Living Beyond Fear

A couple of days ago I posted this article on Facebook from Ann Voskamp's website and it really resonated with me. Since last fall, our oldest, Abbey, has been learning to drive. I will confess that I have a great fear of lack of control when someone other than myself is driving. This is not a good attribute to possess when your daughter who struggles with perfectionism and low self-esteem is the one learning to drive. Suffice it to say, her dad did most of the training.

Last Tuesday, after a true perfectionist's repetitive driving of the course multiple times...she passed and the instructor said, "I wish all of my tests were this easy." She was proud, and deservedly so. 

Later that night, she drove by herself to hang out with a friend in Florence, the biggest town near us. It's about 15-20 minutes away. We asked her not to drive on the interstate, I told her I loved her and to be careful and I honestly can say I didn't worry about her once. She's even had our other children in the car with her a few times since and I haven't fretted at all.

Now...before you go thinking I'm some sort of superwoman or something, I have to back up a little to our recent vacation. My driving control issues have been a source of contention between Dale and I as long as we have been together (20 years if you count dating). I have criticized him on more than one occasion, I am sad to reveal. But as God has been stripping me down, one of the things He has helped me let go of throughout the last three years is a fear of dying. Actually, He's helped me with all of my fears. Not that they never rear their ugly heads, but overall, He has given me victory in the day-to-day of worry and fear.

When Dale was driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains of Pennsylvannia, my "normal" fear of no control in the twists and turns of the road began to surface. As gently and calmly as if He were in the car physically beside me, I felt Him "put His arm around me" (figuratively speaking of course) and ask, "What exactly are you afraid of Angela?" Following Beth Moore's advice to go there with your worries and listen to how He will handle them, I replied, "Having a wreck!" I knew He "got it", but He pushed further, "And what will happen if you have a wreck?" "One of us could be injured or die." "And what will happen if you get injured...let's just take care of that one first."  "Well...I guess You'd see us through the injury, take care of us, heal us or help us deal with any disability that might result." "Yes...and what if one of you dies?" "We get to be with You! (smile!) Okay...I get it...no matter what happens...You've got it covered." (sigh!)

Immediately, there was peace in my body and in my soul. I know I needed that lesson before my daughter started driving. I still ask her to be honest to and respectful of us, to tell us where she's going, and only go there or else call and let us know how her plans have changed. But that first night as a couple of the other members of our family were asking multiple times, "When did Abbey say she'd be home?" and "Does she have her phone?" I realized just how far He'd brought me in my fears and how thankful I was for His perfect timing. (And no, I didn't fret over Dale's driving anymore either!)

Bottom line, I can't be with my children 24/7 for the rest of their lives...but I know the One who can!