my beloved brethren, did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?" (James 2:5)

The question I keep wanting to ask when someone is concerned about "entitlement", "hand outs", "redistribution of wealth" and "lazy people that just want society to take care of them", is this: "Do you actually know any poor people?" 

I'm not talking about someone that gets posted on broadcast news, YouTube or elsewhere talking about how great it is to get all of this free help. I'm also not referring to someone that just can't afford to eat at a sit down restaurant. Nor am I alluding to someone that doesn't have the latest iPhone, iPad or accompanying fluff to go with it. No...I'm talking about have you actually sat down and had more than a 5 minute conversation with someone that has to scrape together money for gasoline so they can get to work...which is a job that pays less than $10 an hour (equal to only about $20,000 per year) and probably has to work a second job, has their kids in daycare or before and after school programs, might be in school part-time or full-time, has no husband paying child support, no medical insurance if they or their child gets sick and can't stay home if they are sick because they'll either miss much needed income or worse, lose their job. 

How many grandmas have you conversed with that are living on medicare and social security, raising their grandchildren and trying to help those kids sustain a standard of living that will keep them from being made fun of and bullied at school?

When was the last time you sat down,  held the hand of and prayed with someone who just needed a few forks, a couple of bowls, some decent clothes for a new job and maybe a pillow and blanket so the floor would be more comfortable?

It's been awhile for me too. But when I have, I have walked away not only humbled, but astounded at the ones that say, "No, it's alright...I don't need free food...I get food stamps. Leave it for someone that doesn't have help." They haven't asked for a new set of dishes or towels or sheets that match. They've been thankful and grateful to just get enough to get by.

Are there people that feel entitled to food, clothing, shelter and other assistance? Absolutely! Try taking all of that away from your family for a few weeks and see if you begin to feel like you should be entitled to it too.

And, yeah, yeah...I know there are chronic abusers...I've met a few. I am by no means excusing their laziness or brazen expectations for it to just be handed to them. I'm just hinting at this idea that maybe instead of making blanket statements about the thousands of poor in America (or billions around the world)...might it be more beneficial to sit down with them and find out why they have these behaviors and attitudes?

But see...that's the hard part isn't it? Actually entering into someone's life...messy life...is exactly what we try to avoid. But there is no shirking the responsibility that it is exactly what God calls us to do and Jesus lived out!

James, doesn't let this go and I don't want to either...if we claim to be Jesus followers, in our culture that's called a Christian, then James says our works will put feet to our faith. If we don't have works that match our faith then we are no better than the demons who believe in God. Oh wait! At least "the demons also believe and shudder." (James 2:19, emphasis mine) I've heard a lot of Christians use this passage against people who say they "believe" in a god but live lives contradictory to the Bible's teachings. Interestingly enough, it was actually written to Christians that said they had faith and had no works to back it up. Yes, the ones who were dishonoring the poor!

Is it maybe time for us to start doing some shuddering too?

My loving Abba, I am ashamed at the people we have become! Myself included! We are more concerned about our own comfort...our own toys...our own gluttonous "needs"...that we are more than willing to dishonor the poor with our words of accusation or judgment and our condemnation than we are to cry out for mercy, justice and love on their behalf. How patient and merciful You have been with us! May we never, ever stop looking in the mirror and remembering "what kind of person" we were! (James 1:24) Or maybe the person we would still be if not for your unconditional, undeserved Love! When we are tempted to wade into the filth and wickedness of this age and accuse people who do not know You of not living up to standards that we somehow, miraculously expect them to just understand and live by...may we shut our mouths...close up our keyboards and instead open up Your Word and our hearts to hearing how much YOU love them and want us to as well. May our anger and fear at what appears to be "unfair", "unjust" and "unequal" not drive us to social media and rants about political positions...but instead, may we be driven to our knees to intercede on behalf of the billions who are dying without the knowledge of an Abba who loves them without any limits. And when we've been on our knees long enough to have our hearts broken for the poor, the widow, the sick, the imprisoned, the orphan, the destitute and the outcast and yes...the clueless...in the same way that Your heart has been broken...may we rise up to become the people that you created us to be...a people that is known by our Love for one another. Lord, through your servant James, You have told us that 'blessing Your name and cursing men who have been made in Your likeness' should never come from the same mouth (James 3:9-10). Lord, may it not be so! Instead give us mouths full of praise for You and edification, mercy, hope and love for others. For we know there is no where else in this world they will find these but in You.

Amen!

After this...you may unfriend me. That's okay, if you feel the need to differ with my convictions. Eventually, the only posts that may come up on my Facebook news feed will be photos of grandkids, puppy dogs and cutesy little sayings about rainbows and butterflies. Actually...I'm okay with that too.

Removing the Title, But Not the Intent

If you've been following our journey, you may recognize that I've removed the subtitle, "Boundless Ministries" from the heading of this blog. I've been feeling the necessity to do this for a few months and now feel that it's time.

