I Am Annoyed with Jen Hatmaker

Many, many months ago, my friend shared that she wanted to start a book club using Jen Hatmaker's book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. I signed up without having read the book and smugly knowing that God's Spirit has already been working in me in regards to the prevalent excess of our U.S. culture. I am downright radical compared to many. It's easy to live with less when you have less to live with, right?

I can honestly say that I have not judged anyone or their comments. I am mature enough in my faith to know that we are all in different places in our Journey and I don't believe anyone needs to live out their spiritual life exactly like mine. Thus, my smugness has never been geared toward anyone else, just a tool to make myself feel better. 

And I was quite content.

Until last Monday when I read the chapter on spending.

Somehow, I knew this chapter was going to get touchy for me. I mean, the chapter about media was hard enough, given my addiction to all forms of media, but that is my struggle and I can quickly convince myself that it harms no one else. (Yes, I am greatly deceived!) But spending affects many more than just little ol' me. My comfort and convenience exact a toll on the poor, marginalized and needy in my culture and around the world. This is not a new concept for me and one that God has been refining in me for many years now.

I readily highlighted shareable quotes like, "While it is easy to become paralyzed by the world's suffering and the inequalities created by corruption and greed, we actually hold immense power for change, simply by virtue of our wealth and economic independence."

That's good stuff. This truth is reflected in my desire to buy Fair Trade, spend less and tip big. We sponsor an impoverished family in Ethiopia; help the homeless as much as God allows; buy a lot of organic, sustainable and ethically harvested food; and although recycling in an apartment is very difficult, we attempt to Reduce, Reuse and Recycle as much as possible. I can certainly pat myself on the back at how God has changed and molded me to be more in His image.

But then Hatmaker had to go and mess with a good thing. Almost a week later, I'm still a little annoyed with her to be honest. I mean what do you do with this?

"We don't see the New Testament church hoarding the feast for themselves, gorging, getting fatter and fatter and asking for more; [Amen...preach it Jen!] more Bible studies, [Huh?] more sermons, more programs, classes, [What the?] training, conferences, [Now...hold on one stinkin' minute!] information, more feasting for us."

When I read that, my first thought was: Jen Hatmaker, I don't think I like you right now.

Oh...but she continued to accuse me (or at least the Church, of which I am part) of ceasing to live the Bible and instead "just to study it". She drew some correlations between a buffet and my spiritual life that I won't even repeat here...it is just that crazy! There's also a plethora of my, my, my, my, my's in there that would make any 2 year old toy-fighting tantrum seem downright cute.

So what did I do? Well...I quickly skimmed through to the next section telling myself I'd come back to this disturbing portion when the time was right. Frankly, I got a little angry with this eccentric woman and her little rant about my feasting.

Six days later, and three attempts to read it again and I am still annoyed. How could she be all funny and authentic about her own failings and then start to point out mine? I feel like she set me up. But the truth is...she called me out.

Or rather, the Holy Spirit did. 

And He's not finished.

There's a lesson in all of this, and I'm still sorting out what it is. One thing I know is to stop being smug with myself about how God has changed me. Hah! Just when I think I'm making some progress, He reminds me that humility is always a good thing.

Another thing I just can't shake free of is this question that the Spirit is still formulating in my heart and mind: In the same way that when I spend limited money and resources on my own comfort and pleasure, it leaves less for the underprivileged and marginalized of our world...how does spending my finite energy and time on filling up my own spiritual "tank" keep me from filling up someone else's? Okay, I can't quite figure out the most eloquent way to verbalize this yet, but there it is. 

God's Spirit has already been awakening me to the gifts, talents and the Vision He has for me. He has not brought me through so many trials and so much pain simply for me to hoard the gift of His wisdom and discernment for myself. There are literally billions who do not know this amazing God or His Son, my Savior, nor the power of the Holy Spirit that He jealously desires to have reside inside them. 

How can I keep pulling myself up to the table and not actively extend an offer for them to join me? I still don't know how this will all play out. But I do know that it wouldn't irritate me this much unless the Spirit had a way to work it out in me and through me to share with others.

So thanks a lot Jen Hatmaker [yes, sarcasm is intentional!]. You've sort of messed up my Bible study feasting, and to be honest, I'm not very happy about it. It was much easier to blindly pull up to the table and pour on another heap of self-serving discipleship.

Okay, Holy Spirit...

now what?