How Much We Change

Every once in a great while, God gives me a little reminder at just how much I've changed. Most recent case and point was a silly one. Last night, I was in Gordon Food Service (GFS) with my two youngest girls. I don't normally buy anything there except bulk honey to cook with (when I can't get raw honey). But recently, I've been buying frozen fruit there also since it's considerably cheaper than the regular grocery store.

I made the mistake of looking around though...like I tend to do when I'm hungry and in a store...and we picked up a few extras. When we came to the "breakfast sweets" section. I mentioned that we hadn't had any french toast sticks in a long time. My 9 year old looks at me...deadly serious...and says, "I don't ever remember having them!"

At least in her memory of the last 5-6 years, french toast sticks have not been part of a steady diet. Don't get me wrong, they are expensive and unhealthy fare, but I do remember the kids eating them often when they were little. [One time we ate them far too often as we attempted to collect Star Wars toys at Burger King. Ahhh! The lessons I've learned!]

But about six or seven years ago, we began the slow ups and downs of changing the way we eat. I guess for Leah's part, that means no memory of french toast sticks.

This morning as I pondered this, I thought, "God does the same with us, doesn't He?" Just yesterday, I was thinking about how I am not the same person that I was last year. Me, a year ago, wasn't like the me from 10 years ago. 10 years past "me" isn't the same person she was 20 years ago when Dale and I first met. And praise God...none of these ladies were the same rebellious woman from college or the pious one new to her faith either. Yet, I can not for the life of me pinpoint specific dates when God healed me of a certain pain or released me from the bondage of worry or fear over particular issues. I have no recollection of the day when I said, yes...we will eat better or I'll stop letting materialism rule my life.

And you know what? I am thankful for an Abba that loves me enough to coax me into change...but does it at the pace that will last over the long haul. I've often thought over the years that if on the first day of putting all of my trust in Him He would have asked me to do all of the changes He's made slowly over time in my life...I would have been so overwhelmed from the get-go that I would have walked away.

But He knows me so well that He even knows how slow I have to go to get to the place He wants me...and then lo and behold...one day, I turn around and I don't even recognize that person from 20-30 years ago. Just like the french toast sticks, I can't even remember when I changed.

So today...I'm thankful for my Abba that is patient, loving, merciful...and persistent. And just in case you're wondering...and please don't draw any correlations with delving back into sin or anything...this morning for breakfast...we're having french toast sticks!



Update: They don't even taste that good!