While in my heart, everything I do will hopefully continue to be filtered through God's Boundless Love for others...apparently, what I conceived to be a traditional ministry...God did not conceive to be as such.

I'm not disappointed, I began what I thought was God's desire for us as a family. And it absolutely is still His priority for us to serve single moms, orphans, widows, the poor, destitute, lost and forgotten of this world...we just don't have to have a name for it to be official.

For many, many months this blog has been almost solely about my journey and our family's as well. I am not letting go of a heart's passion...just a name.

No, the only Name I need to cling to and never let go of is the most beautiful Name we can ever know...Jesus!

So with a new year, comes...well, really...nothing new. Just a reminder that may all I do and say not be in the name of Boundless Minstries (or even Angela Barthauer)...but, solely...wholeheartedly...and exclusively...in the name of Jesus.

Amen!

Not the Answer I Expected

As I've shared on this blog, I began a part-time job doing warehouse work the middle of October. I was honest about how I struggled to know without a doubt that He either wanted me to begin this job or to continue to stay home and wait on His provision. (see "How Then Can Man Understand his Way?")

Once I began to settle into the weekend position, I also wrote about some of the Interesting Developments that were taking place. Overall, I've been content almost every Saturday and Sunday to go to work. (There have been a few groggy mornings!) I'm still not certain this was God's absolute perfect will for me, but there have been even more positives to the work than I thought there'd be. Honestly, it hasn't all been perfect...as I expected...there have been a few scares with some back pain and tendinitis but nothing that a visit to a chiropractor probably wouldn't help.

Where I was continuing to struggle though was this elusive idea of "balance". How do I home school our children five days a week, work on the weekends, maintain a household and all that phrase entails and still find time to serve the poor, the needy, the widow and the orphan? While I was by no means getting stressed about this, I don't want our family to become insulated and focused only on our needs and wants again. I feel like this was the life God called us out of and I have no desire to go back to being ego-centric.

While life was beginning to settle into a routine, I became aware of something interesting...I didn't miss going to church on Sunday mornings. There was absolutely nothing against our church home implied by this, I just realized that while the music is great and the preaching is pretty good too...attending Bible study and having regular time set aside with God didn't really leave me with much of a void for doing church.

I have to admit that at the same time I wasn't missing "church", I was missing community life...at least community life the way God's Word instructs us it should be lived out. I still don't feel like I have the answer here, but Dale pointed out that I do make an effort to meet with and see the sisters that matter to me outside of "church" and combined with our home school co-op family and women's Bible study, there's not a lot to miss in this area either. I'm still hoping and praying we can find community together as a couple and family though.

The reason for all of this background is so you can better understand what I was mulling over and my desire to still be serving God somewhere, somehow without feeling overwhelmed by adding one more thing to our days. While I do want to be open to the Holy Spirit's prompting about serving as a family and we live our lives without strict constraints on our time so we can be open to His movement...I believe this Sunday morning, I was blessed to receive the answer I'd been waiting to hear...even if it wasn't the answer I expected.

I've been reading Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution and really believe that God is drawing me to live out this quote Shane shared from Tony Compolo: "Jesus never says to the poor, 'Come find the church,' but He says to those of us in the church. 'Go into the world and find the poor, hungry, homeless, imprisoned,' Jesus in his disguises."

So how do I work, teach our kids and live out God's call to love the poor, needy, downtrodden and forgotten? Sunday morning...He said, "Angela...you already are!"

Remember I said that I work Saturdays and Sundays? And while I had already realized that this job is full of lives that need to know God's Love for them, I guess I was a little daft at putting this all together. Funny thing is...I was at church when it happened.

It was a slow weekend at work...coming out of a busy buildup to the holiday shopping online...I was a little surprised to only be needed for two hours Sunday morning. Yet, I was happy to be able to call Dale, ask him to come get me and know that at least this Sunday...I'd get to "go to church".

But here's what happened...while I'm standing there worshiping and praising my Abba...I became aware that I wasn't supposed to be there. You see...if I'm in a church building surrounded by a couple hundred Christians and all across the country millions more are sequestered away in buildings of all shapes and sizes...exactly who is in the warehouse down the street serving my Jesus by living out His Love to my co-workers? I'm supposed to be there...that's who!

As tears streamed from my eyes, face after face flashed before me and God's Spirit asked me (in thought...not in an audible voice), "Who will be my Light to them, Angela? They are poor in spirit, needy, alone, imprisoned, downtrodden and forgotten. Who will live out My Love for them?" I knew in that moment that although I was thankful to have the opportunity to "go to church"...I was in the wrong place. As long as God allows, I won't be going to church on Sunday mornings...I want to be the Church on Sunday mornings.

I freely confess this is my conviction and mine alone! I am beyond thrilled that my husband and children can still attend a worship celebration where they are encouraged and challenged to grow and live out their faith. I am not advocating that churches shut their doors and stop meeting. But the thought did cross my mind while I stood there Sunday morning...'What if just 20 or even 50 people would be willing to go to work on Sunday in retail, waiting tables and the myriad of jobs in industry and instead of going to church to meet with Jesus...they took Jesus to the people?'

