Deeply Impressed

In a previous post, Waiting on Him  I made the statement that "I have turned provision for us over to Him and daily ask Him to either provide for us miraculously or to deeply impress upon us how we are to do it." And in another recent post, He is Rapidly Putting This All Together I admitted that while so focused on Him and this ministry that He's putting together I noticed I wasn't worrying about money anymore. When faced with the first of the month rent coming due,  I was confident in asking, "Do I need to keep praying everyday that I trust You to either miraculously provide or have You deeply impress upon us how we are to provide or do You just have that covered?" I instantly felt His Spirit assure me, "You don't need rent today...let's talk about it when you do."

I've recently had a few conversations with different people that expressed concern over this approach to asking for His provision. I now know some of the concern raised was that maybe I was looking for God to speak in a hugely obvious way. And I understand why as Christians living by faith, we shouldn't always be seeking "signs and wonders".  In John 4:48 Jesus even sounds like He is a little honked off that the officials are asking for them.

But honestly, I'm not looking for signs and wonders or even handwriting on the wall ( Daniel 5 ). As I said in my post two days ago ( Don't You Want to Fly? ) I just want to be smack dab in the middle of His absolutely, best ever, perfect will for me. Amen!

Well, the rent did come due and we faced a lot of opportunities to doubt. We even had a conversation where some desperate options were mentioned. But through it all, amazingly...no, supernaturally...I had a sense of peace and calm that was totally given by the Holy Spirit. All day Thursday and Friday, I just kept reciting over and again all of the Scriptural promises God has given to me in the last two weeks. I kept telling Him that even if no money came or no solution presented itself I would praise Him for Who He is...not what He's done. His Holy Spirit reminded me that He would not give me all of these promises, confirm time and time and time again that this is His path He has laid before us and then take His hands off and say, 'Okay, now YOU figure out how to pay your rent and survive the next two weeks.' He just wouldn't do that.

Yesterday morning, I was praising Him that I now knew we would have enough rent, but living on $15 for a family of six for the next two weeks was going to be pretty difficult and I just needed Him to guide me on what to do. [Side note: In our American culture, I know it makes people uncomfortable to discuss actual dollar figures. Part of it I think is whatever your family upbringing instilled in you...but I've also begun to realize I think part of it is false humility. If we truly believed everything we have is God's, why would we be ashamed, uncomfortable or embarrassed to say how much  (or how little!) it is? So what, if I only have a little bit left? It's not mine anyway, right? Okay...now disembarking from soap box...]

I had confidence...only given by Him no less...that He would come through...and of course, He did! While I was praying Friday morning, the thought "popped" into my head that we have this extra refrigerator that we brought with us when we moved. For awhile, I was stocking up on baking supplies and items I need for my unique dietary requirements so we truly did need two. But as money has dwindled and we can stockpile less, both fridges where not being used to even half capacity. I felt like Holy Spirit was saying, "Put it on craigslist for $200". So that's what I did.

I spent most of the day Friday (in between taking care of the kids and running errands) cleaning both fridges, sorting, purging, and combining everything into one refrigerator. Now, if you know me, you will know that I am not someone that gets excited about cleaning...in fact, I think it's a colossal waste of time and for some people it is a form of idolatry. (I can say that because it's NOT an idol for me. Hah!) I have never had a home that was like stepping into a model home. Hey, I have kids...it's never going to be perfect. But yesterday, I was downright excited all day to be cleaning these refrigerators. There was a deep satisfaction in knowing that my God was absolutely faithful to impress upon me what I should do and that I was obeying Him.

I mean, I could have waited until today, right? No...absolutely not! I'm learning that when the Spirit says, "Move!" I need to say "Where and how fast?" By about 7 p.m. last night, for this and a few other reasons, I was wiped out. I sat down to eat some dinner and get the craigslist posting ready. I researched a few other refrigerators that were listed and realized that this price of $200 was actually a little low. When I first started the listing, I even bumped it up to $250...but I felt a very strong, "No, I said $200." I obeyed and the listing was finally posted somewhere around 7:30 p.m.

As I prayed for God to lead the right person to the listing, the thought crossed my mind that even if it didn't sell and we just donated it, at least we would have a decrease in our electric bill. Also, maybe this is God just asking us to downsize and let even one more little thing go because He's preparing us to be that much more streamlined with wherever He is leading us. After all, if nothing else, it's one less thing to clean, right?

I explained all of this to Dale late last night when he got home and he was interested and supportive, but not as excited as I was. I'm okay with that. These sorts of things are never as exciting for a third party...but I fell asleep in the peace of knowing I'd obeyed.

I sort of piddled around this morning and the phone rang (wrong number) around 9:15 a.m. but I noticed that I had a voice mail. Somehow I'd not heard it ring at 8:15 a.m. That's when someone left a message wanting the refrigerator! That's right...13 hours after I posted it! I called him back, he was at our place with cash in hand and it was gone by 10:30 a.m. Wow! Satan even tried to make me doubt our safety in letting a stranger in, but I told him to be gone and not poo-poo on my parade. I would be careful and leave the door open.

But here's the funny thing...this was a young man...I mean young...and he had a friend with him. Neither one reeked of smoke (unusual in Kentucky), neither had any tattoos or piercings, they were both very polite and even mentioned that they'd cleaned the wheels of the dolly they were using so they wouldn't track dirt in on our carpet. After they left, I thought, "Okay, am I just overanalyzing this God, or did one of Your kids need a fridge and this was Your way of helping both of us out?" Either way, the guy was thrilled and didn't even really check out the refrigerator that much...I pointed out the defects I'd already listed in the posting so that he could examine them more closely, but he didn't much care.

As if this wasn't enough...then the mail came, we received another fiancial blessing that was totally unexpected. What an amazing feeling to, for the first time, never once doubt that He would come through and seeing Him not only do it...but do it BIG! Giving a tithe portion of our blessing to Boundless Ministries even covers the paper and ink I told God I needed a few days ago to get us started.

How could anyone doubt God's desire to not only provide, but also His ability to deeply impress upon us how we can be a part of it? Beloved child of God, I am not the only one that He wants to speak to this way. He wants all of you...your every thought, desire, need, want, care, worry, scheme, dream and pleasure. He desires to be so intimate with you that  He can break into the middle of your day and say, "Okay, now I want you to do this," and you answer, "yes!" He wants you to ask Him about every decision...yes, every decision. The joy of being smack dab in the middle of His perfect will is unexplainable apart from His Almighty Spirit. Don't waste another day...run to Him, call on Him, seek Him, beg Him until you get an answer. And yes, I've been at this long enough that I know even when the answer is long (or even in my mind late!) in coming, there is still great joy to be found in the intimacy you can have with Him.

I do not doubt His loving Hand is all over this ministry He is calling us to and given the barrage of fiery darts being thrown by the enemy, I have no doubt it is exactly what the evil one does not want us to do. But as long as I draw breath I will BELIEVE that everything we have been through has been to bring us to this place in our lives where we can choose to be in the center of His perfect will and find joy in the struggle.

Hang on! I'm downright giddy at what He is doing and how He is doing it. I humbly expect Him to do huge things. I hope this doesn't sound too coarse, but I feel like He's just been "chomping at the bit," waiting for me to let Him explode all over my life. I'm ready...how about you?!