Wednesday, March 12, 2014

They Love Me In Spite Of...Me

I am in a Bible study small group with a wonderful generational-blend of ladies from various backgrounds. This is how church, for me, should be. When I look around the room, I see women who were born in Germany, women who have to move frequently with military spouses, new moms and women who have been empty nesters for decades.

There are women who probably were in church the first Sunday after they were born and those that never stepped a foot in the door until Jesus was their only hope. We've had women still in college, women that were professionals for many years and women that have sacrificed careers to stay home. We have laid back and uptight. We have hungry, new learners and women that could quote most of the holy scriptures to you.

Mostly...we have Jesus. And apparently, He is all we need.

Because here's what happened last Thursday, and I've been chewing on it ever since: I have often disagreed with these ladies, challenging them with my weird, unconventional way of thinking and yet, after our luncheon, they began walking up to me and telling me they loved me, they appreciated that I think differently and I'm not afraid to speak up. They hugged me, patted my cheek and basically, just spoke love into my life. [Have I ever told you that I'm a "words of affirmation" love language person? Knowing that will help explain why this meant so much to me.]

Now, here's what I've been chewing on...this is how Jesus prayed for us to live. (see John 17:13-21) He didn't pray that we would all think alike, dress alike, forsake makeup alike and say the same words alike. No...He prayed that we would have unity. We are also told that "They will know we are Christians by our love" (see John 13:35) and that as "iron sharpens iron" (see Proverbs 27:17), we keep each other sharp. Not coincidentally, our pastor is currently preaching a series on being "One".

Here's the biggest reason why this all affected me so deeply though: I have had Christians walk away from or at a minimum back off from relationship with me for some very petty reasons.

It's sad really.

I have multiple examples I could share, but Holy Spirit is deeply challenging me about my use of words. Suffice it to say that some no longer speak to me, or have even turned their backs to me when I walk into a room. Remember...I am highly discerning. It doesn't take a genius to discern grievances when you position your back to me, or stop calling, or can never find time in your schedule to get together anymore. And some of these "disconnects" happened at a time when our world was caving in all around us and we desperately needed some hands to help hold us up. Financial assistance was always helpful and appreciated, but a brother or sister listening to our doubts and confusion was what we needed even more.

I don't throw all of this out there to try to make anyone feel guilty. I am hoping to draw the sharp contrast between someone not liking my sense of humor (an exaggerated example, but pretty close) and these women who still love me despite our disagreements on biblical interpretation, theology and discernment of the Spirit.

So yes...they love me in spite of...me! But more than this, they're teaching me to give this same gift to others. I know putting this out there means it will soon be tested in my life. My tongue and my attitude are both in need of some purification and if these ladies can love me when I challenge them to the core of all they have believed, I think I can attempt to let go of my petty grievances because you just don't like me anymore.

Not there yet...but it's a start.

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