You know...I don't recall anywhere in the New Testament that Jesus or any disciples required believers to meet on Sunday. Actually, in the book of Acts, it says they "met daily". Does anyone really believe that God is going to somehow be disappointed or angry if we meet together for worship on Tuesday or Wednesday instead? Probably not.

I happen to believe He's a whole lot bigger than just one day in a week of my life. That's the God I want to introduce my co-workers to...the One that loves them no matter where they work, when they work or why they work. He loves them so much He's decided maybe it's time someone brought some Church to them!

Amen!

Deja vu

In July 2010, I was working through the book of James in the Bible because I felt compelled to do it. "Compelled" may not even be a strong enough word. God's Spirit was leading me to do it and I knew I just had to. I used the inductive study method I learned earlier that year in a Kay Arthur study of Jude I'd attended at a local church. Inductive study analyzes individual words, cross references to other scriptures and sometimes even leads you back to the original Hebrew (in the Old Testament) or Greek (in the New Testament) to better understand the meaning that is sometimes "lost" or maybe just muddled in translation.

As I went through James verse by verse, God's Spirit used those words to alter the course of my life forever.  So many times, I wept, laughed, pondered, reflected and simply poured over what He was doing in me and through me. This blog was started, in part, because I was learning so much that I just had to share what God was teaching me.

When I found out this past spring that our new church would be hosting the Beth Moore, James: Mercy Triumphs Bible study later in the year, I could not contain my excitement. Now, to be involved in it and going through it with my oldest daughter, I can report that I have not been disappointed.

Week after week I have completed the homework and been left teary at remembering how far God has brought me and how much further I have to go. Each Beth Moore session has had multiple lessons for me to take away and "chew on". Today, I was teary and almost wanted to cry out, "God help us!" when she talked briefly about James 2:15-16. James is not a book for the faint of heart. He is not for the nominal Christian. He is not for the one who cries, "Lord, Lord" and then walks right by the one in need. (See Matthew 25:31-46) And there are a lot of us that struggle with James...I mean deeply struggle.

One thing I've learned in this study is that even Martin Luther (the 16th century German theologian that was instrumental in starting the Reformation) wrestled extensively with James. His background in the hypocritical and taking-advantage-of-the-Purgatory-scared-poor Catholic church of his day, left him with great turmoil over James' discussion of faith versus works. (see James 2:14-26)

But in the paraphrased words of Beth Moore, 'You may not like James, but no New Testament author more closely echoes the words of Christ than his younger half-brother, James.'

Echoes the words of Christ? Then I definitely need to pay attention, right?

And that's what I've tried to do. I've tried to read these words as if for the first time...problem is...I am so grateful for the words of James...that even now as I type...I am teary at how much God's grace and His Spirit have changed me since I last studied this book. My life looks and feels completely different and yet, I know there is still so much more to do...not because I have to...but because my Abba loves me so much that I want to!


Postscript: Just how much God used this tiny book of the Bible in my life is evidenced in the titles of the blog posts that came out of that study two plus years ago: James is Kicking My Butt!; More Boot Camp With James; More James...Ouch!; Waitin' on the World to Change; Friend v. Enemy; Well, I Did It; and Community Life According to James If you take the time to read these, I just ask that you bear in mind I'm a work in progress and so are you. Praise God...He never gives up calling us to a deeper walk with Him. Amen!

Special Requests

I haven't gathered up the prayer requests for this month and posted them yet, so I'm going to offer them up this way for a change. There are two new ones, one for a single mom and one for us.

• I received an e-mail from a mom tonight that due to an injury and work hours being cut back she is short on her rent this month by a few hundred dollars. She's raising her two kids on her own and for the three (about) years she's been single, she's done really well providing for them. Please pray for God's provision and that when I follow up with her she will hear only her Abba loving her. There is a former mutual church associate I'm also considering contacting that may know of a way to assist her, but I'm praying for God's wisdom on whether to proceed or not.
• For our family, we're seeking direction for the future. It is becoming clear with each passing month that to continue renting at our current location is not financially feasible. We're seeking God's wisdom that I know He will provide. We pray He'll lead us to where He wants us to be and that the transition will go well for the kids. Our current lease isn't up until February, so we have some time before decisions have to be made. But we're feeling the pinch as it tightens more and more so we're completely open to whatever and wherever He leads us.

One praise:

• Mom of 4 received first child support check from her ex and she and the kids are adjusting well to their move to Florida.

A Pocket Full of Jewells

This week I had the delightful treat of caring for a 2+ month old for four days. Now, I'm not one inclined to just take on extra kids for more than the occasional sleepover or a few hours playtime. But someone in need asked if I'd consider it, she's a single mom, and the late-in-life-but-your-ovaries-are-still-beckoning-to-you part of me thought "Why not?" I am beyond thrilled that we did it and here's a few lessons (aka jewels) I learned (or remembered) about the world of babydom:

• Some little girls are just natural mommys. Our 9 year old Leah, not only arose from bed early every morning to see Jewell...she could not get enough of playing with, feeding or just watching her. Being the youngest, she's never been around such a tiny baby for any significant length of time. Let's just say that every whimper, every whine and absolutely every cry this baby made was felt deeply by our compassionate, merciful, caregiver, Leah. If she thinks someone's in pain...she is there ready to hold the bucket while you puke or the bandage while you bleed. This is the one that will either have a boatload of kids or will step into a role God has for her that will serve even more!
• Even some baby girls are natural mommys. It was my day to serve in childcare at Bible study yesterday, and in the toddler room there were about two or three toddlers that just couldn't help themselves...they had to see Jewell...a few of them even lingered, longingly looking at her. While I didn't let any of them touch, pull on or hold her...one little girl, while I was rocking the baby, just ran up with super swift feet...patted Jewell on the bottom gently...and just as quickly, ran away. She had her baby fix, I guess.
• Everyone deserves a chance to cuddle and coo with a baby every once in awhile. No matter what is going on in your life...about 20 minutes of holding a baby that hums and sings while they drink their bottle or smiles at the most random comments...just has a way of nourishing your spirit.
• Life slows down when you have a baby to care for. The great thing Holy Spirit reminded me early Monday morning is that life is just slower with a baby. I usually wake up with a head overflowing with expectations of the things I want to accomplish for the day. But right from the get go on Monday, God was faithful to remind me to relax, take it easy, let go of those expectations and just enjoy the slow pace. Sure, some chores didn't get done and some schoolwork was bypassed, but some of that happens around here anyway. No expectations means no stress and therefore, no resentment over piled up laundry or whatever. Shoot...I remember the days when my kids where babies that just getting out of my pajamas for the day was a huge event. Now, I stay in my pajamas any chance I get!
• God did not intend for old women to have babies. I spoke truthfully when I said watching Jewell was a delight and that I was thrilled to do it. But being 44 years old and caring for a small baby does have one down side...achy muscles. No, she doesn't weigh much and she was no problem...rather it's the car seat and other paraphernalia you have to take with you that causes the shoulder and neck strain. God bless moms of young kids! I don't know how I did it. I just know I did it with a younger body!
• Even when you think you have nothing to give...you do! A recurrent theme of struggle for me has been lack of finances often makes me sad over perceived lack of opportunity to give. Wrong! When Momma asked if I could help, Holy Spirit quickly affirmed to me that this was something I could give...do well...and actually had experience and confidence in doing. So take it from someone who's been there (and still occasionally goes back "there") don't ever believe the enemy's lie that you don't have anything to give to someone in need. Instead...ask God what He's already given you that you can share.

Baby Jewell is pretty sweet and everyone in our family had some form of positive interaction with her this week. What a blessing to even hear my 14 year old boy laugh at her smiles and check on her to see if she's sleeping. It's good for my kids to step outside of themselves and focus on another for a few days.

And just in case you still haven't thought of anything you have to offer someone in need....once again, you'd be wrong. Momma and Jewell are still looking for a more permanent childcare situation and it's going to take God's provision to do it. So you can pray! Pray for God to lead, God to prepare and God to provide. I can claim confidently that He will do it because He's the God Who Will See To It (Jehovah Jireh). But also, I know this Momma's heart is to serve God and He will always provide what she needs exactly when she needs it. Most of all though, God cares for this precious Jewell and He has great plans for her. As her Abba, He'll be certain to get her to the place to fulfill that plan and He'll be with her every step of the way.

Amen!

Our Fifth Single Moms' Night Out

We had a small group last night...but still lots of fun with the kiddos we were blessed to play with for a few hours. B-I-N-G-O, as usual, was the highlight of the evening. It amuses me how much little prizes excite a child!

Thanks to all of the Firm Foundation Co-op people that helped out in some way: Kim Bular, Dawn Fay, Marie Bryant, Julie Mayer, Michelle Eppinghoff, Kari Mulderink, Michelle O'Dwyer, Amy Santen and anyone else I may have neglected. It is possible that I missed someone, because weekly I had people bringing donations to me faster than I could keep track of. You're a great group of loving, caring and sharing home schoolers. We are blessed to serve and live in community beside you!

To the Single Moms I Know...and Everyone Else Too!

Scrolling through my Facebook feed just a few minutes ago, something struck me and I'm sure it's no coincidence. Three single moms I don't know very well...in fact, mostly through FB...each posted something to their timelines this evening.

On my feed, their appeared consecutively:

"Everything in life happens for a reason...Ba Hum Bug"

"Life keeps throwing punches...and I'm a little punch drunk". :(

"Sometimes the smallest issues can BE the BIGGEST ones...Do you ever feel like you need a miracle, I do! God, been asking for a long time...help me understand."

As I said, I don't know these ladies well. In fact, of the three, I've only seen one since we moved to Kentucky six years ago and I haven't interacted with her in about three years now. But I see a lot of similarity...maybe you see it too. Yes, their use of my favorite punctuation...the ellipse...is obvious, but aside from that...what do you hear.

I hear pain. I hear doubt. I hear worry. I hear stress. But sadly, I hear a longing to share it with someone...anyone that will care. I do wonder if they've shared their burdens with a friend. I pray they have people who love them, are surrounding them, uplifting them and encouraging them. Knowing how our culture has closed itself off though, my guess (and purely a guess) is that it is somehow "easier" to send this pain out into the great unknown of FB than to share it with a community that will strengthen, challenge and mostly, surround them with love.

I don't judge these ladies. We've all done it. Well, at least those of us with FB or blogs have. But tonight, I'm asking you...yeah, YOU...the one anonymously reading this blog to say a prayer for these ladies you may never meet this side of Heaven. And if you don't feel comfortable doing that, ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind a single mom that you personally know. I am confident in a nanosecond you will have had one or possibly many more come to mind.

Don't get me wrong...I know we all have pain. We all have low times (my blog is testimony to mine!) and we all have doubts or worries too. My sadness is compounded when single moms have to carry these burdens alone. Yes, I know with God they are never alone...but He did also command us to live in community and carry one another's burdens. When one is weak, the stronger ones are to walk beside and support them.

So please, say a prayer of love, encouragement and support for these ladies and the ladies you know. Pray the Holy Spirit will bring people into their lives who will love them the way God loves them.

And if you're one of the ladies who happen to have been quoted above, I do apologize for stealing your words tonight. Please know that you are loved with a boundless love that will never fail. Also, thank you for the privilege of calling upon the Name of your Abba on your behalf tonight. I am honored to be your sister in Christ!

Amen!

Archived Prayer Requests for May 2012

In an attempt to remember God's faithfulness, I always archive prayer requests from previous months. These are those we presented on the blog for the month of May 2012.





5/31/12: Mom of 2 is being baptized next week. Pray for her as she is affirming her new life in Jesus!

5/22/12: Mom of 1 has child support hearing with child's father  on June 18th. He is contesting the amount he is in arrears. The discrepancy is in part due to childcare expenses. Please pray for mom's peace and for the judge to fairly and accurately assess the situation, plus enforce mom's right to the money that is owed to her child. Update 6/18/12: Mom of 1 will have to return to court 7/31/12 unless she is willing to accept less child support. Update 8/2/12: see praise update

5/6/12: Please be in prayer for our Single Moms' Night Out event scheduled for Friday, May 18th. We have several new families participating and we're excited to begin new relationships with these families. 5/18/12: Our fourth SMNO went well. We had 5 children no-show, yet still had 7 attend. Along with 5 teen helpers and another mom to assist, God more than amply provided volunteers and donations for pizza. He is always faithful!

5/4/12: Mom of 4 is experiencing a long delay for divorce to be finalized. This puts plans for residence and enrolling her children in a new school on hold for most of the summer. Please pray for her peace and for God to put everything together for His glory. Pray that fears and doubts will not assail her and for God to protect her from the enemy's fiery arrows. 6/12/12: Even in the midst of the storm, God's Presence continues to provide peace. Please continue to pray. 

Prayer Requests and Updates

Here's the link to our Prayer Requests and Needs Page

Thank you for continuing to pray for those who often feel like they have no voice. Every need represents a mom, her children and those with whom she comes in contact every day. The ripples of your prayers do have eternal effect. I am humbled by what God does when His people pray.

Amen!

Pleading for the Widow

Here it is as promised in the previous post (see Isaiah 1) my conviction to "plead for the widow" (Isaiah 1:17). This is the list God was already laying on my heart before I even read this verse. And the image above is one I found online. It's an artist's interpretation of Jesus pleading...somehow I think it's appropriate since I know He lives to intercede for us before the Father and I know His Holy Spirit prays for us with words and groans that we cannot even express when we don't know how to pray. (see Romans 8:25-27) Please don't just read over this list...please plead to your Abba on behalf of these ladies who most often would never plead to us on their own behalf. Ask Him to lead you in how you should pray for each.

• Mom of one has court date 7/31 where she will most likely discover she will be receiving less child support. 
• Mom of one has begun looking for new apartment in the Florence, Burlington or Hebron areas. She needs rent to be $600 a month or less. Current lease is up in October.
• Mom of four has final court date for her divorce on 8/10. She and her children are moving to Florida 8/12. She needs peace from the stress and strain too.
• Our neighbor, a mom of two who has been unable to find a teaching position because she holds her master's degree and her boyfriend will probably lose his job with a small airline this fall.
• Mom of one has been feeling empty and bears heavy load of caring for her mother who has dementia also.
• Mom of one lost her usual summer part time job and has been experiencing financial difficulties as a result.
• Mom of three is getting married and moving to Wisconsin from the Northern Kentucky area.
• Mom of two moved to Arizona recently. Pray for them during this transitional time of adjustment.
• Mom of three experiencing financial strain has started a home-based business and looks for opportunities to earn money from home.
• Mom of one may be going back to school. Pray for wisdom about financial aid and college choices.
• Mom of three has experienced difficulty with son and his emotional strain. Pray for them as they head into the next school year.
• Mom of five, four still at home, has had several rocky years as she has attempted to leave an abusive and controlling husband, find her own employment (which she now has) and begin life without being dependent on her ex.
• Mom of four has had a difficult year and a half. She is self-employed and has previous asked for prayer regarding the finalization of her divorce and her ex-husband's plea bargaining process.
• Mom of one is expecting and has a rocky relationship with her boyfriend.
• Mom of a newborn, just born last week, needs physical recovery and rest. She will need much assistance in the days to come.
• Mom of four is expecting a child this fall. She has expressed a need for some baby furniture.
• Mom of two in Indiana is having severe financial difficulties and she cannot find a job in her chosen profession.
• Mom that is new to homeschooling will need peace as she juggles home, work and schooling responsibilities.
• Mom of three in Indiana has expressed concern over health issues recently.
• Mom in Indiana has son receiving college interest for playing basketball as he heads into his senior year. Pray for wisdom and God's leading.
• Mom of two lost her son through a violent act last year and as expected still grieves his loss.
• Nine other moms that we have loose affiliations with that are at varying places in their journey. Some still have children at home, but are also grandmothers or have children at the age where they're getting married. 
• All of the moms we know at one time or another have had custody or support disputes and regular issues with security...either financial, emotional or even physical.

Thank you for pleading for the widows of our society...the single moms and their families. Ask God to reveal to you the women in your life and circle of influence that also need someone to plead for them.

Amen!

Isaiah 1

Having just completed an in depth, but by no means exhaustive studies of Habakkuk and Zephaniah, I've turned my attention to the book of Isaiah. There are many verses in this large Old Testament book that have spoken to my heart just when I needed it. It almost felt daunting to begin a study with this book because for some reason I've allowed myself to believe that somehow I don't have the skills to dig into the major prophets of old. Ezekiel, Nehemiah, Jeremiah, Isaiah and even the prophecies of Daniel have always seemed like heights of understanding my puny brain could never comprehend.

Well, I was wrong.

After all, anything is possible with the help of Jesus and His Spirit, right? (see Matthew 17:20) So I promised my ADD brain that can become so easily overwhelmed, that I would break this book down into manageable "chunks" and I would take it slow. Already, God's Spirit has been faithful to glean for me some truths of which I need to be reminded...and the first one began in the introduction of all places!

It seems Isaiah is broken down into 66 chapters, just as the Bible is broken down into 66 books. Even better, chapter 1-39 fall under the theme of God's Character and Judgment...much like the 39 books of the Old Testament. Knowing this, would you now be surprised to learn that chapters 40-66 pursue the theme of God's Comfort and Redemption? Probably not if you're familiar with books 40-66 of the Bible...which perhaps, not coincidentally...are the books of the New Testament. Are you sensing a pattern here? And I can't take credit for this revelation. It was explained very well by the author of the introduction in my Bible.

Moving along to Isaiah 1, I could easily become disheartened with the reproving statements God had Isaiah deliver to Jerusalem and all of Judah. He was using Isaiah to lay out the plan for God's judgment on His idolatrous children. But tucked away, almost in the middle of chapter one was this amazing call to purity that His Spirit wanted to embed in my heart two days ago when I read it. As He often does, the message He wanted to share was already being brought to my mind and to my heart by the God that just won't let me go. [Is there a Hebrew word for that phrase? Not trying to be sacrilegious, but I like "El-Holdemtightah"] He's amazing like that, isn't He? Sometimes we just have to have the lesson come to us from a few different places before we believe it's Him. Why is that? I think that's another post entirely.

What His gentle Spirit had been sharing with my heart for about a week was a reflection over the last year in the lives of the single women we know. Many of these women I have no more contact with them than to see an occasional post on Facebook about the struggles in which they wade through hoping just for a few moments to get their head above water. God had been making a mental list of all their trials and victories for me to celebrate and lament. I've admittedly been floundering for a few months trying to figure out just where this ministry's headed and what He expects from us as a family when it comes to serving single moms and their families.

I've felt from the beginning of this ministry a year ago that God's Spirit wanted to take the credit for all provision for us, Boundless Ministries, and the single moms through Him we are able to bless. The year before, when we "just wanted to help", we did ask for donations and gift cards for moms when a need arose. We sent e-mails, posted on the blog or even on Facebook, when we knew of a need and we knew someone could probably provide it if we just asked. Sometimes people stepped up and sometimes they didn't.

But last summer, when we felt God calling us to more...to a place where He wanted us to leap and watch Him catch us...I felt very strongly that He was asking for complete trust and that meant a call to pray...first and foremost and almost exclusively, for needs as they arose for single moms, us or this ministry. So that's what we've done. Initially, we stepped back and watched as God proved time and time again that He was more than capable of not only providing for single moms but us as well. We've always been very upfront that 25% of donations are used to support us as we minister to single moms. I still feel confident that His plan as He laid out in the beginning is what He wants. I have to be honest though that as He's called us to a deeper walk with Him, the "obvious" blessings have become very scarce. What I've struggled to get my American-cultured brain around is that His blessings are not always going to be monetary. We may not always be able to give a single mom money or gift cards, it may be some extra groceries or time that we have instead. I've been very open on this blog that I've struggled with this idea that I may not have the freedom to anonymously send a mom a huge monetary blessing...it might just be a few boxes of pasta, sauce or some beans and rice. Why can't I rejoice in that just as much as handing over a few hundred dollars worth of gift cards? Hmmm...seems to be a flaw in me...not the One who's providing.

And I've found myself whining about this a lot. Worse yet, I've begun to doubt God's original leading about seeking only His wisdom and will on fund raising and provision. My enemy has caused many fears that I'd "missed something" or "heard Him wrong".

Truth is, I haven't. I think God's overall lesson on trusting His provision completely is spot on. I'm not supposed to run to my e-mail or my Facebook page first to solicit support for those in need. No, I need to run to my Abba. And possibly most of the time, that will be where my part ends...but on occasion He may ask me to speak up and speak out for the ladies we know. That may involve requesting prayer (as we attempt to do with our Prayer Partners and bi-monthly prayer request updates), it may be a special post on our personal or ministry Facebook page, calling all brothers and sisters in Jesus to intercede on behalf of a need and still more rarely, it may mean asking those we know to step up and give...even sacrificially...for a mom that just can't "do-it-herself" this time. Sometimes, God will want those donations to go through Boundless Ministries, and sometimes He won't. And I need to be okay with that. After all, it's not my blessing to give...it's His.

After this lengthy epistle you're probably asking yourself: "What does all of this have to do with Isaiah 1?" Well, remember I said God had been formulating a list of remembrance regarding all of the trials and victories we've witnessed over the last year? I already was planning a blog post that would essentially be a list of the needs I know that single moms have. Instead of the last two prayer updates, I wanted a special "call to prayer" on behalf of these ladies. Having this already on my heart to do soon, imagine my joy when I read this two days ago in Isaiah 1:16-17

"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean;
Remove the evil of your deeds from My sight.
Cease to do evil, 
Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Reprove the ruthless,
Defend the orphan,
Plead for the widow."

Isaiah was commanded to tell Judah how God wanted them to wash their hands that were "covered in blood". The two verses above are the prescription for how to accomplish this. I'm reading a book that is greatly challenging me about social justice and care for the poor. It appears God's Bible isn't a place where I can escape from that challenge.

When I put it all together, it seems I'm on the right path...defending the orphan and pleading for the widow. Sometimes that will entail pleading with God and sometimes whether you like it or not, that will mean pleading with you. I've washed myself clean with the blood of the Messiah that shed it so I can be clean. Now as I plead for the widow and the orphan I've got to let God work on removing the evil from His sight that is within my hearing. My prayer is that I quit listening to the evil one that has me perpetually second guessing the call to serve single moms. It couldn't be more plain. Unfortunately, I keep getting tripped up on the how...but that was never my problem to figure out in the first place.

Amen!

Support Single Moms and Others Through Their Businesses

On the right side of this blog, you'll find a new permanent page link to a listing of home-based businesses run by single moms, supporters of Boundless Ministries and our own family. It's appropriately entitled

Support Single Moms and Others Through Their Businesses

I'll repost the link from time to time because one thing I've learned over time, one of the best ways to assist someone is to empower them to do it themselves. Great organizations like Samaritan's Purse and Master Provisions have seen this come true for many years. If World Vision and others can promote micro-finance loans (at least I think that's what they're called) to impoverished people in developing countries in order to lift them out of poverty, why don't we do the same? Unfortunately I think our trust in big business is higher than in our fellow man and we are more concerned with a good bargain instead instead of investing in the lives of others. Don't believe me? Who made the last birthday cake you bought? Wal-mart or the sole-proprietor who may cost a little more...but it will probably taste better too?

So if you're shopping from bread, purses, accessories and jewelry, books, weight loss shakes, a good mechanic, a house cleaning service, a photographer or baked sweets and spreads take a look through the links and information provided. Shopping with one of these families can make an even bigger impact than you might think.

Next Single Moms' Night Out is Scheduled!

We're already looking toward the fall when we start up our Single Moms' Night Out events again. We usually do one in September, January/February and May. Here's the link to the Upcoming Events Page

If you're curious what happens at a SMNO, click this link to a post regarding our last one. Our Fourth Single Moms' Night Out

The Joy of Unfulfilled Dreams

No...I've not gone off the deep end. Rather, God is giving me peace about the things I've always longed to do, the places I've always wanted to visit, the hobbies and projects I've always wanted to finish and yes...even the dreams I've always dreamed but never seen fulfilled.

We all have them don't we? Whether as kids we dreamed of being a fireman, a cowboy, a princess or a movie star...we all have at least one dream...and probably many, many more that we gave up on too long ago to recall. But what if you didn't have to give it up? What if you knew that someday, somewhere, somehow...the hopes, dreams, plans, goals that you'd long ago set aside could amazingly be dusted off and actually see the light of day? Wouldn't that be worth every single sacrifice or abandoned hope you'd made along the way? Maybe the more appropriate question is: Doesn't that sound like Heaven?

Randy Alcorn thinks so...and his book, entitled just that, Heaven, is a scripturally supported work that challenges us to hope for the day (or rather, the eternity) on which we'll see our God-given dreams fulfilled. After all, we're told that every "good and perfect thing" is a gift from the Father, (see James 1:17) so isn't it safe to assume that these hopes and dreams came from Him? I mean, is there truly anything wrong with dreaming of travel to Africa, Australia or Asia? Isn't it good to want to run a marathon? Isn't there good to be found in the dream of singing praise, glory and honor to our Savior? Isn't it more than just good to want to have perfect relationships where there is no bias, no angst, no miscommunication, no doubt, no guilt and no pain? So if God is the giver of all good things, why would those dreams end just because this life under the Curse ends? Thanks to Alcorn, I'm realizing for the first time that they won't!

So yes, I am finding "The Joy of Unfulfilled Dreams". God is releasing me from the regret of missed opportunities. He's weeding out the bitterness that results from lost hopes. He's healing the hurt and insecurity of not having the resources to do all that I want to do for Him. He's helping me get beyond the questioning of "Where did I go wrong?" and "At what turn did I miss His leading?" He's showing me that someday there will be a New Earth and the sights, sounds, cultures and pleasures I've longed to enjoy now...are just being delayed for 40 or so (or fewer!) years...and I'm becoming okay with that.

But He's also opening my heart and mind wider to another realization: There is ONE thing I'll never again be able to do once I've shed this decaying form that is just a shadow of the perfected me yet to come...I'll never again have the opportunity to bring more people into His Kingdom along with me. Maybe that's why Jesus said over and over again that the "time is now" and that "the Kingdom of God is at hand". (see Mark 1:15 and (Matthew 4:17) He knew better than anyone that short-term sacrifice is long-term gain...like eternity-type long-term!

Do I still long to see the Australian Outback, the Great Wall of China, and just to step foot on Africa...anywhere in Africa? Absolutely! But knowing that someday I will not only see them...but I'll see the renewed, perfected, non-decaying versions of them, makes it a less bitter pill to swallow. The cool thing? Because I'm willing to make the sacrifices in the here and now of giving to the needy when we don't have enough, spending time with single moms and their kids when no one else wants to or doing without the fancy vacations, fancy food, fancy clothes, fancy cars, fancy "whatever" so that even more people I know (or have yet to meet) will be able to go see all of those things with me...THAT, my Friend...is "The Joy of Fulfilled Dreams!"

Mentioned in this post:

A Serving Summer

I normally like to home school year round. At least we usually do a few days of schooling per week, but much to my children's delight, we're postponing our start until July. One obvious reason is that we needed a month off. The not so obvious reason is that in an effort to continue becoming more Heaven Minded, (and beat away the "I'm bored!" I hear far too often!) we have intentionally contacted friends to come to our place to swim (at our complex's pool). We're also attempting to be intentional about having the kids' friends to our home for sleepovers and scheduling families to come have dinner with us and hang out by the pool. We want to be very proactive about living in community with our friend this summer.

But one of the things I'm most excited about was my friend Kari's idea of a summer challenge. Instead of participating in our local library's reading program, we've developed our own challenge...tailored to each child's gifting and abilities. The challenge is broken down into three different categories: spiritual, mental and physical. Instead of winning a book at the library that they'll never read, if they complete the challenge, they'll each receive a monetary prize that they can spend on anything they want. Sounds great doesn't it?

My favorite category is spiritual...and I'm not just saying that to sound self-righteous. On their own initiative, they are reading their devotions and as a family we're serving together throughout the summer. In our first week alone, we chalked up 5 1/2 hours. Truly...we're not serving just to mark something off our list. If you've read this blog very long, hopefully you've picked up on the idea that serving together as a family is extremely important to me.

We'll continue our monthly rotation at the Henry Hosea House in Newport and now that I'm not working, we'll be able to rejoin our friends at our monthly nursing home volunteer day. But two new places where we're volunteering are Master Provisions (this one is Abbey's passion) and with our church at a government subsidized neighborhood just down the road from where the church building is located. These last two have my heart pumping because both are an extension of our calling and passion to serve single moms. Both serve the desperately poor and as expected, mostly single moms.

Also, as God leads and provides opportunities through Boundless Ministries, we will continue to pray for and serve the single moms we know and the ones we have yet to meet. I've even been brewing up a creative idea on how to serve expectant single moms that I hope to unveil in the near future.

So this is a serving summer for us...and I wouldn't have it any other way! Join in the fun and ask God how you can best serve Him this summer!